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CosmicPal
02-07-2006, 10:26 AM
I should be so lucky. You wouldn't believe all the stuff I've won today according to my e-mail headers:

I scored 85% off printer ink! Whoohoo!

Some James Miller is giving me, get this, FREE airplane tickets!

Linda Ross is giving me complimentary ringtones! I love it!

Not only is James Miller providing FREE airplane tickets, but so is Phillip Carson. Holy sh*t! I'll never have to buy another plane ticket again.

Donna Greene has given me the chance to "legally" eliminate all my debt. I should be so lucky. Maybe she'll let me "legally" eliminate all her fears in bed?

If that wasn't enough, I'm offered the rare chance to win all of Oprah's things. Has Oprah fallen on hard times or something?

Apparently I just won a $500 Old Navy Shopping Spree? Oh really?

I've also won a FREE I-pod. Sweet!

And a 42" Panasonic Plasma TV. Good gawd, I've won everything I can imagine today!

And if that wasn't enough, Brenda Moore is offering me whiter teeth in 15 minutes. That's probably more time than I want to spend with her, so I'll pass on that one.

I just love getting e-mails, don't you?

Inspector
02-07-2006, 10:38 AM
I'm wondering if anyone won a can of Spam?

Bwana
02-07-2006, 10:41 AM
One of the nice things about having a computer, being on line and receiving e-mail messages, is that just when you feel no one on the outside world cares about you, someone like my new friend Jimmy shows up.

I recently received a message with the heading.. Greg. Right off the bat I knew the person sending the message had a real desire to be my friend; otherwise he wouldnít start by using my first name. I am then informed that his first name is Jimmy.

It turns out my new friend Jimmy is writing to address the subject of my property on Willow Place. Jimmy and I refer to it as my property instead of my palatial estate. The only person who is under the impression it must be a palatial estate is the tax assessor.

Jimmy advises me it appears from an analysis of my mortgage done by his organization, I am overpaying substantially each month. He explains this may be because I received a standard traditional loan, when I now qualify for other financing options.

My new friend Jimmy says one of their strategists who deal with accounts in Billings was assigned to create my account. He says their strategist will outline the details of their findings to me, and help me fine-tune the strategy accordingly.

Jimmy concludes by thanking me for the opportunity to earn my business and to help me reach my financial goals.

It was very thoughtful of Jimmy to go out of his way to help me reach my financial goals. If Jimmyís organization hadnít gone to the trouble of doing an analysis of my mortgage, the thought would never have entered my mind that I might be making a substantial overpayment each month. You see, mortgage overpayment isnít generally one of your primary concerns when your house is paid for, and you havenít made a mortgage payment for about two years.

At the risk of putting a damper on our new friendship, Iím afraid Iíll have to drop Jimmy a note advising him he is fishing in a creek that has already been fished out, and while it pains me to say so, I suspect the primary reason for his sending me a personalized form letter was not to help me reach my financial goals, but rather to help him reach his financial goals.

Katipan
02-07-2006, 10:42 AM
Did anyone else ever eat Deviled Ham?

Fish
02-07-2006, 11:00 AM
I got this gem in the spambox today...... I really don't know if I should be worried or elated..... This is exactly as it appears.....


Subject: UPSET BCOZ OF UR SHORT DlCK? LONGER 2" WITH THIS supposedto

appearance shining slow mentioned?
end edge embarrass bad.
drew thus allow mischievous you slow? human benefit whom social.
use window anything friends young. end fly off a the my.
wrong nothing respect window? anybody social news.



I could be wrong, but I think it means "in my country your penis would be huge, and many women would love you! Please accept these free replacement windows for your house!"

sedated
02-07-2006, 11:08 AM
good news is rampant today.

when I went to my job interview, they said I didn't meat their needs at this time, but they would keep my resume on file for 6 whole months! I'm a shoe-in.

On my way home my girlfriend called and said she wanted to be friends! How great is that?! I love friends!