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Jenson71
10-17-2005, 09:24 PM
Hi. I've fallen in love in the past few months. And I've been thinking about marriage. I also read beer me's thread about his ex-wife and I got to thinking about that.

So here's a poll.

Skip Towne
10-17-2005, 09:28 PM
At 17? Too young.

Dartgod
10-17-2005, 09:28 PM
How old are you?

keg in kc
10-17-2005, 09:28 PM
Married. Divorced. Never in love.

Nothing wrong with marriage, but I think too many people do it too young, without knowing what they're really getting into.

Saulbadguy
10-17-2005, 09:29 PM
I'm en route to being married.

Count Alex's Wins
10-17-2005, 09:33 PM
Jesus Christ you dipshit. You're 17.

Coach
10-17-2005, 09:33 PM
Married. Divorced. Never in love.

Nothing wrong with marriage, but I think too many people do it too young, without knowing what they're really getting into.

Yeah, I remember watching a TV show where they showed a graphic of something like:

Ages 18-21, the divorce rate was higher than ages 22+

cdcox
10-17-2005, 09:34 PM
The Mrs. and I got married at 21. We were both mature, able to support ourselves financially, had finished our UG degrees, and had dated 4 years. It's worked out for us, but I wouldn't recommend getting married any younger. Even to marry at 21, you need to have all your ducks in a row. Also we waited to have kids until our late 20's.

I'm a big proponent of marriage, but it is nothing to rush into.

Count Alex's Wins
10-17-2005, 09:34 PM
I chose "I'm a different option," because I'm not compatible with the human species.

jspchief
10-17-2005, 09:34 PM
Take your time.

It takes a long time to find the one that is truly worthy of a life long commitment, and it also takes a long time to reach a level when you're truly ready to make that commitment.


Wait until after college at the very least.

keg in kc
10-17-2005, 09:36 PM
I'd probably say most people should wait until their late 20's or early 30's.

Jenson71
10-17-2005, 09:36 PM
I don't plan on getting married right now. I mean, shoot, that'd be stupid, I know that. I couldn't even support her. With my job right now, I couldn't even support myself.

But I'm thinking after college...

keg in kc
10-17-2005, 09:40 PM
It's as much about supporting each othen than it is one supporting the other, and it gets more that way every year. Single job homes aren't as feasible anymore unless you're wealthy. It's an expensive world we live in.

Katipan
10-17-2005, 09:43 PM
If I was president emperor world dictator, i would never let men get married before 30.

For the really mature bright ones, maybe late 20s.

keg in kc
10-17-2005, 09:43 PM
Women are no better than men. We're equally clueless before 30.

Katipan
10-17-2005, 09:47 PM
I suppose that would depend on your environment.

Mr. Kotter
10-17-2005, 09:48 PM
I chose "I'm a different option," because I'm not compatible with the human species.

Self-awareness is important. :hmmm:

Mr. Kotter
10-17-2005, 09:49 PM
If I was president emperor world dictator, i would never let men get married before 30.

For the really mature bright ones, maybe late 20s.

As a male, I agree with her.

keg in kc
10-17-2005, 09:50 PM
I suppose that would depend on your environment.It's an individual thing. I don't know if I'll have a clue by 40.

DTLB58
10-17-2005, 09:54 PM
Hi. I've fallen in love in the past few months. And I've been thinking about marriage. I also read beer me's thread about his ex-wife and I got to thinking about that.

So here's a poll.

Marriage counselors tell us, if you have not agreed on 4 major areas prior to marriage and how they are to work in every area you are not in agreement on, increases your chance for divorce. Religion, In-Laws, kids (whether to have them and how to raise them) and MONEY!

52% of marriages today end in divorce. The #1 reason for divorce today is money fights and money problems.

I have been married 16 years, here's my thoughts.

We have always agreed on the religion issue, so no problem there.

In-Laws have been an issue from time to time but never something that would ruin our marriage. Just remember, NEVER talk about in-laws in the bedroom.

Two great kids here, but yea there are several areas regarding kids that could create big arguments.

Money, Up until a year ago we were normal americans. Lots of debt and lots of fights about money. There were several times when I thought it could end because of MONEY! Thankfully, with in the last year we have finally turned it around as we are both on the same page now regarding money we have paid off almost all of our debt and things couldn't be better. But I will NEVER forget the stress debt and bills can put on a marriage. Don't underestimate this when considering your partner.

Good Luck!

keg in kc
10-17-2005, 10:00 PM
I think the most important aspect of any relationship is communication. Any other problem that crops up can usually be traced back to a breakdown there.

Dinny Blues
10-17-2005, 10:07 PM
The same thing that makes you laugh.

Is gonna make you cry.

Dinny

Rain Man
10-17-2005, 10:11 PM
Rain Man's unsolicited advice.

1. Don't get married until you're 28, and even then, don't do it just because you want to get married.

2. When marrying, pick a spouse that you think would suck the poison out of a snake bite on you no matter where it's at on your body, and even then, ensure that there are some places that she would rather suck than others.

3. Don't introduce the suggestion of a threesome until you've been married for three years, and even then, don't suggest a specific third person.

4. Don't have kids until you've been married for five years, and even then, make sure that you have them with your spouse.

5. Never get so much life insurance that your spouse could retire if you die, and even then, do random food testing once in a while.

1adam1238
10-17-2005, 10:13 PM
I've been married 3 times, so I am not one to give advise on marriage.

Skip Towne
10-17-2005, 10:24 PM
Men shouldn't marry until their 50's. And then only to hot 20 something chicks.

SLAG
10-17-2005, 10:27 PM
Alright Look Man....


Im 21.... I Got Married when I was 18.... BARELY.. 18... Long story... But In short the Answer to your question is:

HELL NO!

I love my Wife... but Damn...

KCWolfman
10-17-2005, 10:34 PM
Men shouldn't marry until their 50's. And then only to hot 20 something chicks.
Or the grandmothers of NFL quarterbacks.

Rain Man
10-17-2005, 10:35 PM
My mother actually got married at 16. That's really hard to believe. She then had her first child at 17. I still had never had a date at 17.

KCWolfman
10-17-2005, 10:36 PM
My mother actually got married at 16. That's really hard to believe. She then had her first child at 17. I still had never had a date at 17.
You should have found a girl like dear old mom.

Skip Towne
10-17-2005, 10:37 PM
Or the grandmothers of NFL quarterbacks.
And then only if they're rich.

Rain Man
10-17-2005, 10:40 PM
You should have found a girl like dear old mom.

I dunno. Mom was jailbait.

Amnorix
10-17-2005, 10:43 PM
Marriage counselors tell us, if you have not agreed on 4 major areas prior to marriage and how they are to work in every area you are not in agreement on, increases your chance for divorce. Religion, In-Laws, kids (whether to have them and how to raise them) and MONEY!

52% of marriages today end in divorce. The #1 reason for divorce today is money fights and money problems.

I have been married 16 years, here's my thoughts.

We have always agreed on the religion issue, so no problem there.

In-Laws have been an issue from time to time but never something that would ruin our marriage. Just remember, NEVER talk about in-laws in the bedroom.

Two great kids here, but yea there are several areas regarding kids that could create big arguments.

Money, Up until a year ago we were normal americans. Lots of debt and lots of fights about money. There were several times when I thought it could end because of MONEY! Thankfully, with in the last year we have finally turned it around as we are both on the same page now regarding money we have paid off almost all of our debt and things couldn't be better. But I will NEVER forget the stress debt and bills can put on a marriage. Don't underestimate this when considering your partner.

Good Luck!
I'd definitely agree with all this, both in terms of my own marriage and what we hear from our friends and relatives. Being in our mid-30s, we know alot of people who have been married anywhere from about 2-15 years that we hang out with socially, and everybody does sorta seem to have the same issues.

My wife and I are very lucky -- we agree on many things relating to money and child rearing, etc., so we get along really well. Some of our friends, unfortunately, aren't so lucky.

Heck, we know people pulling down 6 figures (combined salary, and remember to adjust for Boston standard of living) who have serious marital problems because their spending habits are fundamentally incompatible. She always wants some new-fangled purse or whatever, and he's a "saver". Or "he always wants the latest video game / new car / electronic doo-dad, and she wants to save for a house". Over and over and over again do we hear about it...

And kids are amazingly stressful on a marriage. Whenever I hear stories or (more usually) see a movie or read a book or whatever about a couple that decides to have kids in order to "bring them closer together' or save a marriage, I shake my head in utter amazement. If a marriage isn't strong to begin with, bet your ass that having a kid will seal the deal and finish it for certain. In many ways, they're stress-inducing monsters. :)

SLAG
10-17-2005, 10:46 PM
......bet your ass that having a kid will seal the deal and finish it for certain. In many ways, they're stress-inducing monsters. :)


AMEN BROTHER!
:toast: :clap:

KCWolfman
10-17-2005, 10:58 PM
I dunno. Mom was jailbait.
But if you miss the Enchantment Under the Sea dance, bad things will happen. I bet you don't even remember your older brother anymore.

Rain Man
10-17-2005, 11:01 PM
But if you miss the Enchantment Under the Sea dance, bad things will happen. I bet you don't even remember your older brother anymore.


If I get a chance to do a guitar solo, I think I'll go with something by Sid Vicious.

Frazod
10-17-2005, 11:04 PM
DO NOT MARRY YOUR HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART. PERIOD.

I should go from high school to high school telling kids not to do this. :shake:

ENDelt260
10-17-2005, 11:07 PM
DO NOT MARRY YOUR HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART. PERIOD.

Rosey and I have gotten along great for years.

Iowanian
10-17-2005, 11:07 PM
Well III........Its almost like we've discussed this before....You're t hinking with your pecker, and you more than likely won't be able to remember her last name in 10 years.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=110519&page=1

KC Jones
10-17-2005, 11:40 PM
Been married 9 years now and can't imagine it going south. We married at 25 which is a bit early in my honest opinion but I think we were lucky in that it turns out we agree on most everything - religion, extended family, child rearing, etc. Our marriage started it out with some heavy credit card debt and student loans but were in the black now on everything but the house.

Coach
10-17-2005, 11:43 PM
Well III........Its almost like we've discussed this before....You're t hinking with your pecker, and you more than likely won't be able to remember her last name in 10 years.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=110519&page=1

ROFL

That was a classic thread.

Frazod
10-17-2005, 11:55 PM
Well III........Its almost like we've discussed this before....You're t hinking with your pecker, and you more than likely won't be able to remember her last name in 10 years.

Sure he will. It'll be the name he writes on those child support checks.

Valiant
10-18-2005, 01:55 AM
Aren't you on gochiefs level of dating???


You are still in highschool, right??? true/false
Do not have a real job?? T/F
Have dated less then three people seriously??? T/F
Still live at home??? T/F

If you have answered true on any of these, you need to sit down and get a reality check..

You seriously have some emotional attachment problems if this is happening this early on...

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 02:03 AM
I'm not in high school, but I don't have a "real job" and I've dated less than three people seriously.

Odd, that.

luv
10-18-2005, 02:05 AM
Aren't you on gochiefs level of dating???


You are still in highschool, right??? true/false
Do not have a real job?? T/F
Have dated less then three people seriously??? T/F
Still live at home??? T/F

If you have answered true on any of these, you need to sit down and get a reality check..

You seriously have some emotional attachment problems if this is happening this early on...
I have dated less than three people seriously. However, I am ten years out of high school, I have a real job that pays for real bills, and I live on my own. I don't think it's fair to say I have attachment issues based upon one criteria.

Miles
10-18-2005, 02:06 AM
Couldnt imagine getting married before college. Would completly kill normal college life and quite a lot can change while your there.

Most of my married friends are doing alright after dating for a few years in college and cant think of one that got married before 22.

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 02:09 AM
I dated my ex-wife for 5 years in college and grad school. Our marriage lasted 2. Although it was a matter of days (literally) before she was unfaithful, so it never really got off the ground.

I think under my own criteria, I probably shouldn't even think about marriage again until I'm at least 35. I don't think I'm mature enough now, at almost 32.

Count Alex's Wins
10-18-2005, 02:11 AM
Yikes. I can't believe anyone would cheat on their spouse only days after the ceremony. That's just awful.

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 02:13 AM
Not just days, but the day after we got back from the honeymoon.

Straight, No Chaser
10-18-2005, 02:43 AM
Hi. I've fallen in love in the past few months. And I've been thinking about marriage.

Since when does one follow the other, and so quickly? Enjoy it. Marriage changes everything.

"What Would Bob Do?"


--->

chagrin
10-18-2005, 07:27 AM
I don't plan on getting married right now. I mean, shoot, that'd be stupid, I know that. I couldn't even support her. With my job right now, I couldn't even support myself.

But I'm thinking after college...


Dude, fug all this "wait until you have enough money" crap, love is love.

That being "said", maybe you should revisit this after college, or at least your senior year?

bkkcoh
10-18-2005, 07:40 AM
I dated my ex-wife for 5 years in college and grad school. Our marriage lasted 2. Although it was a matter of days (literally) before she was unfaithful, so it never really got off the ground.

I think under my own criteria, I probably shouldn't even think about marriage again until I'm at least 35. I don't think I'm mature enough now, at almost 32.


And she wasn't cheating on you while you were dating her in college? I would find that really hard to believe.

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 11:35 AM
And she wasn't cheating on you while you were dating her in college? I would find that really hard to believe.Where did I say she hadn't? She slept around all 7 years we were together. I just didn't know about any of it at the time. Didn't even start to suspect it until right after we were married. For whatever reason, something 'clicked' that night, and I started to suspect what she was up to. For a long time I chalked it up to paranoia, but eventually the truth came out.

The only reason I mentioned it is because it's one of the more f*cked up things I've ever heard, and things like that do happen. It just so happens (unfortunately) that it happened to me.

kepp
10-18-2005, 11:50 AM
Married. Divorced. Never in love.

Nothing wrong with marriage, but I think too many people do it too young, without knowing what they're really getting into.
Yep...that's what happened to my first marriage. Too young. You (Jenson71) would be well-advised to wait until your mid-to-late 20's.

Predarat
10-18-2005, 11:53 AM
For the really mature bright ones, maybe late 20s.
But if they were bright they wouldnt want to get married anyways, so you wouldnt have to worry about that.

ferrarispider95
10-18-2005, 11:57 AM
WTF, are you crazy, why start serving a life sentence so early. Go out and screw around, find the least pyschotic bitch that you can and keep her. Believe me it will take a while to find one that is not crazy, I mean there all crazy, but finding one that wont have a f*cking issue with everything you do.

Dr. Facebook Fever
10-18-2005, 11:58 AM
Hi. I've fallen in love in the past few months. And I've been thinking about marriage. I also read beer me's thread about his ex-wife and I got to thinking about that.


Don't let my bellyaching persued you not to marry someone if you want to. I actually still believe in marriage and figure I'll do it again someday. I'll just do it differently. Whatever you do, just take your time.

Clint in Wichita
10-18-2005, 12:01 PM
Not just days, but the day after we got back from the honeymoon.

Wow. It would be worth a few years in prison to kill 'em.

ferrarispider95
10-18-2005, 12:01 PM
Where did I say she hadn't? She slept around all 7 years we were together. I just didn't know about any of it at the time. Didn't even start to suspect it until right after we were married. For whatever reason, something 'clicked' that night, and I started to suspect what she was up to. For a long time I chalked it up to paranoia, but eventually the truth came out.

The only reason I mentioned it is because it's one of the more f*cked up things I've ever heard, and things like that do happen. It just so happens (unfortunately) that it happened to me.


WTF, it took you 7 years to figure it out, if you have suspicions you need to call CHEATERS they will take care of you man and then you can have a swweet confrontation with the dude laying the pipe to your wife.

Valiant
10-18-2005, 12:01 PM
I have dated less than three people seriously. However, I am ten years out of high school, I have a real job that pays for real bills, and I live on my own. I don't think it's fair to say I have attachment issues based upon one criteria.


Are you a highschool kid, kind of important???

ferrarispider95
10-18-2005, 12:04 PM
Wow. It would be worth a few years in prison to kill 'em.
No sh*t, just plead insanity, go to jail for a few years and bulk up and then get a fine ass bitch when you are out.

luv
10-18-2005, 12:06 PM
Are you a highschool kid, kind of important???

If you have answered true on any of these, you need to sit down and get a reality check..

You seriously have some emotional attachment problems if this is happening this early on...

Ahh yes. I read that last sentence wrong (or just formulated a response after the word "problems"). My bad.

Spicy McHaggis
10-18-2005, 12:10 PM
Marriage is a young man's folly and an old man's comfort.

luv
10-18-2005, 12:13 PM
Marriage is a young man's folly and an old man's comfort.
I would tend to agree with that. However, I have friends who married out of high school and are happy. Others, not so happy. My parents married about 2 years after high school (they were not high school sweethearts). It took them about 10 years before problems started creeping up. They divorced after 20 years. Works for some, and not for others. I guess marriage can be a gamble sometimes.

Calcountry
10-18-2005, 12:13 PM
My mother actually got married at 16. That's really hard to believe. She then had her first child at 17. I still had never had a date at 17.I saw your mother on that TV show "wife swap" last night.

angel
10-18-2005, 12:23 PM
marriage, in my opinion, should not be taken lightly
I am 25 and in no hurry
if I ever get married, it will be forever; I will not divorce
therefore, in order for me to get married to someone, I have to know that it will last. I have to be sure that person will communicate with me and not give up when things are going rough- and they will, they always do
You can ponder marriage at 17 and start to figure out what you want in life, but don't even think of actually doing it until you and the other person are completely sure about it

"Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle-aged, and the mutual dependence of the old."
-John Ciardi

Skip Towne
10-18-2005, 12:23 PM
My mother actually got married at 16. That's really hard to believe. She then had her first child at 17. I still had never had a date at 17.
Heh. My ex's mother got married at 14. Seriously. And she's been married for 50 years.

ferrarispider95
10-18-2005, 12:40 PM
Hi. I've fallen in love in the past few months. And I've been thinking about marriage. I also read beer me's thread about his ex-wife and I got to thinking about that.

So here's a poll.

Are you marrying dude or a chick. I cant tell from your post.

luv
10-18-2005, 12:57 PM
marriage, in my opinion, should not be taken lightly
I am 25 and in no hurry
if I ever get married, it will be forever; I will not divorce
therefore, in order for me to get married to someone, I have to know that it will last. I have to be sure that person will communicate with me and not give up when things are going rough- and they will, they always do
You can ponder marriage at 17 and start to figure out what you want in life, but don't even think of actually doing it until you and the other person are completely sure about it

"Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle-aged, and the mutual dependence of the old."
-John Ciardi
I like the quote.

patteeu
10-18-2005, 01:22 PM
Don't even think about marriage until you've finished college and have worked in the real world for a while. By then, you'll have had a chance to figure yourself out and have a better chance of marrying right the first time. Listen to the people giving you advice about working out sticky issues like religion, kids, and especially money in advance.

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 01:52 PM
WTF, it took you 7 years to figure it out, if you have suspicions you need to call CHEATERS they will take care of you man and then you can have a swweet confrontation with the dude laying the pipe to your wife.I didn't have any suspicions for the first 5 years. Then again, I wasn't in a place where I was noticing much, or would have even cared if I did. When I started taking care of myself, I started to see more.

And I'm not a "confront the dude" kind of guy. I don't have any problem with any guy that f*cked my ex. They weren't the ones married to me. She's the only one who violated my trust. After I knew that, we were pretty much done. That's the only thing (I can think of) that I'll neither forgive nor forget. There's no second chance with cheating.

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 01:56 PM
marriage, in my opinion, should not be taken lightly
I am 25 and in no hurry
if I ever get married, it will be forever; I will not divorce
therefore, in order for me to get married to someone, I have to know that it will last. I have to be sure that person will communicate with me and not give up when things are going rough- and they will, they always do
You can ponder marriage at 17 and start to figure out what you want in life, but don't even think of actually doing it until you and the other person are completely sure about it

"Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle-aged, and the mutual dependence of the old."
-John CiardiSeems about right.

Too many women, too many people I should say, around your age (you know you're old when you say something like that), are desperate for marriage. Probably because society tries to tell you there's something wrong with being single, when the real problem is rushing into something that's wrong for either/both of you because you're afraid to be alone.

htismaqe
10-18-2005, 02:04 PM
I have dated less than three people seriously. However, I am ten years out of high school, I have a real job that pays for real bills, and I live on my own. I don't think it's fair to say I have attachment issues based upon one criteria.

You're in your laste 20's, you're self-sufficient, you have no attachment issues, and you've only dated THREE people?

What, are you ugly? :p

htismaqe
10-18-2005, 02:09 PM
I didn't have any suspicions for the first 5 years. Then again, I wasn't in a place where I was noticing much, or would have even cared if I did. When I started taking care of myself, I started to see more.

And I'm not a "confront the dude" kind of guy. I don't have any problem with any guy that f*cked my ex. They weren't the ones married to me. She's the only one who violated my trust. After I knew that, we were pretty much done. That's the only thing (I can think of) that I'll neither forgive nor forget. There's no second chance with cheating.

When I first met my ex's boyfriend, he flinched every time I moved, like he thought I would hit him.

I finally let him toke off my 3-footer to calm his nerves.

He wasn't a bad guy, she was the one that was ****ed up.

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 02:09 PM
Not everybody's born as hot as you, Parker. Genetics is just against some of us.

htismaqe
10-18-2005, 02:16 PM
Not everybody's born as hot as you, Parker. Genetics is just against some of us.

ROFL

Hot? Hardly. Shakes and Phil can vouch for that.

A little self-confidence goes a long ways when getting dates.

Of course, a fat stash doesn't hurt either. :D

Lzen
10-18-2005, 02:18 PM
Married. Divorced. Never in love.

Nothing wrong with marriage, but I think too many people do it too young, without knowing what they're really getting into.

Yes. That and a lot of people don't take marriage seriously - forget those vows, etc.

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 02:23 PM
Of course, a fat stash doesn't hurt either.I've always found my fat porn stash to be a hinderance to dating.

htismaqe
10-18-2005, 02:29 PM
I've always found my fat porn stash to be a hinderance to dating.

That depends.

If you're looking for a wife, having a bunch of porn is probably not a good thing.

On the other hand, if you're looking for a casual "friendship", girls that like porn are the best kind...

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 02:31 PM
Oh, wait, I misspelled that. I meant pornstache.

My bad.


For some reason, I just can't get myself to do the casual "friendship" thing. I think on some level I still have some isses with the last one.

ZepSinger
10-18-2005, 02:33 PM
I got married for the first time at 39; she was 31. We've been married 10 years and have 3 beautiful little girls, a brand new home, and are very content.

I would've been a lousy husband had I gotten married much before that... still had too many 'rock band' genes floating around in my head. Both heads, actually. ;)

Z

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 02:33 PM
Damn. I've really got to stop procrastinating and get to work.

angel
10-18-2005, 02:36 PM
You're in your laste 20's, you're self-sufficient, you have no attachment issues, and you've only dated THREE people?

What, are you ugly? :p
she's not ugly
it's what is available to us gals that is ugly
all the "good" guys are taken... or hiding somewhere.
I'm guessing they're hiding in Scotland or Australia, which is why I have to go there...

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 02:38 PM
No, it's all the good women who are taken.

Hot? Check. Smart? Check. Nice? Check. Sense of humor? Check. Ring? Damn. Of course.

htismaqe
10-18-2005, 02:45 PM
Oh, wait, I misspelled that. I meant pornstache.

worked just fine for Jake Plummer...

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 02:46 PM
worked just fine for Jake Plummer...I'm sure if I had his bank account, I'd have his playmates.

htismaqe
10-18-2005, 02:47 PM
she's not ugly
it's what is available to us gals that is ugly
all the "good" guys are taken... or hiding somewhere.
I'm guessing they're hiding in Scotland or Australia, which is why I have to go there...

Likely excuse. It's just not easy to find a guy that looks like Brad Pitt, makes more than $200k a year, and will wash your feet whenever you feel like it, right?

Of course, you mentioned looking for men in Scotland or Australia. You must be looking for a sheep herder...

Lzen
10-18-2005, 02:48 PM
all the "good" guys are taken... or hiding somewhere.

Oh......yeah.......ummmm.....sry about that.

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 02:49 PM
I just realized she forgot one: "...or gay".

Lzen
10-18-2005, 02:50 PM
I got married young. My wife was 19 and I was almost 21. We had been dating for over 3 years by that time. Been happily married for 13 years now. Sure, there are always ups and downs but, we get through them together.

angel
10-18-2005, 02:52 PM
I just realized she forgot one: "...or gay".
I don't go for the "gay" guys
too girly
a guy that cares more about his looks than I do, is not the guy for me

I'm not stereotyping

angel
10-18-2005, 02:54 PM
Likely excuse. It's just not easy to find a guy that looks like Brad Pitt, makes more than $200k a year, and will wash your feet whenever you feel like it, right?

Of course, you mentioned looking for men in Scotland or Australia. You must be looking for a sheep herder...
money doesn't matter to me
but the washing feet thing would be nice
and the Brad Pitt-ness...

I just like the accents of Scottish and Australian- I don't really care about sheep

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 02:56 PM
And then you have the other extreme, guys who wear the same clothes for like 10 years, don't wear any kind of cologne or body spray, get all their hair cut off because they don't want to have to do anything but shower and dry it, and shave every 3 or 4 days, if they're so moved, who really don't give a shit about appearance.

Not that I know anybody like that, of course. ROFL

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 02:58 PM
I just like the accents of Scottish and AustralianI can't fault anybody for that. I think my dream woman would be of asian descent with an accent like that.

Sheep are optional.

htismaqe
10-18-2005, 03:02 PM
money doesn't matter to me

They all say that...

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 03:03 PM
They all say that...Yes they do. And some even think they believe it. Well, a few. Very few.

Lzen
10-18-2005, 03:05 PM
They all say that...

Well, there's a difference between being a hard working middle class guy and someone that can't keep a job for more than a few months, lives with his parents, and is still a virgin. But enough about my brother.

angel
10-18-2005, 03:05 PM
They all say that...
my aunt doesn't-- she won't date anyone who doesn't make a lot of money... I wonder why she's 52 and still single...

sure, money is nice to have, but it's not something that should base whether or not you get married to someone
that's going to end it very soon... when he "mysteriously" dies and you hook up with the pool guy...

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 03:07 PM
Well, there's a difference between being a hard working middle class guy and someone that can't keep a job for more than a few months, lives with his parents, and is still a virgin. But enough about my brother.Holy crap! I didn't know I had a brother!

htismaqe
10-18-2005, 03:09 PM
my aunt doesn't-- she won't date anyone who doesn't make a lot of money... I wonder why she's 52 and still single...

sure, money is nice to have, but it's not something that should base whether or not you get married to someone
that's going to end it very soon... when he "mysteriously" dies and you hook up with the pool guy...

I can clean pools. :hmmm:

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 03:11 PM
sure, money is nice to have, but it's not something that should base whether or not you get married to someone that's going to end it very soon... At the risk of putting on a serious face for a minute, don't underestimate the importance of money in a relationship. Not that you should gold dig or anything, but there are few things that can be more stressful for a relationship than financial trouble. Trust me on that...

In all seriousness, that's the one and only reason I'm not in a relationship now. I make a lot of jokes about other stuff, but the truth is that I just don't make enough money for it. I know the kind of trouble that can cause and I'm not going to put somebody through that again. Or myself, for that matter.

The fact is, there's nothing wrong with being aware of money when you're dealing with potential suitors.

Jesus, I sound older and older every post.

angel
10-18-2005, 03:11 PM
I can clean pools. :hmmm:
sure, but do you have a Scottish accent?

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 03:13 PM
sure, but do you have a Scottish accent?He does a great Fat Bastard. Doesn't need a suit or anything, either.

htismaqe
10-18-2005, 03:13 PM
sure, but do you have a Scottish accent?

I do a mean Sean Connery.

"I'll take The Rapists for 600, Alex."

htismaqe
10-18-2005, 03:15 PM
At the risk of putting on a serious face for a minute, don't underestimate the importance of money in a relationship. Not that you should gold dig or anything, but there are few things that can be more stressful for a relationship than financial trouble. Trust me on that...

In all seriousness, that's the one and only reason I'm not in a relationship now. I make a lot of jokes about other stuff, but the truth is that I just don't make enough money for it. I know the kind of trouble that can cause and I'm not going to put somebody through that again. Or myself, for that matter.

The fact is, there's nothing wrong with being aware of money when you're dealing with potential suitors.

Jesus, I sound older and older every post.

I always get a kick out of money talk. My ex turned out to be extremely materialistic after we married and she eventually left this lowly Internet support "geek" for a New York stock broker.

Of course, I "geeked" my way into a 6-figure salary while her broker lost his job and they ended up moving in with her parents here in Iowa to support their offspring...

angel
10-18-2005, 03:16 PM
At the risk of putting on a serious face for a minute, don't underestimate the importance of money in a relationship. Not that you should gold dig or anything, but there are few things that can be more stressful for a relationship than financial trouble. Trust me on that...

In all seriousness, that's the one and only reason I'm not in a relationship now. I make a lot of jokes about other stuff, but the truth is that I just don't make enough money for it. I know the kind of trouble that can cause and I'm not going to put somebody through that again. Or myself, for that matter.
it is very sad and true that money is the cause of many divorces
I'm not trying to say that money doesn't matter to me, but it shouldn't be the basis of who you pick to marry
True, you don't want to get married to the guy who is lazy and has no ambition, but that's also part of his personality, and he isn't the type of person I'm going to choose to marry- even if he's Brad Pitt hot- looks fade
and I'd rather go for the broke guy who tries hard and has ambition, morals, intelligence, etc, than for the guy who has millions of dollars, but is not a good person

htismaqe
10-18-2005, 03:22 PM
it is very sad and true that money is the cause of many divorces
I'm not trying to say that money doesn't matter to me, but it shouldn't be the basis of who you pick to marry
True, you don't want to get married to the guy who is lazy and has no ambition, but that's also part of his personality, and he isn't the type of person I'm going to choose to marry- even if he's Brad Pitt hot- looks fade
and I'd rather go for the broke guy who tries hard and has ambition, morals, intelligence, etc, than for the guy who has millions of dollars, but is not a good person

Ahhh...the sweet smell of idealism.

How old are ya, 21? 22? :p

angel
10-18-2005, 03:24 PM
Ahhh...the sweet smell of idealism.

How old are ya, 21? 22? :p
25

and yes, I know about Santa and the Easter Bunny...
they don't bring presents to you once you're 21

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 03:29 PM
Ohh, "lazy and has no ambition". God, I shouldn't let myself get started on that.

Not everybody is built to be a captain of industry, and not everybody values the same kind of things, or wants the same stuff out of life. I'll use myself for an example. I have one dream right now: I want to write a novel. Why? To prove to myself that I can do it. Not that selling it wouldn't be a nice thing, too, of course. But I'm more interesting in proving something to myself. That's my one and only ambition.

Problem is, no matter how much I work at it, I'm not going to make any money for the hours I spend working toward that goal. Not now.

But, in the eyes of...everybody (including myself, sometimes, because peer pressure is a bitch, even at my old age), I'm lazy. No ambition. The general consensus is that I should give up this one thing that I want in my life and step onto the corprate treadmill, while away my life doing something I don't give a damn about.

And that bugs me, sometimes. What is life supposed to be about, and when did "happiness" or even "contentness" stop being a part of that?

But I digress. I've got to take myself to my "real" job now, and do something I'm really sick of doing for the next 6 or 8 hours, something I don't care a whit about except for the fact that I believe that whatever kind of work I do, it has to be good.

htismaqe
10-18-2005, 03:34 PM
25

and yes, I know about Santa and the Easter Bunny...
they don't bring presents to you once you're 21

25 and idealistic...

MMMMMMMMMMMMMM

:D

htismaqe
10-18-2005, 03:40 PM
Ohh, "lazy and has no ambition". God, I shouldn't let myself get started on that.

Not everybody is built to be a captain of industry, and not everybody values the same kind of things, or wants the same stuff out of life. I'll use myself for an example. I have one dream right now: I want to write a novel. Why? To prove to myself that I can do it. Not that selling it wouldn't be a nice thing, too, of course. But I'm more interesting in proving something to myself. That's my one and only ambition.

Problem is, no matter how much I work at it, I'm not going to make any money for the hours I spend working toward that goal. Not now.

But, in the eyes of...everybody (including myself, sometimes, because peer pressure is a bitch, even at my old age), I'm lazy. No ambition. The general consensus is that I should give up this one thing that I want in my life and step onto the corprate treadmill, while away my life doing something I don't give a damn about.

And that bugs me, sometimes. What is life supposed to be about, and when did "happiness" or even "contentness" stop being a part of that?

But I digress. I've got to take myself to my "real" job now, and do something I'm really sick of doing for the next 6 or 8 hours, something I don't care a whit about except for the fact that I believe that whatever kind of work I do, it has to be good.

Dude, I'm pretty lazy with very little ambition. But I know you're smart, and alot of times that can overcome laziness and then some. Sometimes, you just have to pick your battles.

I gave up my "dream" (my full-time band) to go corporate. I worked 70 hours a week getting good at what I did and taking advantage of the fact that the one skill I have is that I'm a mental sponge.

Now I make good money, never work overtime, and basically get to surf the Planet all day. And now, not only have I restarted my band, but I've got multiple guitars, the amp I always wanted, recording equipment, PA equipment, etc., all financed by my "day job". Stuff that I could never afford before...

Katipan
10-18-2005, 03:45 PM
Ohh, "lazy and has no ambition". God, I shouldn't let myself get started on that.

Not everybody is built to be a captain of industry, and not everybody values the same kind of things, or wants the same stuff out of life. I'll use myself for an example. I have one dream right now: I want to write a novel. Why? To prove to myself that I can do it. Not that selling it wouldn't be a nice thing, too, of course. But I'm more interesting in proving something to myself. That's my one and only ambition.

Problem is, no matter how much I work at it, I'm not going to make any money for the hours I spend working toward that goal. Not now.

But, in the eyes of...everybody (including myself, sometimes, because peer pressure is a bitch, even at my old age), I'm lazy. No ambition. The general consensus is that I should give up this one thing that I want in my life and step onto the corprate treadmill, while away my life doing something I don't give a damn about.

And that bugs me, sometimes. What is life supposed to be about, and when did "happiness" or even "contentness" stop being a part of that?

But I digress. I've got to take myself to my "real" job now, and do something I'm really sick of doing for the next 6 or 8 hours, something I don't care a whit about except for the fact that I believe that whatever kind of work I do, it has to be good.


See, I don't like the people around you. I think I'd like to give them a swift kick in the nuts.

I want to write a book. But I'm in my late 20s. I look at it as I have all the time in the world. Right now my life is about building the foundation for my kids until I send them off to school. Then it'll be all about my dreams.

If anyone has called me anything negative because I've delayed a goal, it certainly wasn't anywhere I could hear it.

TIIIIIIIIIIIME is on your side.

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 03:53 PM
Now I make good money, never work overtime, and basically get to surf the Planet all day. And now, not only have I restarted my band, but I've got multiple guitars, the amp I always wanted, recording equipment, PA equipment, etc., all financed by my "day job". Stuff that I could never afford before...Well, right now I "work" about 1 month out of every 3 - that's where the "lazy" talk comes in - and make enough in that one month to live for 3-4. The down side is the risk of projects falling through, no health/dental and when I do have to work, I work very, very long hours But I have all the time in the world when I'm not on a project to work on things that are important to me, namely getting my weight and health under control and developing my writing skills.

And I have no real problem with that. Until people start nagging me about it. Apparently I'm somehow...less, because I decide to work smarter rather than longer. And that just sets me off. I'm even getting it from my family occasionally, now.

But we're on a tangent here: the central issue was the money. As long as writing is my goal, money will be tight. So I sacrifice dating for it, too.

htismaqe
10-18-2005, 03:56 PM
Well, right now I "work" about 1 month out of every 3 - that's where the "lazy" talk comes in - and make enough in that one month to live for 3-4. The down side is the risk of projects falling through, no health/dental and when I do have to work, I work very, very long hours But I have all the time in the world when I'm not on a project to work on things that are important to me, namely getting my weight and health under control and developing my writing skills.

And I have no real problem with that. Until people start nagging me about it. Apparently I'm somehow...less, because I decide to work smarter rather than longer.

Well, those people can honestly fug off. If they *really* think blindly working hard without any ingenuity is gonna pay off, they're pretty naive. This ain't the 50's anymore.

stevieray
10-18-2005, 04:01 PM
first off, don't take any advice from someone who hasn't had a successful marriage.

Second, don't take any advice from someone who has a successful marriage.


:hmmm:

keg in kc
10-18-2005, 04:03 PM
first off, don't take any advice from someone who hasn't had a successful marriage.

Second, don't take any advice from someone who has a successful marriage.It's all individual anyway. What works for some won't work for others, and vice-versa. But it's interesting tossing tales of battle back and forth across the campfire.

And my lazy, unambitious ass really needs to log-off. This is ridiculous. I'll be working until midnight. Dumbass.

htismaqe
10-18-2005, 04:05 PM
first off, don't take any advice from someone who hasn't had a successful marriage.

Second, don't take any advice from someone who has a successful marriage.


:hmmm:

ROFL

Brilliant!

DJay23
10-18-2005, 05:54 PM
I'm 28. Not married. I've broken hearts, and had mine broken. I've been in love and been cheated on. I've casually dated and had casual sex. I've tried just about every relationship a man and woman can have with the exception of marriage. And now recently I've met someone who I could see as the one. But I'll let it play out. And that is my advice as a single man. Take things a day at a time. Allow yourself to live life instead of letting life live you. (hmm, not sure quite what that means).

Jenson71
10-18-2005, 06:46 PM
Thanks for all the replies so far.

Most important to know, is I am not thinking directly about sexual thoughts with her. I want to, and so does she, but we both agree we're just not gonna do it. I have never been too much of a womanizer, and have only liked (liked) one other girl besides her. This one though, I was determined to do something about. I wouldn't have lived with myself if I hadn't.

If that makes me less of a man to some of you, that's fine, it won't hurt my feelings.

I agree with the waiting part. Again, I don't plan on marrying til after college, it's just not practical and "healthy", I guess could be the word.

I am 17, I am a senior in high school, and I do think I'm better than the average male in this country. I'm just being honest.

nychief
10-18-2005, 06:55 PM
How many ****ing times has this thread come up? I swear he was waxing poetical and threatening marriage a couple of months ago - am I wrong?

Jenson71
10-18-2005, 07:09 PM
How many ****ing times has this thread come up? I swear he was waxing poetical and threatening marriage a couple of months ago - am I wrong?

Who me? :)

Yes, this is the 5'9", curvy, strawberry blonde girl I talked about earlier this summer. One time we were hanging out and she told me her secret of why she avoided me with the movie. She didn't want me to kiss her, she says she would have been freaked out. She's pretty innocent. Obviously, she doesn't mind kissing me now though.

Count Alex's Wins
10-18-2005, 07:12 PM
I do think I'm better than the average male in this country. .

You and Fire Me Boy! should get together and watch some "films."

luv
10-19-2005, 01:02 AM
You're in your laste 20's, you're self-sufficient, you have no attachment issues, and you've only dated THREE people?

What, are you ugly? :p
I'm too busy being seen as someone's "good friend to have" or "little sister type". I've never dated much. Shy and insecure. I would say overweight too, but I've seen women bigger than me with guys. I dunno. My friends say I'm too picky.

keg in kc
10-19-2005, 01:18 AM
Most important to know, is I am not thinking directly about sexual thoughts with her. I want to, and so does she, but we both agree we're just not gonna do it. I have never been too much of a womanizer, and have only liked (liked) one other girl besides her. This one though, I was determined to do something about. I wouldn't have lived with myself if I hadn't.

If that makes me less of a man to some of you, that's fine, it won't hurt my feelings.If what makes you less of a man? Not having sex? There's nothing wrong with that, if that's what the two of you agree on.I am 17, I am a senior in high school, and I do think I'm better than the average male in this country. I'm just being honest.Nothing wrong with that, either, although I think I tend to think more along the lines of "as good as" rather than "better than". I think everybody has some value in some way or another, maybe different strengths or weaknesses, which doesn't make one individual any better or worse than any other. Just different. When you're feeling particularly cocky, remember that there are people out there who can do things, amazing things, that you simply can't. And on a bad day, remember you've got your own particular individual strengths, whatever they may be.

The trick is being even-keeled. Never too high, never too low. Keep a balance. Remember your strengths, recognize your weaknesses, and don't dwell too much on either.

keg in kc
10-19-2005, 01:20 AM
I'm too busy being seen as someone's "good friend to have" or "little sister type". I've never dated much. Shy and insecure. I would say overweight too, but I've seen women bigger than me with guys. I dunno. My friends say I'm too picky.Being picky is fine. Just make sure you let people make their own judgements about you, too. That's one I have a problem with, assuming one way or the other instead of giving people a chance to make up their own mind about me. It's an easy way to preempt rejection.

HolmeZz
10-19-2005, 01:26 AM
I'm lonely.

WilliamTheIrish
10-19-2005, 01:26 AM
Jensen;

You're a bonehead.

Shut up and finish your homework.

luv
10-19-2005, 01:40 AM
Being picky is fine. Just make sure you let people make their own judgements about you, too. That's one I have a problem with, assuming one way or the other instead of giving people a chance to make up their own mind about me. It's an easy way to preempt rejection.
I always seem to be interested in a guy until he shows interest back. Then I think there must be something wrong with him if he's settling for me. The times when I have decided not to think that, I end up coming on too strong (I like to spoil people I like with attention and such), or I was completely off base about them being interested to begin with. Vicious cycle.

keg in kc
10-19-2005, 01:45 AM
Stop thinking so much.

luv
10-19-2005, 01:47 AM
Stop thinking so much.
ROFL

I hear that a lot, too.

Iowanian
10-19-2005, 10:37 PM
You need to watch Full Metal Jacket...Rub one out, and fart in the car with your friends.

At 17, you're not even close to being ready for marraige.

Listen closely....At your age, she's not going to be ready to decide which is the best dress for Valentine's dance.

This relationship is probably fun...you're both learning "how" to date.

A decade from now, you'll be laughing with a friend about how "heartbroken" you were 6 months from now, when she goes off to college and starts Porking some DIII Football Star or something.

Enjoy it while it lasts....go to college, you talked about the military, and prepare yourself for success in a long life.

Women will come and go(coming more if you do it right).....and in my experience, you'll KNOW when the right one comes along.


Do you Buy the first pair of shoes you try on without trying another? Buy a car without driving some other models?

ENDelt260
10-19-2005, 11:14 PM
Do you Buy the first pair of shoes you try on without trying another? Buy a car without driving some other models?

Yeah.... but, those things are cheaper than women.

Iowanian
10-19-2005, 11:24 PM
Some women...

ChiTown
10-19-2005, 11:26 PM
Don't listen to these idiots. Get married, drop out of school, start a family immediately and get a downpayment as soon as possible on a double-wide. Best o' luck to ya.

luv
10-20-2005, 12:51 AM
Yeah.... but, those things are cheaper than women.
SHHHHHH!!!! We don't want men to know that! Who let you in on that little secret?