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View Full Version : Hilarious CyberSex Chat Transcripts...NSFW:


arrowheadnation
01-24-2006, 01:00 AM
Call me immature, but I swear I was laughing out loud the entire time. You gotta read these. Probably NSFW. BTW...all of the curse words have been deleted, but you'll get the picture of where they're supposed to be.

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<img src="http://i1.tinypic.com/mimj4i.jpg" alt="Image hosting by TinyPic">
<img src="http://i1.tinypic.com/mimjid.jpg" alt="Image hosting by TinyPic">
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VictimX_27: Hi there!
cheesedog: HEYA!
VictimX_27: What u up 2?
cheesedog: Nice English.
cheesedog: Did you learn that on the short bus?
VictimX_27: Get
cheesedog: I'm just joking relax
cheesedog: What's your name?
VictimX_27: Whats yours?
cheesedog: I asked you first.
VictimX_27: I asked you second
cheesedog: Did I time just warp to middle school?
VictimX_27: huh
cheesedog: Never mind. My name is Johnny
cheesedog: Johnny Cheesedog
VictimX_27: Thats not your real name
cheesedog: Why isn't that my real name?
VictimX_27: No one has the name Cheesedog as a last name
cheesedog: Well I do. Whats wrong with it?
VictimX_27: Nothin i suppose
VictimX_27: Is that your real pic in that av?
cheesedog: Yes it is
VictimX_27: Very handsome
cheesedog: Thanks
VictimX_27: You kinda look like eminem
cheesedog: you.
VictimX_27: HEY! I meant that in a good way
VictimX_27: I think eminem is hot!
cheesedog: Oh. You think I'm hot?
VictimX_27: Yeah
cheesedog: What do you look like?
cheesedog: Do you have a pic?
VictimX_27: I don't show my picture to anyone
cheesedog: Why not?
VictimX_27: Cause I'm ugly
cheesedog: I won't make fun of you
VictimX_27: Its not that. I just don't like my looks
cheesedog: So you have no self-esteem, huh?
cheesedog: Is that what you're saying?
VictimX_27: I just don't think I'm pretty
cheesedog: Let me be the judge of that.
VictimX_27: Nahhh
cheesedog: Then describe yourself.
VictimX_27: Why do u wanna know what I look like?
cheesedog: Because I think you're nice
cheesedog: I want to picture you in my head while I'm talking to you.
VictimX_27: LMAO!! You don't want 2 picture me. Trust me
cheesedog: Why not?
VictimX_27: I told you. I'm ugly.
cheesedog: Well... I think you're beautiful on the inside.
VictimX_27: You don't even know me
cheesedog: I'm a pretty good judge of character
VictimX_27: Then why do u need 2 see me?
cheesedog: I just wanted to know thats all
cheesedog: If you aren't comfortable with it... thats fine.
VictimX_27: You don't understand
cheesedog: Is it that bad?
VictimX_27: YESSSSS
cheesedog: Ok then. I'm gonna picture you as Weezy from the Jeffersons.
cheesedog: She is the bomb!
cheesedog: She makes me hot just thinking about her!
VictimX_27: Wheezy?
cheesedog: Yep. Weezy.
VictimX_27: Who is that?
cheesedog: George's wife.
VictimX_27: Who is george
cheesedog: George Jefferson. From the Jeffersons.
cheesedog: Are you deaf?
VictimX_27: Who are the Jeffersons?
cheesedog: Oh lord. Here we go
VictimX_27: wut?
cheesedog: You don't know who the Jeffersons are?
VictimX_27: Should I?
cheesedog: Yes.
VictimX_27: Well I don't.
cheesedog: FISH DONT FRY IN THE KITCHEN! BEANS DONT BURN ON THE GREEEELL...
VictimX_27: huhhh?
cheesedog: TOOK A WHOOOOLE LOTTA LU UH VINNNN. JUST TO GET UP THAT HEEEELL
VictimX_27: Wut the hell are you saying?
cheesedog: Hold on a second
cheesedog: Here you go. *PIC*
VictimX_27: Thats her?
cheesedog: Yep
VictimX_27: I don't look anything like that
cheesedog: SHUT UP! You're ruining my fantasy!
VictimX_27: LOL. You're funny.
cheesedog: What's funny?
VictimX_27: u r
cheesedog: I'm glad I entertain you
VictimX_27: me 2
cheesedog: So if you don't look like Weezy, what do you look like?
VictimX_27: u don't give up do u?
cheesedog: Never
VictimX_27: I'm the exact opposite of her
cheesedog: ???
VictimX_27: I'm very white
cheesedog: Thats cool, my white anti-soul sista'
VictimX_27: LOL
cheesedog: I can dig white chicks too, I guess.
VictimX_27: I'm whiter than most
cheesedog: really?
VictimX_27: I'm an albino
cheesedog: a what?
VictimX_27: u don't know what that is?
cheesedog: I've heard the word before
VictimX_27: I have no pigment in my skin, eyes or hair
VictimX_27: So I'm all white
cheesedog: This is
VictimX_27: I'm serious!
VictimX_27: You've never seen an albino before?
cheesedog: No. Where do they live? Albinia?
VictimX_27: No, we live all over.
cheesedog: Then how come I've never seen any
VictimX_27: Lucky I suppose
cheesedog: Send me your picture. I wanna know what an albino looks like.
VictimX_27: I'll send you a picture of one but not me
cheesedog: Ok
VictimX_27: Here u go *PIC*
cheesedog: Whoa. Thats freaky
VictimX_27: See why I don't send my picture out?
cheesedog: there's nothing wrong with it.
cheesedog: It doesn't make you ugly
cheesedog: This chick is kind of hot actually.
VictimX_27: Thank u
cheesedog: No problem
cheesedog: Her, not you. I don't know what you look like.
VictimX_27: Are you gonna be on in 3 hours?
cheesedog: Yes
VictimX_27: I have to go to the mall with my sister
VictimX_27: Will you be here when I get back?
cheesedog: S ure. Then I'll sex you up.
VictimX_27: Gee thanks. LOL
cheesedog: I'm serious
VictimX_27: We'll see.
cheesedog: Yes we will.
VictimX_27: Bye for now!
cheesedog: Make sure you wear some sunscreen.
VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT>

About 3 hours later...

VictimX_27: HEY!
cheesedog: Hello there
VictimX_27: I'm back
cheesedog: Have fun at the mall?
VictimX_27: Yeah. I got some new shoes
cheesedog: Interesting
VictimX_27: Not really. Just shoes
cheesedog: You ready to be sexed up now?
VictimX_27: LOL
cheesedog: Is that a yes?
VictimX_27: Could be
VictimX_27:
cheesedog: HOT DAMN!
cheesedog: I gently suck your nipples
cheesedog: I feel them get hard then I jam my hand down your..
VictimX_27: WOAH! Slow down cowboy
cheesedog: Why?
VictimX_27: I'm not just gonna cyber with you if thats all you want
cheesedog: What do you mean?
VictimX_27: You're not going to ignore me later are you?
cheesedog: Of course not.
cheesedog: I like you.
VictimX_27: I don't even know how old you are.
cheesedog: I'm 27. Now....
cheesedog: I gently massage your breasts with my rough hands
cheesedog: I roll your nipples between my fingers
VictimX_27: WAIT!
cheesedog: They get hard again... what?
VictimX_27: Don't you wanna know anything about me first?
VictimX_27: Like what I like?
cheesedog: Oh yeah. Sure. Hurry up.
VictimX_27: That didn't sound convincing.
cheesedog: YES I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!
VictimX_27: Now u r being a smartass
VictimX_27: Just give me a minute
cheesedog: ok
VictimX_27: I'm back
cheesedog: np
VictimX_27: thank you
cheesedog: So what do you like?
VictimX_27: Ummmm being licked
cheesedog: Where?
VictimX_27: Everywhere
cheesedog: Any place in particular?
VictimX_27: uhhh yeah
cheesedog: tell me
VictimX_27: on my clit
cheesedog: OK!
cheesedog: NOW YOU'RE TALKIN!
VictimX_27: I also like being done from behind
cheesedog: Ooooooohhhh.
cheesedog: Ok. Check this out.
cheesedog: We're in an abandoned building.
cheesedog: No is around. Its all quiet.
VictimX_27: Uh huh
cheesedog: I gently unbutton your pants and slide my hand across your clit
cheesedog: You get all warm and juicy.
cheesedog: I slip your panties down and continue to massage your
VictimX_27: oooohh mmmm
cheesedog: I place my mouth on your asshole as I eat you from behind
cheesedog: I wiggle my tounge around across your moist hole
VictimX_27: yessss
cheesedog: I cover your ears with my hands as I eat you.
cheesedog: Egon and Ray sneak in from the back.
cheesedog: *Powering up Proton packs*
VictimX_27: ???
cheesedog: Then... Egon BLASTS your pasty white ass!!
cheesedog: POW!! BZZZZZTTTTTPHTTTTTT!!!
cheesedog: Winston and Peter set up the containment trap....
VictimX_27: WHAT THE **** IS THIS !!!
cheesedog: You wiggle around in the proton streams buck naked
cheesedog: The streams almost cross! Look out!!
cheesedog: Peter smacks you across the chin with his gun
cheesedog: They open the trap and it sucks your pale ass in!
VictimX_27: This isn't funny johnny!
cheesedog: SHUT UP! YOUR CAUGHT!
cheesedog: **puts you in the containment area**
cheesedog: Slimer is in there too..
VictimX_27: YOU ARE A DICK!
cheesedog: I SAID SHUT THE **** UP!
cheesedog: Now...Slimer sticks his green, slimey prick in your pigmentless ass.
cheesedog: **HE SLIMES YOU!**
VictimX_27: Never talk to me again!
cheesedog: He cums all over your hair... but no one notices cause its the same color
VictimX_27: YOUUUU
cheesedog: He eats a powdered donut!
VictimX_27: SHUT UP AND **** YOUUUU!!!!!
cheesedog: o wait! It was your hand, you scary, white whore!
VictimX_27: LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
cheesedog: Chill out, Casper. You're trapped, I said.
cheesedog: Slimer goes to lick your clit.
cheesedog: But there is already slime on your it!!
cheesedog: Slimer thinks you are a cheater and gets jealous!!
cheesedog: HE RIPS YOUR WHITE TITS OFF!
VictimX_27: YOU!!!!!!!!
cheesedog: **Plays volleyball with them**
VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT>

Miles
01-24-2006, 01:04 AM
I put on my robe and wizard hat.

Its been around for a while but its still pretty damn funny.

Simplex3
01-24-2006, 01:11 AM
VictimX_27: Don't you wanna know anything about me first?
VictimX_27: Like what I like?
cheesedog: Oh yeah. Sure. Hurry up.
VictimX_27: That didn't sound convincing.
cheesedog: YES I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!

ROFL This part still cracks me up.

KCChiefsMan
01-24-2006, 01:20 AM
that actually is kinda funny, it kinda makes me wanna go "cyber" and f*ck with people...........but I won't

Simplex3
01-24-2006, 01:21 AM
that actually is kinda funny, it kinda makes me wanna go "cyber" and f*ck with people...........but I won't
You know, I wouldn't even know where to go to do that if I wanted to.

kcfanXIII
01-24-2006, 02:28 AM
lmao, great post

Ultra Peanut
01-24-2006, 03:24 AM
http://cybersexfun.ytmnsfw.com/

Ultra Peanut
01-24-2006, 03:33 AM
Love could have blossomed. Alas, it did not.

LUUNAsea: how old are you?
Spooky Art Boi: 22.
LUUNAsea: are you really retarded?
Spooky Art Boi: Only marginally.
LUUNAsea: shiiit i like real smart people
Spooky Art Boi: I mean, I have Down's
syndrome but it doesn't exceptionally affect my
life.
LUUNAsea: so what do you study?
LUUNAsea: i dont believe you, but anywya
Spooky Art Boi: Sequential art and design.
Also theoretical reality. And I like Happy Meals.
LUUNAsea: damn, you are random
LUUNAsea: my ex-love was an older hot
black art student
Spooky Art Boi: The whole Happy Meals thing
is all part of my spectacular retardedness.
LUUNAsea: im fraid of you and everything
you stand for :-P
Spooky Art Boi: Oh yes? I'm pretty fearsome.
Spooky Art Boi: Now, I'm older? How old are
you?
LUUNAsea: im 20
Spooky Art Boi: Ah, so I am somnewhat older.
LUUNAsea: somewhat...
Spooky Art Boi: Yes. I made a typo. Dash it
all!
LUUNAsea: where do you go to school...?
you do go, dont you?
Spooky Art Boi: I no longer go, I attended at
the Tilden Arts Centre on the Cape.
LUUNAsea: lovely///
Spooky Art Boi: You think?
LUUNAsea: well, probably
Spooky Art Boi: It is, in fact, lovely. Many
wonderful people there.
LUUNAsea: yeah, art school is cool huh
Spooky Art Boi: I thought so. Lots of creativity,
expressing oneself, so on, so forth.
LUUNAsea: yeah, lucky for me, i dont need
art school for that
LUUNAsea: but my school is right next to
MassArt
Spooky Art Boi: Oh? Where's that?
LUUNAsea: boston
LUUNAsea: northeastern
Spooky Art Boi: I know, but...ah.
Spooky Art Boi: I didn't know what school.
LUUNAsea: yeah, i go to NU..... its lovely
Spooky Art Boi: So I hear. I myself frequent
the Kenmore area.
LUUNAsea: oh yeah? i ride the bus!
Spooky Art Boi: I myself do not ride the bus. I
ride the short bus, with my fellow retards.
LUUNAsea: oh god~!
Spooky Art Boi: I know, I know. It's sad and
tragic.
Spooky Art Boi: Although on the upside, I get
mad sympathy.
LUUNAsea: you sound pretty damn
articulate
Spooky Art Boi: I clap my hands and pretend
to like Power Rangers or some such shit, and
bam. Women all round. Being retarded is great.
Spooky Art Boi: I'm sort of articulate for a
moron, I admit, but really in person I'm a mess.
Drooling and all.
LUUNAsea: ok, your takin this too far... im
gonna go out and play now
Spooky Art Boi: What? Are youi prejudiced?
Spooky Art Boi: This is because I'm black, isn't
it?
LUUNAsea: oh shoot- got a pic?
Spooky Art Boi: All right, all right, I'll explain.
Spooky Art Boi: I am not actually retarded. I
do have a slight disorder. Have you ever heard
of Munchausen syndrome?
LUUNAsea: yes.... but i forget what it is
Spooky Art Boi: I am what we in the business
call an "outrageous liar."
Spooky Art Boi: I am not really retarded.
LUUNAsea: ok so you are bullshittin me
right now then right?
Spooky Art Boi: Well, see, that's where it gets
tricky.
LUUNAsea: oh man, can we talk later? i
gotta bounce fa real
Spooky Art Boi: Curses.
LUUNAsea: yeah totally...
Spooky Art Boi: Yes, you can later chat with
my strong Nubian self.
LUUNAsea: IM me ANYTIME
LUUNAsea: oh shiiiit ;-) bye
Spooky Art Boi: I would love to. In a black
way.
Spooky Art Boi: Bye!

Otter
01-24-2006, 05:06 AM
ROFL - I have a sick sense of humor

cheesedog: Now...Slimer sticks his green, slimey prick in your pigmentless ass.
cheesedog: **HE SLIMES YOU!**
VictimX_27: Never talk to me again!
cheesedog: He cums all over your hair... but no one notices cause its the same color
VictimX_27: YOUUUU
cheesedog: He eats a powdered donut!
VictimX_27: SHUT UP AND **** YOUUUU!!!!!
cheesedog: o wait! It was your hand, you scary, white whore!
VictimX_27: LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
cheesedog: Chill out, Casper. You're trapped, I said.

You know, I wouldn't even know where to go to do that if I wanted to.

Neither would I actually and I'm afraid to click on Psicosis's link. Aw what the hell, I'll be Thunder_Nipples_733t if you guys are looking for me.

Fried Meat Ball!
01-24-2006, 06:41 AM
The first couple of those cracked me up, but the one with the albino chick I didn't like too much. The others were funny, but that one seemed mean-spirited.

jspchief
01-24-2006, 08:12 AM
ROFL ROFL

Holy shit. That last exchange with the albino had me laughing so hard I was crying. Good stuff.

arrowheadnation
01-24-2006, 10:11 AM
^^no kidding. I was laughing so damn hard when he said, "Egon blasts your pasty white ass."

Dunit35
01-24-2006, 10:26 AM
cheesedog: I place my mouth on your asshole as I eat you from behind
cheesedog: I wiggle my tounge around across your moist hole
VictimX_27: yessss
cheesedog: I cover your ears with my hands as I eat you.
cheesedog: Egon and Ray sneak in from the back.
cheesedog: *Powering up Proton packs*

That part is funny. Shes probably getting all hot and stuff and then BAM he comes out of nowhere with this comment.

Dunit35
01-24-2006, 10:31 AM
It looks like Gochiefs was on the internet this weekend.

But seriously...this dude is probably like 50 or something.

Lono
01-24-2006, 10:52 AM
Holy shit those were great! I shouldnt have read those during class. I about fell out of my chair laughing.

picasso
01-24-2006, 12:12 PM
I can't STOP laughin man, GOD!!!! Make it stop!!!

Proton Packs LOL!!!!!

arrowheadnation
01-24-2006, 03:14 PM
If you wish to read more like these, go to http://www.fugly.com

RedDread
01-24-2006, 03:44 PM
http://bash.org/?top

Ultra Peanut
01-24-2006, 05:36 PM
Yeah... the rhino one (http://bash.org/?101881) is from bash.org.

Neither would I actually and I'm afraid to click on Psicosis's link.It's just a screencap of a transcript. Probably more funny if you're familiar with a certain YTMND (http://*****stolemybike.ytmnsfw.com/) fad (http://nsmbreal.ytmnsfw.com/)

Lzen
01-24-2006, 06:39 PM
I've seen some of those before, but some of them I haven't. That last one had me in tears. Funny stuff, man. ROFL

Iowanian
01-24-2006, 07:50 PM
I wish I'd had the foresight to be the original blood ninja.

I have no idea where people even "do" that stuff.

chiefy
01-24-2006, 09:02 PM
where can people think up sh*t like this to say??

haven't laughed that hard since first watchin lazy sunday

Iowanian
01-24-2006, 09:04 PM
There is stuff of better quality on this board at least every 2 weeks.

Dunit35
01-25-2006, 12:15 AM
Im still laughing on the Egon and Ray sneak up behind you thing. Powering up proton packs.

Ultra Peanut
01-26-2006, 11:13 PM
[Toller] hey jaimer
[jaimer] hey
[Toller] i loves you sweet ass, baby
[jaimer] excuse me?
[Toller] we gonna get together an **** tonight
[Toller] right?
[jaimer] You stupid shit
[Toller] ?
[Toller] What?
[jaimer] This is toby johnson, right
[Toller] you know it is, duh.
[jaimer] I'm doing tech support on Jamie's computer
[jaimer] I'm her father, you little shit
[Toller] hah!
[Toller] what's
[Toller] your joking right/
[jaimer] I am. I know where you live. I'm coming over to your house now. Don't try to run, I'll find you.
[Toller] Jamie, it's not funny
[Toller] Jaime?
[psmylie] You're screwed, dude. Her dad's psycho
[Toller] ****
[Toller] ****!
[psmylie] best run, boy
*** Toller has quit IRC (Quit: )
[psmylie] You're an evil bitch, Jamie.
[jaimer] lol
[psmylie] brilliant... but evil
[jaimer] he's an asshole anyways

Ultra Peanut
01-26-2006, 11:47 PM
I'm not even going to pretend this is even the least bit relevant.

[otto|sleep] 3. What is the longest river in Scotland?
[otto|sleep] Here's your 1st hint: t__
[rP^paveway] teh river
[otto|sleep] Here's your 2nd hint: ta_
[rP^paveway] tet
[rP^paveway] tat
[rP^paveway] taq
[rP^paveway] taw
[rP^paveway] tae
[rP^paveway] tas
[rP^paveway] tad
[rP^paveway] tag
[rP^paveway] tac
[rP^paveway] tah
[rP^paveway] taf
[rP^paveway] taj
[rP^paveway] tak
[rP^paveway] tab
[rP^paveway] tan
[rP^paveway] tam
[rP^paveway] cmon...
[otto|sleep] Time's up! The answer was: tay
[rP^paveway] mother of god