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View Full Version : Stifle yourself, Edith!


Braincase
12-09-2005, 02:46 PM
Twice in the last week or so I found myself engaged in lilvely banter, one with a student of mine, a 24 year old kid who takes pride in being a smartass, the other a coworker who takes pride in being a Jersey boy who's quick on his feet. On both occassions, we reached a point where we are trading barbs, and I stifled them both - made some crack that just left them at a complete loss for words.

Dontcha just love it when that happens?

I know for some folks like Iowanian and Jenny Gump, watching people stumble all over themselves (for two very separate reasons - Iowanian in a swimsuit might actually cause more accidents).

When has it happened for you?

Donger
12-09-2005, 02:56 PM
Twice in the last week or so I found myself engaged in lilvely banter, one with a student of mine, a 24 year old kid who takes pride in being a smartass, the other a coworker who takes pride in being a Jersey boy who's quick on his feet. On both occassions, we reached a point where we are trading barbs, and I stifled them both - made some crack that just left them at a complete loss for words.

Dontcha just love it when that happens?

I know for some folks like Iowanian and Jenny Gump, watching people stumble all over themselves (for two very separate reasons - Iowanian in a swimsuit might actually cause more accidents).

When has it happened for you?

Never.

chagrin
12-09-2005, 03:06 PM
In college, I worked at both the college radio station as the rock morning show guy and also across town I did a mid day show at a country station. Everybody knew who I was and I had the well deserved rep for being "over the top" on the air and in public at remotes and stuff.

One day I am walking across campus and this big girl stops me and says, "hey you're an asshole" and I stopped long enough to say, "and you're a fat bitch" her jaw sunk and everyone around was laughing their asses off. I kept walking - I never saw her anywhere again.

Mr. Kotter
12-09-2005, 03:11 PM
A student called me an "asshole" the other day. I replied, "That's Mr. Asshole to you. Now follow me."

I once jokingly told my wrestling team during practice, "eh, if you play basketball your dicks will shrivel up." I got called in by my VP, and he asked me: "Did you tell your wrestlers that basketball players have small penises?" I said, "Nope. I told 'em their dicks would shrivel up if they played it."

chagrin
12-09-2005, 03:15 PM
Once at a Mardi Gras Parade, me and my buddy Dave were cat calling some of the hot chicks on one of the floats. Some older broad (like, 60) came up to us and said that we needed to stop being so rude. To that my buddy Dave replaied, "You know what, you need a good f*ckin' that's what you need" she turned red and walked away

Donger
12-09-2005, 03:31 PM
Oh. I misunderstood the question.

Yes. For some reason, a few of my hygiene threads have left people speechless.

Mr. Kotter
12-09-2005, 03:37 PM
Oh. I misunderstood the question.

Yes. For some reason, a few of my hygiene threads have left people speechless.

No kidding. Ain't it time for you to go wash your ass....er, or is it legs?

Donger
12-09-2005, 03:39 PM
No kidding. Ain't it time for you to go wash your ass....er, or is it legs?

Wash my ass? Why?

Mr. Kotter
12-09-2005, 03:40 PM
Wash my ass? Why?

ROFL

FTR, gochiefs asked about it.

Donger
12-09-2005, 03:42 PM
ROFL

FTR, gochiefs asked about it.

Gochiefs asked if I washed my ass?

That's moderately disturbing.

Mr. Kotter
12-09-2005, 03:44 PM
Gochiefs asked if I washed my ass?

That's moderately disturbing.

Moderately? MODERATELY?


:shake:


ROFL

FloridaChief
12-09-2005, 03:51 PM
Moderately? MODERATELY?

Hey Rob, did I PM you recently? I think I did, but I'm not certain & apparently didn't save a copy of the message.

Donger
12-09-2005, 03:52 PM
Ok, here's one: is it weird if one uses a hair dryer to dry off one's crotch after taking a shower?

Rausch
12-09-2005, 03:58 PM
I was forced to take a cultural diversity class.

Of course I failed it the first time. My liberal-indoctrination was incomplete...

The following semester I already knew what she'd say every day of class. I prepared well thought out and detailed arguments to pimp-smack her. Every day. The whole semester.

She finally said that no one was learning anything because I kept talking.

I said no one was learning anything because she kept talking.

She gave me a B just to get me the **** out of her class...

Ralphy Boy
12-09-2005, 03:58 PM
I once had a discussion about abortion with a very left wing co-worker. Basically imagine if Ebenezer Scrooge had been a perverted, left wing, gay loving, tree hugging liberal, married to a psycho bitch...

...all hell, it would have been easier to say imagine Bill Clinton in a bad mood that lasted for 25 years.

Anyway, so he's going on about how sometimes an abortion is the best thing for a young mother..."for instance, my daughter got pregant when she was a senior in high school and she wanted to keep it. But her mother and I knew that we'd be the ones raising it, so we made her get one".
Upon hearing that I about popped a gasket, a grandparent wanting their own grandchild killed even though the mother wanted to keep it. The only reply I could muster was: "and do you talk to your daughter much these days?"

His jaw dropped and he studdered for a minute before letting out a very reflective "no".

Mark M
12-09-2005, 04:02 PM
It happened damn near every time Packfan and I got into it.

In real life, I do it to The Mrs. all the time.

Thank god we have a comfy couch ...

MM
~~:D

chiefs4me
12-09-2005, 04:03 PM
Ok, here's one: is it weird if one uses a hair dryer to dry off one's crotch after taking a shower?










It's weird to ask if anyone does it......:rolleyes:

Donger
12-09-2005, 04:04 PM
It's weird to ask if anyone does it......:rolleyes:

Be quiet, you worthless piece of flotsam.

Rausch
12-09-2005, 04:05 PM
It happened damn near every time Packfan and I got into it.

In real life, I do it to The Mrs. all the time.

Thank god we have a comfy couch ...

MM
~~:D

I look forward to another "healthy debate" with Mrs M.

I think I'll tell her I'm a born-again Mormon who accepts the original teachings of the church... :)

Braincase
12-09-2005, 04:05 PM
Ok, here's one: is it weird if one uses a hair dryer to dry off one's crotch after taking a shower?

You should try it in during the shower.

Rausch
12-09-2005, 04:06 PM
Be quiet, you worthless piece of flotsam.

Redundant...

chiefs4me
12-09-2005, 04:08 PM
Be quiet, you worthless piece of flotsam.




:rolleyes: freak

Donger
12-09-2005, 04:36 PM
Redundant...

Some flotsam ends up having some value.

Rausch
12-09-2005, 04:39 PM
Some flotsam ends up having some value.

http://dictionary.cambridge.org/define.asp?key=29825&dict=CALD

flotsam
noun [U] (ALSO flotsam and jetsam)
1 pieces of broken wood and other waste materials found on the beach or floating on the sea:
We wandered along the shore, stepping over the flotsam that had washed up in the night.

2 anything or anyone that is unwanted or worthless

Donger
12-09-2005, 04:40 PM
http://dictionary.cambridge.org/define.asp?key=29825&dict=CALD

The first definition is applicable. Some people make rather nice furniture out of flotsam.

Rausch
12-09-2005, 04:42 PM
The first definition is applicable. Some people make rather nice furniture out of flotsam.
:hmmm:

Donger
12-09-2005, 04:44 PM
:hmmm:

It's twue! It's twue!

Google driftwood furniture.

Rausch
12-09-2005, 04:50 PM
It's twue! It's twue!

Google driftwood furniture.

It's like the ****ing pet rock all over again...

Donger
12-09-2005, 04:52 PM
It's like the ****ing pet rock all over again...

Some of it really is pretty cool. My folks have a table made of the timbers of some old shipwreck.

chagrin
12-09-2005, 05:18 PM
It's weird to ask if anyone does it......:rolleyes:


Well, that makes me wonder - How do you groom the racing stripe?

Mr. Kotter
12-09-2005, 06:08 PM
Hey Rob, did I PM you recently? I think I did, but I'm not certain & apparently didn't save a copy of the message.

Yup. I did.

Taco John
12-09-2005, 06:19 PM
I once had a discussion about abortion with a very left wing co-worker. Basically imagine if Ebenezer Scrooge had been a perverted, left wing, gay loving, tree hugging liberal, married to a psycho bitch...

...all hell, it would have been easier to say imagine Bill Clinton in a bad mood that lasted for 25 years.

Anyway, so he's going on about how sometimes an abortion is the best thing for a young mother..."for instance, my daughter got pregant when she was a senior in high school and she wanted to keep it. But her mother and I knew that we'd be the ones raising it, so we made her get one".
Upon hearing that I about popped a gasket, a grandparent wanting their own grandchild killed even though the mother wanted to keep it. The only reply I could muster was: "and do you talk to your daughter much these days?"

His jaw dropped and he studdered for a minute before letting out a very reflective "no".


That's a beautiful yet sad story...

Taco John
12-09-2005, 06:24 PM
This stuff used to happen to me on a weekly basis in Sunday school... Like when the teacher would be talking to us about the evils of alcohol, and I'd ask about Jesus turning water into wine, and why he'd enable people thusly. The amusing retort was that back then, alcohol content in wine was much less than it is now, as if mother nature has improved her fermentation process... not to mention, would God would make bad wine?

I was happy to get out of Sunday indoctrination. It was a good thing to be in as a kid, because despite the fact that I was supposed to be more conformative to what THEY wanted to be teaching, I was able to get a lot of critical thinking done during the weekly sessions.

Jenny Gump
12-12-2005, 03:44 AM
I've been seeing this guy recently, who is quick on his feet. We love to verbally joust. Plus, when we aren't exchanging scarring insults, he's a very cunning linguist.

Count Zarth
12-12-2005, 04:01 AM
This stuff used to happen to me on a weekly basis in Sunday school... Like when the teacher would be talking to us about the evils of alcohol, and I'd ask about Jesus turning water into wine, and why he'd enable people thusly. The amusing retort was that back then, alcohol content in wine was much less than it is now, as if mother nature has improved her fermentation process... not to mention, would God would make bad wine?

I was happy to get out of Sunday indoctrination. It was a good thing to be in as a kid, because despite the fact that I was supposed to be more conformative to what THEY wanted to be teaching, I was able to get a lot of critical thinking done during the weekly sessions.

I was spoon-fed bullshit from an early age and didn't have a problem with any it.

Lucky for me, I was incredibly lazy. Sorry, yaweh.