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Iowanian
02-07-2006, 02:11 PM
*credit to bRainman whose thread was the catalyst.

So..its the offseason.

The Challenge of this thread, is to select a situation of dire consequence, and demonstrate for the board, sollutions to that survival situation. It doesn't matter if its your own aquired knowledge, something you find on the interenet or saw on TV and can explain.

We're looking for Shelter, food, water, tools, hunting devices, wound treatment...including personal entertainment...keeping the mind alert and stimulated is important too.

Pictures and Links are bonus points.

You have 1 parka, 1 pair of shoes suitable for your situation, 1 change of cloths....a 3 blade, folding Old Timer pocket knife.....OK...that doesn't matter, since you're chosing the situation and topic.

We join our Show in progress as our Hero hears a sound.....
[Klink] He Jim, what was that sound in the tail section?....[klink]

PastorMikH
02-07-2006, 02:14 PM
We join our Show in progress as our Hero hears a sound.....
[Klink] He Jim, what was that sound in the tail section?....[klink]



Realizing the plane had been carrying terrorists in the luggage section and they are now making their way to the passenger area, PastorMikH grabs his disposable camera from his carryon bag, quickly fashions a tazer, and stuns the terrorists into submission before they can take over and crash the plane.

:D

We all survived (though when the gravitationaly challenged lady saw each terrorist starting to come to, she would kick them in the personals to keep them subdued. The terrorist's future ability to reproduce may have been jeapordized as a result.)

Bootlegged
02-07-2006, 02:16 PM
That phag keeps walkin' round here naked......

Mr. Kotter
02-07-2006, 02:18 PM
Where's the beer?

Brock
02-07-2006, 02:19 PM
Coconut butter makes a fine whacking lube.

Iowanian
02-07-2006, 02:23 PM
But poor Brock, dies a painful death, as gangreen sets in from the blisters on his pickle that became infected, as he repeatedly self stimulated to the sandcastle Pam Anderson he constructed...because no one took the time that day on Chiefsplanet, to explain how a man, stranded on a desert island, could access the interior of a coconut, without the aid of a machette.

Quickly, as he feels his last moments arriving, he uses the puss from the infected pickle to document his final wishes on the side of a flat stone. It was in vain however, as the rain washed the rancid hieroglyphics away as quickly as they were scribed.

the rosetta stone he made, baffles searchers who find him, years later.

KCTitus
02-07-2006, 02:25 PM
Getting in the coconut, sure, that's tough, but I was more interested in how to make coconut butter from a coconut.

Brock
02-07-2006, 02:26 PM
Getting in the coconut, sure, that's tough, but I was more interested in how to make coconut butter from a coconut.

We'll never know now.

Iowanian
02-07-2006, 02:31 PM
It turns out....websites on this topic are abundant.

While trying to find a picture of a shelter....a very important aspect of survival...I found this website, with explanations and pictures for the slow readers.

http://www.wilderness-survival.net/shelters-2.php

Iowanian
02-07-2006, 02:35 PM
I have made FIRE!
http://www.wilderness-survival.net/fire-5.php

Katipan
02-07-2006, 02:39 PM
When stranded at the side of the road for failure to put out, one must immediately take stock of their inventory.

Jeans can be ripped with your stiletos. Make sure you make the tears in places that will help your getting the **** home goal. Underneath the ass cheeks or on a warm enough night, just remove everything from the pockets down.

Shirts can be tied up and torn. If you run briskly for a few hundred yards you should build up a dewy shirt clinging sweat. Remove your bra for later. Use your panties as a headband. It's important you maintain whatever asthetic facial qualities you already possess.

Once you see a car coming, it's important you judge the occupant quickly. Anything you see under 50, jump up and down with your knees together waving your panties in the air. Anything over 50 or female won't stop for you anyways so chuck a rock at their car.

Once you've attracted the attention of a helpful stranger, ramble incoherently about abuse and assault. Talk about how unfair life is for your now ex-boyfriend to give you a rash (pun) of STDs only to ditch you at the side of the road. Mention the oozing and pus filled blisters.

When the driver turns his/her head to vomit out the window, garrote him/her with your bra. Make sure you do this when no other cars are around. Safety first, you know.

Park the vehicle and the corpse in the front lawn of the selfish bastard that ditched you and go **** all his friends.

Wait.

I forgot what I was talking about.

DeepSouth
02-07-2006, 04:02 PM
I was hanging on for dear life and I lost my hands;

Iowanian
02-08-2006, 03:06 PM
Anyone know about surviving an avalanch?

FAX
02-08-2006, 03:15 PM
Anyone know about surviving an avalanch?

Yes, Mr. Iowanian, it's very difficult to survive an avalanche.

That's all I really have on that.

FAX

PastorMikH
02-08-2006, 08:05 PM
Anyone know about surviving an avalanch?


I do now...

http://nsidc.org/snow/avalanche/index.html

Tribal Warfare
02-10-2006, 07:06 PM
We eat gochiefs

PastorMikH
02-10-2006, 07:41 PM
OK, here you go...


You and a buddy have hiked up the moutains (Rockies - you can pick the state) to a remote lake up towards the top of the mountain. Since it is a one day outing, you have your Flyrod, tackle, and a daypack with regular daypack items. You've had a great day fishing, and you take a break from the action to take in the surroundings. You start to lecture your pal 'cause amidst all the fire warnings, he decides to light up a smoke. As you are sitting there lecturing him and looking at the lake, you notice smoke from below. You quickly grab your gear, turn the fish loose (You realize they will just slow you down on your run, so you take them off the stringer and throw them back in - most swim off, but a few are floating:() Anyhow, you start off down the mountain, normally it would take about an hour to cover the meadow of dry grass and rocks back to the treeline and, more importantly the truck (a 2006 Nissan Titan 4x4). The fire is still a ways down the slope and away from the trail the truck is parked on so if you hurry, you should get out OK. About halfway down the meadow to the truck, as you are rushing down the slope, you step on a rock, it turns and down you go. Your buddy is laughing hysterically at you as you roll down the slope. Finally coming to a stop, you try to get up and realize you have just broke your ankle and can't do much more than crawl. You notice the fire is getting closer - and it isn't taking its time either. Your pal, feeling bad now for laughing at you, decided that even though he could still make the truck and get out, he's not leaving you alone. You've covered about half of the rest of the distance to the truck when the fire reaches the tree line and starts burning up the grass slope, cuts you off from the truck, and is burning your way. You have just a few minutes before the fire is all around you.....


What do you do?

Logical
02-10-2006, 08:17 PM
We eat gochiefsMaybe you do.:shake:

Hydrae
02-10-2006, 08:24 PM
Anyone know about surviving an avalanch?


About all I know is that once you come to a stop (assuming you are conscious still), you let spittle run out of your mouth so that you can determine which way is up.

Tribal Warfare
02-10-2006, 08:24 PM
Maybe you do.:shake:
Don't tell me that all in all, If stranded in the artic, or an isolated tropical area with no viable food source that you wouldn't turn on him first.

:fire: :evil:

Logical
02-10-2006, 08:26 PM
Don't tell me that all in all, If stranded in the artic, or an isolated tropical area with no viable food source that you wouldn't turn on him first.

:fire: :evil:I say we use him as bear bait.

Tribal Warfare
02-10-2006, 08:28 PM
I say we use him as bear bait.

Fair enough

sedated
02-10-2006, 08:32 PM
OK, here you go...


You and a buddy have hiked up the moutains (Rockies - you can pick the state) to a remote lake up towards the top of the mountain. Since it is a one day outing, you have your Flyrod, tackle, and a daypack with regular daypack items. You've had a great day fishing, and you take a break from the action to take in the surroundings. You start to lecture your pal 'cause amidst all the fire warnings, he decides to light up a smoke. As you are sitting there lecturing him and looking at the lake, you notice smoke from below. You quickly grab your gear, turn the fish loose (You realize they will just slow you down on your run, so you take them off the stringer and throw them back in - most swim off, but a few are floating:() Anyhow, you start off down the mountain, normally it would take about an hour to cover the meadow of dry grass and rocks back to the treeline and, more importantly the truck (a 2006 Nissan Titan 4x4). The fire is still a ways down the slope and away from the trail the truck is parked on so if you hurry, you should get out OK. About halfway down the meadow to the truck, as you are rushing down the slope, you step on a rock, it turns and down you go. Your buddy is laughing hysterically at you as you roll down the slope. Finally coming to a stop, you try to get up and realize you have just broke your ankle and can't do much more than crawl. You notice the fire is getting closer - and it isn't taking its time either. Your pal, feeling bad now for laughing at you, decided that even though he could still make the truck and get out, he's not leaving you alone. You've covered about half of the rest of the distance to the truck when the fire reaches the tree line and starts burning up the grass slope, cuts you off from the truck, and is burning your way. You have just a few minutes before the fire is all around you.....


What do you do?



I use the enter key a few times so someone will actually read all that crap

PastorMikH
02-10-2006, 08:41 PM
I use the enter key a few times so someone will actually read all that crap



Gee, I like your posts too. :rolleyes: :p :p :)

sedated
02-10-2006, 08:45 PM
Gee, I like your posts too. :rolleyes: :p :p :)


ROFL

PastorMikH
02-15-2006, 11:43 AM
OK, here you go...


You and a buddy have hiked up the moutains (Rockies - you can pick the state) to a remote lake up towards the top of the mountain. Since it is a one day outing, you have your Flyrod, tackle, and a daypack with regular daypack items. You've had a great day fishing, and you take a break from the action to take in the surroundings. You start to lecture your pal 'cause amidst all the fire warnings, he decides to light up a smoke. As you are sitting there lecturing him and looking at the lake, you notice smoke from below. You quickly grab your gear, turn the fish loose (You realize they will just slow you down on your run, so you take them off the stringer and throw them back in - most swim off, but a few are floating:() Anyhow, you start off down the mountain, normally it would take about an hour to cover the meadow of dry grass and rocks back to the treeline and, more importantly the truck (a 2006 Nissan Titan 4x4). The fire is still a ways down the slope and away from the trail the truck is parked on so if you hurry, you should get out OK. About halfway down the meadow to the truck, as you are rushing down the slope, you step on a rock, it turns and down you go. Your buddy is laughing hysterically at you as you roll down the slope. Finally coming to a stop, you try to get up and realize you have just broke your ankle and can't do much more than crawl. You notice the fire is getting closer - and it isn't taking its time either. Your pal, feeling bad now for laughing at you, decided that even though he could still make the truck and get out, he's not leaving you alone. You've covered about half of the rest of the distance to the truck when the fire reaches the tree line and starts burning up the grass slope, cuts you off from the truck, and is burning your way. You have just a few minutes before the fire is all around you.....


What do you do?


Ba-da-bump

hint, this scenario is based on woodland firefighting techniques.

NewChief
02-15-2006, 11:48 AM
What do you do?

Either dig a fire line or set a back fire. Smoke inhalation is going to be a problem, though.

PastorMikH
02-15-2006, 12:06 PM
Either dig a fire line or set a back fire. Smoke inhalation is going to be a problem, though.


Digging a fireline would be tough with only fishing poles and a daypack. Backfire would also be tough with the updrafts of the fire pushing the flames back towards you - but you're getting warm.;)