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gblowfish
09-12-2005, 09:33 AM
Here's the advanced peek at the Doggity Report. This'll be posted later tonight on http://www.georgeblowfish.com.

The Doggity Chiefs Report

Week 1 - 2005

Chiefs vs Propjobs from “The Head” – Kansas City, MO.

Kansas City – 27; New York – 7

From my buddy Gary’s seats – row 4, 20 yardline, at The Head. As always, you can find the Doggity Reports from this and previous years at www.georgeblowfish.com! And visit “Radio Blowfish”- Where the music of your misspent youth meets the music of your kids’ misspent youth! If you know others who might want to get this report in the ‘junk’ folder of their e-mail inbox – send me their addresses so we can add them to the rapidly expanding number of people who have nothing better to do than read the Doggity Report each week. Remember our privacy policy - “We don’t sell email addresses to people who pretend to be eBay.”

Overview – On a crystal clear, 90-degree afternoon on the plains, we had a lovely moment of silence, punctuated by a few drunks hooting, to honor the victims of 9/11. Jessica Simpson showed her cleavage while chortling “America the Beautiful” in a grating vocal tone reminiscent of Minnie Mouse impersonating Mahalia Jackson. Followed by a really big flag and a flyover by four A-10 “Warthog” fighter jets sucking down your tax dollars at ten gallons a minute @ three bucks a gallon. Then a moment of silence for recently departed Chiefs Hall-of-Fame coach, Hank Stram and punter Jerrell Wilson, punctuated by a few drunks yelling, “This sucks!” Elegant. A guy just to our right in front of us held up a large sign with the numbers “56” and “27” that read, “We Love Our Johnsons!” TMI – thanks. As for the game, it would be difficult for KC to have started the 2005 campaign any better or New York any worse. As lopsided as the score was, the game wasn’t nearly that close. But for the Jets’ scrubs throwing a meaningless TD with 29 seconds on the game clock, it would have the first shutout by the Chiefs in the Vermeil reign. Green was picked off in the endzone, Tynes missed a chipshot fieldgoal and the refs badly blew a call on Tony Gonzales that stopped a drive. Otherwise it could have been much uglier. While this all speaks well of the Chiefs’ performance, in all fairness, the Jets failed to make the plane, apparently, and dressed a bunch of guys from a homeless shelter. The guy they had wearing #28 got 57 rushing yards, averaging 2.5 yards per carry. Not something the real Curtis Martin would have ever been caught doing. Six turnovers, four bad snaps, a blocked fieldgoal, seven dropped passes, including two where there was no defender in the same time zone – how could anyone expect me to believe that this is the same New York team that was kept out of the AFC championship game by a fieldgoal just eight months ago? Not buying it. I’m sticking to the homeless shelter story.

Offense – The game starts Dante returning the opening kick to the Kansas City 25, where the offense took over, first and goal. First play, Priest Holmes runs left for 5 yards. Second and goal from the KC 30, Priest Holmes runs left for 35 yards. Third and goal from the Jets’ 35, Larry Johnson runs left for 35 yards – Touchdown! That’s how the first three plays went. Three handoffs over Willie Roaf and Brian Waters, with Tony Richardson and Jason Dunn lead blocking. Priest’s slot-car-like changes of direction followed by the blazing speed and incredible power of Larry Johnson – who frankly may be the best running back in the NFL right now. The second offensive possession was more normal with a mix of passes and runs and getting first downs and all that boring stuff. Nothing like the “Arena League” first drive. Same result, however. This time it was Priest who ran left into the endzone. Replay showed he was stopped inches short, but Herm Edwards didn’t throw the red hanky, so the play stands. It would have been just a formality anyway. The Jets’ weren’t going to stop Priest from getting to paydirt from the one-eyelash-line on the next play, even if it had been challenged. The only bad things this offense did that I saw were Trent’s obligatory interception in the endzone, and the rash of key injuries. The offense had two very important starters go down, and both are likely to be out for some time. Willie Roaf pulled a hammy (which, on that guy is more like a whole hog) on the third drive. The offense was not nearly as sharp after he went out. T-Rich had a knee injury when he was rolled up on a sideline play. Those are two keys for this team’s running game. Fortunately, Jordon Black did a respectable job in run blocking, as did Richardson’s replacement, Ronnie Cruz. Unfortunately, Jordon Black and Chris Bober are not the guys Trent wants in there on passing downs. They both need help in pass blocking. The passing wealth was spread around, with Gonzo, Hall, Parker, Horn, Kennison, Holmes and Cruz all catching passes. But the real deal here was the coming out party of Larry Johnson. His second touchdown said it all. He had three yards to go to the goal line and the run was up the gut. The hole was completely filled by LB Jonathan Vilma and S Erik Coleman, Johnson put one shoulder on each of them and drove them backward into the endzone, planting Coleman unceremoniously on his keister.

Defense – They were not perfect, but they were a lot closer to it than anyone, even my buddy Gary thought they would be. Gary said he was not yet ready to “drink the kool-aid” of the Chiefs apologists who all said this defense would be in top half of the league. By the time the two minute warning was announced, a giant red pitcher with a smiley face was sitting in the seat next to Gary. They still have some issues in pass coverage, and having the only good corner on the active roster; Patrick Surtain out most of the game didn’t help. Surtain made a beautiful pick of a pass by the homeless guy wearing Chad Pennington’s shirt. He ran it back to the 22 yard line, right in front of our seats, when one of the other guys from the shelter put a knee in the back of his head, and knocked him out. The guy who hit him then lifted his wallet, watch and car keys and ran up the tunnel. Surtain lay on the field like a limp rag, loosely cradling the ball. But after some smelling salts and good cob-web dusting, he walked off and went downstairs for evaluation. Also carted off was DT Ryan Sims with a foot injury. He started the game strong, but his replacement, John Browning more than made up for it. Vermeil says that when healthy, Browning is the best D-lineman on this squad. I noticed that Gun threw in several plays in a 3-4 – Steelers’/Ravens-style set. This took advantage of the glut of outstanding linebackers (I just LOVE saying that) and the thinning ranks of linemen. Rookie Derrick Johnson was picked on by the Jets all day, running bootlegs, and misdirections to try and catch the puppy out of position. A few times they were successful. But the kid learns fast, finishing the day with 9 tackles, a sack and a forced fumble. Pretty solid first day on the job. The run defense in the 3-4 was overwhelming. The guy from the shelter in Martin’s shirt was a total non-factor – the real Curtis Martin was the best running back in the league last year. Many a pundit has said that with KC’s offense, if they could just get that D up to mid-pack, they are going to be difficult to stop. The D will be better than mid-pack.

Special Teams – Same-ol’ – Dr. Jekyll and Mr Tynes was still sporadic, shanking a chipshot fieldgoal and dropping a couple of kickoffs up near the 10. Colquitt has yet to have a punt returned. Every one of his punts resulted in a fair catch – and all with respectable distance. That works. Dante never really got untracked, but he’ll get his at some point. He is still someone that other teams have to plan for. The coverage units did a little better, but are still probably the weak link on this football team right now.

The AFC West –

KC Chiefs – An near perfect start. Let’s see what this looks like in December.

Denver Donkeys – OK – DOES ANYONE YET BELIEVE ME? Jake is a Joke and Coach Ratbert is done. This is not a good football team. As I predicted in the preseason report – their running game is the weakest link.

East Bay Convicts – Bad. Really bad. Good running back. Good receiver. Bad QB, an O-line that wobbles around like the plastic players on an electric-football table, and a weak-sister defense. Besides, they’re coached by Norv Turner. Nuff said.

San Diego Bolts – I’m sure they will be good. They have too much young talent. But they got beat at home by a depleted Cowboy team that isn’t likely to be going anywhere this year. Rough start for Marty’s boys.

Throw Him A Bone Award –

The bone this week is a no brainer. This was Larry Johnson’s game. Only 10 touches netted 110 yards and two TDs. Not bad. And when I toss this bone to him, you’d be well advised to stay out of his way.

The Doggity Dog –

The guy who gets to be on the chain in the yard all week is kicker Lawrence “Lin Elliot” Tynes. You can’t have a kicker in the NFL who misses 32-yard fieldgoals at home in nice weather. Either he corrects his swing or he needs to buy a ticket back to Scotland.

Ms. Priscilla’s Recipe Box’s “Tailgate Recipe of the Week” -

A fan-favorite segment from the past two years is the tailgate recipe of the week – a feature suggested by Dr. Bob’s better half before the start of the 2003 season. In her honor, it will bear her name this season.

This shrimp recipe is easy, and great for warm weather games. It comes from a fan of the Doggity Report living on Long Island, NY. All you need is a camping stove, large pot, and:

2 pounds of large shrimp (don't shell them)
Six-pack of beer (we prefer a dark ale)
1 pound kielbasa sausage
2 or 3 bay leaves
tbsp coriander seeds
salt and pepper

The night before the game...
slice the kielbasa into one inch slices. Wash the shrimp in cold water.

In the parking lot...
In a large pot, bring to a boil the beer, sausage, bay leaves, coriander seeds, salt, and pepper. Lower the heat and simmer for about ten minutes. Dump in the shrimp and bring back to a boil. Boil for about two minutes (shrimp should turn pink.).

We like to put the shrimp on ice and serve it cold, although it is also tasty hot. Although any bottled cocktail sauce will do, we prefer to make ours at home. Just mix together...

2/3 cup ketchup
1/4 cup horseradish
2 tbsp hot pepper sauce (less, if preferred)
1 tbsp fresh lime juice

Send your recipes to the Dog by fax at 913-831-1307.

Next week –

Sunday Night Football from the Black Hole when the 1-0 Chiefs take on the flagging 0-1 Convicts

Your faithful scribe,

Mr. Doggity

jynni
09-12-2005, 09:38 AM
Dr. Jekyll and Mr Tynes
ROFL ROFL ROFL

Ari Chi3fs
09-12-2005, 09:45 AM
Actually a fan yelled "JETS SUCK", not This sucks... good read though, my friend.

redbrian
09-12-2005, 10:00 AM
"a flyover by four A-10 “Warthog” fighter jets sucking down your tax dollars at ten gallons a minute @ three bucks a gallon."

Just to nit-pick, the A-10 as all jets do burns JP-4 fuel.

The fuel allotment for each wing is procured on an anual bases, with the military fiscal year ending this month.


Contractor Fairchild Republic Co.

Power Plant Two General Electric TF34-GE-100 turbofans

Thrust 9,065 pounds each engine

Length 53 feet, 4 inches (16.16 meters)

Height 14 feet, 8 inches (4.42 meters)

Wingspan 57 feet, 6 inches (17.42 meters)

Speed 420 miles per hour (Mach 0.56)

Ceiling 45,000 feet (13,636 meters)

Maximum Takeoff Weight 51,000 pounds (22,950 kilograms)

Range 800 miles (695 nautical miles)

Fuel Capacity 10,700lbs


They are also on a use it or lose it bases, so if they don't burn it they don't get it next year.

I'll pay extra tax's anyday to have the hog's fly over Arrowhead every home game.

Radar Chief
09-12-2005, 10:11 AM
Throw Him A Bone Award –

The bone this week is a no brainer. This was Larry Johnson’s game. Only 10 touches netted 110 yards and two TDs. Not bad. And when I toss this bone to him, you’d be well advised to stay out of his way.

Wow! I didn’t even realize he only got 10 touches. :eek:

Radar Chief
09-12-2005, 10:14 AM
"a flyover by four A-10 “Warthog” fighter jets sucking down your tax dollars at ten gallons a minute @ three bucks a gallon."

Just to nit-pick, the A-10 as all jets do burns JP-4 fuel.

The fuel allotment for each wing is procured on an anual bases, with the military fiscal year ending this month.


Contractor Fairchild Republic Co.

Power Plant Two General Electric TF34-GE-100 turbofans

Thrust 9,065 pounds each engine

Length 53 feet, 4 inches (16.16 meters)

Height 14 feet, 8 inches (4.42 meters)

Wingspan 57 feet, 6 inches (17.42 meters)

Speed 420 miles per hour (Mach 0.56)

Ceiling 45,000 feet (13,636 meters)

Maximum Takeoff Weight 51,000 pounds (22,950 kilograms)

Range 800 miles (695 nautical miles)

Fuel Capacity 10,700lbs


They are also on a use it or lose it bases, so if they don't burn it they don't get it next year.

I'll pay extra tax's anyday to have the hog's fly over Arrowhead every home game.

While we’re pick’n nits, an A-10 isn’t a “fighter jet” it’s an “attack jet” used for close air support of troops, hence the “A” in “A-10”.

Frazod
09-12-2005, 10:15 AM
A guy just to our right in front of us held up a large sign with the numbers “56” and “27” that read, “We Love Our Johnsons!”


:LOL:

Brilliant!

gblowfish
09-12-2005, 12:07 PM
Actually a fan yelled "JETS SUCK", not This sucks... good read though, my friend.It was hard to tell what the guy said for sure from where we were. Too bad they couldn't shut up for ten seconds to honor Jerrell Wilson and Hank Stram.

gblowfish
09-12-2005, 12:37 PM
"a flyover by four A-10 “Warthog” fighter jets sucking down your tax dollars at ten gallons a minute @ three bucks a gallon."

Just to nit-pick, the A-10 as all jets do burns JP-4 fuel.

The fuel allotment for each wing is procured on an anual bases, with the military fiscal year ending this month.


Contractor Fairchild Republic Co.

Power Plant Two General Electric TF34-GE-100 turbofans

Thrust 9,065 pounds each engine

Length 53 feet, 4 inches (16.16 meters)

Height 14 feet, 8 inches (4.42 meters)

Wingspan 57 feet, 6 inches (17.42 meters)

Speed 420 miles per hour (Mach 0.56)

Ceiling 45,000 feet (13,636 meters)

Maximum Takeoff Weight 51,000 pounds (22,950 kilograms)

Range 800 miles (695 nautical miles)

Fuel Capacity 10,700lbs


They are also on a use it or lose it bases, so if they don't burn it they don't get it next year.

I'll pay extra tax's anyday to have the hog's fly over Arrowhead every home game.Sent your comments to Mr. Doggity, and he had this reply:

"Oy vey! It’s a joke, son. I know what they are and what they burn, but chose to make a joke, rather than write a whitepaper on it.

I only inferred by the pricing that I was talking about gasoline. They aren’t even very similar fuels. Gasoline is flammable and Jet fuel is combustible (meaning it has a much higher flashpoint). Jet fuel is nearly identical in composition to kerosene, not gasoline.

By the way, not “all jets” burn JP-4. Air Force JP-4 is called a “wide-cut” fuel or “Jet-B”, and differs from say, commercial aircraft fuels, called “Jet-A”, which is essentially filtered pure kerosene. Commercial fuel is similar to the “JP-5” preferred by the Navy for carrier-based aircraft, and JP-8 and JP-8+100 used by many Air Force planes. The Air Force preferred JP-4 for many of its aircraft because it has fewer contaminants, making the engines more efficient, but has a lower flashpoint and higher volatility, making it more dangerous to store and impossible to use at high altitudes and high speeds. Therefore JP-8 and JP-8+100 (with thermal stabilizers) are preferred for most applications. Some ultra-high altitude/high speed aircraft like the old YF-12 and SR-71 (both obsolete) burned JP-7 which has such a high flashpoint; you can put a match out with it. This was ncecessary to keep it from exploding in the wings at high speed and altitude.

I also know that the A-10 Thunderbolt (warthog) is an “attack” aircraft used for close air support, and thus it is often called a “tank killer”. But it is also listed by the Air Force as a fighter jet. The one’s we saw were flown by the 442nd Fighter Wing.

As for the procurement aspect, I did not know that."

Phobia
09-12-2005, 12:44 PM
Awesome. I wanna see a couple flyboys duking it out.

Radar Chief
09-12-2005, 12:58 PM
Sent your comments to Mr. Doggity, and he had this reply:

"Oy vey! It’s a joke, son. I know what they are and what they burn, but chose to make a joke, rather than write a whitepaper on it.

I only inferred by the pricing that I was talking about gasoline. They aren’t even very similar fuels. Gasoline is flammable and Jet fuel is combustible (meaning it has a much higher flashpoint). Jet fuel is nearly identical in composition to kerosene, not gasoline.

By the way, not “all jets” burn JP-4. Air Force JP-4 is called a “wide-cut” fuel or “Jet-B”, and differs from say, commercial aircraft fuels, called “Jet-A”, which is essentially filtered pure kerosene. Commercial fuel is similar to the “JP-5” preferred by the Navy for carrier-based aircraft, and JP-8 and JP-8+100 used by many Air Force planes. The Air Force preferred JP-4 for many of its aircraft because it has fewer contaminants, making the engines more efficient, but has a lower flashpoint and higher volatility, making it more dangerous to store and impossible to use at high altitudes and high speeds. Therefore JP-8 and JP-8+100 (with thermal stabilizers) are preferred for most applications. Some ultra-high altitude/high speed aircraft like the old YF-12 and SR-71 (both obsolete) burned JP-7 which has such a high flashpoint; you can put a match out with it. This was ncecessary to keep it from exploding in the wings at high speed and altitude.

I also know that the A-10 Thunderbolt (warthog) is an “attack” aircraft used for close air support, and thus it is often called a “tank killer”. But it is also listed by the Air Force as a fighter jet. The one’s we saw were flown by the 442nd Fighter Wing.

As for the procurement aspect, I did not know that."

Ah, see I didn’t know that. Guess we both learned something. :thumb: