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bogie
01-20-2006, 06:43 PM
My wife will be turning 45 on April 7th. I really want to do something special for her birthday. I've concidered chartering a cruise to Catalina with 4 other couples but I'm afraid I'll start hurling. I've concidered partying in my new shed but it's not permitted for that. Any suggestions on a socko boffo birthday party for a 45 year old lady? Thanks!

John Matrix
01-20-2006, 06:50 PM
What are her interests?

Dunit35
01-20-2006, 06:50 PM
Why dont you just take her out to the nicest restuarant in town? Make it her night.

ENDelt260
01-20-2006, 06:51 PM
I suggest doing it in the butt.

nychief
01-20-2006, 06:51 PM
Chiefs seasons tickets.

Dunit35
01-20-2006, 06:51 PM
Yeah, figure out her interests, but dont show her what your doing and completely surprise her with something she totally wasnt expecting.

Boon
01-20-2006, 06:56 PM
I suggest doing it in the butt.


I second that motion.
All in favor, say aye.

ENDelt260
01-20-2006, 06:57 PM
oooh... oooh... tell her you're buying a porsche and leaving her for a 25 year old blonde stripper with fake tits.

nychief
01-20-2006, 06:58 PM
Yeah, figure out her interests, but dont show her what your doing and completely surprise her with something she totally wasnt expecting.


what if her interest is doing it in the butt? Kill two birds with one stone.

bogie
01-20-2006, 07:01 PM
What are her interests?

She enjoys nice restaurants, but we go out to nice places quite a bit. She enjoys hiking with her girlfriends. She's a writer, so she's kind of an intelectual (has way more smarts than me). Not in to theatre or sports. Doesn't really like to get all dressed up and go out. She's a home body. I'm looking for something different. That's why I mentioned Catalina. It would catch her completely off guard but I'm not good on boats and oceans. I know I'm not helping much.

bogie
01-20-2006, 07:03 PM
I suggest doing it in the butt.

Been there, done that.

foxman
01-20-2006, 07:03 PM
Diamonds are a girls best friend....if that doesnt work renta stripper.

bogie
01-20-2006, 07:03 PM
Chiefs seasons tickets.

I wish...

bogie
01-20-2006, 07:04 PM
oooh... oooh... tell her you're buying a porsche and leaving her for a 25 year old blonde stripper with fake tits.

I really don't like fake tits. Her's are real and they're spectacular.

ENDelt260
01-20-2006, 07:05 PM
You're married to Teri Hatcher? Awesome.

bogie
01-20-2006, 07:07 PM
You're married to Teri Hatcher? Awesome.


thank you. ROFL

Dunit35
01-20-2006, 07:08 PM
She enjoys nice restaurants, but we go out to nice places quite a bit. She enjoys hiking with her girlfriends. She's a writer, so she's kind of an intelectual (has way more smarts than me). Not in to theatre or sports. Doesn't really like to get all dressed up and go out. She's a home body. I'm looking for something different. That's why I mentioned Catalina. It would catch her completely off guard but I'm not good on boats and oceans. I know I'm not helping much.

Isnt there some kind of medicine that helps with sea sickness and motion sickness?

I got an idea, why do you get the kids out of the house (if any) and cook the most amazing meal shes ever had. Unless you do that for her all the time.

Nzoner
01-20-2006, 07:09 PM
Been there, done that.

A swingers party would be socko boffo.

bogie
01-20-2006, 07:10 PM
Isnt there some kind of medicine that helps with sea sickness and motion sickness?

I got an idea, why do you get the kids out of the house (if any) and cook the most amazing meal shes ever had. Unless you do that for her all the time.

Hey... that's a good idea.

bogie
01-20-2006, 07:11 PM
A swingers party would be socko boffo.

Yes it would, for me.

Dunit35
01-20-2006, 07:13 PM
Hey... that's a good idea.

I know Im only 20. But I did that to my ex when I was 18 and she almost chit herself.

StcChief
01-20-2006, 07:14 PM
Ask her friends to find out. Just like back in High School.

sedated
01-20-2006, 07:18 PM
Get rid of the kids no matter what you do.

Get her friends to take her out for a bit, make up the house while she's gone
(candles and other sappy woman sh!t). Nice dinner, too.

Then get the condoms and lube ready.

bogie
01-20-2006, 07:20 PM
Ask her friends to find out. Just like back in High School.

I'm sure her friends could offer some good info.

bogie
01-20-2006, 07:22 PM
Get rid of the kids no matter what you do.

Get her friends to take her out for a bit, make up the house while she's gone
(candles and other sappy woman sh!t). Nice dinner, too.

Then get the condoms and lube ready.

lube yes, condoms, not necessary anymore. the sappy woman sh!t is always a winner.

bogie
01-20-2006, 07:24 PM
Any ladies on here care to share an opinion?

Dunit35
01-20-2006, 07:24 PM
lube yes, condoms, not necessary anymore. the sappy woman sh!t is always a winner.

Lube. Ive used that once in my life. You just got to know how to get a women ready and not have to worry about the lube.

sedated
01-20-2006, 07:27 PM
lube yes, condoms, not necessary anymore. the sappy woman sh!t is always a winner.


sorry, forgot it was "wife"


i never go without the things, better safe than sorry

I'll even pull out when I'm wearin one...and she's on the pill.

don't want any unexpected and totally unwanted little ones.

sedated
01-20-2006, 07:27 PM
Lube. Ive used that once in my life. You just got to know how to get a women ready and not have to worry about the lube.


what if you're fuggin her in the ass, smart guy?

bogie
01-20-2006, 07:27 PM
yea well you're dating 18 year olds. you lucky b@stard!

bogie
01-20-2006, 07:28 PM
sorry, forgot it was "wife"


i never go without the things, better safe than sorry

I'll even pull out when I'm wearin one...and she's on the pill.

don't want any unexpected and totally unwanted little ones.

snip, snip

Dunit35
01-20-2006, 07:29 PM
what if you're fuggin her in the ass, smart guy?

Oh...forgot about that style. Its been so long since Ive had sex in any style, I completely forgot. Ok lube it is.

ArrowheadHawk
01-20-2006, 07:29 PM
snip, snip
ouch, ouch

bogie
01-20-2006, 07:30 PM
Oh...forgot about that style. Its been so long since Ive had sex in any style, I completely forgot. Ok lube it is.

You're 20 and it's been a long time? You gotta get out more.

Dunit35
01-20-2006, 07:30 PM
sorry, forgot it was "wife"


i never go without the things, better safe than sorry

I'll even pull out when I'm wearin one...and she's on the pill.

don't want any unexpected and totally unwanted little ones.

My ex and I use to do it that way. My theory always was if the lil swimmer can get through the condom, the spermicidal lubricant and the pill its going to be one badass kid. You got yourself another Chuck Norris.

bogie
01-20-2006, 07:31 PM
ouch, ouch

yep, yep

Dunit35
01-20-2006, 07:31 PM
yea well you're dating 18 year olds. you lucky b@stard!


True dat.

Dunit35
01-20-2006, 07:33 PM
You're 20 and it's been a long time? You gotta get out more.

True story. About a month ago I went to a party got completely trashed and a lady friend came and picked me up, we went to the bar and danced for a few hours. I dont think I had ever been so waisted before. Long story short, she wanted me to stay with her that night, I said yes, but by the time I hit the bed I passed out and was throwing up everywhere. Thank god I didnt sleep with her, she was twice my size.

Simply Red
01-20-2006, 07:37 PM
I'd recommend sticking with the cruise. Buy some dramimine patches. They are sea-sick preventive medication. God please don't take her to the shed you are embarassing me. Because, "To romance with no finance is a damned nuisance".

sedated
01-20-2006, 07:37 PM
snip, snip


little early for that, I'm only 24

bogie
01-20-2006, 07:40 PM
little early for that, I'm only 24

Definately too early for you. GOD... I am so old!!!

bogie
01-20-2006, 07:56 PM
I'm going home now. Thanks for your help.

Dunit35
01-20-2006, 07:56 PM
yep...we tried our best.

Nzoner
01-20-2006, 08:08 PM
You're 20 and it's been a long time? You gotta get out more.

No shit,if I was 20 and single again the last place I am on a friday night is a messageboard.

Iowanian
01-20-2006, 09:23 PM
Get her a tshirt and a dildo.

If she doesn't like the tshirt..........

TinyEvel
01-21-2006, 12:15 AM
Bogie, sounds like you live in SoCal (like me).
If you want to avoid the boat thing, and she likes Hiking, how about a cabin in Idyllwild? (mountains above Palm Springs) or Arrowhead (tho Arrowhead would be snowy)
I know some incredible places in Baja and Mexico. Warm, chicky, and you could disappear and wear nothing but your bathing suit for three days straight.
Live theater is always a good one.
Santa Barbara, San Diego, Bay Area are all nice, there's wine tasting stuff in Temecula and North of Santa Barbara.

I would say Vegas, but it doesn;t sound like her thing.
Big bucks and Sedona, AZ is a great option. She'd probably really dig that. I recommend L' au Berge.

The rest of you guys, flame away.

(I'll even add that I took my wife to "Champions on Ice" for her 30th -- that's right, but it was the first time ever I was the only guy pissin' in the 40-foot horse trough at the Sports Arena)

KS Smitty
01-21-2006, 12:28 AM
My wife will be turning 45 on April 7th. I really want to do something special for her birthday. I've concidered chartering a cruise to Catalina with 4 other couples but I'm afraid I'll start hurling. I've concidered partying in my new shed but it's not permitted for that. Any suggestions on a socko boffo birthday party for a 45 year old lady? Thanks!

Well bogie ol' bud I was already to hep ya 'til the last few words in yer sentence...

As a woman nearing 45, (see I never used old at all) I want what I want. So, if a cruise isn't what I want I could care less if you puke your guts out the entire time, conversely if a cruise is what I really want I could care less if you puke your guts out the entire time. But what I really want on my 45th birthday (June 26 everyone, jot it down) is to just have a happy, relaxed (seriously that's important), fun time with people that I (that means me not us) enjoy being with and that enjoy being with me. If I like to dance make sure there's tunes, if I like to sing get the kroakyoaky machine out, if I like wild sex well you know what to do. Just do it!

manchambo
01-21-2006, 01:29 AM
I suggest doing it in the butt.

Hers or his?

stumppy
01-21-2006, 01:45 AM
My ex and I use to do it that way. My theory always was if the lil swimmer can get through the condom, the spermicidal lubricant and the pill its going to be one badass kid. You got yourself another Chuck Norris.


More like another Houdini.

greg63
01-21-2006, 01:49 AM
Dinner and a movie is cliché, but reliable. Here's some “if's” for ya:


If ya have kids send them to an over night stay with friends or family.


If she works take the day off, if possible, and have all the household chores done before she gets home, then when she gets home have a candle light dinner waiting for her. Then take her to a movie, and then back home where you both use your imaginations.

bogie
01-23-2006, 01:23 PM
Bogie, sounds like you live in SoCal (like me).
If you want to avoid the boat thing, and she likes Hiking, how about a cabin in Idyllwild? (mountains above Palm Springs) or Arrowhead (tho Arrowhead would be snowy)
I know some incredible places in Baja and Mexico. Warm, chicky, and you could disappear and wear nothing but your bathing suit for three days straight.
Live theater is always a good one.
Santa Barbara, San Diego, Bay Area are all nice, there's wine tasting stuff in Temecula and North of Santa Barbara.

I would say Vegas, but it doesn;t sound like her thing.
Big bucks and Sedona, AZ is a great option. She'd probably really dig that. I recommend L' au Berge.

The rest of you guys, flame away.

(I'll even add that I took my wife to "Champions on Ice" for her 30th -- that's right, but it was the first time ever I was the only guy pissin' in the 40-foot horse trough at the Sports Arena)

I would love to take her away, but we have a 7 year old that's not very good at sleep overs yet. We could get away for 1 night at the most and would probably need to be somewhere close in case the sleep over doesn't work out. I LOVE live theater she does not. I'm thinking Santa Barbara may be a good idea. We honeymooned there. Spent the night at the San Yasidro Ranch. Maybe I can splurge and book a night there.

bogie
01-23-2006, 01:27 PM
Well bogie ol' bud I was already to hep ya 'til the last few words in yer sentence...

As a woman nearing 45, (see I never used old at all) I want what I want. So, if a cruise isn't what I want I could care less if you puke your guts out the entire time, conversely if a cruise is what I really want I could care less if you puke your guts out the entire time. But what I really want on my 45th birthday (June 26 everyone, jot it down) is to just have a happy, relaxed (seriously that's important), fun time with people that I (that means me not us) enjoy being with and that enjoy being with me. If I like to dance make sure there's tunes, if I like to sing get the kroakyoaky machine out, if I like wild sex well you know what to do. Just do it!

Really, if your SO took you on a cruise and spent the entire time leaning over the edge of the boat puking, that sounds like a good time to you? Sounds like a nice meal at home (she doesn't lift a finger) with a few friends and drinks could work.

bogie
01-23-2006, 01:31 PM
Dinner and a movie is cliché, but reliable. Here's some “if's” for ya:


If ya have kids send them to an over night stay with friends or family.


If she works take the day off, if possible, and have all the household chores done before she gets home, then when she gets home have a candle light dinner waiting for her. Then take her to a movie, and then back home where you both use your imaginations.

She's a stay at home Mom/writer. I'm leaning towards cooking her a good meal. Her favorite meal is pasta and sea food.

Simplex3
01-23-2006, 01:36 PM
...but I'm not good on boats and oceans. I know I'm not helping much.
Ginger. And no, not the Gilligan's Island kind. Ginger root or some other ginger based product should help a TON. Take some ginger and get in a boat w/o the wife as a test run to make sure you can hang if you really think she'd enjoy the trip.