View Full Version : College football programs as rappers

Ultra Peanut
08-03-2005, 07:35 PM


Nebraska/Notorious B.I.G.
For a couple of years they were completely unstoppable, and then they had to go get freakin' killed. Incredibly poor post-mortem management.

West Virginia/Three 6 Mafia
Known for inspiring an inordinate amount of property destruction.

Virginia Tech/Mystikal
Sex offenders.

Penn State/KRS-One
They'll be the first to tell you how important they are in the scheme of things and new jacks need to give them respect, but that doesn't shake the fact that they haven't been relevant in years.

South Florida/Cassidy
Foolishly think they have the resources to keep up with the Joneses in their hood. In their quest for the crown, there's probably gonna be a murder charge along the way, that's all I'm saying.

Kansas State/Master P
Experienced the terrifying lows, dizzying highs and creamy middles of the game and still managed to be a laughingstock at all points. Got fat off of appealing to the lowest common denominator, and will take every shady-ass piece of talent to continue doing so.

No matter how much they publicly embarass themselves, they've always got that one title to fall back on, ending any discussion. Usually manages to piss off everyone at some point.

Iowa/Gang Starr
Seemingly the total package: great synergy, an intellectual approach to the game, enormous respect from their peers and an overarching theme of "doing things the right way." And yet, the whole experience seems a little shy of transendence; the product is excellent, but frankly, they color within the lines so completely, they're difficult to truly love.

Oregon State/Noreaga
Though I'm not sure you can pin anything legitimately criminal on them, there's a certain ignant factor that makes them seem more gully than the average guys. Not known to associate with people of high moral fiber. Questionable intellectual capability. Gangsta, but still kind of goofy.

Tulsa/R. Kelly
If you know what Tulsa's nickname is, this should require no further explanation.ROFL

08-03-2005, 07:37 PM
Yeah, good read. I liked West Virginias the best. Kansas is lumped with Duke, UConn, and someone else, heh.

Ultra Peanut
08-03-2005, 07:40 PM
Yeah, good read. I liked West Virginias the best. "I'm burnin' couches, I'm burnin' couches"