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Zebedee DuBois
08-03-2005, 06:03 PM
I want to commit catracide.

We have a cat that thinks outside the box too often. I don't think this animal has any redeeming characteristics. It is afraid of the outdoors. It is afraid of mice. It might beat up on a cricket. It considers the litter box as just one of many options. It needs to die.

Of course, there are other family members that seem to think the cat is cute.

Thus, I need to find a way to dispatch the cat and yet have it look like natural causes, or at least like I didn't have anything to do with it's demise. That means the corpse can't be mutilated or wet...and I can't have any incriminating scratch marks. If I could do the deed, and then leave the body on the stairs or somewhere for someone else to discover....that should dispell suspicions.

I've thought of putting her in a cooler and displacing the air with nitrogen or some other gas.

Any ideas?


For those of you that have tender feelings for felines, pretend I said "Bronco lover".


Any ideas?

Nightfyre
08-03-2005, 06:05 PM
aspirin

Frosty
08-03-2005, 06:09 PM
anti-freeze

Zebedee DuBois
08-03-2005, 06:14 PM
I don't think aspirin would work. The cat is a finicky eater. She wouldn't just eat an aspirin sitting in the food dish. Forcing the aspirin down her throat would likely leave claw marks on my forearms.

While anit-freeze may be tempting to her, I would have to leave it somewhere for her to find and consume. That kind of activity may be detected by other household members since anti-freeze has a distinctive odor.


Let's get your subversive thinking caps on.

Adept Havelock
08-03-2005, 06:17 PM
If your going to kill it, at least have the balls to admit it to your family.

Coward.

Dartgod
08-03-2005, 06:18 PM
http://www.themountainsplash.com/godkillssmall.jpg

Zebedee DuBois
08-03-2005, 06:21 PM
If your going to kill it, at least have the balls to admit it to your family.

Coward.

You're new at the whole "family dynamics" thing, aren't you?

Zebedee DuBois
08-03-2005, 06:21 PM
http://www.themountainsplash.com/godkillssmall.jpg


That doesn't work, seemingly.

chagrin
08-03-2005, 06:25 PM
If your going to kill it, at least have the balls to admit it to your family.

Coward.



You are probably just kidding, trying to get a rise out of people.

HOWEVER,

On the off chance that you really plan on doing this, own up to it at least.

Frosty
08-03-2005, 06:26 PM
If the cat is an indoor cat, maybe it can "accidently" get out while everyone else is gone and disappear.

It could end up at the pound or something (and have a chance with some other family, maybe, unless PETA kills it first). No body means less grief and the family will eventually get tired of waiting for it to show up.

bogie
08-03-2005, 06:27 PM
If you're serious, you suck! I'm not necessarily a cat lover but to kill a family pet because it is an inconvenience is just wrong. When your family discovers it's dead aren't they going to be heart broken? Doesn't that matter to you? I repeat, you suck.

DenverChief
08-03-2005, 06:28 PM
it can't be that bad?

stumppy
08-03-2005, 06:29 PM
Just lock it in the garage with the car running. Or any type of enclosure and pipe some exhaust gas in. Just do it when nobody is home. After it has assumed room temperature just take it in the house and lay it down all curled up in it's favorite spot to sleep.


If you would like to introduce intense pain into the deed let me know.:D

Rain Man
08-03-2005, 06:30 PM
If you're going to do this, I would suggest a murder-suicide, so you don't have to wait as long before going to Hell.

Zebedee DuBois
08-03-2005, 06:32 PM
If you're going to do this, I would suggest a murder-suicide, so you don't have to wait as long before going to Hell.

Do you have to that in a certain order, or anything?

DenverChief
08-03-2005, 06:33 PM
If you're going to do this, I would suggest a murder-suicide, so you don't have to wait as long before going to Hell.ROFL

Zebedee DuBois
08-03-2005, 06:37 PM
Actually, I don't think the family would take it too hard. "Beloved" is a gross overstatment of the situation. There was no mourning when the "working" cat passed on (in his sleep at age 16 - I wasn't involved). The cat is a nuisance to everyone, having just peed in my daughters laundry basket - the clean laundry. They just aren't thinking about hurrying nature along, like I am.

Rain Man
08-03-2005, 06:40 PM
Do you have to that in a certain order, or anything?

1. Write note.
2. Commit suicide.
3. Commit murder.

Over-Head
08-03-2005, 06:43 PM
Buy some cat-nip. Get the wretched animal (all cat's are wicked beasts THIS IS A PROVEN FACT!) fried out of his mind, then shove him in a garbage bag, tie it shut, go to you living room, pop in a movie and enjoy your saturday afternoon. :evil:
When the movie is over, dump the furball out of the bag and into a hidden corner somewhere and look bewildered when another family member finds him "dead in his sleep".



Cat, just another white meat! :D

Zebedee DuBois
08-03-2005, 06:43 PM
1. Write note.
2. Commit suicide.
3. Commit murder.

For Step 2, could I take up smoking?

Nightfyre
08-03-2005, 06:44 PM
sprinkle crushed aspirin on a steak while the family is out. Game over. You win.

Rain Man
08-03-2005, 06:47 PM
For Step 2, could I take up smoking?

Only if you douse yourself with gasoline first.

Fire Me Boy!
08-03-2005, 07:21 PM
Actually, I don't think the family would take it too hard. "Beloved" is a gross overstatment of the situation. There was no mourning when the "working" cat passed on (in his sleep at age 16 - I wasn't involved). The cat is a nuisance to everyone, having just peed in my daughters laundry basket - the clean laundry. They just aren't thinking about hurrying nature along, like I am.
Why don't you take the animal to a shelter? Maybe you don't want it, but someone else will. I know you're probably joking about this, to an extent, but as others have said, if you're not, you suck. I'm a cat lover myself, and the amount of serious suggestions, that would work, is pretty scary to me.

bogie
08-03-2005, 07:24 PM
Actually, I don't think the family would take it too hard. "Beloved" is a gross overstatment of the situation. There was no mourning when the "working" cat passed on (in his sleep at age 16 - I wasn't involved). The cat is a nuisance to everyone, having just peed in my daughters laundry basket - the clean laundry. They just aren't thinking about hurrying nature along, like I am.

You must be a raider fan.

bogie
08-03-2005, 07:25 PM
Why don't you take the animal to a shelter? Maybe you don't want it, but someone else will. I know you're probably joking about this, to an extent, but as others have said, if you're not, you suck. I'm a cat lover myself, and the amount of serious suggestions, that would work, is pretty scary to me.

There ya go.

Iowanian
08-03-2005, 07:30 PM
1 burlap sack
1 stone(medium size)
1 bridge with river under it.

gblowfish
08-03-2005, 07:32 PM
If you're serious, you suck! I'm not necessarily a cat lover but to kill a family pet because it is an inconvenience is just wrong. When your family discovers it's dead aren't they going to be heart broken? Doesn't that matter to you? I repeat, you suck.If you can't care for a a pet, you don't deserve to have one. Take it to a no kill shelter and make a donation.

How bout I send a link on your post to the ASPCA and your local municipal government? Still want to kill an innocent animal?

Hey, here's a funny thread. Some guy set a puppy on fire and tried to kill it. Hee hee! What a knee slapper. Bet you'll get some yucks since you think hurting animals is fun. Read the whole thread. Maybe you'll laugh so much you'll get snot bubbles:

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?p=2594802#post2594802

I'm not kidding, this kind of stuff pisses me off. Don't do it. And kidding around about killing pets isn't funny either. It's just wrong, and it's extremely poor taste. Dimwit. And all you guys who think its funny, shame on you too. :cuss:

Jenson71
08-03-2005, 07:46 PM
Have you tried burying it's body in the ground and lopping it's head off with a lawn mower?


:rolleyes:

Skip Towne
08-03-2005, 07:53 PM
Just lock it in the garage with the car running. Or any type of enclosure and pipe some exhaust gas in. Just do it when nobody is home. After it has assumed room temperature just take it in the house and lay it down all curled up in it's favorite spot to sleep.


If you would like to introduce intense pain into the deed let me know.:D
You've done this before haven't you?

Zebedee DuBois
08-03-2005, 07:55 PM
I don't want to torture the cat.
The quickest and least painful method, the better.

I don't happen to think that every feline life is sacred.
People maybe, but not cats.

I am not happy with this cats performance.
I want to return it to the manufacturer.

Rain Man
08-03-2005, 07:56 PM
If people were more like cats, the world would be a lot better place for everyone except mice.

I'll bet if it came down to a vote, the family would elect to keep the cat over Zebedee.

gblowfish
08-03-2005, 07:56 PM
I don't want to torture the cat.
The quickest and least painful method, the better.

I don't happen to think that every feline life is sacred.
People maybe, but not cats.

I am not happy with this cats performance.
I want to return it to the manufacturer.
http://tinyurl.com/bg9bj
Tell it to the man.

4th and Long
08-03-2005, 07:57 PM
If people were more like cats, the world would be a lot better place for everyone except mice.
That's damn near a Jack Handy moment right there!

Taco John
08-03-2005, 07:59 PM
A couple of questions... Rather than kill the cat, let's first try to determine why it's misbehaving.

1. is it fixed?

2. Are there any other animals in the house?

3. Do your kids play with any animals outside the house (like at a friends house)?

4. Are there any other cats in the neighborhood that might be putting off a scent? That doesn't seem likely, due to the cat not wanting to go outside... That part is the most curious part to me... That doesn't seem like normal cat behaviour.

5. How dirty is the litterbox when it goes in the clothes hamper?

That's a starter... I'll do some research in my cat behaviour books and see if I can find any other angles. I love my animals and have actually read quite a few books on animal behaviour. Both my cat and dog are very well trainend, and the cat even uses the toilet ON the toilet. I hate litter boxes and would much prefer to just flush the issue away.

Skip Towne
08-03-2005, 08:00 PM
sprinkle crushed aspirin on a steak while the family is out. Game over. You win.
That may not work as the animal can pick up the steak and shake the aspirin off it. Put the crushed aspirin in a hamburger ball where the cat has to eat the aspirin to get the hamburger. Does aspirin actually kill cats? I've never heard that.

4th and Long
08-03-2005, 08:04 PM
That may not work as the animal can pick up the steak and shake the aspirin off it. Put the crushed aspirin in a hamburger ball where the cat has to eat the aspirin to get the hamburger. Does aspirin actually kill cats? I've never heard that.
Cats metabolize aspirin at a very slow rate and it is very easy to overdose a cat with aspirin.

Taco John
08-03-2005, 08:05 PM
One more question... What kind (and brand) of litter do you use?

Dartgod
08-03-2005, 08:07 PM
So what's a little cat piss here and there? At least the little f***er's not embezzling from you.


"Hey, does anybody know where I can get some cat handcuffs? I've gotta get a pair of cat handcuffs. Either two little ones like this, to go around the little paws.. or a big one that hooks onto my arm and then hooks onto the cat. I found out my cat was embezzling from me, so I've gotta get a little pair.. of cat handcuffs, so.. Well, I found out that when I'm away, he goes to the mailbox, picks up the checks, take them down to the bank and cashes them. The way I caught him, I went out to his little house, where he sleeps at night, and there was like $3,000 worth of cat toys out there. And you can't return them, because they have spit all over them..."

Taco John
08-03-2005, 08:08 PM
My first bet is that the litter doesn't get emptied enough. Cats are clean freaks, and if their litter doesn't get emptied, they'll look for other places to go. A smelly hamper seems like a clean, natural alternative to them... It already smells in there, and it's not overrun with little logs... So why not, they think...

Zebedee DuBois
08-03-2005, 08:11 PM
A couple of questions... Rather than kill the cat, let's first try to determine why it's misbehaving.

1. is it fixed?

2. Are there any other animals in the house?

3. Do your kids play with any animals outside the house (like at a friends house)?

4. Are there any other cats in the neighborhood that might be putting off a scent? That doesn't seem likely, due to the cat not wanting to go outside... That part is the most curious part to me... That doesn't seem like normal cat behaviour.

5. How dirty is the litterbox when it goes in the clothes hamper?

That's a starter... I'll do some research in my cat behaviour books and see if I can find any other angles. I love my animals and have actually read quite a few books on animal behaviour. Both my cat and dog are very well trainend, and the cat even uses the toilet ON the toilet. I hate litter boxes and would much prefer to just flush the issue away.


1. Yes, it is spayed.
2. Not anymore. For several years we had two cats. The properly functioning, mouse catching, litter box using cat passed away six months ago. He was a magnificent animal and a credit to his species.
3. No.
4. I am sure there is a dominant cat in the neighborhood. The cat has never wanted to go outside, and will claw you if you try to take it out. Psychotic little....
5. We thought this might be the problem as well, and eventually got one of those self raking models that scoops it into a throw away container. As litter boxes go... I think it is pretty clean.


OK, people...I'll come clean. I doubt I would ever actually commit the catricide. I have been using this forum to vent a little. I have had several pets over the years and they can be like people. Some are great, some are quirky, and some are just not contributing much. But I have always stuck through the troublesome ones before (except maybe some fish - but people don't get all teary eyed for non mammals.)

Zebedee DuBois
08-03-2005, 08:13 PM
So what's a little cat piss here and there? At least the little f***er's not embezzling from you.


"Hey, does anybody know where I can get some cat handcuffs? I've gotta get a pair of cat handcuffs. Either two little ones like this, to go around the little paws.. or a big one that hooks onto my arm and then hooks onto the cat. I found out my cat was embezzling from me, so I've gotta get a little pair.. of cat handcuffs, so.. Well, I found out that when I'm away, he goes to the mailbox, picks up the checks, take them down to the bank and cashes them. The way I caught him, I went out to his little house, where he sleeps at night, and there was like $3,000 worth of cat toys out there. And you can't return them, because they have spit all over them..."

You are a wild and crazy guy.

Bring out the cruel shoes.

Zebedee DuBois
08-03-2005, 08:17 PM
My first bet is that the litter doesn't get emptied enough. Cats are clean freaks, and if their litter doesn't get emptied, they'll look for other places to go. A smelly hamper seems like a clean, natural alternative to them... It already smells in there, and it's not overrun with little logs... So why not, they think...

See other reply as to litter box condition.

No, the cat peed on the clean clothes in the clean clothes basket being taken from the laundry room to the bedroom. We have wire baskets in the laundry room for each person, and the clean clothes are folded and put in the basket. My kid took her basket up to her room, sat it on the bed, went to do something else, came back and found a little present.

Duck Dog
08-03-2005, 08:18 PM
A can of tuna and a cup of antifreeze. Mix well and serve.

gblowfish
08-03-2005, 08:20 PM
Hey you wild and wacky CP guys and gals. Let's have some fun figuring out how we can torture and kill house cats. Ha ha ha....boy I just love talking about this stuff.

I'd really like to kill a little 15 pound animal that loves me and trusts me and sometimes doesn't understand human rules. Hey, let's see what the State says about it. I bet they think killing house cats is big fun too!

http://www.animal-law.org/statutes/missouri.htm

Well, gee. what a bunch of killjoys. Since we can't legally torture our cats, let's enjoy some pictures of other people that have starved, burned, injured, or left their pets to die. Oh these'll be hysterical. HOO HOO HEE, yeah, that's real funny stuff right there!

Maybe I can do this to my kids or my parents too. I mean, if its fun with cats, its probably five or six times more fun with family!

Zebedee DuBois
08-03-2005, 08:21 PM
And another thing.....didn't you cat lovers see the instructions in the starter to substitue "bronco fan" for cat ?!?!!??!


Peoples reading comprehension these days.....
I blame the schools.

Frosty
08-03-2005, 08:24 PM
No, the cat peed on the clean clothes in the clean clothes basket being taken from the laundry room to the bedroom.

Sometimes, failure to use the litter box can be a sign of bladder or other urinary tract problems. Don't know what difference it makes to the cat. We had a cat who suddenly started peeing in the bathtub. Turns out it had some kind of urinary tract cancer (I don't remember the details) and we had to put it to sleep not long after (it wasn't curable).

Dartgod
08-03-2005, 08:27 PM
Hey you wild and wacky CP guys and gals. Let's have some fun figuring out how we can torture and kill house cats. Ha ha ha....boy I just love talking about this stuff.

I'd really like to kill a little 15 pound animal that loves me and trusts me and sometimes doesn't understand human rules. Hey, let's see what the State says about it. I bet they think killing house cats is big fun too!

http://www.animal-law.org/statutes/missouri.htm

Well, gee. what a bunch of killjoys. Since we can't legally torture our cats, let's enjoy some pictures of other people that have starved, burned, injured, or left their pets to die. Oh these'll be hysterical. HOO HOO HEE, yeah, that's real funny stuff right there!

Maybe I can do this to my kids or my parents too. I mean, if its fun with cats, its probably five or six times more fun with family!
Lighten up, Francis.

I doubt I would ever actually commit the catricide. I have been using this forum to vent a little. I have had several pets over the years and they can be like people. Some are great, some are quirky, and some are just not contributing much. But I have always stuck through the troublesome ones before (except maybe some fish - but people don't get all teary eyed for non mammals.)

Taco John
08-03-2005, 08:32 PM
A couple of things...

1. Some cat owners may not be aware of the fact that misbehaviour is often caused by illness. A cat that is not using the litter box may be sick and should see a vet, if only to rule out a medical problem. For example, it is common for male cats to develop feline urinary syndrome, which involves inflammation of the bladder and urethra and the formation of urinary stones and plugs, causing painful obstruction of the urethra. Signs of this condition are frequent attempts to urinate and straining to do so, and possibly traces of blood in the urine. A cat suffering from this will continually try to urinate outside of the box out of comfort. Litter box problems can also be a sign of various other illnesses... It might be worth a visit to the vet... They might even help figure out the problem...

Cat misbehaviour is almost always due to environmental concerns...

It also can be an emotional/anxiety/stress problem... A sudden change in the family routine that stresses the cat out... A death in the family, divorce, a kid leaving home, a kid returning home, mistreatment by a family member, etc. This type of problem can be solved with some extra attention to the cat.

The other issue, and this one sounds like it *could* be it, is senseing one or more strange cats close by. Occassionally a house cat will see another cat from the window roaming into his territory. This is very upsetting to some cats, but will usually cause them to soil areas close to the door.

The other issue is that your previous cat might have sprayed certain areas of your house without your knowledge, and the cat is smelling it and asserting itself against the offending cat. It's always a good idea to steam your carpets in between owning animals, and maybe even washing the walls.

Another thing is it might help to change to another brand of kitty litter. I preferred the crystals when my cat was using the litter box. Kitty seemed to like them as well...

If you catch your cat in the action, raising a ruckus and yelling "NO" and only "NO" (no other words... He needs to learn NO and associate it with bad behaviour). Some will say not to spank... Personally, I think that's bunk. Animals understand phycicality if they understand anything, and I've had much success with a good spanking while blurting a firm NO. I love my animals, but I'm not against giving them "living with me" lessons. I've had to spank my cat twice for peeing. He got the message loud and clear and he's never done it since. Only do this if you catch them though. Otherwise they won't associate their actions, and all you are doing is making them hate you. And always... an hour after a spanking, cuddle them and let them know you're alright. Coo them and they'll learn that you're not just the disciplinarian, but a loving member of the family that they can trust. They'll slowly let go of the association of you as the bad guy and associate the spanking with their misbehaviour. Like I say, most people will find the idea of spanking a cat abhorrent... All I can say is my cat uses the toilet, and cuddles in my lap every single day to get his daily affection. I love the animal and would do anything to keep him around for as long as possible... provided he keeps his end of the bargain and obeys the rules he KNOWS exist. And believe me, you... he knows.

Good luck.

jiveturkey
08-03-2005, 08:37 PM
A couple of things...

1. Some cat owners may not be aware of the fact that misbehaviour is often caused by illness. A cat that is not using the litter box may be sick and should see a vet, if only to rule out a medical problem. For example, it is common for male cats to develop feline urinary syndrome, which involves inflammation of the bladder and urethra and the formation of urinary stones and plugs, causing painful obstruction of the urethra. Signs of this condition are frequent attempts to urinate and straining to do so, and possibly traces of blood in the urine. A cat suffering from this will continually try to urinate outside of the box out of comfort. Litter box problems can also be a sign of various other illnesses... It might be worth a visit to the vet... They might even help figure out the problem...

Cat misbehaviour is almost always due to environmental concerns...

It also can be an emotional/anxiety/stress problem... A sudden change in the family routine that stresses the cat out... A death in the family, divorce, a kid leaving home, a kid returning home, mistreatment by a family member, etc. This type of problem can be solved with some extra attention to the cat.

The other issue, and this one sounds like it *could* be it, is senseing one or more strange cats close by. Occassionally a house cat will see another cat from the window roaming into his territory. This is very upsetting to some cats, but will usually cause them to soil areas close to the door.

The other issue is that your previous cat might have sprayed certain areas of your house without your knowledge, and the cat is smelling it and asserting itself against the offending cat. It's always a good idea to steam your carpets in between owning animals, and maybe even washing the walls.

Another thing is it might help to change to another brand of kitty litter. I preferred the crystals when my cat was using the litter box. Kitty seemed to like them as well...

If you catch your cat in the action, raising a ruckus and yelling "NO" and only "NO" (no other words... He needs to learn NO and associate it with bad behaviour). Some will say not to spank... Personally, I think that's bunk. Animals understand phycicality if they understand anything, and I've had much success with a good spanking while blurting a firm NO. I love my animals, but I'm not against giving them "living with me" lessons. I've had to spank my cat twice for peeing. He got the message loud and clear and he's never done it since. Only do this if you catch them though. Otherwise they won't associate their actions, and all you are doing is making them hate you. And always... an hour after a spanking, cuddle them and let them know you're alright. Coo them and they'll learn that you're not just the disciplinarian, but a loving member of the family that they can trust. They'll slowly let go of the association of you as the bad guy and associate the spanking with their misbehaviour. Like I say, most people will find the idea of spanking a cat abhorrent... All I can say is my cat uses the toilet, and cuddles in my lap every single day to get his daily affection. I love the animal and would do anything to keep him around for as long as possible... provided he keeps his end of the bargain and obeys the rules he KNOWS exist. And believe me, you... he knows.

Good luck.Thank you Dr. Phil.

After the break we'll be talking with Dr. Warson who happens to be a real vet.

Taco John
08-03-2005, 08:41 PM
Actually, a vet is a medical doctor. That's quite different from an Animal Behaviourist. I'm admittedly an amatuer at that, but one with a well established track record of results. I know the fundamentals, because I've read several books. But my practice is limited to my own pets and the advice that I've given to friends on their animals problems...

jiveturkey
08-03-2005, 08:42 PM
Actually, a vet is a medical doctor. That's quite different from an Animal Behaviourist. I'm admittedly an amatuer at that, but one with a well established track record of results. I know the fundamentals, because I've read several books. But my practice is limited to my own pets and the advice that I've given to friends on their animals problems...The advise actually makes a lot of sense.

I was just giving you a little kick to the nuts.

Rain Man
08-03-2005, 08:44 PM
I wonder if my ex-boss would drink a bowl of antifreeze.

Taco John
08-03-2005, 08:45 PM
I'm wearing a lead cup, biatch! ;)

jiveturkey
08-03-2005, 08:46 PM
I wonder if my ex-boss would drink a bowl of antifreeze.You aparently didn't watch the safety slide show on tortured bosses and the effect that it has on the children.

jiveturkey
08-03-2005, 08:47 PM
I'm wearing a lead cup, biatch! ;)I heard that lead doesn't breath well.

Zebedee DuBois
08-03-2005, 08:48 PM
I wonder if my ex-boss would drink a bowl of antifreeze.

Evidently you are supposed to mix it with his tuna, but don't tell gblowfish.

Taco John
08-03-2005, 08:49 PM
I wonder if my ex-boss would drink a bowl of antifreeze.



Have you tried urinating in his hamper?

jiveturkey
08-03-2005, 08:50 PM
Evidently you are supposed to mix it with his tuna, but don't tell gblowfish.Is that they guy incharge of safety demonstrations?

Skip Towne
08-03-2005, 08:50 PM
If people were more like cats, the world would be a lot better place for everyone except mice.

I'll bet if it came down to a vote, the family would elect to keep the cat over Zebedee.
Yeah, well, you're always championing the cat industry.

4th and Long
08-03-2005, 08:51 PM
Has anyone suggested just buying a big dog to keep in the house? That will make a better pet and it will take care of your other problem as well.

Valiant
08-03-2005, 08:51 PM
If you can't care for a a pet, you don't deserve to have one. Take it to a no kill shelter and make a donation.

How bout I send a link on your post to the ASPCA and your local municipal government? Still want to kill an innocent animal?

Hey, here's a funny thread. Some guy set a puppy on fire and tried to kill it. Hee hee! What a knee slapper. Bet you'll get some yucks since you think hurting animals is fun. Read the whole thread. Maybe you'll laugh so much you'll get snot bubbles:

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?p=2594802#post2594802

I'm not kidding, this kind of stuff pisses me off. Don't do it. And kidding around about killing pets isn't funny either. It's just wrong, and it's extremely poor taste. Dimwit. And all you guys who think its funny, shame on you too. :cuss:


Depending on how he kills it, he could get in no trouble at all even if you tell them...

Taco John
08-03-2005, 08:52 PM
Has anyone suggested just buying a big dog to keep in the house? That will make a better pet and it will take care of your other problem as well.



Have you ever lived with a cat and a dog in the same house? Cats just about 100% of the time dominate the dogs. At least in my experience... It doesn't matter the size of the dog either. Unless it's an alpha dog, which are the worst types to own because of their own behaviour problems... Owning an alpha dog and a cat is a good way to get your carpets SOAKED in urine.

chuxtrux
08-03-2005, 08:59 PM
Just let it spend 5 minuties with Bam Morris

Bwana
08-03-2005, 08:59 PM
Buy it a new toy.........like a new Glock. :)

memyselfI
08-03-2005, 09:03 PM
Thank you Dr. Phil.

After the break we'll be talking with Dr. Warson who happens to be a real vet.

Disregard if you want but what TJ said is true.

Many times a cat who suddenly starts going outside the box is suffering from UTI. A simple urine test (which when a cat has a UTI is not so simple) would indicate this as could a blood test.

Another thing to consider is if you recently switched kitty litter. Amazingly enough, this is one of the most common reasons for cats going outside their box. They are creatures of habit and if you switch their litter it can upset them.

Think about it, how else would your feline friend be able to tell you they hate their new litter or it hurts to pee?

Do yourself a favor and take the cat to the Vet before you sentence it to death...

Iowanian
08-03-2005, 09:03 PM
There is a HUGE effing difference between Torturing animals, and putting one down that has passed its usefullness.

Its that bullshit attitude that pisses me off.

Yeah...instead of taking it out, and putting a bullet in it to end it quickly, be a fuggin coward, and take it to the shelter....where it won't be adopted, and THEY will put it down, with your concience eased, because you don't have to Do it.


It would be very humane, as ways to put an animal down, to hold it near your car's exhaust.

I've personally taken probably 20 cats, that other people didn't want to the happy farm...where if they survive nature, will have ample food, shelter and children to play with them.

As of last count, there was 1...ONE that nature hadn't polished off...coons, dogs, tomcats aparently don't like kittens, cattle hooves, cars. Nature is a hell of alot more cruel than Humans(check that..the average human) could think of being.

Sometimes, putting one, like the one I found that had been stepped on by a cow, down is the most humane, kind thing you can do....and it doesnt' mean I enjoyed it.

gblowfish
08-04-2005, 07:35 AM
There is a HUGE effing difference between Torturing animals, and putting one down that has passed its usefullness.

Its that bullshit attitude that pisses me off.

Yeah...instead of taking it out, and putting a bullet in it to end it quickly, be a fuggin coward, and take it to the shelter....where it won't be adopted, and THEY will put it down, with your concience eased, because you don't have to Do it.


It would be very humane, as ways to put an animal down, to hold it near your car's exhaust.

I've personally taken probably 20 cats, that other people didn't want to the happy farm...where if they survive nature, will have ample food, shelter and children to play with them.

As of last count, there was 1...ONE that nature hadn't polished off...coons, dogs, tomcats aparently don't like kittens, cattle hooves, cars. Nature is a hell of alot more cruel than Humans(check that..the average human) could think of being.

Sometimes, putting one, like the one I found that had been stepped on by a cow, down is the most humane, kind thing you can do....and it doesnt' mean I enjoyed it.
Thanks for the neg rep, Mr. Kavorkian.
"up meds psycho"
Yeah, I'm the one with emotional and psychological problems here.
I'm done with you people.

MOhillbilly
08-04-2005, 07:38 AM
ive never met a cat that could outrun a 12 gauge.

chagrin
08-04-2005, 07:39 AM
There are non-kill shelters dude

Otter
08-04-2005, 07:44 AM
Thanks for the neg rep, Mr. Kavorkian.
"up meds psycho"
Yeah, I'm the one with emotional and psychological problems here.
I'm done with you people.ROFL

I can deal with cats in small doses when I'm at someone elses house and they own one but I would never want one as a pet. They seem to forget who the boss is too easily.

Iowanian You Brute!!!

Amnorix
08-04-2005, 08:24 AM
If you're going to do this, I would suggest a murder-suicide, so you don't have to wait as long before going to Hell.


ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

Dartgod
08-04-2005, 08:27 AM
I'm done with you people.
Be sure to start a "Goodbye, Planet, I'm leaving forever" thread on your way out. :rolleyes:

beavis
08-04-2005, 08:36 AM
Thus, I need to find a way to dispatch the cat and yet have it look like natural causes, or at least like I didn't have anything to do with it's demise.
I know a guy you should talk to. He'd make your problem "go away".

Rain Man
08-04-2005, 08:45 AM
Have you tried urinating in his hamper?


Desk drawers. Is that close enough?

Bwana
08-04-2005, 09:44 AM
Be sure to start a "Goodbye, Planet, I'm leaving forever" thread on your way out. :rolleyes:

You beat me to it Dart. ROFL

Lzen
08-04-2005, 10:42 AM
You don't need to kill the animal. He just needs a little behavior adjustment. Here's a device that should do the trick. ;)

Taco John
08-04-2005, 10:50 AM
Desk drawers. Is that close enough?



That's pretty good, but not as effective as a hamper...

Iowanian
08-04-2005, 10:57 AM
Thanks for the neg rep, Mr. Kavorkian.
"up meds psycho"
Yeah, I'm the one with emotional and psychological problems here.
I'm done with you people.

yeah...and its hippy, animal rights, jerkoffs like you, who find an animal that has been run over, or stepped on my a larger animal like a cow...has a broken back, and keep it alive to suffer for another week, where as the "barbarian" is kind enough to put a quick round in its brainpan to end the pain.

"you People". You'd have made a really shitty caveman. Now run along and Protest Disney for that whole "Old Yeller" thing.

When you write up the "I hate Iowanian" article for your website, be sure to quote me on this: "Suk Mah Baows". Now, get along with your stomping off like a 13 year old girl-fit.

If more of you Utopian Dipshits would have grown up on a farm, maybe you too, would have learned that sometimes, even though its not pleasant, the kindest act you can do for an animal is to shoot it.

Chief Faithful
08-04-2005, 11:07 AM
As of last count, there was 1...ONE that nature hadn't polished off...coons, dogs, tomcats aparently don't like kittens, cattle hooves, cars. Nature is a hell of alot more cruel than Humans(check that..the average human) could think of being.



I've seen coons clear a barn of almost 100 cats in a week.

Iowanian
08-04-2005, 11:11 AM
whata dilema......Dareth you eliminate Rocky racoon, to save the life of Felix and Garfield?

what a conundrum. End a life to save a life?

oh the choices....

I know, catch Rocky the Racoon and move him to a "no kill shelter".

Better wear some non-leather gloves, and a padded safe transportation cage with adequate ventilation.

Rain Man
08-04-2005, 11:20 AM
yeah...and its hippy, animal rights, jerkoffs like you, who find an animal that has been run over, or stepped on my a larger animal like a cow...has a broken back, and keep it alive to suffer for another week, where as the "barbarian" is kind enough to put a quick round in its brainpan to end the pain.

"you People". You'd have made a really shitty caveman. Now run along and Protest Disney for that whole "Old Yeller" thing.

When you write up the "I hate Iowanian" article for your website, be sure to quote me on this: "Suk Mah Baows". Now, get along with your stomping off like a 13 year old girl-fit.

If more of you Utopian Dipshits would have grown up on a farm, maybe you too, would have learned that sometimes, even though its not pleasant, the kindest act you can do for an animal is to shoot it.


Without reading the whole thread, which would undoubtedly psychologically scar me and drive up my therapy costs significantly, I think there's a big difference between mercy killing an injured animal and killing a pet that's misbehaving.

chagrin
08-04-2005, 11:21 AM
I just offered the non-kill shelter as an alternative. I don't recall going animal rights crazy on anyone

Iowanian
08-04-2005, 11:28 AM
that wasn't really directed at you cha.

rainman.......When I grew up, if the "dog of the month" were to as much as growl at a visitor...It went "away".

There are alot of levels of Misbehavior, and I know its probably against the grain, but I think that sometimes, it is a perfectly viable option.

Not long ago, my dog, who I spend alot of time dinking around with, usually let go along when I go somewhere(not work related) was having a problem...Severe shit attacks, and dominated my house twice...............un-acceptable.

I took him to the vet, and as they were writing up the $150 bill for the "guess and expensive food".....he started to talk about "surgical options"..at which Point I stopped him and said

"I like my dog. He's a good dog and I have alot of time invested in him, but the Value of his life is $200, and I'll put him down before I spend more than that"

I wouldn't enjoy it, I wouldn't like it, but I'll be damned if I'll be one of the people that spend $1k+ to get my dog worked on.

I know others do, and thats their choice and I respect it. I'm probably just less sensitive after growing up, seeing the things I saw on the farm.

many times, the kindest thing was to put an animal down. Sometimes born too small( runt pigs) would get chewed to death by the others if you didn't give them a whack.

Like I said....nature, is a cruel Bitch.

chagrin
08-04-2005, 11:32 AM
Ohhhh, sorry then, carry on

:thumb:

Rain Man
08-04-2005, 11:33 AM
Yeah, the medical care thing is a whole different topic, too. There are a lot of different philosophies there, and to be honest I don't think any single one is superior to the others.

I worry about this as my cats get older. I'm a big softie, but at what point would I say, "That's too much money."? I just hope when it happens that it's an easy and obvious decision.

MOhillbilly
08-04-2005, 11:34 AM
i dont get off on killing but i dont feel anything either.

onescrewleftuntwisted
08-04-2005, 11:46 AM
THROW SOME ROCKS AT IT GIVE IT A GOOD RUNNING START AND THEN

TARGET PRACTICE

10 GAUGE, TURKEY LOADS SHOULD DO THE TRICK






side effects include: messy
gotta find the shovel
digging good sized hole
rocks on grave (do you want the dog to dig it up)
lime

Brock
08-04-2005, 11:48 AM
How bout I send a link on your post to the ASPCA and your local municipal government? Still want to kill an innocent animal?

Dipshit, I don't think posting about killing cats is illegal yet. Write your freaking congressman if you're that upset about it.

Biohazard
08-04-2005, 11:48 AM
I think you should auction the cat off here on the planet , and box him up and ship him to whom ever was the highest bidder, so that no one has to hear of the cat being killed, and you make alittle money and are rid of carpet ruining furball! Problem solved

ct
08-04-2005, 11:54 AM
... No body means less grief and the family will eventually get tired of waiting for it to show up.

You ever been to Aruba?

Frosty
08-04-2005, 11:55 AM
"I like my dog. He's a good dog and I have alot of time invested in him, but the Value of his life is $200, and I'll put him down before I spend more than that"

I have an agreement with my dog. I spent $65 to get her - so she better not ever get more than $65 sick.

As for my cats - I can always get a cat free somewhere. :)

chagrin
08-04-2005, 11:56 AM
"Ever been to Aruba?"

ouch

onescrewleftuntwisted
08-04-2005, 11:57 AM
killit have it stuffed place in corner of house
when asked what happened

"the cat saw a mouse, he has been scared stiff since"

beavis
08-04-2005, 01:00 PM
You ever been to Aruba?
That's not right. :shake:

Lzen
08-04-2005, 01:06 PM
I think you should auction the cat off here on the planet , and box him up and ship him to whom ever was the highest bidder, so that no one has to hear of the cat being killed, and you make alittle money and are rid of carpet ruining furball! Problem solved

And I have the perfect way to ship a cat. :D


http://pages.prodigy.net/lzen/catcarrier.jpg