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Mr. Laz
10-25-2005, 11:10 AM
LEAGUE NEEDS TO GET TOUGH WITH CROTCH-PUNCHERS

The NFL has a problem that, for whatever reason, it has failed to properly acknowledge.

Players, it seems, have a thing for punching and grabbing other players in the crotch.

Although the chestnut clutch-and-crush move has been a long-time staple at the bottom of a pile-up, guys are getting increasingly brazen with the more easily detectable jab to the giblets.

Last week, Pats guard Logan Mankins was ejected for punching Broncos defensive end Ebenezer Ekuban in the groinius maximus. Mankins also was fined $7,500, although he claims that the punch was not intentionally targeted at Ekuban's eggs and sausage.

''I was trying to get him off of me and my hand came from the ground and caught him in the crotch," Mankins said. ''I just know he was on my hand and I wanted to get him off." (Editor's note: Whenever discussing the issue of making contact with another man's genitalia, it is not advisable to use the phrase "I wanted to get him off.")

On Sunday, Rams defensive tackle Damione Lewis delivered a blow to the bladder bling of Saints center LeCharles Bentley, drawing another ejection, along with the ire of Bentley and Rams interim coach Joe Vitt.

"You don't do that where I'm from," Bentley said, according to The St. Louis Post-Dispatch. "But he's a [University of] Miami guy. What do you expect? I hope the league fines him to the utmost degree of the law. They should ban him for a game, too. We don't need that in this league."

Said Vitt. also per The P-D: "We will not tolerate it. It'll be dealt with. We're going to play the game the right way, and that's not the right way."

Last year, Saints defensive back Steve Gleason was fined only $5,000 for a similar maneuver -- which seemed extremely incongruous to us in light of the $10,000 fine that was slapped on Randy Moss for merely pretending to show his cheeks to the Cheeseheads.

Although the league apparently has jacked up the price tag for a punch to the pee-pee by 50 percent in the past year, the $7,500 levied against Mankins last week matches the fine imposed six years ago on then-Vikings defensive end Duane Clemons for a power shot to Flozell's mini-hotel.

Look, the only way to get guys to quit attempting to inflict intentional injury on the manhood of other players (who typically don't wear cups), the NFL should significantly increase fines for conduct that, if it occurred in a bar or on a street corner, could get a guy thrown in jail.

If the league is willing to fine guys like Jim Haslett and Coach Teflon 20 large for (God forbid) acknowledging that the zebras are human and, like the rest of us, screw things up from time to time, players who see fit to target the testes of other guys should at least pay that amount -- if not much more.

Ultra Peanut
10-25-2005, 11:12 AM
Naughty Marvcus!

BigRedChief
10-25-2005, 11:14 AM
And they don't wear protective cups.

All that protective gear and not a single NFL player will admit to wearing a cup. You are a wimp if you wear a cup in the NFL.

Believe it or not.

Rain Man
10-25-2005, 11:15 AM
Anyone arguing against the death penalty should read this article and really think about it.

ChiTown
10-25-2005, 11:16 AM
LEAGUE NEEDS TO GET TOUGH WITH CROTCH-PUNCHERS

Last week, Pats guard Logan Mankins was ejected for punching Broncos defensive end Ebenezer Ekuban in the groinius maximus. Mankins also was fined $7,500, although he claims that the punch was not intentionally targeted at Ekuban's eggs and sausage.



ROFL

Eggs & Sausage ROFL

Iowanian
10-25-2005, 11:19 AM
If I played on the line, I think I'd wear a boxing Kidney-banana belt.

InChiefsHell
10-25-2005, 11:24 AM
You would'nt catch me dead on a football field without a cup. My son plays football now, and I have to always remind him to wear it. To me, that should be automatic.

He's playing in the 11-12 year old league, and this is the age where suddenly, a cup makes a big difference. I've thought about just letting him take a shot and learn his lesson.

BigRedChief
10-25-2005, 11:26 AM
You would'nt catch me dead on a football field without a cup. My son plays football now, and I have to always remind him to wear it. To me, that should be automatic.

He's playing in the 11-12 year old league, and this is the age where suddenly, a cup makes a big difference. I've thought about just letting him take a shot and learn his lesson.

It is a rule in every college, High School, Pop Warner league in the nation. Except the NFL.

ChiTown
10-25-2005, 11:27 AM
You would'nt catch me dead on a football field without a cup. My son plays football now, and I have to always remind him to wear it. To me, that should be automatic.

He's playing in the 11-12 year old league, and this is the age where suddenly, a cup makes a big difference. I've thought about just letting him take a shot and learn his lesson.

Yep. Nothing says "lesson learned" like a cleat to the uncovered nuts.

ChiefsFire
10-25-2005, 11:29 AM
eggs and sausage

htismaqe
10-25-2005, 11:33 AM
Watch out or Scanlon will Richambeau you!

BigRedChief
10-25-2005, 11:33 AM
Yep. Nothing says "lesson learned" like a cleat to the uncovered nuts.

but then there would go the grandkids option. Who would visit you in the nursing home?

journeyscarab
10-25-2005, 11:35 AM
Aunt Bettys nut-butter.

ChiTown
10-25-2005, 11:37 AM
but then there would go the grandkids option. Who would visit you in the nursing home?

I'm hoping to be wealthy enough by then that I'll have my own little version of Anna Nicole Smith, minus the fat. :)

jynni
10-25-2005, 11:42 AM
Hee - where is that picture of Priest from the Washington game...

BigMeatballDave
10-25-2005, 11:50 AM
ROFL

Eggs & Sausage ROFLI'm still laughing at that, too...
ROFL

ExtremeChief
10-25-2005, 11:53 AM
nothing like a jolt to the twig and giggleberries

StcChief
10-25-2005, 11:56 AM
Like the Rams guy. Immediate Ejection unsportsman like conduct.
Fine up to $150K depending on situation.
Now add Automatic suspension 2 games. That will make them think twice.

Not wearing a cup. Your an idiot.

Iowanian
10-25-2005, 12:10 PM
I think any player, flagrantly caught punching another in the junk, should have to stand with legs apart, grasp both hands on his facemask, close his eye, and take a kick to the skin carrot and radishes by the player they dinged......then be forced to stay in for the next play.

sedated
10-25-2005, 12:17 PM
jab to the giblets.

eggs and sausage.

"I wanted to get him off."

bladder bling

punch to the pee-pee


hahahahahahahahahahahaha ROFL ROFL ROFL

InChiefsHell
10-25-2005, 12:18 PM
I think any player, flagrantly caught punching another in the junk, should have to stand with legs apart, grasp both hands on his facemask, close his eye, and take a kick to the skin carrot and radishes by the player they dinged......then be forced to stay in for the next play.

Man, nobody says it better!
:clap:

journeyscarab
10-25-2005, 12:26 PM
ROFL ROFL ROFL

"the skin carrot and radishes"

Bowser
10-25-2005, 02:52 PM
"But he's a [University of] Miami guy. What do you expect?"

ROFL