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4th and Long
09-25-2005, 08:12 PM
By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we could all use more calm in our lives.

Dr. Phil proclaimed that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my place to see things I started and hadn't finished; and before I left this morning I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Jack Daniels, a bottle of Stoli, 3 beers, a package of Oreos, a stale bag of chips, the remainder of a Vicodin prescription, 1/2 gallon of expired milk, the rest of the cheesecake, two pints of ice cream, some saltines and a box of chocolates.

And you have no idea how fugging good I feel!

milkman
09-25-2005, 08:14 PM
I can see how finishing that half gallon of expired milk would make you feel good.

4th and Long
09-25-2005, 08:16 PM
I can see how finishing that half gallon of expired milk would make you feel good.
Indeed. I needed something to wash those Oreos down with. It really hit the spot.

go bowe
09-25-2005, 08:25 PM
milk is still good when it's expired...

but when it starts turning green and pours out of the jug with the consistency of cow mucus in the winter...

well, that's where i draw the line... :p :p :p

4th and Long
09-25-2005, 08:28 PM
milk is still good when it's expired...

but when it starts turning green and pours out of the jug with the consistency of cow mucus in the winter...

well, that's where i draw the line... :p :p :p
It hadn't turned that bad yet. I should have saved you a glass. :p :p :p

DJay23
09-25-2005, 08:31 PM
The day I do ANYTHING Dr. Phil says, is the day I follow said ANYTHING with a bullet to the temple.

4th and Long
09-25-2005, 08:34 PM
The day I do ANYTHING Dr. Phil says, is the day I follow said ANYTHING with a bullet to the temple.
I only own a WWI German sniper rifle. Its too long to hold to my head and still reach the trigger.

Simplex3
09-25-2005, 08:44 PM
I only own a WWI German sniper rifle. Its too long to hold to my head and still reach the trigger.
Kurt Kobain could tell you how to do it. :shrug:


PS, if I'd eaten all of that my insides would be anything BUT at peace.

4th and Long
09-25-2005, 08:48 PM
Kurt Kobain could tell you how to do it. :shrug:
I believe the proper sentence you were looking for was, "Kurt Kobain could have told you how to do it." :p

Simplex3
09-25-2005, 08:50 PM
I believe the proper sentence you were looking for was, "Kurt Kobain could have told you how to do it." :p
You just need to call Jennifer Love Hewitt. She can talk to him. Then send her over to my place, I'd like to give her a tounge lashing.

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/ghost_whisperer/images/pt_ghost_whisperer_flash_holder.jpg

4th and Long
09-25-2005, 08:52 PM
You just need to call Jennifer Love Hewitt. She can talk to him. Then send her over to my place, I'd like to give her a tounge lashing.
ROFL

Halfcan
09-25-2005, 08:53 PM
lol, I am glad you found the peace you deserve. I am still looking for a piece.

4th and Long
09-25-2005, 08:58 PM
I am still looking for a piece.
:spock:

That better had not been directed at me, bub. :shake:

:p :p :p

Simplex3
09-25-2005, 08:59 PM
:spock:

That better had not been directed at me, bub. :shake:

:p :p :p
NTTAWWT

Halfcan
09-25-2005, 09:01 PM
lol no.

blueballs
12-01-2007, 03:05 PM
I like my cheesecake baked
99% of the time it's the whip and eat variety

Stewie
12-01-2007, 03:07 PM
I like my cheesecake baked
99% of the time it's the whip and eat variety

I think you meant beefcake.

kstater
12-01-2007, 03:09 PM
WTF did you bump this for?

MichaelH
12-01-2007, 03:27 PM
A Percoset and a 12 pack do it for me.