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FloridaChief
11-26-2005, 02:34 PM
Pfizer Launches 'Zoloft For Everything' Ad Campaign

NEW YORK–Seeking to broaden the customer base of the popular drug, Pfizer announced the launch of a $40 million "Zoloft For Everything" advertising campaign Monday.

"Zoloft is most commonly prescribed for the treatment of depression and anxiety disorders, but it would be ridiculous to limit such a multi-functional drug to these few uses," Pfizer spokesman Jon Pugh said. "We feel doctors need to stop asking their patients if anything is wrong and start asking if anything could be more right."

Continued Pugh: "How many millions of people out there are suffering under the strain of a deadline at work or pre-date jitters, but don't realize there's a drug that could provide relief? Zoloft isn't just for severe anxiety or depression. Got the Monday blues? Kids driving you nuts? Let Zoloft help. Zoloft."

Zoloft (sertraline hydrochloride) was originally introduced as a means of treating depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, panic disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. In January of this year, however, Pfizer won FDA approval for use of Zoloft to treat premenstrual dysphoric disorder, as well as social-anxiety disorder, or "social phobia."

Last week, the FDA okayed Zoloft for treatment of "the entire range of unpleasant or otherwise negative social, physical, and mental feelings that an individual may experience in the course of a human life."

"At first, Zoloft was only used to treat depression," Pugh said. "But what is depression, really? Who died and gave doctors the authority to dictate who is and isn't depressed? One man's hangnail could be another man's darkest depths of despair. Isn't medication a tool to help people lead better, happier lives? Access to drugs should not be restricted to those the medical community officially deems 'sick.'"

Pfizer president James Vernon said the "Zoloft For Everything" campaign will employ print and TV ads to inform potential users about the "literally thousands" of new applications for Zoloft. Among the conditions the drug can be used to treat: anxiety associated with summer swimsuit season, insecurity over sexual potency and performance, feelings of shame over taking an antidepressant, and a sense of hollowness stemming from losing an online auction.

Enlarge ImagePfizer Launches Ad Campaign jump

A Zoloft ad slated to run in next week's issue of People.

In today's fast-paced world, Vernon said, people don't have time to deal with mood changes.

"Zoloft has always helped clinically depressed people modulate serotonin levels and other chemical imbalances that make life unlivable for them," Vernon said. "But now, Zoloft can also help anyone who needs their emotions leveled off. Do you find yourself feeling excited or sad? No one should have to suffer through those harrowing peaks and valleys."

Anita White of Yuma, AZ, sought out Zoloft after seeing one of the new commercials.

"I was sitting on the couch, just watching TV, and, for the life of me, I couldn't motivate myself to go down to the basement to do the laundry," White said. "Luckily, a Zoloft ad came on right at that moment. I went to their web site and, sure enough, one of the 'Is Zoloft Right For You?' quiz questions was, 'Are you unable to motivate yourself to go down to the basement to do the laundry?' That's when I knew."

Other pharmaceutical companies are following Pfizer's lead. On Tuesday, Paxil manufacturer GlaxoSmithKline unveiled its new ad slogan, "Paxil... Give It A Try." Eli Lilly, maker of Prozac, is slated to launch a similar campaign built around the slogan, "Pot Roast Burnt? Husband Home With The Flu? You're Having One Of Those Prozac Days."

"We are letting consumers know that if they suspect Zoloft might improve the quality of their lives, they should contact their doctor," Pugh said. "And remember, you'll need to take Zoloft for at least eight weeks to make sure it's working."

Pugh warned that Zoloft use may cause side effects such as agitation, erratic behavior, restlessness, difficulty speaking, or shaking of hands and fingers. He added that Zoloft can help those suffering from agitation, erratic behavior, restlessness, difficulty speaking, and shaking of hands and fingers.

Reuptake the Link (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28349)

FloridaChief
11-26-2005, 02:36 PM
.

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/onion_news770.article.jpg

Rausch
11-26-2005, 02:55 PM
Sad thing is I was about half way through before I even considered it might be an onion article.

4th and Long
11-26-2005, 03:08 PM
Sad thing is I was about half way through before I even considered it might be an onion article.
Even sadder is the fact that this is the way a lot of physicians THINK these drugs should be used.

penchief
11-26-2005, 03:08 PM
This may be satire but sadly it's not far from the truth.

Demonpenz
11-26-2005, 03:22 PM
zoloft, for when your right tackle is still jordan black

Phobia
11-26-2005, 03:23 PM
Naturally, I assumed this would be an apology thread.

FloridaChief
11-26-2005, 03:26 PM
Naturally, I assumed this would be an apology thread.

Okay...

Alternative thread title: It Was The Zoloft Talking....

4th and Long
11-26-2005, 03:30 PM
http://www.downwindproductions.com/mamo.jpg

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38127000/jpg/_38127446_rodney_150ap.jpg

Can't we all just get along?

SNR
11-26-2005, 04:11 PM
This would've been funnier if the article were about Viagra instead.

FloridaChief
11-26-2005, 04:15 PM
This would've been funnier if the article were about Viagra instead.

So says your wife...

SNR
11-26-2005, 04:18 PM
So says your wife...My wife doesn't use Viagra, dumbshit

FloridaChief
11-26-2005, 04:22 PM
My wife doesn't use Viagra, dumbshit

Yes, but--and Thank God for her--her boyfriend does....

SNR
11-26-2005, 04:47 PM
Yes, but--and Thank God for her--her boyfriend does....And you would know because... :hmmm:

FloridaChief
11-26-2005, 04:53 PM
And you would know because... :hmmm:

Pretty good...

Pret-TAY, pret-TAY, pret-TAY good....


http://www.newyorkish.com/newyorkish/larry_david.jpg

chiefs4me
11-26-2005, 05:10 PM
Yes, but--and Thank God for her--her boyfriend does....









OUCH........ROFL

Raiderhader
11-26-2005, 05:21 PM
Naturally, I assumed this would be an apology thread.


:spock: Did FC go bonkers on us or something?

I need to be here more often....

FloridaChief
11-26-2005, 05:24 PM
Did FC go bonkers on us

Yes!

Raiderhader
11-26-2005, 05:27 PM
Yes!


Sweet. Link?

4th and Long
11-26-2005, 05:31 PM
Sweet. Link?
Do us all a favor and dont reopen that wound, please and thank you.

FloridaChief
11-26-2005, 05:33 PM
Link?


Since You Asked (http://www.depressionchat.com/forums/index.cfm?b=Depression)

Raiderhader
11-26-2005, 05:34 PM
Do us all a favor and dont reopen that wound, please and thank you.


From reading in another thread, you seem to be doing a fine job of keeping the wound open.

I merely wish to read what transpired.

keg in kc
11-26-2005, 05:34 PM
Good stuff.

Raiderhader
11-26-2005, 05:35 PM
Since You Asked (http://www.depressionchat.com/forums/index.cfm?b=Depression)


Thank you.

go bowe
11-26-2005, 05:37 PM
My wife doesn't use Viagra, dumbshitshe should...

it intensifies the pleasure and promotes longer and/or more female orgasms...

or so they say...

4th and Long
11-26-2005, 05:38 PM
From reading in another thread, you seem to be doing a fine job of keeping the wound open.

I merely wish to read what transpired.
I can see no one has taught you the difference in being a band-aid and ripping off a scab. :p

Raiderhader
11-26-2005, 05:38 PM
Thank you.


Uh, I'm confused (yeah I know, what else is new), I was under the assumption there was a spat on the Planet.....

keg in kc
11-26-2005, 05:39 PM
she should...

it intensifies the pleasure and promotes longer and/or more female orgasms...

or so they say...Pleasure? Orgasms?

What are these things?

4th and Long
11-26-2005, 05:40 PM
she should...

it intensifies the pleasure and promotes longer and/or more female orgasms...

or so they say...
You forgot lowering the blood pressure and increasing the risk of a heart attack. Just thought I'd throw that in there. :D

FloridaChief
11-26-2005, 05:40 PM
Don't bitch at each other over it--It's not worth it.

As soon as they find the correct med at the correct dosage, all will be cool...

Raiderhader
11-26-2005, 05:42 PM
I can see no one has taught you the difference in being a band-aid and ripping off a scab. :p


Riiiiiiiight.

SNR
11-26-2005, 05:45 PM
If my mom saw me conversing on this thread right now, she would cry

Raiderhader
11-26-2005, 05:46 PM
Don't bitch at each other over it--It's not worth it.

As soon as they find the correct med at the correct dosage, all will be cool...


I'm not bitching at anyone.... yet. I was just curious as to WTF took place that would require one of the cooler posters on the board to make an apology.

FloridaChief
11-26-2005, 05:47 PM
If my mom saw me conversing on this thread right now, she would cry

My mommy, too...

keg in kc
11-26-2005, 05:50 PM
My mom would probably be happy that I'm not surfing porn.

chiefs4me
11-26-2005, 06:04 PM
I'm not bitching at anyone.... yet. I was just curious as to WTF took place that would require one of the cooler posters on the board to make an apology.








It was nothing, Fc and Phob thru smack back and forth a few days..they had a tiff over rep...it was really kind of weak........ROFL

FloridaChief
11-26-2005, 06:07 PM
Bill O'Reilly understands the plight of the black man...

4th and Long
11-26-2005, 06:11 PM
Bill O'Reilly understands the plight of the black man...
Dat be some bullchit right dere! No one knows da plight of da black man likes I do. Jus ax Marcus Spears, BEOTCH! - Jason Whitlock

keg in kc
11-26-2005, 06:11 PM
Bill O'Reilly understands the intrinsic value of Zoloft.

Raiderhader
11-26-2005, 06:56 PM
It was nothing, Fc and Phob thru smack back and forth a few days..they had a tiff over rep...it was really kind of weak........ROFL


I found the threads on my own. And the only thing I read that was weak was your participation in them.

Hydrae
11-26-2005, 07:01 PM
As has been noted, this is awfully close to the way the doctors and drug companies think. Yet pot is still illegal. :shake:

Mr. Kotter
11-26-2005, 08:11 PM
Okay...

Alternative thread title: It Was The Zoloft Talking....

Shit....you & Phil are talking again. Well, you lasted longer than I did. :)

Mr. Kotter
11-26-2005, 08:14 PM
I'm not bitching at anyone.... yet. I was just curious as to WTF took place that would require one of the cooler posters on the board to make an apology.

You remember what I did, don't you? :shrug:



:p

FloridaChief
11-26-2005, 08:16 PM
Shit....you & Phil are talking again.


WHO SAID THAT?!?

Nothing has changed--not one iota!

Mr. Kotter
11-26-2005, 08:17 PM
WHO SAID THAT?!?

Nothing has changed--not one iota!

You quoted him; and responded.... :shrug:

Yeah, sure. You are suckin' up to him now, so you can sample those Ribs he's become famous for next time you come to a game. If he included absythe to wash it down....you'd be putty in his hands. Heh.

BTW Phil, how much will a sample cost me at the Bronco tailgate? :)

keg in kc
11-26-2005, 10:03 PM
BTW Phil, how much will a sample cost me at the Bronco tailgate? You should really work on phrasing your questions better. No telling what kind of "sample" phil would try to give you.

Mr. Kotter
11-26-2005, 10:05 PM
You should really work on phrasing your questions better. No telling what kind of "sample" phil would try to give you.

Heh. Good point. FTR, I was talkin' RIBS Phil, RIBS......

Goddess Tara
11-26-2005, 11:53 PM
Zoloft is good stuff. Didn't help with my depression but I was one of the lucky ladies who got the breast enlargement side effect. Whoo hoo!

Mr. Kotter
11-27-2005, 12:00 AM
Zoloft is good stuff. Didn't help with my depression but I was one of the lucky ladies who got the breast enlargement side effect. Whoo hoo!

chiefs4me.....is this your new ID? :hmmm:

ExtremeChief
11-27-2005, 08:18 AM
Zoloft just makes me want to kill bouncing marshmellows with eyes. Little bastards.

BigMeatballDave
11-28-2005, 12:00 AM
chiefs4me.....is this your new ID? :hmmm:No, actually, that is my sons Mom. She's lurked here for years...