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John Matrix
01-21-2006, 06:08 PM
I am a graduate student in a small college town. As many of you know, college towns are notorious for their shitty housing. Most of the residences in town are run down, and the somewhat nice ones are generally priced as though they are on the upper west side of Manhattan. What makes things worse are the endless petty ordinances that landlords often put up in order to discourage prospective renters, or make their lives a living hell.

I am not particularly good with authority. If I was a professional athlete, I’d probably be a locker room cancer because I hate having people tell me what to do, especially when I don’t think they are as capable as I am in a given task. I’m an elitist and a dickhead, in short, but sometimes it’s entertaining.

My current neighbors are trifling bitches. Despite the fact that there is a newly paved sidewalk that leads directly to the asphalt pad on which their cars are parked, for some reason they feel the need to traipse through the grass in order to travel the unbearable 30 foot distance. Perhaps that’s because after seeing one of them for the first time, my mom said, “you could serve dinner on that girl’s ass.”—after all it must be stressful.

Of course, these girls have to be in a sorority, because all overweight annoying girls whose parents pay their way are always in a sorority. It’s one of the axioms of the universe, right up their with the constant of the speed of light. These ‘sorostitutes’ always seem to have a sense of entitlement somewhere north of Maurice Clarett. It makes living next to them, well a pain in the ass. It’s ok when they are up til 4 am playing music over their very shitty speakers (I could tolerate it if it weren’t for the suck ass sound coming from their goddamn shelf system piece of monkey shit), but yet it’s inconvenient for them to not walk on the sidewalk because they don’t want to walk in my dog’s poop, as if dog shit is somehow hard to locate. You’d think that girls who spend the majority of their post-secondary education on their knees would at least have a passing familiarity with the ground. Nevertheless, I have always committed a cardinal sin whenever they happen to step in poop. Big deal I figure, after all, it’s only dog shit—wipe it off in the grass you love to walk in so much, and go blow some guy with a popped collar.

I love irony. For example, these girls are so scandalized by the excretion of an animal that eats a diet far healthier than nearly all people do, yet they willingly swallow the ejaculate of men they don’t even know. Alas, I am not the king of the universe, so perhaps I shouldn’t judge. Well, as bitches are wont to do, they bitched, complaining to our landlords numerous times about the piles of poop in the yard. I complied for the most part and picked them up whenever the incessant complaining would get unbearable, but after winter break I said to myself, “**** it,” and didn’t pick up a piece of crap for about six weeks. I was fortunate that a layer of snow concealed the shit for the most part, but now unseasonable weather has melted the snow off, exposing, well…a shitload of shit.

I got a letter from my landlord today informing me that if I did not pick up the poop today that I would be forced to move my dog out. Well **** that I thought to myself. I considered various forms of retribution, but in the end figured what the hell and picked all the shit up. I now have a 30 gallon trash bag filled with at least 25 pounds of dog poop in it (6 weeks of poop for a 60 pound dog is a lot of shit). Thus I have complied with the wishes of my landlord, but now I have all this shit that is just itching for me to do something with it. Perhaps I could make a shit airbag, like in “Men at Work”, or find a way to put it all in the trunks of the whores next door. Then again, I guess I could just light it all on fire on their doorstep in a ritual of purification. Nevertheless, attached are photos of the poop, and me, with a shit eating grin holding my prize aloft.

Cochise
01-21-2006, 06:11 PM
I don't think I have lived anywhere that wouldn't make a renter pick up their dog's poo.

Reaper16
01-21-2006, 06:15 PM
you cant attach pics in the 1st post

John Matrix
01-21-2006, 06:16 PM
Enjoy

http://xdd.xanga.com/5ad88b6163d3130670458/b21406700.jpg
http://x9f.xanga.com/634b17f60353030670519/b21406737.jpg

Reaper16
01-21-2006, 06:17 PM
yeah, id be soooo tempted to do something mischievious with that bag.

John Matrix
01-21-2006, 06:18 PM
Perhaps we should start a poll then.

Skip Towne
01-21-2006, 06:27 PM
I'd love to hear what they have to say about you.

Claynus
01-21-2006, 06:29 PM
**** polls, just take suggestions.

This is your best post ever, BTW, nice work.

Do they have a back porch or something. Stow the shit under it.

Cochise
01-21-2006, 06:30 PM
Do they have a mail slot?

John Matrix
01-21-2006, 06:32 PM
No porch, although my landlords might...It's the bitches next door that I truly can't stand. There is central air in the apartments, perhaps I can find a way to put shit on the intake so their house smells like poop?

Dunit35
01-21-2006, 06:32 PM
Better watch out with the flaming dog poo trick. Hahaha, one time a couple buddies of mine, lit a bag of poo on my neighbors porch and before you know it, the rug on the porch was on fire. She didnt press charges though. I worked with her as well so I talked her out of it. She accepted a simple apology from them. Funny as chit though.

John Matrix
01-21-2006, 06:32 PM
What would happen if I packed the exhaust of their cars with dog shit?

Dunit35
01-21-2006, 06:35 PM
Why dont you put it under the ladies seats in their cars? Do this in the dark. Cut a hole in their seats, somewhere where they cant see it and fill the insides of the seat with the poo.

Psyko Tek
01-21-2006, 06:36 PM
yeah, id be soooo tempted to do something mischievious with that bag.


one of my favorites is put it in a box and leave it on top of your car at a mall

give some one a surprise
if you can find an expensive box so much the better

John Matrix
01-21-2006, 06:41 PM
Idea...they have a gas grill that they are quite fond of. I could put some of the shit in with the fake coals and when they fire it up next time...flaming shit...

Phobia
01-21-2006, 07:01 PM
I am not particularly good with authority. .... I’m an elitist and a dickhead, in short,


You don't say? http://robmexico.blogspot.com/2005/11/nuge-would-be-proud.html

FloridaChief
01-21-2006, 07:10 PM
Damn...this 'knocker is the biggest prickhead that's ever posted on this board...

FloridaChief
01-21-2006, 07:10 PM
Oh, and John Matrix is pretty f*ckin' bad as well...

LocoChiefsFan
01-21-2006, 07:17 PM
Kirksville-Where people make the difference.

chagrin
01-21-2006, 07:18 PM
That doesn't look like 25 lbs a crap.

As far as what you could do, I don't mean to be a jerk here but you could try taking responsibility for your animal - a dog needs to have someone clean up after it.

But, if you really just want to **** with them, and you don't care about living there, simply get some latex gloves and smear the shit all over their vehicles, door knobs and under the door handles on the vehicles as well. You could also buy a large bag of laundry detergent and 'dump' it on their yard and then water it.

Skip Towne
01-21-2006, 07:19 PM
So Matrix is Black Jack Savage?

jspchief
01-21-2006, 07:20 PM
I'm sure you already realize this, but you will be the likely suspect of any dogshit related prank you pull.

Maybe instead, you should accept that picking up your pet's waste is part of owning a pet, especially when you are sharing property with someone else.

Sometimes being the better man is the best route.

stumppy
01-21-2006, 07:54 PM
Why don't you pick up after your dog ?

If I had to share a yard with someone who was being a prick about picking up their dog's shit I'd make sure his vehicle smelled like dog shit and his burgers had a little extra flavor next time he grilled out.

Frazod
01-21-2006, 07:56 PM
Kirksville-Where people make the difference.

Especially the crickers. :D

Skip Towne
01-21-2006, 07:59 PM
Especially the crickers. :D
What's a cricker?

Frazod
01-21-2006, 08:04 PM
What's a cricker?

You have to be one of us to understand.

John Matrix
01-21-2006, 08:27 PM
You have to be one of us to understand.

The etymology of cricker is just...wow.

John Matrix
01-21-2006, 08:28 PM
That doesn't look like 25 lbs a crap.

As far as what you could do, I don't mean to be a jerk here but you could try taking responsibility for your animal - a dog needs to have someone clean up after it.

But, if you really just want to **** with them, and you don't care about living there, simply get some latex gloves and smear the shit all over their vehicles, door knobs and under the door handles on the vehicles as well. You could also buy a large bag of laundry detergent and 'dump' it on their yard and then water it.


Responsibility....pphhh....that blows. :)

John Matrix
01-21-2006, 08:42 PM
Kirksville-Where people make the difference.

Any the mayor burns down her bar for insurance money...:bang:

Frazod
01-21-2006, 08:46 PM
Any the mayor burns down her bar for insurance money...:bang:

Too Tall's, right? That's the second time it burned. Suspicious circumstances the first time as well.

John Matrix
01-21-2006, 08:50 PM
Yep Too Tall's...and she got implicated for a shady land deal out at Hazel Creek...she was like a cricker Nixon.

John Matrix
01-21-2006, 08:54 PM
You don't say? http://robmexico.blogspot.com/2005/11/nuge-would-be-proud.html

Glad to see you research your opposition. Shouldn't you be getting back to your column that no one reads? :whackit::D

Skip Towne
01-21-2006, 09:01 PM
We had a bar in Iola that burned down twice. After that we called it "The Flame Club" no matter what the owner called it.

Anyong Bluth
01-21-2006, 09:02 PM
pick up your shit - sounds like you've got more of a problem with the people that you live around than having pick it up.


if you lived in any major city, they would require you pick it up. its called having consideration for others around you.

weak sauce

Psyko Tek
01-21-2006, 09:09 PM
You don't say? http://robmexico.blogspot.com/2005/11/nuge-would-be-proud.html


damn there's something that make me a proud to be here
the least PC site
I like that

and don't get racist on my ass

John Matrix
01-21-2006, 09:10 PM
pick up your shit - sounds like you've got more of a problem with the people that you live around than having pick it up.


if you lived in any major city, they would require you pick it up. its called having consideration for others around you.

weak sauce
rochambeau

Fat Elvis
01-21-2006, 10:02 PM
You're a grad student at Truman State who takes pictures of himself with big bags of dog shit and complains about his fat sorority girl neighbors on the internet.

You claim to be an elitist.

I hate to break it to you, but you're just retarded.

John Matrix
01-21-2006, 10:05 PM
I'm not a grad student at Truman State, but I might very well be retarded. In my own defense, I do complain about them in real life...

However, if you don't like it, you can go f*ck yourself, Berkman.

Phobia
01-21-2006, 10:51 PM
Glad to see you research your opposition. Shouldn't you be getting back to your column that no one reads? :whackit::D

"Opposition"? I'm sure you give yourself entirely too much credit.

John Matrix
01-21-2006, 11:11 PM
You felt it important enough to get in the last word, it must have a kernel of truth.

Phobia
01-21-2006, 11:14 PM
The only idiots who care about the last word are the ones who talk about it. I've had exactly 2 other people accuse me of wanting the last word during my internet experience. Good company you keep kid.

John Matrix
01-21-2006, 11:18 PM
I'm glad to know that you keep running statistics on all of your internet 'experiences'. I don't suppose you could concoct a Sabremetric formula for a hypersensitive jackass who thinks the world revolves around him because he happened to moderate an internet message board at one point.

Phobia
01-21-2006, 11:22 PM
I don't actually find it necessary to use a formula to count to 2.

John Matrix
01-21-2006, 11:24 PM
You are just all over the point, aren't you?

Phobia
01-21-2006, 11:28 PM
Listen to me closely, Howdy Doody.

It's clear that you fancy yourself some kind of intellectual wannabe. I enjoy rapping with that variety of person from time to time. But until you master the concept of the pooper scooper, I'm kinda out of your league. Start out on somebody like royr17 and get back to me in a couple years. Good luck.

|Zach|
01-21-2006, 11:29 PM
Heh, busted.

John Matrix
01-21-2006, 11:30 PM
I'm sure I'll get flamed on this board because I'm not part of your world class wrecking crew, but quite frankly, I don't give a f*ck. I'm sure that you're quite proud of all that you've accomplished, and I must admit, the breadth of your domain does approach that of Alexander the Great, but I must say that I am not as impressed as some of your other lackeys here. If that doesn't get me brownie points, well then I guess that I'll have to find meaning in my life elsewhere, because God knows the opinion of Phobia is really all that any of us mortals should ever concern ourselves with.

May the fleas of a million rats infest your every orifice, and may you drown on the pus of your own boils in the pits of blackest hell.

Have an excellent night.

John Matrix
01-21-2006, 11:32 PM
Oh, squeeze to open the jaws of the Scooper, then twist, twist to uproot the grass and the poop, to wrench it clean. Twist the way your mother should have twisted the coathanger when she was infected with your alien fetus.

John Matrix
01-21-2006, 11:35 PM
Listen to me closely, Howdy Doody.

It's clear that you fancy yourself some kind of intellectual wannabe. I enjoy rapping with that variety of person from time to time. But until you master the concept of the pooper scooper, I'm kinda out of your league. Start out on somebody like royr17 and get back to me in a couple years. Good luck.


Is the Kansas City internet mafia going to put me down for circumventing the chain of message board command? Are all the endless vending machine company reps going to put out a hit on me because I don't follow the golden axiom "never question the will of the almighty Phobia"? The fact that you think someone needs to earn status on here in order to have an argument with you proves that your delusions are so extensive that nothing less than an elephant gun of thorazine in your ass will return you to normalcy.

Phobia
01-21-2006, 11:36 PM
I'd really like to address some of your concerns but I'm afraid you'll make another foolish post before I have a chance to adequately provide you with an answer.

|Zach|
01-21-2006, 11:38 PM
Seriously guys I dont care...

typetypetypetypetypetypetypetypetypetype

typetypetypetypetypetypetypetypetypetype

Really its all stupid to me...


typetypetypetypetypetypetypetypetypetype

typetypetypetypetypetypetypetypetypetype

heh...

Miles
01-21-2006, 11:43 PM
See if you would have just picked up your dog's shit like everyone else does then you...

John Matrix
01-21-2006, 11:44 PM
Where is the fun in that?

Boyceofsummer
01-21-2006, 11:51 PM
Can we get some more oral fixation stories? This is pretty entertaining on a weekend without a Chiefs playoff game. But I digress.

Valiant
01-22-2006, 02:30 AM
Seriously you post a picture of yourself that is that goofy looking, and you make fun of some fat chicks??? And how are you a competant racists, Urkel could bash you gimpy weak ass... How did you pick up the bag of poo, did you get help?

Valiant
01-22-2006, 02:32 AM
We had a bar in Iola that burned down twice. After that we called it "The Flame Club" no matter what the owner called it.


Man we can go a couple different ways with this post...

John Matrix
01-22-2006, 03:35 AM
Seriously you post a picture of yourself that is that goofy looking, and you make fun of some fat chicks??? And how are you a competant racists, Urkel could bash you gimpy weak ass... How did
you pick up the bag of poo, did you get help?

You make two off the cuff comments about Andre Johnson and Shannon Sharpe and all of a sudden you're a racist...well, I guess I'll deal with that one.

I guess I'm talking to Ken Shamrock here. Since this thread was dead serious in matter, perhaps I should have taken a picture in the robe of a Supreme Court justice delivering the decision on a controversial case involving flag burning. Or I guess I could have taken it down the comical route...hence the goofy look. I guess I should quake in my boots, or break out in tears from total fear :deevee: Obviously you're a bad motherf*cker... what with your GI Joe Avatar and all. What do you do when people f*ck with you at a bar, transform into a tank and shoot them with a ray gun? You're obviously just one of Phobia's jack off buddies, so go do yourself a favor and get a good night's rest, you'll need it when you're whacking off to that picture of a bird that he has up now. Go King Cobra, you bloody douche rag.

Phobia
01-22-2006, 08:56 AM
You'll never make a good Phobia nemesis unless you learn the proper terminology.

Change "Phobia's jack off buddies" to "Phobia's minions" for starters.

Making comments about Andre Johnson and Shannon Sharpe doesn't make you a racist. You're a racist because you're an elitist prick and call black people by racial slurs.

Bob Dole
01-22-2006, 09:06 AM
The only idiots who care about the last word are the ones who talk about it. I've had exactly 2 other people accuse me of wanting the last word during my internet experience. Good company you keep kid.

Right.

Pants
01-22-2006, 09:34 AM
The retard is you, John Matrix.

You're like a slightly smarter version of kcchiefsman. Are you guys related?

Ari Chi3fs
01-22-2006, 09:47 AM
The retard is you, John Matrix.

You're like a slightly smarter version of kcchiefsman. Are you guys related?



Hhaahah....

Bwana
01-22-2006, 10:13 AM
What would happen if I packed the exhaust of their cars with dog shit?
Your hands would smell like, well, dog shit.

Rukdafaidas
01-22-2006, 10:18 AM
First, if you share a yard with someone, have a little respect and pick after your dog.
Second, you mention these girls have boyfriends, if you leave them a poo surprise, you may end up being nominated as the cum guzzler.

Fairplay
01-22-2006, 10:23 AM
John Matrix is eating good tonight.

Bwana
01-22-2006, 10:24 AM
Your hands would smell like, well, dog shit.

On a side note, if you were my neighbor, I would have picked it up for you, but you would have the problem of trying to figure out how to get it out of your mailbox. :spock:

Bob Dole
01-22-2006, 10:27 AM
First, if you share a yard with someone, have a little respect and pick after your dog.
Second, you mention these girls have boyfriends, if you leave them a poo surprise, you may end up being nominated as the cum guzzler.

If you've got a large breed dog, you need to clean that shit up even if you don't share a yard.

If Bob Dole's neighbor doesn't clean up his two pitbulls worth of shit-covered back yard by the time Spring rolls around, Bob Dole and the neighbor are going to have a problem. Bob Dole isn't going to be annoyed by the wafting stench when Bob Dole wants to sit in his own back yard.

ChiefButthurt
01-22-2006, 10:32 AM
Do it Mods...ban Matrix. Or maybe a vote is in order. It's the American way.

Fairplay
01-22-2006, 10:35 AM
John Matrix sez to eat plenty of protien each day..............

Bob Dole
01-22-2006, 10:36 AM
Do it Mods...ban Matrix. Or maybe a vote is in order. It's the American way.

Why would the mods ban someone who supplies comedy gold?

ChiefButthurt
01-22-2006, 10:41 AM
Hey Matrix, if the graduate thing doesn't work out...maybe you can pick up shit for a living. I hear it pays 2 cents a log. ROFL

Bwana
01-22-2006, 10:43 AM
Hey Matrix, if the graduate thing doesn't work out...maybe you can pick up shit for a living. I hear it pays 2 cents a log. ROFL

Jesus, listen to the noob dishing out the smack. :hmmm:

Iowanian
01-22-2006, 10:49 AM
"I now have a 30 gallon trash bag filled with at least 25 pounds of dog poop in it "

Think about that statement for a minute dickhead. Its not their dog shitting in the yard. Your fundamental responsibilities as a pet owner include feeding, watering, exercising, sheltering, keeping from biting others, and cleaning up the waste...of your pet.

I'm currently on the other end of this arguement in my neighborhood. A nice neighborhood, with nice people, and 1 douchebag ditchpig, who have 50 bags of garbage thrown against the side of their house, trash in the yard and a pitbull mix that runs at its discretion. After a year of the elderly neighbors, complaining about the garbage, and excessive come and go traffic, and the next door neighbor and I tiring of picking up garabage, which includes busted out psuedofed containers and pieces of batteries.......A YEAR of the city and landlord doing nothing.....Hurricane Iowanian staged some civil unrest this week along with a neighbor or two, threw a bucket of shit into a fan at a public meeting and began getting things taken care of this time.

Its YOUR responsibility, to do YOUR part to be a good neighbor too.

Iowanian
01-22-2006, 10:54 AM
If I were your neighbor, and it was a problem for long....I'd probably have scooped all that dogshit into a snow shovel and smeared it on your welcome mat.

I'm beginning to wonder, if this particular psuedo-Intellectual, is just jealous that he wasn't allowed to sample the sophisticated flavor of the jiz.

John Matrix
01-22-2006, 01:05 PM
[QUOTE=John Matrix]I'm sure I'll get flamed on this board because I'm not part of your world class wrecking crew, but quite frankly, I don't give a f*ck.[QUOTE]

Need I say more. Do your 'minions' get extra rations from you for helping you fight the big, bad Matrix?

http://www.orangeforceone.com/albums/ptm/20051203_Chiefs/slides/DSCN4829.jpg

Chiefsplanet Royalty says, "Why have women when you can grow your own breasts".

Nice rack.

Phobia
01-22-2006, 01:12 PM
Howdy Doody is making fun of MY appearance? Oh damn. The tears may force me to miss most of the football game.

While you were typing back to back to back posts in response to me on a Saturday night, every other 20 something male with any game at all was out scoring a piece of tail. Why were you more interested in me at that time? Is there something we should know about you Conan?

John Matrix
01-22-2006, 01:22 PM
Sorry, there bro' I've already scored mine. Off the market.


I hope those tears don't dehydrate you. You might need to take a piss during halftime. With any luck, you might actually be able to see your dick--of course you'd probably need a bulldozer to push that paunch aside.

Jenson71
01-22-2006, 01:35 PM
Sorry, there bro' I've already scored mine. Off the market.

Seems she's not giving you enough attention.

stumppy
01-22-2006, 02:01 PM
[QUOTE=Phobia]Listen to me closely, Howdy Doody.
[QUOTE]


ROFL

Nailed it.

Phobia
01-22-2006, 03:19 PM
Sorry, there bro' I've already scored mine. Off the market.


I hope those tears don't dehydrate you. You might need to take a piss during halftime. With any luck, you might actually be able to see your dick--of course you'd probably need a bulldozer to push that paunch aside.

Dude, work on your smack and check back when you have something fresh. Let me give you some material. You could make fun of my horse teeth by calling me Elway or something like that. Maybe Nancy Kerrigan. Yeah - I think you should go with that.

John Matrix
01-22-2006, 04:09 PM
So I'm getting a smack lecture from a guy whose best response was "I don't need a formula to count to 2". I've got a great idea--why don't you go w/ some "yo' momma" jokes to hone that razor's edge you have on your wit there.

Phobia
01-22-2006, 04:24 PM
I've learned to dumb down my responses depending upon my target. I'll stand by that response.

I don't need a formula to count to 2.

LocoChiefsFan
01-22-2006, 04:25 PM
Any the mayor burns down her bar for insurance money...:bang:
She's not the mayor anymore. She resigned. I heard she didn't clean the dog poo out her yard either.Crickers rule, LOL! I haven't heard that word since I was a teenager. They still use it??

chiefs4me
01-22-2006, 04:43 PM
[QUOTE=John Matrix]I'm sure I'll get flamed on this board because I'm not part of your world class wrecking crew, but quite frankly, I don't give a f*ck.[QUOTE]

Need I say more. Do your 'minions' get extra rations from you for helping you fight the big, bad Matrix?

http://www.orangeforceone.com/albums/ptm/20051203_Chiefs/slides/DSCN4829.jpg

Chiefsplanet Royalty says, "Why have women when you can grow your own breasts".

Nice rack.






damn, whose the babe???:D

Fairplay
01-22-2006, 04:49 PM
I am a graduate student in a small college town. As many of you know, college towns are notorious for their shitty housing.


And thats what this post is about...shit.


I am not particularly good with authority. If I was a professional athlete, I’d probably be a locker room cancer because I hate having people tell me what to do, especially when I don’t think they are as capable as I am in a given task. I’m an elitist and a dickhead, in short, but sometimes it’s entertaining.


Your'e a dickhead that is true.


through the grass in order to travel the unbearable 30 foot distance. Perhaps that’s because after seeing one of them for the first time, my mommy said, “you could serve dinner on that girl’s ass.”—after all it must be stressful.

Your mommy?


Of course, these girls have to be in a sorority, because all overweight annoying girls whose parents pay their way are always in a sorority. But yet it’s inconvenient for them to not walk on the sidewalk because they don’t want to walk in my dog’s poop, as if dog shit is somehow hard to locate. You’d think that girls who spend the majority of their post-secondary education on their knees would at least have a passing familiarity with the ground. Nevertheless, I have always committed a cardinal sin whenever they happen to step in poop. Big deal I figure, after all, it’s only dog shit—wipe it off in the grass you love to walk in so much, and go blow some guy with a popped collar.

This guy has low self esteem. The above statement says it all.


I love irony. For example, these girls are so scandalized by the excretion of an animal that eats a diet far healthier than nearly all people do, yet they willingly swallow the ejaculate of men they don’t even know.

Sounds like you are jealous because they won't blow you.

Alas, I am not the king of the universe, so perhaps I shouldn’t judge. Well, as bitches are wont to do, they bitched, complaining to our landlords numerous times about the piles of poop in the yard. I complied for the most part and picked them up whenever the incessant complaining would get unbearable, but after winter break I said to myself, “**** it,” and didn’t pick up a piece of crap for about six weeks.


I call that type a person a low-life.


I was fortunate that a layer of snow concealed the shit for the most part, but now unseasonable weather has melted the snow off, exposing, well…a shitload of shit.
I got a letter from my landlord today informing me...


Informing you that you are nothing but white trash?


Nevertheless, attached are photos of the poop, and me, with a shit eating grin holding my prize aloft.


I bet that pic will make your mommy proud.

beavis
01-22-2006, 05:04 PM
I can't believe I just spent 5 minutes reading a thread about some dickheads bag of dogshit.

Valiant
01-22-2006, 05:15 PM
I think it is funny as hell as you keep coming back on here for a validation that someone will talk to you... Obviously you have a problem with it by making fun of fat chicks and then posting a blog about it, and you keep coming back here even though you do not give a ****??? I think you have some social interaction problems...

John Matrix
01-22-2006, 05:22 PM
I bet that pic will make your mommy proud.


Check the original post douchebag, that's not what I typed. Do you like to add extra letters to other people's posts as much as you like to jam anal beads up your chute?

Fairplay
01-22-2006, 05:26 PM
Hang your head in shame Matrix for such a demeaning post.

Hang your head in shame.


Words of wisdom that apply to you.

Proverbs 26:11

"As a dog that returns to his vomit, so is a fool who repeats his folly."

John Matrix
01-22-2006, 05:28 PM
I think it is funny as hell as you keep coming back on here for a validation that someone will talk to you... Obviously you have a problem with it by making fun of fat chicks and then posting a blog about it, and you keep coming back here even though you do not give a ****??? I think you have some social interaction problems...


And yet you feel the need to prove your point, and try and talk some shit to me. If I'm such a low life, why waste your time? I find you and those of your ilk to be amusing, but I put no stock in what you say. You worship a morbidly obese guy who moderates a message board about a football team. What are you, a janitor, waiter perhaps? I'm sure you are the bastion of the societal hierarchy, but more likely you just like to try and gang up on me cause I'm not one of Phobia's jag offs. But I'll say it again, I don't give a **** what you say, or what you think. I can dish it out, and I can take it to. I don't need validation from you, Fairplay, Phobia, or any of these f*cknuts, but I'll talk shit with you until I'm blue in the face. I'm that goddamned stubborn, so deal with it. If you don't like it, then ban me, or shut the f*ck up, cause you sure as hell aren't going to win this argument. If I want to bash people for being too damned stupid to walk on a sidewalk intstead of through grass in the middle of winter, then that's my decision, and I think that it carries some logic to it....pot, kettle, anyone?

John Matrix
01-22-2006, 05:33 PM
Hang your head in shame Matrix for such a demeaning post.

Hang your head in shame.


Words of wisdom that apply to you.

Proverbs 26:11

"As a dog that returns to his vomit, so is a fool who repeats his folly."


Here's some words of wisdom for you, people who quote the Bible on message boards have about as much brain mass as that bag of shit I was hamming it up with.

Knight 1:1

"When my time on earth is gone, and my activities here are passed, I want they bury me upside down, and my critics can kiss my ass."

And to you Phobia, Knight 1:2

"You couldn't lead a whore to bed."

If you all are so scandalized by my dastardly actions, then go join up for another shift of the neighborhood watch in your shitty little suburban lives, maybe you can get off at a PTA meeting where you try and ban a book because it might actually say something important about society.

I guess I forgot one important thing...most of you are products of a state that will fight to the death for 'intelligent design'...I guess the apples and the trees aren't far apart in that regard.

KcMizzou
01-22-2006, 05:44 PM
I can't believe I just spent 5 minutes reading a thread about some dickheads bag of dogshit.ROFL

My thoughts, exactly.

Phobia
01-22-2006, 05:44 PM
The theme of this thread thus far has been shit, man-breasts, my dick, and anal beads. I'm just sayin...

Pants
01-22-2006, 05:45 PM
Here's some words of wisdom for you, people who quote the Bible on message boards have about as much brain mass as that bag of shit I was hamming it up with.

Knight 1:1

"When my time on earth is gone, and my activities here are passed, I want they bury me upside down, and my critics can kiss my ass."

And to you Phobia, Knight 1:2

"You couldn't lead a whore to bed."

If you all are so scandalized by my dastardly actions, then go join up for another shift of the neighborhood watch in your shitty little suburban lives, maybe you can get off at a PTA meeting where you try and ban a book because it might actually say something important about society.

I guess I forgot one important thing...most of you are products of a state that will fight to the death for 'intelligent design'...I guess the apples and the trees aren't far apart in that regard.

Your and idiot. And you're absolutely clueless. You actually think that you pose some kind of a threat or something to the people you're "arguing" with? They've dealt with morons like you for 5.5 years now. Me being one of those morons. Either A. You mature and realize how much of jackass you were and become a valuable member of this community or B. You fade out like the rest of the idiots who thought they were the shit.

Good luck either way.

John Matrix
01-22-2006, 05:46 PM
The theme of this thread thus far has been shit, man-breasts, my dick, and anal beads. I'm just sayin...

Hall of Classics.

Fairplay
01-22-2006, 05:49 PM
The question of the day is.............

John Matrix
01-22-2006, 05:53 PM
Your and idiot. And you're absolutely clueless. You actually think that you pose some kind of a threat or something to the people you're "arguing" with? They've dealt with morons like you for 5.5 years now. Me being one of those morons. Either A. You mature and realize how much of jackass you were and become a valuable member of this community or B. You fade out like the rest of the idiots who thought they were the shit.

Good luck either way.

I don't think I pose a 'threat' to anyone on this board, considering that this is an entirely electronic conversation. Perhaps that should be directed someone like Valiant who started talking shit last night like he just put down Bas Rutten.

So by maturity should I grow a salt and pepper mullet and a beer gut that looks like I'm nine months pregnant like most of these cyber-badasses, or should I cower in fear b/c a mod might, gasp, ban me?

You think I give a rat f*ck about who they've dealt with in the past? Everyone seemed to think this thread was funny until Phobia threw a hissy fit. The rest of his Pals4Life simply joined in to help out their bestest buddy in the world, showing him that the true meaning of community is a circle jerk. So go towel the spuge off of your faces and go get your f*cking shinebox, mo'f*cker.

chiefs4me
01-22-2006, 06:01 PM
The theme of this thread thus far has been shit, man-breasts, my dick, and anal beads. I'm just sayin...







ahhh, is there more pictures??:D

Pants
01-22-2006, 06:03 PM
I don't think I pose a 'threat' to anyone on this board, considering that this is an entirely electronic conversation. Perhaps that should be directed someone like Valiant who started talking shit last night like he just put down Bas Rutten.

So by maturity should I grow a salt and pepper mullet and a beer gut that looks like I'm nine months pregnant like most of these cyber-badasses, or should I cower in fear b/c a mod might, gasp, ban me?

You think I give a rat f*ck about who they've dealt with in the past? Everyone seemed to think this thread was funny until Phobia threw a hissy fit. The rest of his Pals4Life simply joined in to help out their bestest buddy in the world, showing him that the true meaning of community is a circle jerk. So go towel the spuge off of your faces and go get your f*cking shinebox, mo'f*cker.

No, by maturity, you should stop stereotyping people like a ****ing retard that you are.

Nobody thought this thread was funny, not before Phobia got in nor after. Your original post just shows how much of a dumbass you really are.

The only cyber badass on this thread is you, intraweb thuggin4life n1gga!!!oneone

One of the things you don't understand though, is that people don't want to ban you because they're afraid of putting up with such an internet badass as you, they're just tired of morons like you and the annoyances you bring. Some (like Phobia, BobDole) think your stupidity is funny, others think it's annoying. I don't give a shit either way, I'm just trying to tell you how it is.

chiefs4me
01-22-2006, 06:03 PM
The question of the day is.............










:eek:

Phobia
01-22-2006, 06:07 PM
I swear SlimShady is adopted and we've just discovered Tom Cash's real son.

stumppy
01-22-2006, 06:19 PM
I swear SlimShady is adopted and we've just discovered Tom Cash's real son.


ROFL

I don't care who you are, that there was funny.

Fairplay
01-22-2006, 06:19 PM
No porch, although my landlords might...It's the bitches next door that I truly can't stand. There is central air in the apartments, perhaps I can find a way to put shit on the intake so their house smells like poop?



What a stand up guy. Try to find a way to put the poop in the intake
so the house smells like poop.

Also you called your nieghbors next door bitches that you can't stand.

I think they made fun of you and called you a nerd and a pencil dick pathetic loser.

You know they were right so you hate them for that. Admit it.

Bowser
01-22-2006, 06:23 PM
And here I thought Matrix was trying to chronicle Taco's roadie to the AFC Championship game.

Demonpenz
01-22-2006, 06:25 PM
i would just jack off in their face wash stuff.

Skip Towne
01-22-2006, 06:26 PM
I have no doubt he hates the neighbor girls because they rejected him. My god, get a look at his pic. Can you blame them?

Bwana
01-22-2006, 06:29 PM
The question of the day is.............


Classic. ROFL

stumppy
01-22-2006, 06:37 PM
I'm sure I'll get flamed on this board because I'm not part of your world class wrecking crew..........



Association with Phobia is not required to know you should wear a headband to cover the circumcision scars.

Skip Towne
01-22-2006, 07:45 PM
Association with Phobia is not required to know you should wear a headband to cover the circumcision scars.
Where is our hero?

stumppy
01-22-2006, 08:22 PM
Where is our hero?

I have yet to settle on a hero. There are so many capable people on the board it's hard to decide.

Do you have someone in mind we could count on when the chips are down?
Someone who would stand up to the keyboard tough guys? Someone who would put the bulletin board dickheads in their place? Someone who would be.....well..... be our hero?

Iowanian
01-22-2006, 09:07 PM
It looks like another psuedo intellectual got him nippows in a twist. Matrix seems to know alot of techniques to wipe man gravy off his face.

Your seats taken? Judging by your game I've seen here so far, I doubt if you could score with Maggie in the last scene of Million Dollar Baby.

I wonder how many copies of this dipshit have come and gone in the last 5 years?

John Matrix
01-22-2006, 10:18 PM
All a eugenicist would need to do in order to convince society of his aims is to take a close look at about the last 10 f*cko's to post on this board. One more time for the road, as I said last night, I don't give a shit how many of Phobia's little internet buddies flame me on this message board. If this is the best shit that you guys can bring, well then you can go f*ck yourself. Iowanian, it doesn't surprise me that you would bring necrophilia into this post, I'm just surprised you haven' t found away to mention bestiality as well.

The pathetic thing about all you f*cks is that you are an internet clique, a clique of people whose major reason for getting up in the morning would seem to be posting on this board.

How many copies have come and gone across the last five years? What the f*ck are you all still doing here after five years? The fact that your lives have devolved to the point where you spend half a decade of your adult lives as potent, active members of this board is ridiculous. The way you treat new members on this board shows your own idiocy and lack of self worth.

A dude loses his cat, so you call him a retard. He ****s up a term of internet slang, so you mock him over that. Is that all you pathetic f*cks have in your life, that you have to give sh*t to people on this board b/c they aren't part of your e-posse?

This board is entertaining for a while, but after sometime I would gather that most people get sick of putting up w/ the jackasses on the board like most of you f*cks.

The sad thing about this place is that I'll probably fade away in a few weeks or months, probably come back around for the draft to get more info, but you bad motherf*ckers will still be here five years later, just like you were five years before. Fading away from this board isn't a sign of giving up, rather it's probably a sign of hope. Yet most of you obviously see it as some form of grave failure for the member to meet up to your 'standards'.

Iowanian, perhaps I should bow down to a man of your obvious infinite knowledge, a man who has belonged to this board since the f*cking Clinton administration. You must be so much better than me because you're a Suburban Commando with a wife he hates and kids he can't stand. You must be king of the world, what with that avatar of a flaming keyboard and all. What a true badass.

If you want to take shots of me because of an intentionally goofy look I made during a photo, then that's cool, I have enough self worth that I can take it. I've seen the member photo's section of this website, most of you are charter members of the all-ugly team, so your attempts to put me down are a might like the pot and kettle, not that you are smart enough to make that analogy anyway.

I'll probably be out of here in a week, you'll still be starting sticky polls in leetspeak, eating takeout food in the ramshackles you live in. Here's a poll for you, you're all approaching middle age, your lives have no meaning and your jobs do nothing to create to the better good of society. What are you going to do about? Survey says you are going to post on a football board and try to prove how much of a badass you are by ganging up on a dude in order to protect your e-friendships. But that's cool, as I said, I can take it.

Enjoy the 9-5 grind for the rest of your lives you sad f*cks...Good luck starting up those "civil unrest hurricanes" Iowanian, I'm sure it's a hell of a job you do there, bitch.

Iowanian
01-22-2006, 10:21 PM
You'd better change your shoes.

I'm not sure what animal is responsible for the pile, but its apparent you stepped in a HUGE, steaming pile of Dumbshit.

Enjoy another year of Top Ramen noodles, courtesy of your mother's job at the Dairy queen.

Pardon me if I don't seek your autograph until you're at least working the late night shift guarding the airport parking lot with gary coleman.

Its more likely, that instead of being a "clique" the above posters just have the keen sense to identify dumbass easier than when you can't smelling you when you walk into a bar after your BRUTE bath.

John Matrix
01-22-2006, 10:23 PM
You'd better change your shoes.

I'm not sure what animal is responsible for the pile, but its apparent you stepped in a HUGE, steaming pile of Dumbshit.

If this was a gunfight, your smack would be a water pistol. Your momma should have sucked you out of her box with a turkey baster instead of letting a piece of shit like you into the world.

Iowanian
01-22-2006, 10:27 PM
So, what you've posting is smack?

As stated before, I could eat a bowl of Alphabits and crap better smack than you'd be able to deal with, if your entire Dungeon and Dragon team were loaning you their smack pokemon.

If over estimating your own cerebral meanderings were cow feces, you'd be heaped up in Western Kansas stinking out a town unfortunate enough to be downwind.

When you find your candy ass, face down in a pile of dogshit, with a fat girl sitting on your lower back, giving your a camel clutch with the index finger fish hook after she crapped in her own hand, the muffled sound you hear in the breeze will be myself and I'm sure many other's who've come accross you(some probably literally), laughing .

If you need a wetnap, I'm sure you can snag one when you're unloading the boxes in aisle 5.

John Matrix
01-22-2006, 10:35 PM
I'm just telling it how it is, you tell it the way you want it to be to keep your electronic delusions alive.

I love the fact that you assume that I'm a D&D nerd on here, you have 25 thousand ****ing posts.

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of a small mind. Your continued presence here (over the hump for the first decade :thumb:) Proves that axiom indisputably.

Phobia
01-22-2006, 10:37 PM
All a eugecist would need to do in order to convince society of his aims is to take a close look at about the last 10 f*cko's to post on this board. One more time for the road, as I said last night, I don't give a shit how many of Phobia's little internet buddies flame me on this message board. If this is the best shit that you guys can bring, well then you can go f*ck yourself. Iowanian, it doesn't surprise me that you would bring necrophilia into this post, I'm just surprised you haven' t found away to mention bestiality as well.

The pathetic thing about all you f*cks is that you are an internet clique, a clique of people whose major reason for getting up in the morning would seem to be posting on this board.

How many copies have come and gone across the last five years? What the f*ck are you all still doing here after five years? The fact that your lives have devolved to the point where you spend half a decade of your adult lives as potent, active members of this board is ridiculous. The way you treat new members on this board shows your own idiocy and lack of self worth.

A dude loses his cat, so you call him a retard. He ****s up a term of internet slang, so you mock him over that. Is that all you pathetic f*cks have in your life, that you have to give sh*t to people on this board b/c they aren't part of your e-posse?

This board is entertaining for a while, but after sometime I would gather that most people get sick of putting up w/ the jackasses on the board like most of you f*cks.

The sad thing about this place is that I'll probably fade away in a few weeks or months, probably come back around for the draft to get more info, but you bad motherf*ckers will still be here five years later, just like you were five years before. Fading away from this board isn't a sign of giving up, rather it's probably a sign of hope. Yet most of you obviously see it as some form of grave failure for the member to meet up to your 'standards'.

Iowanian, perhaps I should bow down to a man of your obvious infinite knowledge, a man who has belonged to this board since the f*cking Clinton administration. You must be so much better than me because you're a Suburban Commando with a wife he hates and kids he can't stand. You must be king of the world, what with that avatar of a flaming keyboard and all. What a true badass.

If you want to take shots of me because of an intentionally goofy look I made during a photo, then that's cool, I have enough self worth that I can take it. I've seen the member photo's section of this website, most of you are charter members of the all-ugly team, so your attempts to put me down are a might like the pot and kettle, not that you are smart enough to make that analogy anyway.

I'll probably be out of here in a week, you'll still be starting sticky polls in leetspeak, eating takeout food in the ramshackles you live in. Here's a poll for you, you're all approaching middle age, your lives have no meaning and your jobs do nothing to create to the better good of society. What are you going to do about? Survey says you are going to post on a football board and try to prove how much of a badass you are by ganging up on a dude in order to protect your e-friendships. But that's cool, as I said, I can take it.

Enjoy the 9-5 grind for the rest of your lives you sad f*cks...Good luck starting up those "civil unrest hurricanes" Iowanian, I'm sure it's a hell of a job you do there, bitch.

I think you state a pretty good case. I've decided to allow you to join my internet clique. We need more people like yourself in my clique. Do you accept the call to become a minion of Phobia?

Iowanian
01-22-2006, 10:40 PM
Whatever makes you sleep better at night sally.

John Matrix
01-22-2006, 10:42 PM
I think you state a pretty good case. I've decided to allow you to join my internet clique. We need more people like yourself in my clique. Do you accept the call to become a minion of Phobia?


No, I'll never turn to the dark side. Even if it means this:

http://iolarte.tripod.com/galeria/palpat-4.JPG

:banghead:

Skip Towne
01-22-2006, 10:47 PM
This guy is every bit as dumb as he is ugly. If YOU were as ugly as him would you post your pic on here?

Iowanian
01-22-2006, 10:54 PM
Well Beaker, I'll sleep just fine tonight, knowing that the last p@ssy you had your face in that wasn't paid for, involved your mother's cervix clenching your shoulders.

Valiant
01-23-2006, 12:10 AM
damn, whose the babe???:D


I do not see any females..

go bowe
01-23-2006, 12:24 AM
I don't actually find it necessary to use a formula to count to 2.ok, i'm gonna go ahead and call this match before somebody gets hurt...

one party to this shindig is waaaay overmatched by the other...

it just ain't fair, i tells ya...

Valiant
01-23-2006, 12:26 AM
All a eugenicist would need to do in order to convince society of his aims is to take a close look at about the last 10 f*cko's to post on this board. One more time for the road, as I said last night, I don't give a shit how many of Phobia's little internet buddies flame me on this message board. If this is the best shit that you guys can bring, well then you can go f*ck yourself. Iowanian, it doesn't surprise me that you would bring necrophilia into this post, I'm just surprised you haven' t found away to mention bestiality as well.

The pathetic thing about all you f*cks is that you are an internet clique, a clique of people whose major reason for getting up in the morning would seem to be posting on this board.

How many copies have come and gone across the last five years? What the f*ck are you all still doing here after five years? The fact that your lives have devolved to the point where you spend half a decade of your adult lives as potent, active members of this board is ridiculous. The way you treat new members on this board shows your own idiocy and lack of self worth.

A dude loses his cat, so you call him a retard. He ****s up a term of internet slang, so you mock him over that. Is that all you pathetic f*cks have in your life, that you have to give sh*t to people on this board b/c they aren't part of your e-posse?

This board is entertaining for a while, but after sometime I would gather that most people get sick of putting up w/ the jackasses on the board like most of you f*cks.

The sad thing about this place is that I'll probably fade away in a few weeks or months, probably come back around for the draft to get more info, but you bad motherf*ckers will still be here five years later, just like you were five years before. Fading away from this board isn't a sign of giving up, rather it's probably a sign of hope. Yet most of you obviously see it as some form of grave failure for the member to meet up to your 'standards'.

Iowanian, perhaps I should bow down to a man of your obvious infinite knowledge, a man who has belonged to this board since the f*cking Clinton administration. You must be so much better than me because you're a Suburban Commando with a wife he hates and kids he can't stand. You must be king of the world, what with that avatar of a flaming keyboard and all. What a true badass.

If you want to take shots of me because of an intentionally goofy look I made during a photo, then that's cool, I have enough self worth that I can take it. I've seen the member photo's section of this website, most of you are charter members of the all-ugly team, so your attempts to put me down are a might like the pot and kettle, not that you are smart enough to make that analogy anyway.

I'll probably be out of here in a week, you'll still be starting sticky polls in leetspeak, eating takeout food in the ramshackles you live in. Here's a poll for you, you're all approaching middle age, your lives have no meaning and your jobs do nothing to create to the better good of society. What are you going to do about? Survey says you are going to post on a football board and try to prove how much of a badass you are by ganging up on a dude in order to protect your e-friendships. But that's cool, as I said, I can take it.

Enjoy the 9-5 grind for the rest of your lives you sad f*cks...Good luck starting up those "civil unrest hurricanes" Iowanian, I'm sure it's a hell of a job you do there, bitch.


But yet you post all about this on your blog that was posted above... Aahah give me a f'ing break.. I think it would be amusing since we know the vicinity of where you live and your name if I go rub dog shit all over the cars in teh parking lot and fill the mailboxes up with it and then phone your landlord that some troglodyte came out of the complex fitting your so-called elitist ass discription and see how long you live there...

Man, this shit must turn you on.. Go back to your blog where you are king and everybody worships your ass in kirksville...

****ing D-bag...

go bowe
01-23-2006, 12:36 AM
Check the original post douchebag, that's not what I typed. Do you like to add extra letters to other people's posts as much as you like to jam anal beads up your chute?oooh, oooh...

anal beads? :p :p :p

Halfcan
01-23-2006, 12:40 AM
The question of the day is.............

I thought this was another joke pic-Is that really you Matrix-holding a bag of shit???

Okay that is classic. That beats the Endnelt wet pants picture. Matrix and a bag of shit.

go bowe
01-23-2006, 12:41 AM
No, by maturity, you should stop stereotyping people like a ****ing retard that you are.

Nobody thought this thread was funny, not before Phobia got in nor after. Your original post just shows how much of a dumbass you really are.

The only cyber badass on this thread is you, intraweb thuggin4life n1gga!!!oneone

One of the things you don't understand though, is that people don't want to ban you because they're afraid of putting up with such an internet badass as you, they're just tired of morons like you and the annoyances you bring. Some (like Phobia, BobDole) think your stupidity is funny, others think it's annoying. I don't give a shit either way, I'm just trying to tell you how it is.oh man, i've got to go with funny on this one...

go bowe
01-23-2006, 12:43 AM
I swear SlimShady is adopted and we've just discovered Tom Cash's real son.perhaps he's a product of an illicit affair between tom cash and duhneese...

Halfcan
01-23-2006, 12:44 AM
Well Beaker, I'll sleep just fine tonight, knowing that the last p@ssy you had your face in that wasn't paid for, involved your mother's cervix clenching your shoulders.


Beaker-lol, your best smack yet-those Alphabets must be working.

go bowe
01-23-2006, 12:48 AM
All a eugenicist would need to do in order to convince society of his aims is to take a close look at about the last 10 f*cko's to post on this board. One more time for the road, as I said last night, I don't give a shit how many of Phobia's little internet buddies flame me on this message board. If this is the best shit that you guys can bring, well then you can go f*ck yourself. Iowanian, it doesn't surprise me that you would bring necrophilia into this post, I'm just surprised you haven' t found away to mention bestiality as well.
* * *
yadda-dadda...oooh, bestiality...

keep it up, big boy, keep it up...

Halfcan
01-23-2006, 12:52 AM
If you don't want people to make fun of you, don't post a pic of yourself holding a bag of dogshit. I mean, what did you think was going to happen dude? :rolleyes: :shake: :hmmm: ROFL

go bowe
01-23-2006, 12:52 AM
finished so soon?

they have pills for that nowadays...

Halfcan
01-23-2006, 12:58 AM
finished so soon?

they have pills for that nowadays...

No probably just filling up another bag with shit for Phobs mailbox.

stumppy
01-23-2006, 12:59 AM
No probably just filling up another bag with shit for Phobs mailbox.

I hear they pay 2 cents a log nowadays.

Halfcan
01-23-2006, 01:05 AM
I bet Dicksurfers cat is really in Matress's bag-Mystery solved. I just let the cat out of the bag.

John Matrix
01-23-2006, 01:06 AM
Trying to make sense with you mongoloids is about as easy as trying to pry any of you away from this board for more than a day. I will say it once again, I don't give a shit what you say about me, you're all nothings, you know it and I know it. The only thing I feel sorry for in this thread is the world, not myself. I can take care of me just fine, I just wonder what this mass clusterf*ck of posters on this page does for the average IQ and per capita income of the greater kansas city area. There's a reason why a lot of fans around the league think most Chiefs fans are stupid redeneck bastards, and that reason is the display you partial-birth abortions give them. I can't even imagine how much meth most of you dipshits have to cook up in order to afford your season tickets, but it's patently obvious that the fumes have gotten to most of you who couldn't follow a line of logical thought if it woke up and f*cked your skank wives in their gaping gashes.

I realize that most of you are to failure what Einstein was to relativity, so if talking shit on a Chiefs board makes you feel like you have a little bit more between your legs than that 2.75 inches you're packing or a little more hope of success or meaning in your lives than the endless voids staring in front of all of you, then smile wide, because you must be very proud of yourselves.

The reality of the matter is that you're all a bunch of broke-dick clingons with about as much right to life as that bag of crap.

stumppy
01-23-2006, 01:14 AM
[QUOTE=John Matrix]

There's a reason why a lot of fans around the league think most Chiefs fans are stupid redeneck bastards, and that reason is........

[QUOTE]

The reason is, they see pictures on the internet of some of them holding big bags of dog shit next to their face.

John Matrix
01-23-2006, 01:16 AM
[QUOTE=John Matrix]

There's a reason why a lot of fans around the league think most Chiefs fans are stupid redeneck bastards, and that reason is........

[QUOTE]

The reason is, they see pictures on the internet of some of them holding big bags of dog shit next to their face.

Obviously you've never pulled college pranks on anyone, but that's probably a hard feat for you to aspire to whenever you flunk out during grade school.

Halfcan
01-23-2006, 01:22 AM
Obviously you've never pulled college pranks on anyone, but that's probably a hard feat for you to aspire to whenever you flunk out during grade school.


And which one was the bag of dogshit and which one was Turdix?-hard to tell.

John Matrix
01-23-2006, 01:24 AM
And which one was the bag of dogshit and which one was Turdix?-hard to tell.

Hey everyone, it's Bill Shakespeare. Is Halfcan a mention to the half can of Zyklon B that your mother must have inhaled when she learned that she was impregnated from goatstock at the sperm clinic?

stumppy
01-23-2006, 01:25 AM
Obviously you've never pulled college pranks on anyone, but that's probably a hard feat for you to aspire to whenever you flunk out during grade school.

I didn't have to go to college to know better than to post pictures on the internet of myself smiling and holding a bag of shit next to my face.

There was a kid in grade school that always smiled like that when he got his hands on some shit. Don't know his name though. People tended to shy away from him.
But who am I to be telling you ? Heh.

Halfcan
01-23-2006, 01:38 AM
Hey everyone, it's Bill Shakespeare. Is Halfcan a mention to the half can of Zyklon B that your mother must have inhaled when she learned that she was impregnated from goatstock at the sperm clinic?


Wow that is just unfunny and pathetic Dogshit. Why don't you make fun of my Aunt with Cancer again you fuggin moron. I mean, there have been some real losers on here, but never one so dispicable that he is proud of a pic of himself holding a bag of shit.

No wonder your neighbors hate you!!!!

John Matrix
01-23-2006, 01:42 AM
Wow that is just unfunny and pathetic Dogshit. Why don't you make fun of my Aunt with Cancer again you fuggin moron. I mean, there have been some real losers on here, but never one so dispicable that he is proud of a pic of himself holding a bag of shit.

No wonder your neighbors hate you!!!!

You are a complete and total moron. That's unfunny and pathetic, yet your actions on numerous other boards should be lauded for their admirability. I'd wish for your demise, but I do'nt even know if the Earth should deserve the blight that holding your rotting corpse would entail.

Fairplay
01-23-2006, 05:46 AM
I gotta admit, posters like this don't come along to often.
So relish the moment.

Remember back his post of crying because his bitch niehbors made him clean up his dogs poop.
Look back at his sad and pathetic pic of him proudly holding a bag of shit.
Recall how he whined that those college chicks give guys a bj yet won't even give him the time of day.
Be horrified that you conversed with a guy nicknamed 'The turd bandit'.
Next time you take a dump flush it down quickly or it could be snatched up for Matrix to be a source of his pride and joy.
Then have his pic taken with it only to be shown on message boards through out the land.

Beware that such a low-life creature out there does exist.

Iowanian
01-23-2006, 08:39 AM
Hey Matrix...

Who is the bigger loser? A person, who has been a Chiefs fan for 20+ years, conversing with other like minded people through 5 seasons, or the New guy who shows up, and "doesn't care" so much, that whenever his feelings get hurt, he runs to not only post on the message board he's making fun of others for posting on, but makes a 2 page entry starting "dear diary".

You're pretty pathetic, and you know it, which is why you're so angry and have such a tough time making friends. I am beginning to doubt if the bag next to that beaker head you've got is actually full of dog nuggets, but its more likely that you're the inspiration for the South Park episode where you shove a sandwich in your head holster and cr@p out your mouth.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'm sure its difficult to pronounce.

I won't worry too much about my personal life, until the day I make a diary or blog entry giving a blow by blow arguement from another website.

Halfcan
01-23-2006, 01:50 PM
You are a complete and total moron. That's unfunny and pathetic, yet your actions on numerous other boards should be lauded for their admirability. I'd wish for your demise, but I do'nt even know if the Earth should deserve the blight that holding your rotting corpse would entail.


Other boards? A complete and total moron-there is a word for that and it is John Matrix-also can be used to describe a useless steaming bag of shit. Why don't you go peep in your neibors windows again or stick your head in an oven. You will go down as the biggest lowlife to ever post on the Planet-and in only 300 post-quit an accomplishment for an illiterate inbreed C#cksmoker.

Valiant
01-23-2006, 07:53 PM
Obviously you've never pulled college pranks on anyone, but that's probably a hard feat for you to aspire to whenever you flunk out during grade school.


I thought you were out of college, now you are lying about going to college???

Hi, I am Matrix... I talk shit about my neighbors on the internet and I am a skeezy asshole and I admit it.. I do dumbshit things but I do not care what you think because you are all whitetrash because you post on the internet and make fun of me... I mean I do not care about you are this site, but I will keep coming back to show I do not care.. You all are a joke for making fun of me on the internet, I mean I do not make fun of people on here or have a BLOG about making fun of people on the internet... You are all redneck geeks for making fun on me on the internet, I mean Kirksville is 10 times better then KC...

Agian you are all trash and I do not care what you think...

love John Matrix...

P.S. I will be back tomarrow to tell how much I do not care, and talk about you on my blog where people like me...

Iowanian
01-23-2006, 08:13 PM
I'll wager that Matrix gets laid less than a Dwarf in a full body goiter.

beavis
01-23-2006, 10:02 PM
Matrix = Redrum :hmmm:

Halfcan
01-24-2006, 12:13 AM
How does Turdix still have green dots, he should have little piles of dogshit.

Saulbadguy
01-24-2006, 12:25 PM
Put the shit down their chimney. If they have one.

chiefs4me
01-24-2006, 05:30 PM
Matrix = Redrum :hmmm:





Nope

Michael Shant
01-24-2006, 09:23 PM
So Matrix is Black Jack Savage?

Who is Black Jack Savage, if I may ask?

OldTownChief
01-25-2006, 06:48 PM
I can't wait to read about some neighbor pulling out a shotgun and blowing her ugly puss face neighbors face off carying a bag of dog shit.

Redcoats58
12-04-2006, 08:44 PM
I couldn't resist...

Easy 6
12-04-2006, 08:51 PM
I dont care how judgemental i sound...some people you can just look at & tell that they suck.

This guy fits the profile.

Redcoats58
12-04-2006, 08:54 PM
I dont care how judgemental i sound...some people you can just look at & tell that they suck.

This guy fits the profile.
I agree

Frazod
12-04-2006, 09:00 PM
I'm just curious - WTF inspired you dredge this back up? :spock:

Phobia
12-04-2006, 09:01 PM
Another dogshit thread.

thedude
12-04-2006, 09:02 PM
I'm just curious - WTF inspired you dredge this back up? :spock:


It was cross-referenced in another thread.

OnTheWarpath58
12-04-2006, 09:02 PM
Popped back up here.....

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=153744

Frazod
12-04-2006, 09:03 PM
Alllllllllllllllllllllrighty then. :thumb:

OnTheWarpath58
12-04-2006, 09:03 PM
DAMNIT CARL! :cuss:

Redcoats58
12-04-2006, 09:03 PM
It was cross-referenced in another thread.
Yeah so I fooled around with a little photoshop. As I said i couldn't resist, that dude was a sack of sh*t, no pun intended.

RollTide
12-05-2006, 07:15 AM
Thus I have complied with the wishes of my landlord, but now I have all this shit that is just itching for me to do something with it.


Dude, do what my granny did. Shovel it all up and put it on their doorstep. Problem solved.

Skip Towne
12-05-2006, 07:55 AM
Who is Black Jack Savage, if I may ask?
FAX caled him Black Jack Sausage. :LOL:

KC Jones
12-05-2006, 07:59 AM
I love irony. For example, these girls are so scandalized by the excretion of an animal that eats a diet far healthier than nearly all people do, yet they willingly swallow the ejaculate of men they don’t even know.

For some reason when I read this, all I can picture is some chubby self-absorbed grad student whose never been laid and hates the world for it.

:shrug:

chagrin
12-05-2006, 08:07 AM
For some reason when I read this, all I can picture is some chubby self-absorbed grad student whose never been laid and hates the world for it.

:shrug:

You didn't see the actual photo from this? It's hilarious.


By the way, why is this back? Is Hootie John Matrix?

PinkFloyd
12-05-2006, 08:17 AM
I didn't read all the pages on here, but here's an idea... If they do leave their car doors unloceked at night -- take it and put it in the dash vents... Just break it up some, and sprinkle it in the vents on the dash...

You would be surprised what it smells like after the car warms up in the winter !!!!

Phobia
12-05-2006, 09:06 AM
Hootie is NOT this guy.

Short Leash Hootie
12-19-2006, 06:05 PM
hahahahaha, I'm not that dude.

Pasta Giant Meatball
03-16-2013, 10:42 PM
It's a mystery

Ebolapox
03-16-2013, 11:20 PM
this should be in the hall of classics

Ebolapox
03-16-2013, 11:21 PM
ugh. duh. it is.