Would gay people exist if we didn't have assholes?

[Hammock Parties]

Let's say, instead of giving us asses to crap from, the creator instead had all human waste "exuded" from our pores, almost untraceablly.

Would gay people exist? :hmmm:

I suppose they could still blow each other.

Please note this is not a gay bashing thread! Rather, it is a philosophical exercise, because I am intellectual and shit.

[Fire Me Boy!]

But gochiefs, what would we do without you here?

[Dartgod]

You're f***ing retarded...


EDIT: Sorry, that was insulting to mentally challenged people everywhere.

[tk13]

Without hesitation, I can say this is the most insane thread idea I have ever seen on ChiefsPlanet. Wow.

[Iowanian]

I think that Coke your Cousin's mouse put in your arse was half draino.

[morphius]

I'd assume the only reason you posted this is because you are afraid to take it in the ass from your future lover, so have to wonder if he would just be happy if you blew him all the time instead.

[Red Dawg]

I must say that this the funniest damn post I've ever read on the planet. What a damn question.

[Red Dawg]

One more time I must say, this is an insanely funny post.

Sweat shit?"

Go chiefs is now a legend.

[Iowanian]

This, meatpeeker, is your brain on drugs.

I think you live next door to Cannibal and got a contact high.

[Fire Me Boy!]

OK, so a serious response to this thread:

Homosexual sex has never been a "normal" form of intercourse, so if you think about the first homosexual relationship, assuming it was man-man, they must have had some kind of thought process where they figured out they'd use the asshole instead of the vagina. Now, if there were no asshole, they'd figure something else out. Consider, also, that homosexual females don't normally have strap-on anal sex, but rather focus on being clever talkers (cunning linguists, if you will). The homosexual feelings do not come about in a sexual manner (when a relationship forms)... perhaps it BEGINS with lust or a sexual attraction, but the relationship builds on an emotional connection, just like hetersexual relationships.

SO... no. If people didn't have assholes, there would still be homosexuals.

[stevieray]

It was only a matter of time.

[yeti]

Drunken Friday night philosophical excerise it seems. Okay, if women didn't have vaginas would you still want get a bj and play with their fun bags?

[Fire Me Boy!]

Drunken Friday night philosophical excerise it seems. Okay, if women didn't have vaginas would you still want get a bj and play with their fun bags?
gochiefs has no frame of reference to answer this question, so I'll rephrase for him...


If Star Wars didn't have Boba Fett, would you still want to watch it?

[Hammock Parties]

perhaps it BEGINS with lust or a sexual attraction, but the relationship builds on an emotional connection, just like hetersexual relationships.

I agree 100%. But would you stay with a chick if she only gave you blowjobs for the rest of your life instead of sex?

[CosmicPal]

If two men are in a bedroom together, do they make a sound?

[Fire Me Boy!]

I agree 100%. But would you stay with a chick if she only gave you blowjobs for the rest of your life instead of sex?
Yes.

[Hammock Parties]

gochiefs has no frame of reference to answer this question, so I'll rephrase for him...


If Star Wars didn't have Boba Fett, would you still want to watch it?

Yes. I liked Star Wars before I knew of Boba Fett.

[Fire Me Boy!]

If two men are in a bedroom together, do they make a sound?
Yes... and smells. Lots, and lots of smells.

[Hammock Parties]

If two men are in a bedroom together, do they make a sound?

I am making noises with another man in a bedroom right now, so yes.

They are non-sexual noises.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Yes. I liked Star Wars before I knew of Boba Fett.
And there, grasshopper, is your answer.

[CosmicPal]

Yes... and smells. Lots, and lots of smells.

Ewwww, you're gay!


:D

[yeti]

I agree 100%. But would you stay with a chick if she only gave you blowjobs for the rest of your life instead of sex?

If she could deepthroat...probably. :)

[Fire Me Boy!]

Ewwww, you're gay!


:D
:shake:

[Hammock Parties]

Naturally I have no way of knowing, but I'd think you'd get an extreme urge to dive into that hot pink pussy every once in awhile.

Or maybe not.

[Fire Me Boy!]

If she could deepthroat...probably. :)
My wife's learning... that's why I said "yes" to that question.

:D

[CosmicPal]

Naturally I have no way of knowing, but I'd think you'd get an extreme urge to dive into that hot pink pussy every once in awhile.

Or maybe not.

Are you seriously this ignorant?

[yeti]

My wife's learning... that's why I said "yes" to that question.

:D

Lucky you.

[Mr. Kotter]

One more time I must say, this is an insanely funny post.

Sweat shit?"

Go chiefs is now a legend.

I'm with you....I laughed. Heh.

[Iowanian]

Would someone Revoke this Donkey Fan's Chiefsfan Card?

[Fire Me Boy!]

SPeaking of butt sex... I actually saw someone in Wal-Mart wearing a shirt that said, "Mary wasn't a virgin if you count anal." I wanted to laugh hysterically, and sob uncontrollably at the same time.

[Mr. Kotter]

I agree 100%. But would you stay with a chick if she only gave you blowjobs for the rest of your life instead of sex?

Hell, most guys would prefer that.... ROFL

[Hammock Parties]

Are you seriously this ignorant?

Yes. I have never even kissed a girl.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Hell, most guys would prefer that.... ROFL
Again... why I said "yes" to the question.

[stevieray]

:shake:

:deevee:

[Mr. Kotter]

Yes. I have never even kissed a girl.

You've GOT to be fuggin' yankin' our chain here, dude.....

[Hammock Parties]

Hell, most guys would prefer that.... ROFL

I thought pussy was like the be-all end-all of sexual pleasure? :shrug:

[Hammock Parties]

You've GOT to be fuggin' yankin' our chain here, dude.....

No. Can you give me a situation where I should have kissed a girl in my life?

[Fire Me Boy!]

Yes. I have never even kissed a girl.
Didn't you shower with the woman from Metro Sports once?

[Mr. Kotter]

My wife's learning... that's why I said "yes" to that question.

:D

4" hardly qualifies as "deepthroat"....;)

[Fire Me Boy!]

I thought pussy was like the be-all end-all of sexual pleasure? :shrug:
Get a girl that will suck you, man... that's the best advice I can give you.

[Mr. Kotter]

No. Can you give me a situation where I should have kissed a girl in my life?

In your life? :hmmm:

You are right; nevermind.... :)

[yeti]

No. Can you give me a situation where I should have kissed a girl in my life?

Umm...lets see during adolescence?

[Fire Me Boy!]

4" hardly qualifies as "deepthroat"....;)
And that's why I married a midget. Smaller hands, smaller mouths, makes me look bigger.

[Mr. Kotter]

I thought pussy was like the be-all end-all of sexual pleasure? :shrug:

Well, it's damn good...but, oh my, a gal who knows how to do that....well? Yikes.... :shake:

[Hammock Parties]

Umm...lets see during adolescence?

I wasn't allowed to date for 19 years.

Granted, the rest of my life is MY fault.

[Mr. Kotter]

And that's why I married a midget. Smaller hands, smaller mouths, makes me look bigger.

That's why she was so tight.... :hmmm:

[Fire Me Boy!]

That's why she was so tight.... :hmmm:
Actually, she's so tight because she's anorexic... you were basically scrapin' bone.

[Iowanian]

Buy a hooker already..........Spider wouldn't even have started this thread.

$50 and you've solved one of your life problems.

[Fire Me Boy!]

I"m going to hell. ANd if my wife reads this thread it'll be Christmas 2009 before I get laid again.

:shake:

[Mr. Kotter]

Buy a hooker already..........Spider wouldn't even have started this thread.

$50 and you've solved one of your life problems.

No shit....LOL ROFL

[Mr. Kotter]

Actually, she's so tight because she's anorexic... you were basically scrapin' bone.

So that's what that was half way in.... :hmmm:

:p

[Hammock Parties]

Buy a hooker already..........Spider wouldn't even have started this thread.

$50 and you've solved one of your life problems.

I don't really see it as a problem. I'd rather not screw someone that doesn't want me, personally. It would feel wrong.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Buy a hooker already..........Spider wouldn't even have started this thread.

$50 and you've solved one of your life problems.
Maybe we could take up a collection... $100 and we wouldn't even have to get one of END's hookers... we could get one under 250 pounds.

[Fire Me Boy!]

So that's what that was half way in.... :hmmm:

:p
SHe's also a crack head... it might have been a balloon.

[CosmicPal]

I wasn't allowed to date for 19 years.




That sucks. I feel for you there. That is simply not fair to an average growing boy who would get a hard-on riding the bus to school.

The thing is though, you could have dated w/out your parent/s knowing about it. Shit, throughout high school I dated three gals at the same time- each from a different school. They didn't know until I made a dumb azz mistake our senior skip day....

[yeti]

I wasn't allowed to date for 19 years.

Granted, the rest of my life is MY fault.

You don't have to date a girl to be able to kiss her...well maybe you do and then still. You should have been making up for all those "lost" years. That what seems to happent to people who have been sheltered for that long. When they are finally free they turn into mega whores.

[Mr. Kotter]

I don't really see it as a problem. I'd rather not screw someone that doesn't want me, personally. It would feel wrong.

No wonder you are a virgin.... :shake:

[Fire Me Boy!]

gochief: megawhore. ROFL

[Hammock Parties]

The thing is though, you could have dated w/out your parent/s knowing about it.

I know. I was well behaved. :rolleyes: :banghead:

[CosmicPal]

Buy a hooker already..........Spider wouldn't even have started this thread.

$50 and you've solved one of your life problems.

No...I disagree. I think it's a shame for a guy to lose his virginity to a hooker.

We should place an ad out for him...get an average girl who's looking for a clean-cut guy with a massive Star Wars collection. There's a ton of them out there.

[Iowanian]

meatpeeker...I think a hooker would want you...want you go give hi...I mean "her" some money and then 10-15 of your best powerstrokes.

I'll bet you could utilize some self hypnosis mojo on her though.......Light a candle, play soothing music or ocean waves...........and in an even tone repeatedly say something like "every inch, feels like 3....Every second, feels like a minute".

She'll be convinced you gave her one hell of a 6" of the longest time she's ever held her breath.

[Mr. Kotter]

....We should place an ad out for him...get an average girl who's looking for a clean-cut guy with a massive Star Wars collection. There's a ton of them out there.

Maybe royr17's internet squeeze is back on the market? :hmmm:

[CosmicPal]

We should get Kevin (Rainman) to write a singles ad for you. Snap a pic of yourself with a Star Wars poster behind you, and the Planet will get you laid.

[Iowanian]

I've got a better Idea....

Let Iowanian write it up. Write what up you ask?

Well friends.......we're going to auction Gochief's virginity on Ebay, with proceeds going to our favorite charity which name won't be associated.

[tk13]

Maybe royr17's internet squeeze is back on the market? :hmmm:
:shake: Horrible.... :)

[yeti]

the Planet will get you laid.

Man that would be good advertising.

[Hammock Parties]

I have a singles ad out there already. No, I won't post the link.

Anyway, does anyone care about the original topic anymore? ROFL

[stevieray]

We should get Kevin (Rainman) to write a singles ad for you. Snap a pic of yourself with a Star Wars poster behind you, and the Planet will get you laid.

ROFL uhhuh, it's friday night and where are all of you experts?

[Mr. Kotter]

I've got a better Idea....

Let Iowanian write it up. Write what up you ask?

Well friends.......we're going to auction Gochief's virginity on Ebay, with proceeds going to our favorite charity which name won't be associated.

Holy, sh*t....Batman!

"Whoomp, there it is!" A 37Forever FUNDRAISER, at that..... ROFL

[CosmicPal]

I've got a better Idea....

Let Iowanian write it up. Write what up you ask?

Well friends.......we're going to auction Gochief's virginity on Ebay, with proceeds going to our favorite charity which name won't be associated.

ROFL

Sweet! Sounds like a good idea. I nomimate your idea...

[yeti]

I have a singles ad out there already. No, I won't post the link.

Anyway, does anyone care about the original topic anymore? ROFL

No. Get over it.

[Hammock Parties]

I've got a better Idea....

Let Iowanian write it up. Write what up you ask?

Well friends.......we're going to auction Gochief's virginity on Ebay, with proceeds going to our favorite charity which name won't be associated.

No, that's really quite alright. If it happens, it will be by my own hand.

[Fire Me Boy!]

The eBay idea would go over HUGE! Not only would there be people that would bid on the opportunity to "educate" young gochiefs, but the media would be all over it!

[yeti]

No, that's really quite alright. If it happens, it will be by my own hand.

If it hasn't happened by your own hand by now, then what makes you think things will change?

[Fire Me Boy!]

No, that's really quite alright. If it happens, it will be by my own hand.
That's part of the problem... too many times has it been by your own hand.

[CosmicPal]

I have a singles ad out there already. No, I won't post the link.



Obviously it's not doing you any good. Let us tinker with it, spice it up a little bit, and try to make ya look like a champ to the hungry women everywhere...

[tk13]

No, that's really quite alright. If it happens, it will be by my own hand.
I know... KNOW... you aren't that clueless to set yourself up for the home run-punchline to this post. Give it up man.

[Iowanian]

Holy, sh*t....Batman!

"Whoomp, there it is!" A 37Forever FUNDRAISER, at that..... ROFL

What part of "unnamed charity" did you not comprehend? what in the hel'n were you thinking man?!

You can't say that name, on the.....in a fuggin inbred, deviate thread like this........Good Lawd Man.

[Hammock Parties]

I know... KNOW... you aren't that clueless to set yourself up for the home run-punchline to this post.

:D

[Hammock Parties]

Obviously it's not doing you any good. Let us tinker with it, spice it up a little bit, and try to make ya look like a champ to the hungry women everywhere...

I'm not really THAT concerned about it.

Everything happens for a reason. When I'm ready, it'll happen.

[Mr. Kotter]

What part of "unnamed charity" did you not comprehend? what in the hel'n were you thinking man?!

You can't say that name, on the.....in a fuggin inbred, deviate thread like this........Good Lawd Man.

Ahh....who cares....money is money, man. ;)

[Hammock Parties]

The eBay idea would go over HUGE! Not only would there be people that would bid on the opportunity to "educate" young gochiefs, but the media would be all over it!

Are you serious? It HAS been done before, you know. I doubt the media would care.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Are you serious? It HAS been done before, you know. I doubt the media would care.
:sulk:

I didn't know...

[Iowanian]

No, that's really quite alright. If it happens, it will be by my own hand.


Negative Ghostrider....its already BEEN at your own handrea...

As far as "on topic"....if the right Bear wins your auction.......you'll be able to park a volkswagon next to your prostate, and it might be VERY relevant.


Let it be done....the auction it is.

The Keyboard of Doooooooooooom, will get you Laid.........somehow.

Like a mailman....No Rain nor sleet, nor Beast will fail..........gochief's butt will be impaled.

[Fire Me Boy!]

ROFL

I just got a mental image of my crackhead, anorexic, midget wife...

ROFL

[Iowanian]

Ahh....who cares....money is money, man. ;)

Uh....I can think of alot of reasons, and People, who wouldn't want that name associated with a thread like this......or that type of activity, since its an above board, legit organization.


Whats going to freak everyone out....is when YOU win the Auction.

[Amnorix]

Let's say, instead of giving us asses to crap from, the creator instead had all human waste "exuded" from our pores, almost untraceablly.

Would gay people exist? :hmmm:

I suppose they could still blow each other.

Please note this is not a gay bashing thread! Rather, it is a philosophical exercise, because I am intellectual and shit.

When you're cruising down the road in the fast lane and you lazily sail past a few hard-driving cars and are feeling pretty pleased with yourself and then accidentally change down from fourth to first instead of third thus making your engine leap out of your hood in a rather ugly mess, it tends to throw you off your stride in much the same way that this remark threw Amnorix off his.

err....what?

[Hammock Parties]

http://www.lord-trotsky.freeserve.co.uk/bebayvirg.jpg

[Fire Me Boy!]

http://www.lord-trotsky.freeserve.co.uk/bebayvirg.jpg
And all I got was this button.

[Hammock Parties]

Let it be done....the auction it is..

No. I'm not willing to take the embarrassment.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Damn, it's only 12:30 and I'm well on my way to 3,000 posts before the night's over... heh.


SHIT! Now I'm taking after Kotter... heh.

SHIT.


Heh.

[Iowanian]

Its not like we're going to ask Psichosis or Iowanian to recreate the incident in chatlog form, IIIdognight.

We've got your picture, name, voice clips, hobbies.....

It should happen.........and you'll be thankful. It can even be a "woman" if you want.

[Fire Me Boy!]

No. I'm not willing to take the embarrassment.
Like that matters.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Its not like we're going to ask Psichosis or Iowanian to recreate the incident in chatlog form, IIIdognight.
No WAY am I doing a documentary on the subject.

[Hammock Parties]

Like that matters.

It matters to me. I'd rather not get laid because a bunch of strangers threw a hooker at me.

[Iowanian]

Its not that meatpeeker........

If they win your Auction.........YOU'LL technically be the Hooor, since THEY are paying YOU.....minus iowanian's management and consulting fees of 90%

[Hammock Parties]

I'd rather not inflict myself on some poor bitch. Seriously.

[CosmicPal]

I'm not really THAT concerned about it.

Everything happens for a reason. When I'm ready, it'll happen.

Nice philosophy- I live by this as well.

However, I'd go freakin' crazy if I didn't get laid after awhile...

[Loki]

No wonder you are a virgin.... :shake:

took the words out of my mouth kotter.


gochiefs,
how would you know if it just "felt right" anyways??
you think chicks are all about the act "feeling right"? some of them just
want to slam like we do.

have you given up on women like a "sour grapes" situation in your mind?
you haven't gotten any so you justify it by saying "oh well, it's probably
overrated anyways..." or something like that? they're not that scary
dude... they're just girls.
go talk to some of them and get a date for chrissakes! tell them how
you like their hair/smile/legs/eyes/perfume/clothes whatever. more and
more compliments are a great icebreaker, and an easy conversation for
you if you think she's really hot. gnome sayn?

don't give up!

quit with your "i'm a starwars jedi monk" routine (because you're NOT a
jedi monk) and get out there. there are tons and tons of pretty girls
out there waiting for you to compliment them. (cripes if it needs to be
a starwars reference, even anakin got some action by telling his chick
she turned him on.)

[Loki]

Its not that meatpeeker........

If they win your Auction.........YOU'LL technically be the Hooor, since THEY are paying YOU.....minus iowanian's management and consulting fees of 90%

wow... a measley 90%? you're rather generous. ;)

[Iowanian]

technically, you likely wouldn't be putting yourself on a "poor" broad, if she can afford to pay.

maybe it'll be some shy, innocent sorrority chic whose friends are footing the bill

[Fire Me Boy!]

(cripes if it needs to be a starwars reference, even anakin got some action by telling his chick she turned him on.)
Actually, if memory serves, he got her by whining and generally acting like a spoiled brat... FWIW.

[Hammock Parties]

you think chicks are all about the act "feeling right"? some of them just
want to slam like we do.



I don't care how it feels to THEM. I have to feel right about it.

[tk13]

technically, you likely wouldn't be putting yourself on a "poor" broad, if she can afford to pay.

maybe it'll be some shy, innocent sorrority chic whose friends are footing the bill
Or maybe it'll be someone who looks like Rosie O'Donnell.

[Fire Me Boy!]

technically, you likely wouldn't be putting yourself on a "poor" broad, if she can afford to pay.

maybe it'll be some shy, innocent sorrority chic whose friends are footing the bill
Yeah... because... you know... sorority chicks don't have 1,000 frat boys ready to pounce.

[Fire Me Boy!]

I don't care how it feels to THEM. I have to feel right about it.
Get into it and it'll feel right. Trust me.

[Iowanian]

gochiefs wouldn't be a mexiCAN, he'd be apparently be a mexiCAN'T

[Loki]

No...I disagree. I think it's a shame for a guy to lose his virginity to a hooker.

agreed. it would be a shame.


We should place an ad out for him...get an average girl who's looking for a clean-cut guy with a massive Star Wars collection. There's a ton of them out there.

ROFL ROFL ROFL

a ton of them out there!
that is friggin funny!!!

[CosmicPal]

I don't care how it feels to THEM. I have to feel right about it.

If you start thinking that way, you'll be a virgin for a very long time. Having a one-night stand is a mutual act considered by both. It's great-you wake up in the morning, maybe do it again, and then walk off into the daylight never having to hear from her again. And a lot of times, you never want to hear from them again.

[Hammock Parties]

OK, I should just come out and say it. I'd be fine with being an Ebay whore if I didn't live with my parents. Basically I'm a ****ing loser and I'd rather not inflict myself on anyone else until that changes.

[CosmicPal]

OK, I should just come out and say it. I'd be fine with being an Ebay whore if I didn't live with my parents. Basically I'm a ****ing loser and I'd rather not inflict myself on anyone else until that changes.

Ged...dude, get some freakin' guts in you. I was phucking chicks in my parents house a lot when I was a teen...some times while they were asleep.

[Loki]

I don't care how it feels to THEM. I have to feel right about it.

then take my advice, get out there, meet some chicks, throw out some
choice compliments and get a few dates. dates will lead to other things
if you both dig each other (or are really, really drunk.. ;) ).

would THAT feel right to you then?

[Fire Me Boy!]

OK, I should just come out and say it. I'd be fine with being an Ebay whore if I didn't live with my parents. Basically I'm a ****ing loser and I'd rather not inflict myself on anyone else until that changes.
How 'bout a hotel? :p

[Iowanian]

Somewhere...in a land far far away.......a young man, living in his mother's basement will become wealthy, when he becomes the owner/operator of "the Starwars Glory Hole".

I just made you a million dollars and NOT a virgin.

If it works out, get an apt, you won't be a virgin, you'll have enough money, Hot chics won't be able to keep their panties on, and you'll have no excuse not to pay that Fiddy for that lost wager of 2 years ago.


A little confidence would help you lay that pipe. You don't actually have to TELL them what your living arrangement is.........go to HER place.

Somewhere, out there, alone tonight......is a peculiar woman, who is into extreme penetration, just waiting for some guy in a Boba Fet Suit to Impale her Stinkstar...And Beyond!

[Hammock Parties]

then take my advice, get out there, meet some chicks, throw out some
choice compliments and get a few dates. dates will lead to other things
if you both dig each other (or are really, really drunk.. ;) ).

would THAT feel right to you then?

Of course.

[CosmicPal]

then take my advice, get out there, meet some chicks, throw out some
choice compliments and get a few dates. dates will lead to other things
if you both dig each other (or are really, really drunk.. ;) ).

would THAT feel right to you then?

Compliments never work. A little bit of charm, some keen humor, and a lot of confidence will always score with the women. But, you hurt yourself when you're wearing a Darth Vader T-Shirt.

[J Diddy]

Compliments never work. A little bit of charm, some keen humor, and a lot of confidence will always score with the women. But, you hurt yourself when you're wearing a Darth Vader T-Shirt.


Unless she's wearing a darth vader t-shirt....

[CosmicPal]

Unless she's wearing a darth vader t-shirt....

ROFL

GoChiefs dream girl

[Iowanian]

we've already had this "intervention".....If he wanted to "listen" and have some serious assistance in this field..he'd dig up the old thread, with 300 serious attempts, instead of "hey Earl, if I suk yer baows, ehm Ah the Ghey?"

[Hammock Parties]

You're right Iowanian...and I didn't really intend for this thread to end up this way...so let's all pretend I'm a 38-year old corporate executive and bang my 23-year old secretary every afternoon.

[Loki]

OK, I should just come out and say it. I'd be fine with being an Ebay whore if I didn't live with my parents. Basically I'm a ****ing loser and I'd rather not inflict myself on anyone else until that changes.

it's only going to change if you change it. waiting for some "right opportunity" to come along while sitting on your ass feeling sorry for your situation and MAKING WEAK ASSED EXCUSES FOR YOURSELF has done nothing for you... has it?

unless you take the first step out of your situation, you're going to be:
1. still stuck in your parents house
2. still calling yourself a loser
3. still waiting for something to come along that's never going to come

sounds fun eh?

[Fire Me Boy!]

You're right Iowanian...and I didn't really intend for this thread to end up this way...so let's all pretend I'm a 38-year old corporate executive and bang my 23-year old secretary every afternoon.
http://pics.drugstore.com/prodimg/10181/200.jpg

[CosmicPal]

You're righ Iowanian...and I didn't really intend for this thread to end up this way...so let's all pretend I'm a 38-year old corporate executive and bang my 23-year old secretary every afternoon.

I banged a 24 year old last night, and I'm chatting with her right now...Get off the Planet and get yourself into a bar and starting tossing some libations with a lonely girl....

[Iowanian]

You're right Iowanian...and I didn't really intend for this thread to end up this way...so let's all pretend I'm a 38-year old corporate executive and bang my 23-year old secretary every afternoon.

Lance, would probably prefer if you refered to him as your administrative assistant.

[Fire Me Boy!]

it's only going to change if you change it. waiting for some "right opportunity" to come along while sitting on your ass feeling sorry for your situation and MAKING WEAK ASSED EXCUSES FOR YOURSELF has done nothing for you... has it?

unless you take the first step out of your situation, you're going to be:
1. still stuck in your parents house
2. still calling yourself a loser
3. still waiting for something to come along that's never going to come

sounds fun eh?
And THEN, you'll end up like keg, without the ex-wife! Do you want THAT!?!?!?!

[Rausch]

we've already had this "intervention".....If he wanted to "listen" and have some serious assistance in this field..he'd dig up the old thread, with 300 serious attempts, instead of "hey Earl, if I suk yer baows, ehm Ah the Ghey?"

I'd bet $500 right now that if he was ever in Jeff City for 2 days I'd land GoVader some pelt to poke. It's not all that hard.

He's got a good enough sense of humor he just doesn't have the "baows."

[Fire Me Boy!]

I banged a 24 year old last night, and I'm chatting with her right now...Get off the Planet and get yourself into a bar and starting tossing some libations with a lonely girl....
I got birthday sex with a 22-year-old!

[Hammock Parties]

Yes, I know all this. I'm not really asking for advice, y'know? So quit ripping on me for not taking it.

[Rausch]

I got birthday sex with a 22-year-old!

She got a hot mom?

Perhaps we can double... :hmmm:

[Fire Me Boy!]

She got a hot mom?

Perhaps we can double... :hmmm:
Not only is she the friggin' antithesis to "hot," she's a giant ****ing bitch.

[Iowanian]

gochiefs..........you've been here long enough, to know when you start silly as threads like this......you're gonig to take some heat.


...and by heat...I don't mean IcyHot for Lube while you wax the saber.

[tk13]

I banged a 24 year old last night, and I'm chatting with her right now...Get off the Planet and get yourself into a bar and starting tossing some libations with a lonely girl....
Guh, you old bastard. Get someone your own age.

tk13
-President of the "Stay off the women my age old man" committee


(Of course, you could be just like 27 and I don't know any better...)

[Loki]

Compliments never work. A little bit of charm, some keen humor, and a lot of confidence will always score with the women. But, you hurt yourself when you're wearing a Darth Vader T-Shirt.

dude... we're talking about a guy who has NEVER gotten laid and is probably scared to talk to girls because of that fact.

compliments are a great way for overly-shy dudes to "break the ice" and start a conversation. i'm not trying to make the kid rico suave here... just trying to help him make a first move because he obviously hasn't before...


"hi... my name is gochiefs. i am confident, charming and have a keen sense of humor. will you go out with me??"

[Hammock Parties]

I banged a 24 year old last night, and I'm chatting with her right now...Get off the Planet and get yourself into a bar and starting tossing some libations with a lonely girl....

You know that's not my style.

[Iowanian]

I did a google of "star wars fetish women" thinking I could get you a chic...

this was the 2nd link. Sorry.
http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=475028

[teedubya]

ONLY GOCHIEFS.

:shakehead:

ONLY GOCHIEFS

[CosmicPal]

dude... we're talking about a guy who has NEVER gotten laid and is probably scared to talk to girls because of that fact.

compliments are a great way for overly-shy dudes to "break the ice" and start a conversation. i'm not trying to make the kid rico suave here... just trying to help him make a first move because he obviously hasn't before...


"hi... my name is gochiefs. i am confident, charming and have a keen sense of humor. will you go out with me??"

I know, I know...I'm not attacking your suggestion. I just know that it rarely ever worked for me. I'm not trying to turn GoChiefs into Rico Sauve either, I'm just saying from my experience saying something funny to break open the conversation works nearly every time...later on, the compliments will definately get them interested in you.

[Iowanian]

Don't lose Hope little Stormtrooper

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/337110.stm
http://www.starwarschicks.com/media/book.shtml
http://binarybonsai.com/archives/2005/04/25/star-whores/

if that doesn't work out...theres always
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0343312/

[Hammock Parties]

Guys...I don't want a chick right now....thanks for the offers though.

[Fire Me Boy!]

OK... PLEASE... if it's not work safe, let us know. :banghead:

[SoCalBronco]

yep, this is a gochiefs thread alright.

[Mr Grimm]

OMG... :shake: :banghead:

[Loki]

I did a google of "star wars fetish women" thinking I could get you a chic...

this was the 2nd link. Sorry.
http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=475028

hilarious!!

this passage had me friggin rolling:


'Boba Fett' is actually a corruption of 'Rubber Fetish'; Mr Fett took this name to emancipate himself from the shackles of homophobic, patriachal society. Underneath that armour (which comes in every colour of the rainbow) lies the tastiest gimp suit you have never laid thighs upon.

[badgirl]

I'd say yes, thats kinda like saying if guys didn't have a dick would there be hetrosexuals, its not all about sex, but its a big part, there would be the blowing part as you mentioned, but there would still be lesbians, they are considered as gay, not just the guys. IMO

Oh yea this is a stupid thread Gochiefs,don't get all pissy cause I said this cause its true. :p

[Hammock Parties]

That's pretty funny. ROFL

[Brando]

Is this thread the by-product of a homeless guy stretching out your balloon knot in exchange for a cheeseburger?
Yes...even without a leather cheerio you would still be a flaming homo.

[luv]

Is this thread the by-product of a homeless guy stretching out your balloon knot in exchange for a cheeseburger?
Yes...even without a leather cheerio you would still be a flaming homo.
Leather cheerio. :hmmm:

[WolfDawg]

I don't really see it as a problem. I'd rather not screw someone that doesn't want me, personally. It would feel wrong.


You have much bigger problems than just not getting laid.

And from that last post I think one of those problems is you might be a woman.

[WolfDawg]

No, that's really quite alright. If it happens, it will be by my own hand.


by your own hand has been the problem all these years.

we're looking to find you a woman.

[Hammock Parties]

This was a good thread.

[TinyEvel]

Goatnutz, you are a complete a-hole. What a dumb and ignorant thread.

[Ugly Duck]

Let's say, instead of giving us asses to crap from, the creator instead had all human waste "exuded" from our pores, almost untraceablly.

Would gay people exist? :hmmm:

I suppose they could still blow each other.

Please note this is not a gay bashing thread! Rather, it is a philosophical exercise, because I am intellectual and shit.

http://i31.tinypic.com/i3h06s.gif

[Hammock Parties]

Goatnutz, you are a complete a-hole. What a dumb and ignorant thread.

Have I offended you?

[wutamess]

Let's say, instead of giving us asses to crap from, the creator instead had all human waste "exuded" from our pores, almost untraceablly.

Would gay people exist? :hmmm:

I suppose they could still blow each other.

Please note this is not a gay bashing thread! Rather, it is a philosophical exercise, because I am intellectual and shit.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v252/Riggz_/ff47cy.gif

[chasedude]

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, I thought I'd seen it all on here.

[tooge]

Let's say, instead of giving us asses to crap from, the creator instead had all human waste "exuded" from our pores, almost untraceablly.

Would gay people exist? :hmmm:

I suppose they could still blow each other.

Please note this is not a gay bashing thread! Rather, it is a philosophical exercise, because I am intellectual and shit.

So, lets get this straight. your but pal had his ass sewn up and now you are wondering if you are still considered gay for just blowing him? yes

[Chiefnj2]

midnight vulture was getting too much attention so Clayton had to bump an example of his own ignorance.

[Hammock Parties]

midnight vulture was getting too much attention so Clayton had to bump an example of his own ignorance.

The difference in this case is my ignorance is only theory.

[Baby Lee]

If two men are in a bedroom together, do they make a sound?

What's the sound of one hand FAPPING?

[vailpass]

"If we didn't have assholes would gay people exist?"

Why don't you kill yourself and we'll see if they dissapear?

[keg in kc]

I'm not reading any of this, but I'll add one word: lesbians.

[teedubya]

Yeah, you are an intellectual and shit.

[gblowfish]

I don't believe there's a shortage of Gay Assholes.
So what's the problem?

[jidar]

Lesbians exist without dicks so I guess so.

[Carlota69]

"If we didn't have assholes would gay people exist?"

Why don't you kill yourself and we'll see if they dissapear?

:LOL:

[J Diddy]

I'm not reading any of this, but I'll add one word: lesbians.


lesbians eat ass too

[keg in kc]

lesbians eat ass tooSo do straight girls.

[petegz28]

OK, so a serious response to this thread:

Homosexual sex has never been a "normal" form of intercourse, so if you think about the first homosexual relationship, assuming it was man-man, they must have had some kind of thought process where they figured out they'd use the asshole instead of the vagina. Now, if there were no asshole, they'd figure something else out. Consider, also, that homosexual females don't normally have strap-on anal sex, but rather focus on being clever talkers (cunning linguists, if you will). The homosexual feelings do not come about in a sexual manner (when a relationship forms)... perhaps it BEGINS with lust or a sexual attraction, but the relationship builds on an emotional connection, just like hetersexual relationships.

SO... no. If people didn't have assholes, there would still be homosexuals.

so you're saying if gay guys had twats they'd be pussy pounders but not really? ROFL

[R&GHomer]

So this is the kind of thing Gay people are pondering these days.