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gblowfish
11-07-2005, 08:10 AM
Here's the advance copy. I'll post it later tonight on my website:

The Doggity Chiefs Report
Week 9 - 2005
Chiefs vs East Bay Convicts from "the Head", Kansas City, MO.
Kansas City - 27; San Quentin - 23
From in front of the big screen at Curtis'. As always, you can find the
Doggity Reports from this and previous years at www.georgeblowfish.com! And
visit "Radio Blowfish"- The official voice of the "Jane You Ignorant Slut"
political blog. If you know others who might want to get this report in the
'junk' folder of their e-mail inbox - send me their addresses so we can add
them to the rapidly expanding number of people who have nothing better to do
than read the Doggity Report each week. Remember our privacy policy - "We
don't sell email addresses to purveyors of urinary health products."

Overview - Epic. Right up there with other regular-season KC masterpieces
like the Elvis to Rison TD in Oakland in 1997 and just below that
Montana/Elway clash in Denver in 1994. And, despite a lower altitude, LJ
looked like Marcus as he glided over the goal line and into the endzone over
the blocks of Shields, Weigmann and Dunn. The camera behind the goal post
gave the best view. I think he could have walked it in. The blocks by
Shields and Weigmann were so devastating that T-Rich ran into the hole and
couldn't find anyone to hit. Raise your hand if you honestly thought Coach
Dickie V would play for the win, not the tie. Me either. Of course, given
KC's special teams coverage all day and the leg of Sea Bass, you have to
think the odds were better running a half yard than trying to prevent the OT
win without ever seeing the ball. Face it, 75% of this game was dreadful to
watch. But the final frame made it worth enduring the first three. Oh, and
for the record - Jared Allen didn't rough Collins and Jasper didn't trip
Green. But the Bay Area papers are all whining about the tripping call this
morning. Shut up. Both were bogus and Subway running his yap meant the
Convicts got 30 yards, and KC only fifteen. Both continued drives that
resulted in TD's - but clearly the boys in black got the better end of the
zebras' clown act. That's why the Dogg never blames wins and losses on the
refs.

Offense - Took em long enough. In fairness, I remember loosing my dad
unexpectedly, 17 years ago. I was a basket case for a month. Trent Green
obviously has stones visible from outer space. What a gutty performance.
Before the game, Trent took the white tape they use on the sidelines and
taped off the seat where his father sat for every KC home game since they
signed Green in 2001. Vermeil gave the game ball to the late Jim Green.
Still, as a fan that was a long and painful first half to watch. Jordan
Black once again nearly cost us the game. He was beaten like an ugly
red-headed step child by Tommy Kelly, who had three sacks and a forced
fumble. Finally, in the fourth quarter, it dawned on Al Saunders that Willie
Roaf wasn't playing left tackle. And Larry Johnson isn't Priest Holmes.
Larry doesn't juke you and bust one outside. Larry runs downhill. Larry runs
over you. Larry runs nasty. KC still has the best interior line in the NFL
with Waters, Weigmann and Shields, and with Holmes in streets, they have a
guy in the backfield who can bust one up the gut. I don't care how big
Washington and Sapp are, I like the Chiefs' chances with that match up.
Green mixed it up well - even giving T-Rich a reception for a rare score.
But Young Larry put this team in his diaper and carried it the last 37 yards
for the win.

Defense - This may have been this defense's best overall performance to
date. Despite their record, Oakland has weapons and they have played well to
date. I remember at the beginning of the year when everyone was worried
about KC's secondary now that the Raiders had Randy Moss. In the first
meeting, with Warfield still serving his suspension, Moss lit them up like
the Plaza on Thanksgiving night. But KC still got the W. Sunday, Moss had
one catch - granted for a score - but still. And the number five CB, DeWayne
Washington had Randy on his dance card most of the afternoon. Washington did
a more than respectable job against the big guy. I will also give you that
Moss has been nursing injuries, but KC's secondary was decimated. Surtain -
the best corner on the team, and Dexter McCleon, number three on the depth
chart - were both in their civvies - and Warfield was playing hurt. As much
as I love Jared Allen's heart, he needs to watch his mouth. Swearing at a
ref rarely does anything positive for your team. Kawika had another sterling
performance, and big bucks free agent, Kendrell Bell is this year's leader
in the voting for the Claude Raines award.

Special Teams - Great kickers. Both guys are putting together strong
seasons. Colquitt is frightening return guys all over the league. Another
muffed punt yesterday that the Raiders fell on, but it's just a matter of
time until he wins a game for the Chiefs. But the coverage unit is dreadful.
They miss Monte Beisel and Derrick Blaylock.

The AFC West -
KC Chiefs - Disaster averted, KC picks up a game and is in sole possession
of second place, with all of their division road games behind them.

Denver Donkeys - The bye week means KC and SD gain ground, and Denver has
yet to play a road game in the division.

East Bay Convicts - I'm thinking I might go look at that new Envoy at Norv
Turner Buick-Pontiac-GMC after the season ends.

San Diego Bolts - Is LT for real? Sorry Donkey fan - Marty's bolts are the
class of this division. They are the team to beat.

Throw Him A Bone Award -
It was hard not to give it to Trent, under the circumstances. I even
considered DeWayne Washington, until Moss caught that TD, but this game was
won on the heart, legs and diaper of Larry Johnson. LJ - fetch!

The Doggity Dog -
The guy who gets chained out in the yard this week is Jordan Black. I'm not
sure what the coaches see in this speed bump. I see a big, slow, white
Trezelle Jenkins. He doesn't even seem to improve week-to-week.

Ms. Priscilla's Recipe Box's "Tailgate Recipe of the Week" -
A fan-favorite segment from the past two years is the tailgate recipe of the
week - a feature
suggested by Dr. Bob's better half before the start of the 2003 season. In
her honor, it will bear
her name this season
.
Boneless Buffalo Wings:
Ingredients:
1 cup all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon paprika
1 egg
1 cup milk
2 chicken breast fillets
4-6 cups vegetable oil
1/4 cup Crystal or Frank's Louisiana hot sauce
1 tablespoon margarine
On the side bleu cheese dressing (for dipping) celery sticks
Preparation:
1. Combine flour, salt, peppers and paprika in a medium bowl.
2. In another small bowl, whisk together egg and milk.
3. Slice each chicken breast into 6 pieces. Preheat 4-6 cups of vegetable
oil in a deep fryer to 375 degrees.
4. One or two at a time, dip each piece of chicken into the egg mixture,
then into the breading blend; then repeat the process so that each piece of
chicken is double-coated.
5. When all chicken pieces have been breaded, arrange them on a plate and
chill for 15 minutes.
6. When the chicken is done resting, drop each piece into the hot oil and
fry for 5-6 minutes or until each piece is browned.
7. As chicken fries, combine the hot sauce and margarine in a small bowl.
Microwave sauce for 20-30 seconds or just until the margarine is melted,
then stir to combine. You can also use a small saucepan for this step. Just
combine the hot sauce and margarine in the saucepan over low heat and stir
until margarine is melted and ingredients are blended.
8. When chicken pieces are done frying, remove them to a plate lined with a
couple paper towels.
9. Place the chicken pieces into a covered container such as a large jar
with a lid. Pour the sauce over the chicken in the container, cover, and
then shake gently until each piece of chicken is coated with sauce.
Pour the chicken onto a plate and serve the dish with bleu cheese dressing
and sliced celery on the side.
Serves 2-4 as an appetizer.
Send your recipes to the Dog, by e-mail or fax them to 913-831-1307.

Special Note:
This season, the Doggity Report would like to focus on the good work done by
our friend Phil Kloster and all the folks at the "37 Forever" Foundation. 37
Forever was founded in 1999 to honor the memory of Joe Delaney, a former
Chiefs RB who perished in a drowning accident after entering the water in an
effort to save three children. Only one child survived and Joe Delaney could
not swim. Joe Delaney was inducted into the Chiefs Ring of Fame in 2004,
perhaps in part due to the exposure brought about by the efforts of 37
Forever.
37 Forever is currently seeking local leadership to assist in growing the
organization. For more information about 37 Forever, please contact Phil
Kloster at (816)665-1208 or pkloster@37forever.org

Next week -
I refuse to say they are shuffling off...

Your faithful scribe,
Mr. Doggity