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Rain Man
08-21-2005, 04:59 PM
I have a new potential theory about the afterlife.

As we all know, aliens are learning a lot about the human brain, which they then share with the Republicans, who give the information to medical researchers who publish it in the New England Journal of Medicine. A lot of what the aliens have learned in recent years centers around the fact that our brains are still developing physically after we're born. For example, I read a while back that Japanese grammar is processed in a different part of the brain than English grammar. There appears to be evidence that humans can "reprogram" our brains after birth.

I'm wondering, then, if you believe enough in a certain model of the afterlife - heaven/hell, nothingness, reincarnation, Space Odyssey, etc. - if your brain can actually program itself to provide you with that message as you're dying.

Under this theory, a religious person would see a white light and hear a Charlton Heston-like voice announce an invitation as a big pair of pearly gates swung open. A Viking would see a village full of mead and grog and chicks with body armor. A Hindu would see the inside of a hospital room or rabbit warren or something, with a mother offering a thumbs up. An atheist would just fade to black. Each of these visions would be triggered by the brain acknowledging death, and calling up the memory of what's supposed to happen at that point.

What do you think?

P.S. I realize that this theory has nothing to do with what REALLY happens upon death. It's what the brain tells you SHOULD happen.

PRIEST
08-21-2005, 05:02 PM
:eek:

Simplex3
08-21-2005, 05:04 PM
You're going to hell. You should start trying to convince yourself that hell is like a beach party with hot chicks.

Or something.

;)

Count Alex's Losses
08-21-2005, 05:06 PM
You are meddling with powers you cannot possibly imagine.

Simplex3
08-21-2005, 05:07 PM
You are meddling with powers you cannot possibly imagine.
Come on, if the aliens meant us harm they would have done it already.

DJay23
08-21-2005, 05:12 PM
Ugh.

I you do NOT have a theory, you have a hypothesis.

Rain Man
08-21-2005, 05:12 PM
You're going to hell. You should start trying to convince yourself that hell is like a beach party with hot chicks.

Or something.

;)


I bet all the chicks in hell are hot.


Just to be safe, I'm going to start fervently believing that the afterlife is a big supermodel nudist resort with barbecue and 80-inch TVs that pick up all the Chiefs games. Oh, and a really cheap Ann Taylor outlet for my wife.

DJay23
08-21-2005, 05:13 PM
It is an interesting idea though.

Count Alex's Losses
08-21-2005, 05:13 PM
I bet all the chicks in hell are hot.


Just to be safe, I'm going to start fervently believing that the afterlife is a big supermodel nudist resort with barbecue and 80-inch TVs that pick up all the Chiefs games. Oh, and a really cheap Ann Taylor outlet for my wife.

An outlet selling Ann Taylor's? Like, how old? So you can trade in the 35-year old model for an 18-year old?

jiveturkey
08-21-2005, 05:13 PM
Come on, if the aliens meant us harm they would have done it already.Bringing harm to us takes at least 1 million years to plan.

Rain Man
08-21-2005, 05:14 PM
Ugh.

I you do NOT have a theory, you have a hypothesis.

So you're fine with the rest of it then?

Simplex3
08-21-2005, 05:15 PM
Bringing harm to us takes at least 1 million years to plan.
Maybe the aliens are jacking with our kicking game because Rainman is outting them.

Rain Man
08-21-2005, 05:15 PM
Bringing harm to us takes at least 1 million years to plan.


Along with a very strong understanding of the human brain.

Logical
08-21-2005, 05:16 PM
I have a new potential theory about the afterlife.

As we all know, aliens are learning a lot about the human brain, which they then share with the Republicans, who give the information to medical researchers who publish it in the New England Journal of Medicine. A lot of what the aliens have learned in recent years centers around the fact that our brains are still developing physically after we're born. For example, I read a while back that Japanese grammar is processed in a different part of the brain than English grammar. There appears to be evidence that humans can "reprogram" our brains after birth.

I'm wondering, then, if you believe enough in a certain model of the afterlife - heaven/hell, nothingness, reincarnation, Space Odyssey, etc. - if your brain can actually program itself to provide you with that message as you're dying.

Under this theory, a religious person would see a white light and hear a Charlton Heston-like voice announce an invitation as a big pair of pearly gates swung open. A Viking would see a village full of mead and grog and chicks with body armor. A Hindu would see the inside of a hospital room or rabbit warren or something, with a mother offering a thumbs up. An atheist would just fade to black. Each of these visions would be triggered by the brain acknowledging death, and calling up the memory of what's supposed to happen at that point.

What do you think?

P.S. I realize that this theory has nothing to do with what REALLY happens upon death. It's what the brain tells you SHOULD happen.That actually sounds eminently possible. I am impressed Kevin is doing some deep thinking in his typical odd way.:thumb:

DJay23
08-21-2005, 05:17 PM
So you're fine with the rest of it then?
Yes the rest is interesting, and I'd be curious to see the results of research on the issue.

Logical
08-21-2005, 05:21 PM
Someone should start a poll on Kevin's hypothesis. :hmmm: I wonder who is qualified to do that?

Rain Man
08-21-2005, 05:21 PM
Yes the rest is interesting, and I'd be curious to see the results of research on the issue.

To be honest, I'm having a little trouble with the experiment design.

Rain Man
08-21-2005, 05:23 PM
Someone should start a poll on Kevin's hypothesis. :hmmm: I wonder who is qualified to do that?

You mean a poll on whether it's feasible or not? Or a poll on something else?

Logical
08-21-2005, 05:24 PM
You mean a poll on whether it's feasible or not? Or a poll on something else?Feasibility question?

DJay23
08-21-2005, 05:24 PM
To be honest, I'm having a little trouble with the experiment design.
What do you have so far?

Logical
08-21-2005, 05:32 PM
To be honest, I'm having a little trouble with the experiment design.

The movie Flatliners has an excellent model for your experiment design.;) Volunteers is a different problem, perhaps you can offer them free drugs.

Rain Man
08-21-2005, 05:33 PM
What do you have so far?

Step 1. Write down your beliefs.
Step 2. Die.
Step 3. Report whether you saw an image of your beliefs as you died.

DJay23
08-21-2005, 05:38 PM
Step 1. Write down your beliefs.
Step 2. Die.
Step 3. Report whether you saw an image of your beliefs as you died.
you could monitor brain activity and compare it to brain activity during times of religious thought.

Of course the results of the brain scans would be speculative as to what mental images/thoughts were being processed during death.

Rain Man
08-21-2005, 05:41 PM
you could monitor brain activity and compare it to brain activity during times of religious thought.

Of course the results of the brain scans would be speculative as to what mental images/thoughts were being processed during death.

That's a good start. Perhaps you record someone's brain waves as you ask them to describe the afterlife. Then you compare it to the moments immediately preceding death.

Of course, the problem is that there might be a lot of other noise in the system at that point.

DJay23
08-21-2005, 05:51 PM
That's a good start. Perhaps you record someone's brain waves as you ask them to describe the afterlife. Then you compare it to the moments immediately preceding death.

Of course, the problem is that there might be a lot of other noise in the system at that point.
Right. I would stay away from asking them anything. I'd stick with more objective data like brain scans. I guess if you asked them what they're thinking, they've probably got more pressing matters on their minds.

stevieray
08-21-2005, 05:54 PM
Wrong forum, you need people who pass of fopinion as fact everyday.

onescrewleftuntwisted
08-21-2005, 06:00 PM
I bet all the chicks in hell are hot.


Just to be safe, I'm going to start fervently believing that the afterlife is a big supermodel nudist resort with barbecue and 80-inch TVs that pick up all the Chiefs games. Oh, and a really cheap Ann Taylor outlet for my wife.


i sure as hell hope they all are

4th and Long
08-21-2005, 06:07 PM
Sometimes I think Kevin is a certified genius. Other times he make me laugh so hard I almost cry. Then there are those rare times that I think he either had one too many beers or suffered some sort of brain aneurysm and he belongs in a straight jacket. Guess which one I'm thinking fits this situation at the moment?
http://www.info4pensioners.co.uk/images/straight_jacket_front.jpg

Count Alex's Losses
08-21-2005, 06:09 PM
Sometimes I think Kevin is a certified genius. Other times he make me laugh so hard I almost cry. Then there are those rare times that I think he either had one too many beers or suffered some sort of brain aneurysm and he belongs in a straight jacket. Guess which one I'm thinking fits this situation at the moment?
http://www.info4pensioners.co.uk/images/straight_jacket_front.jpg

Where can I get one of those Genius Jackets?

4th and Long
08-21-2005, 06:12 PM
Where can I get one of those Genius Jackets?
You have to make a post on the same level Kevin did in order to be a member of the Long Sleeved Jacket Club. It's kinda like winning The Masters and that whole green jacket thing. If you do manage to make a post on that same level, I will send two guys over to your house who will custom fit the jacket to your specified measurements. Looks for them to arrive in an ambulance. :D

luv
08-21-2005, 06:15 PM
Aliens talk to republicans talk to researchers publish articles read by people believe that stuff?

4th and Long
08-21-2005, 06:18 PM
Aliens talk to republicans talk to researchers publish articles read by people believe that stuff?
That made me woozy.

Rain Man
08-21-2005, 06:58 PM
Wrong forum, you need people who pass of fopinion as fact everyday.

I'm pretty sure I'm in the right place.

Rain Man
08-21-2005, 07:00 PM
Guess which one I'm thinking fits this situation at the moment?


Does that come in apricot? I'm trying to stick with my personal color wheel.

4th and Long
08-21-2005, 08:02 PM
Does that come in apricot? I'm trying to stick with my personal color wheel.
I'm told that the medications they will be administering will make everything look apricot to you. :D

BigMeatballDave
08-21-2005, 09:02 PM
You are meddling with powers you cannot possibly imagine.Sounds like something Darth Vader would say...

Count Alex's Losses
08-22-2005, 06:53 AM
Sounds like something Darth Vader would say...

Actually, it's Marcus Brody, except he says "comprehend." I've yet to locate the source of the original quote.

mcan
08-22-2005, 07:22 AM
This can not be a real afterlife. Basically, you're asking "which hallucination is the explanation for the afterlife?". Well, I'm sorry to say, that after a couple of moments of death, all electrical activity stops and you're completely dead. So, even if you did "dream" or "hallucinate" a white pearly gate, it isn't really there, and it'll be gone in a couple minutes. So, it isn't really an "afterlife." The question isn't, "what mental images does the mind project when you know you're dying?" The question is, "Does your soul actually go anywhere after your body dies?"

Tell the republicans to go ask the aliens if they have any scientific data, or philisophical proofs about the soul, and where they think it goes. Also, the argument for relativism is bunk. What you BELIEVE has no bearing on reality. Reality exists independantly of thought, no matter what the quantum physicists say. Just because I BELIEVE the stuff under the sink will give me super powers, or just because I believe the world is flat, or just because I believe that my class actually starts at 2:00 instead of 11:00; does not make it so...

trndobrd
08-22-2005, 07:33 AM
This can not be a real afterlife. Basically, you're asking "which hallucination is the explanation for the afterlife?". Well, I'm sorry to say, that after a couple of moments of death, all electrical activity stops and you're completely dead. So, even if you did "dream" or "hallucinate" a white pearly gate, it isn't really there, and it'll be gone in a couple minutes. So, it isn't really an "afterlife." The question isn't, "what mental images does the mind project when you know you're dying?" The question is, "Does your soul actually go anywhere after your body dies?"

Tell the republicans to go ask the aliens if they have any scientific data, or philisophical proofs about the soul, and where they think it goes. Also, the argument for relativism is bunk. What you BELIEVE has no bearing on reality. Reality exists independantly of thought, no matter what the quantum physicists say. Just because I BELIEVE the stuff under the sink will give me super powers, or just because I believe the world is flat, or just because I believe that my class actually starts at 2:00 instead of 11:00; does not make it so...


Try smoking a big fatty, eating a bag of doritos, stare at the fish tank and reconsider the hypothesis. You might be suprised at the results.

J Diddy
08-22-2005, 07:34 AM
This can not be a real afterlife. Basically, you're asking "which hallucination is the explanation for the afterlife?". Well, I'm sorry to say, that after a couple of moments of death, all electrical activity stops and you're completely dead. So, even if you did "dream" or "hallucinate" a white pearly gate, it isn't really there, and it'll be gone in a couple minutes. So, it isn't really an "afterlife." The question isn't, "what mental images does the mind project when you know you're dying?" The question is, "Does your soul actually go anywhere after your body dies?"

Tell the republicans to go ask the aliens if they have any scientific data, or philisophical proofs about the soul, and where they think it goes. Also, the argument for relativism is bunk. What you BELIEVE has no bearing on reality. Reality exists independantly of thought, no matter what the quantum physicists say. Just because I BELIEVE the stuff under the sink will give me super powers, or just because I believe the world is flat, or just because I believe that my class actually starts at 2:00 instead of 11:00; does not make it so...


I disagree strongly with this theory.

Due to the fact that it is not as much fun as rainman's theory.

jidar1
08-22-2005, 08:15 AM
So as people are dying they see what they expect to see. That's both obvious and very likely.

Rain Man
08-22-2005, 10:05 AM
This can not be a real afterlife. Basically, you're asking "which hallucination is the explanation for the afterlife?". Well, I'm sorry to say, that after a couple of moments of death, all electrical activity stops and you're completely dead. So, even if you did "dream" or "hallucinate" a white pearly gate, it isn't really there, and it'll be gone in a couple minutes. So, it isn't really an "afterlife." The question isn't, "what mental images does the mind project when you know you're dying?" The question is, "Does your soul actually go anywhere after your body dies?"

Tell the republicans to go ask the aliens if they have any scientific data, or philisophical proofs about the soul, and where they think it goes. Also, the argument for relativism is bunk. What you BELIEVE has no bearing on reality. Reality exists independantly of thought, no matter what the quantum physicists say. Just because I BELIEVE the stuff under the sink will give me super powers, or just because I believe the world is flat, or just because I believe that my class actually starts at 2:00 instead of 11:00; does not make it so...

I understand your point, but you're asking a different question. The first question you pose is the question that I'm proposing to answer.

If your brain overrides your senses and shows you a vision of Nirvana or Valhalla right as the electrical activity stops, that's what your earthly consciousness will recognize as your imminent afterlife.

Oh, and the stuff under the sink will indeed give you super powers, but only if ingested in large quantities. It turns out that the esophagus is the only thing that keeps us from flying.

Rausch
08-22-2005, 10:09 AM
I think the afterlife is like social security: sounds nice, but I doubt I'll ever see it...