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Area 51
11-11-2005, 09:14 AM
On Thinking
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at cocktail parties.

Now and then -- just to loosen up.

Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone -- "to relax", I told myself, but I knew it wasn't true.

Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.

That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life.

She spent that night at her mother's.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.

I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

One day the boss called me in to his office. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem.
If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find employment elsewhere."

This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as school teachers, and school teachers don't make any money, so if you don't stop all that thinking you've been doing lately, pretty soon we will be living under the freeway!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.

"I'm going to the library to unwind," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche.

I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors.

They didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.

As I sank to the ground, clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye.

"Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.

You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's". Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.

Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

Today, I even registered to vote as a Democrat.

I believe the road to recovery is nearly complete for me.

the Talking Can
11-11-2005, 09:15 AM
since when does George Carlin write in ALL CAPS?*


* apparently George reformats his emails too...what a guy

Area 51
11-11-2005, 09:19 AM
since when does George Carlin write in ALL CAPS?*


* apparently George reformats his emails too...what a guy

I figured an asshole would be first on the scene.

I know the writer and it wasn't GC or TN.

Now, go back to your koolaid.

Kclee
11-11-2005, 09:20 AM
I figured an asshole would be first on the scene.

I know the writer and it wasn't GC or TN.

Now, go back to your koolaid.

That means.... You KNOW Robin Williams! Wow.

Area 51
11-11-2005, 09:31 AM
That means.... You KNOW Robin Williams! Wow.

Not Robin.

This needs to go to the DC forum or to the Romper Room. It was a mistake to think that everyone might see the levity in the story. ( If you don't like the punchline, change it to suit your political affiliation.)

Brock
11-11-2005, 09:34 AM
D.C.

buh-bye

WilliamTheIrish
11-11-2005, 09:35 AM
D.C.

buh-bye

Better yet... delete this shit.

NewChief
11-11-2005, 09:37 AM
The irony of 51 posting this is just awesome.

NewChief
11-11-2005, 09:40 AM
I just found this thing all over the place online. This is the only version I've seen that had the "I even registered as a Democrat" verse.

Oh take that back. I found other versions that are the exact same thing except that say "Today I joined the Republican party."

:shake:

And BTW, you're full of crap that you "know the author."

jspchief
11-11-2005, 09:40 AM
Not Robin.

This needs to go to the DC forum or to the Romper Room. It was a mistake to think that everyone might see the levity in the story. ( If you don't like the punchline, change it to suit your political affiliation.)Chef Bob, I thought you were leaving.

Braincase
11-11-2005, 09:49 AM
I think his point is that if you don't think like him, in his opinion, you're in the wrong.

I can live with that.

Area 51
11-11-2005, 09:52 AM
I think his point is that if you don't think like him, in his opinion, you're in the wrong.

I can live with that.

I'm glad you cleared that up. Too bad you don't know WTF you are talking about!

Area 51
11-11-2005, 09:53 AM
I just found this thing all over the place online. This is the only version I've seen that had the "I even registered as a Democrat" verse.

Oh take that back. I found other versions that are the exact same thing except that say "Today I joined the Republican party."

:shake:

And BTW, you're full of crap that you "know the author."

I'll copy your comments and send it to him in an email. He will be amused.

Braincase
11-11-2005, 09:56 AM
I'm glad you cleared that up. Too bad you don't know WTF you are talking about!

Why don't you start a poll? Poll the posters on the board as to whom they think knows WTF they're talking about on the most consistent basis. I will happily concede if the majority selects you.

I solved it for you, and posted the poll in the DC forum, and I will not vote in the poll, lest it sway the results.

jspchief
11-11-2005, 10:00 AM
Regardless of who wrote it and what is meant by it, it's stupid.

If it's supposed to be comical, it isn't.
If it's supposed to be thought provoking, it isn't.
If it's supposed to be a rip on Dems/Reps/Bronco fans/etc, it isn't.

NewChief
11-11-2005, 10:01 AM
I'll copy your comments and send it to him in an email. He will be amused.


Please do. He should also inform the 10,000 or so websites that have his piece of writing listed as anonymous to give him some credit.

NewChief
11-11-2005, 10:14 AM
By the way, here's a google search that should help your author friend get started tracking down all those people who aren't giving him credit for his work:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&q=As+I+sank+to+the+ground%2C+clawing+at+the+unfeeling+glass%2C+whimpering+for+Zarathustra%2C+a+poste r+caught+my+eye

Kclee
11-11-2005, 10:22 AM
By the way, here's a google search that should help your author friend get started tracking down all those people who aren't giving him credit for his work:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&q=As+I+sank+to+the+ground%2C+clawing+at+the+unfeeling+glass%2C+whimpering+for+Zarathustra%2C+a+poste r+caught+my+eye


Heh.

Area 51
11-11-2005, 10:22 AM
Why don't you start a poll? Poll the posters on the board as to whom they think knows WTF they're talking about on the most consistent basis. I will happily concede if the majority selects you.

I solved it for you, and posted the poll in the DC forum, and I will not vote in the poll, lest it sway the results.

:rolleyes:

Area 51
11-11-2005, 10:24 AM
Please do. He should also inform the 10,000 or so websites that have his piece of writing listed as anonymous to give him some credit.

I got a response. Basically he doesn't give a shit about anyone that plagerizes his work. It was not copywrighted so it was free game.

He did admit that the original was as I had it but it has been adjusted in many ways to spread the "joy".

Say what you might, you are pissing up a rope.

NewChief
11-11-2005, 10:25 AM
I got a response. Basically he doesn't give a shit about anyone that plagerizes his work. It was not copywrighted so it was free game.

He did admit that the original was as I had it but it has been adjusted in many ways to spread the "joy".

Say what you might, you are pissing up a rope.

ROFL

Area 51
11-11-2005, 10:40 AM
ROFL

I saw your carry over. I'd say that you are hopeless, but JC can still help you.

|Zach|
11-11-2005, 11:21 AM
Cool, thanks for crapping your inbox on Chiefs Planet again.

E-mail forwards...the sign of a true pseudo intellectual.

NewChief
11-11-2005, 11:22 AM
Cool, thanks for crapping you inbox on Chiefs Planet again.

E-mail forwards...the sign of a true pseudo intellectual.

It's not an email forward. A good friend of his was the original author.

Area 51
11-11-2005, 11:29 AM
It's not an email forward. A good friend of his was the original author.

Actually it was ZachKC. Not that good of a friend.

Count Alex's Losses
11-11-2005, 11:31 AM
Zach...LET'S GET IT STARTED!

|Zach|
11-11-2005, 11:32 AM
Actually it was ZachKC. Not that good of a friend.Thank god. If you considered me a friend I would kill myself.

Aside from that here is a picture from the movie raising arizona.

http://www.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/Movies/9512/cage/raising_arizona.jpg

Count Alex's Losses
11-11-2005, 11:33 AM
...

|Zach|
11-11-2005, 11:33 AM
http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/touchstone_pictures/the_life_aquatic_with_steve_zissou/_group_photos/bill_murray10.jpg

|Zach|
11-11-2005, 11:34 AM
http://www.adrianaroze.com/uploaded_images/life%20aquatic.jpg-775146.jpeg

|Zach|
11-11-2005, 11:34 AM
Life aqautic...fun movie.

Count Alex's Losses
11-11-2005, 11:34 AM
ARRR

Count Alex's Losses
11-11-2005, 11:35 AM
It's true.

Count Alex's Losses
11-11-2005, 11:36 AM
.........

|Zach|
11-11-2005, 11:37 AM
http://www.entertainment-news.org/images/full_size/review-me-and-you-and-everyone-we-know.jpg

Count Alex's Losses
11-11-2005, 11:39 AM
.

Count Alex's Losses
11-11-2005, 11:40 AM
Old classic.

|Zach|
11-11-2005, 11:42 AM
http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/03/31/ben_narrowweb__200x284.jpg

Count Alex's Losses
11-11-2005, 11:43 AM
Can ZachKC find it in him to post one star wars picture?

WilliamTheIrish
11-11-2005, 11:43 AM
Thank god. If you considered me a friend I would kill myself.

Aside from that here is a picture from the movie raising arizona.

"Mind his little fontanel."

|Zach|
11-11-2005, 11:44 AM
Thank god. If you considered me a friend I would kill myself.

Aside from that here is a picture from the movie raising arizona.

"Mind his little fontanel."

Do those baloons blow up into funny shapes?

Well....no....

Unless you think round is funny.

Count Alex's Losses
11-11-2005, 11:44 AM
Whee!

|Zach|
11-11-2005, 11:44 AM
Because everybody hates a tourist...

http://www.rainydawg.org/images/db/large/1097737414.jpeg

Count Alex's Losses
11-11-2005, 11:46 AM
Bill Shatner is an asshole.

Count Alex's Losses
11-11-2005, 11:46 AM
Seriously...huge jerk.

Count Alex's Losses
11-11-2005, 11:53 AM
MORE

unlurking
11-11-2005, 11:57 AM
Seriously...huge jerk.

Screw you, the Captain is a GOD!!!!

:p

unlurking
11-11-2005, 11:58 AM
...

Area 51
11-11-2005, 11:58 AM
Thank god. If you considered me a friend I would kill myself.

Aside from that here is a picture from the movie raising arizona.

http://www.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/Movies/9512/cage/raising_arizona.jpg

Is that really you? You're as ugly as I thought!

NewChief
11-11-2005, 11:59 AM
You guys are screwing this all up. I'm trying to get 51 to prove to us that he knows this original author, and you're spamming the spam with spam.

|Zach|
11-11-2005, 12:00 PM
You guys are screwing this all up. I'm trying to get 51 to prove to us that he knows this original author, and you're spamming the spam with spam.Why would you waste your time? We all know he is full of shit. Theres no way he has a friend who wrote this...

He can't prove a thing.

Dumbassery abounds!

unlurking
11-11-2005, 12:04 PM
Sure.

Next you'll be telling me he didn't invent the internet.

:shake:

Area 51
11-11-2005, 12:07 PM
You guys are screwing this all up. I'm trying to get 51 to prove to us that he knows this original author, and you're spamming the spam with spam.

Keep hoping, I don't need to prove anything. You have already posted your beliefs, they wouldn't change if the man himself came to your door with the original manuscript.

Ever heard of moot point? You want, you aren't getting...moot point.

Area 51
11-11-2005, 12:08 PM
Why would you waste your time? We all know he is full of shit. Theres no way he has a friend who wrote this...

He can't prove a thing.

Dumbassery abounds!

Just goes to show, now you are not my friend.

I think you have reverted to asshole.

unlurking
11-11-2005, 12:11 PM
Just goes to show, now you are not my friend.

I think you have reverted to asshole.
ruh roh

Time for ZackKC to go run and cry, forever mourning the loss of a companionship that will be no more.

:(

'Tis a sad, sad day.

Count Alex's Losses
11-11-2005, 12:17 PM
BACK TO WORK

the Talking Can
11-11-2005, 12:26 PM
I got a response. Basically he doesn't give a shit about anyone that plagerizes his work. It was not copywrighted so it was free game.

He did admit that the original was as I had it but it has been adjusted in many ways to spread the "joy".

Say what you might, you are pissing up a rope.
ROFL

the biggest lie on the planet in a long time....

the Talking Can
11-11-2005, 12:30 PM
by the way, my friend invented the flowbee...honest:

http://www.isyouis.1051am.com/media/1/20050216-flowbee.jpg

Area 51
11-11-2005, 01:36 PM
ROFL

the biggest lie on the planet in a long time....

Right. That and someone saying that you walk upright.

Area 51
11-11-2005, 01:37 PM
by the way, my friend invented the flowbee...honest:

http://www.isyouis.1051am.com/media/1/20050216-flowbee.jpg

So is your friend sharing the money?

Area 51
11-11-2005, 01:37 PM
by the way, my friend invented the flowbee...honest:

http://www.isyouis.1051am.com/media/1/20050216-flowbee.jpg

Is your friend the same guy that invented the internet!?

|Zach|
11-11-2005, 06:22 PM
Keep hoping, I don't need to prove anything. You have already posted your beliefs, they wouldn't change if the man himself came to your door with the original manuscript.

Ever heard of moot point? You want, you aren't getting...moot point.Is this the point where you criticize others for name calling?-