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cadmonkey
12-01-2005, 07:36 AM
http://www.barstoolsports.com/article/The_Ten_Worst_Teams_to_Be_a_Fan_Of/593/ (http://)

The Ten Worst Teams to Be a Fan Of
By Dan McCarthy

It's the holiday season. And even though it would probably be easy for me to be thankful for what I have, I'd rather be thankful for what I don't have: an allegiance to one of these teams.

10) Florida State University

Being a graduate of Florida State must be tough. Not only do you have to deal with constantly getting tooled on about the quality of your education, it's easy to let the jokes distract you from the air conditioner you're repairing. As far as the football team goes, I know our culture has predisposed us to ignore any crime by a big-name athlete short of rape or murder, but come on. You do have to congratulate their receivers on their ability to run so well while wearing those GPS-tracking ankle bracelets, though. Also, like Tennessee, they're always mentioned in discussions of the best teams in recent memory, even though their résumé doesn't really stack up with the hype.

9) Baltimore Orioles

Orioles fans are the bastard stepchildren of the AL East. If it weren't for Cal Ripken Jr. (whose record is still probably the most overrated sports accomplishment of the last thirty years) and Rafael Palmeiro becoming one of the most universally disliked players in the history of baseball, people would have forgotten the Orioles existed by now. Never mind the fact that "egomaniacal control freak" doesn't begin to describe owner Peter Angelos.

8) Philadelphia Eagles

The Eagles are the Buffalo Bills of the 21st century, except they don't make you feel sorry for them. Still, the personal crisis that Eagles fans must have gone through this season would have been enough to drive anyone crazy. As I write this, three guys from Philly are probably busting Rae Carruth out of prison to engineer an emergency hit on Terrell Owens.

7) Los Angeles Clippers

They would be higher on this list for all the obvious reasons (terrible owner, stars refuse to play there, haven't made the playoffs since the time of Christ), but even within Los Angeles nobody seems to care that they exist. It looks like they're turning things around, though. Just like every season.

6) Detroit Lions

One playoff win since 1957. Never-ending quarterback controversy. They play in Detroit. Even I hate the Lions, because they make every Thanksgiving boring. Every year I go through an unpleasant emotional rollercoaster during the five minutes when I finish dinner, sit down contentedly in front of the TV, and then realize the Lions are down 25 points five minutes after the opening kickoff and that I'll have to listen to two more hours of John Madden rambling incoherently.

5) Arizona Cardinals

Come on. I will give anyone in a 500-mile radius of this city ten bucks if they can name more than 5 players who have ever played for the Cardinals.

4) Chicago Cubs

You know how every year in baseball there's one unexpected contender that ends up surprising everyone and becoming the feel-good story of the year? (Okay, maybe not in baseball; I could probably predict the 2008 playoff picture right now.) The Cubs have exhausted their reservoir of feel-good years. No matter how many times they make the playoffs or how long it's been since their last trip, they'll be swamped in irritating stories about their past. You can't be a lovable loser if everyone else hates you. Also, everyone in Boston seems to be hyperventilating about the Globe's virtual monopoly on information that gets published about the Red Sox. The Tribune Company has been doing that with the Cubs for years. And since rooting for the Cubs has become about the experience rather than the destination, there's no pressure on the ownership to win.

3) New Orleans Saints

You really want them to succeed, what with the hurricane and all, but they just can't do it. You could almost say Katrina made their fan base less supportive, because they were given the same "inspirational" mantle as other teams that stepped it up under extreme circumstances (like the 2001 Yankees), without anyone remembering that they're the Saints. Internal conflict and strife follow this team everywhere. At the start of the season they were America's Team, but now I think America's relationship with the Saints is pretty much summed up by my reaction to finding out what tonight's Sunday Night Football game was. "Saints-Jets… well, at least there's a new Family Guy on."

2) Cleveland Browns

America loves winners, but it also needs losers. When it comes to ineptitude, we like to have one single target that springs to mind (minorities, the South, France), and when it comes to sports, the city of Cleveland fills that void. Browns fans have experienced the dizzying highs, crushing lows, and creamy middles of the NFL and had their hearts ripped out at all points. The list of insults is almost too long to catalog: being the tragic loser in the '87 and '88 AFC Championships, having their franchise taken away, and now being a virtual afterthought in their own division. This says nothing of the fact that God allowed Art Modell's Balti-Cleveland Raven-Browns to win the 2001 Super Bowl out of spite.

1) New York Yankees

Sure, the team's great, but as a fan you're spending an extra two grand a year on hair oil, wax for your pimp-stache, and gold jewelry.

Bootlegged
12-01-2005, 08:08 AM
How Mizzou is not #1 is beyond me.

Mark M
12-01-2005, 08:12 AM
Hell, how the Royals aren't on that list doesn't make sense either.

Or does the team actually need to have fans to make the list?

MM
~~:hmmm: ;)

Dr. Facebook Fever
12-01-2005, 08:18 AM
I'm shocked and appalled that the Royals didn't make the list. He probably forgot about them.

Douche Baggins
12-01-2005, 08:20 AM
The Royals won a goddamn world series.

The Rangers should be on the list before them. Kindly strange yourself.

Mark M
12-01-2005, 08:25 AM
The Royals won a goddamn world series.

The Rangers should be on the list before them.
And the Browns went to 10 of 11 NFL championships in the '50s. So what?

Since 1990, the team's sucked, currently sucks, and will suck for the foreseeable future. Their chance to not suck is about the same as you having sex with Jessica Alba in the middle of Times Square and having it broadcast live during the 700 Club.

Kindly strange yourself.
You want me to sit on my hand until it falls asleep, and then masturbate?

Sick, man ... just sick.

MM
~~:shake: ;)

Katipan
12-01-2005, 08:27 AM
5) Arizona Cardinals

Come on. I will give anyone in a 500-mile radius of this city ten bucks if they can name more than 5 players who have ever played for the Cardinals.

i came close, but failed.

Douche Baggins
12-01-2005, 08:28 AM
And the Browns went to 10 of 11 NFL championships in the '50s. So what?

Since 1990, the team's sucked, currently sucks, and will suck for the foreseeable future. Their chance to not suck is about the same as you having sex with Jessica Alba in the middle of Times Square and having it broadcast live during the 700 Club.

Sorry, bad comparison. You won the World Series in 85. The Rangers have ONE playoff win to their name in franchise history. And apart from a handful of playoff seasons in the 90s, they too have sucked. The Royals DO NOT belong on this list.


You want me to sit on my hand until it falls asleep, and then masturbate?

Sick, man ... just sick.

MM
~~:shake: ;)

Ok, I was going to edit my post, but this response is too goddamn funny! ROFL

Mark M
12-01-2005, 08:36 AM
Sorry, bad comparison. You won the World Series in 85. The Rangers have ONE playoff win to their name in franchise history. And apart from a handful of playoff seasons in the 90s, they too have sucked. The Royals DO NOT belong on this list.

One championship in nearly 40 years means it doesn't suck to be a fan of the team.

Name me another team in all of sports that, before the season even starts, has ZERO legitamate shot at winning a championship. People used to think that of the Bengals, but they've turned it around. The Cards suck, but at least they're not overspent by every other team (some to a factor of 6).

The Rangers may have sucked in the past, but they have the $$ to actually compete if they wanted to. The Royals don't.

MM
~~:shake:

Douche Baggins
12-01-2005, 08:39 AM
One championship in nearly 40 years means it doesn't suck to be a fan of the team.

Name me another team in all of sports that, before the season even starts, has ZERO legitamate shot at winning a championship. People used to think that of the Bengals, but they've turned it around. The Cards suck, but at least they're not overspent by every other team (some to a factor of 6).

The Rangers may have sucked in the past, but they have the $$ to actually compete if they wanted to. The Royals don't.

MM
~~:shake:

Yes, that sucks. But this is the ten WORST teams in all of pro sports. There ARE worse teams to root for, believe it or not.

Archie F. Swin
12-01-2005, 08:48 AM
The only people whom have heard of the Royals reside between Colum...err Lexington and Topeka.

angryllama
12-01-2005, 08:50 AM
I'm going to go ahead and point out the obvious here...how on earth did the Chiefs not make that list?

Douche Baggins
12-01-2005, 08:51 AM
I'm going to go ahead and point out the obvious here...how on earth did the Chiefs not make that list?

Are you kidding me? We've been to two Super Bowls and we were one of the best teams of 90s.

Not even close.

HemiEd
12-01-2005, 08:53 AM
I am not an NBA fan, but how do the Golden State Warriors and the Southern Cal Clippers not make this list.

angryllama
12-01-2005, 08:54 AM
Are you kidding me? We've been to two Super Bowls and we were one of the best teams of 90s.

Not even close.

One of the best teams of the 90's? How many NFL or AFC championships do you have to show for that?

Douche Baggins
12-01-2005, 08:54 AM
One of the best teams of the 90's? How many NFL or AFC championships do you have to show for that?

Eat the corn nuggets out of my shit, donk troll.

angryllama
12-01-2005, 08:57 AM
Eat the corn nuggets out of my shit, donk troll.


That's what I thought.

Mark M
12-01-2005, 08:58 AM
There ARE worse teams to root for, believe it or not.

Not.

MM
~~:D