View Full Version : Earn $100,000 driving across country with toilet bowl on your head

08-22-2005, 01:10 PM
I saw this job ad on Craigslist. Looks like it might be legit. Funny...

Join the Toilet Team today!
Reply to: toiletthenovel@aol.com
Date: 2005-08-13, 8:49AM PDT

Looking for three professional buisnessmen (or women) to drive across the country, in the deceased author's 96 Pontiac Sunfire, with toilet seats on their heads, from September 2005 until August 2006. Job entails dressing professionally and handing out toilet paper to interested residents, visiting rest areas, hospitals and major attractions, in order to tell people about the benefits of reading Toilet: The Novel.

Full Time: 100,000.00 dollar salarly upon completion of an all expense paid road trip that will visit every major city in the U.S. and Canada, not to mention the experience of a lifetime that will 'suck the marrow out of life'.

Part time positions in individual cities: Job will pay 100 dollars, or 20 dollars an hour, for one afternoon's worth of toilet papered work.

Job Requirements:

Bachelor, M.A. preferred, however equivalent autodictat experience with the classics and philosophy can be substituted for a sham degree that is more a privelege of financial position than potential.

A knowledge of Toilet: The Novel is essential, and just as some interviewers would be impressed by a citation of Shakespeare, so too will the interviewer for this position be impressed by a citation from the Intermission, or subsequent Act II, of Toilet: The Novel.

A knowledge of Aristotle's Nichomachean Ethics, Herodotus' Histories, Lucretius' On the Nature of the Universe, the complete works of Horace, Juvenal, Ovid, Cicero and Seneca, as well as an in-depth knowledge of Schopenhauer, Nietzsche, Montaigne, Franz Kafka, Herman Hesse, T.S. Eliot and Existentialism, is required for this position.

Applicants who know the difference between Austria and Australia, will be preferred, as well as applicants who are bi or tri-lingual.

Toilet: The Novel is an Equal Opportunity Employer, so if you, by any means, feel yourself worthless in regards to the qualifications, but feel you have the passion and potential for this job, as well as a desire to live, learn and experience the full range of life, then by all means:

Send your cover letter and resume to toiletthenovel@aol.com

"es sind Schatten, die vor einem blindeten Spiegel umarmen."

Applicants considered for the job will be contacted in late August for the position.

For more info on the job visit:

Ultra Peanut
08-22-2005, 02:05 PM
I want that big salarly.

08-22-2005, 02:10 PM

Stop, Chiefs
08-22-2005, 02:11 PM
I'd totally be down for that, but I'd get lost. They'd fire me after a week.

08-22-2005, 02:12 PM
I've pretty much been driving around with a toilet on my head for a decade anyway. Might as well get paid for it...

08-22-2005, 02:12 PM

08-22-2005, 02:19 PM
Nice pic-lol your HIRED!!!

08-22-2005, 02:24 PM
Sounds like a pretty crappy job, but the pay is nice...

Rain Man
08-22-2005, 09:55 PM
I'm interested in this position. I think I could do a good job.

08-22-2005, 10:05 PM
I'm changing my name to John...Will that help??

08-23-2005, 12:50 AM
Who the **** would do that for 100k?

08-23-2005, 12:50 AM
I'm changing my name to John...Will that help??
Yeah, Taco Johns team is in the shitter every year.

08-23-2005, 01:04 AM
I'm changing my name to John...Will that help??

08-23-2005, 07:12 AM
100K Depends on the expenses arrangement.