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CosmicPal
11-04-2005, 10:05 AM
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures of using the ATM have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

***********************************************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake

ChiefsFan4Life
11-04-2005, 10:07 AM
LOL...that's good stuff.

kepp
11-04-2005, 10:09 AM
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures of using the ATM have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

***********************************************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake

ROFL I'm gonna send this to my wife.

sedated
11-04-2005, 10:10 AM
F*cking women.

If they didn't have pu$$ies, they would be extinct by now.

shakesthecat
11-04-2005, 10:10 AM
Women know how to use parking brakes?

joesomebody
11-04-2005, 10:17 AM
Why do people quote the thread starter... I mean if you are posting in the thread, doesn't one assume that you are referencing the threads subject?


Maybe I'm just grumpy.

Bob Dole
11-04-2005, 10:25 AM
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures of using the ATM have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

***********************************************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake

No.

Yes, you are.

MichaelH
11-04-2005, 10:27 AM
:clap:ROFL NICE!

sedated
11-04-2005, 10:33 AM
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures of using the ATM have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

***********************************************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake

:harumph:

ChiTown
11-04-2005, 10:35 AM
F*cking women.

If they didn't have pu$$ies, they would be extinct by now.

I used that line on my wife in anger one time........I repeat, one time.

StcChief
11-04-2005, 10:41 AM
EXCELLENT.

Mr. Kotter
11-04-2005, 10:42 AM
I used that line on my wife in anger one time........I repeat, one time.

That explains your avatar. Heh. :)

BigRedChief
11-04-2005, 10:44 AM
EXCELLENT.
I agree. Most Ecellent.
http://epguides.com/BillandTedsExcellentAdventures_anim/cast.jpg

Lzen
11-04-2005, 11:25 AM
Good stuff. :LOL:

joesomebody
11-04-2005, 01:15 PM
No.

Yes, you are.ROFL

Joesomebody thinks Bob Dole is probably right.

Quote away.

ck_IN
11-04-2005, 01:31 PM
Just sent this to my wife. I wonder what I'll get for dinner. :hmmm:

KChiefsQT
11-04-2005, 01:48 PM
Just sent this to my wife. I wonder what I'll get for dinner. :hmmm:
don't know about dinner. But after dinner... you aint getting shit.

PastorMikH
11-04-2005, 10:10 PM
Oh, this deserves a bump!


ROFL

Mr. Kotter
11-04-2005, 10:13 PM
Oh, this deserves a bump!


ROFL

Yeah, pretty funny.

greg63
11-04-2005, 10:33 PM
ROFL ROFL luv's gonna love this one.