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CoMoChief
02-09-2006, 06:08 PM
Police Beat: Indecent exposure in library
by Shea Drefs
published on Thursday, February 2, 2006

ASU police reported the following incidents Wednesday:

An 18-year-old male ASU student was arrested Sunday night at Hayden Library and charged with indecent exposure and public sexual indecency. The suspect allegedly pulled his pants and underwear to his mid-thighs to masturbate while watching pornography on his laptop. When asked why he had gone to the library to view pornography and masturbate, the suspect allegedly told police, "To be honest, the Internet connection at my dorm isn't good enough."



Hey at least he's being honest. Can't be mad at him for that I guess. This guy's gonna be made fun of for the rest of his life. I bet he transfers.

Cochise
02-09-2006, 06:09 PM
Is that wrong?

kaplin42
02-09-2006, 06:12 PM
will his library card be revoked?

Count Alex's Wins
02-09-2006, 06:12 PM
I got away with it. I guess technically I wasn't in public but... :D

blueballs
02-09-2006, 06:12 PM
dewey decimal system at work

FloridaChief
02-09-2006, 06:14 PM
Arizona State or Appalachian State University?

Calcountry
02-09-2006, 06:14 PM
This is disturbating.

Sully
02-09-2006, 06:15 PM
So I guess they frown on that?

Delano
02-09-2006, 06:17 PM
This summer, while I was working for the park department in my town, a co-worker was fired for masturbating on the job.

He was picking up a wireless network at the swimming pool and downloading porn late at night. Well one night the night supervisor walked in on him at a very crucial point in said coworker's session. Needless to say it was the most embarrassing moment in two people's lives right then.

Poor kid was anxious enough the way it was. I imagine he is ruined after that.

Chief Roundup
02-09-2006, 06:19 PM
Arkansas State University?

Frazod
02-09-2006, 06:47 PM
Sounds like Handjob from Full Metal Jacket. ROFL

4th and Long
02-09-2006, 06:51 PM
Starting a masturbation thread with the words "Police beat indecent expose" is pure genius.

Skip Towne
02-09-2006, 06:53 PM
Paul Ruben? Is that you?

listopencil
02-09-2006, 08:01 PM
I wonder if they would have busted a female student for this? Because I sure as hell wouldn't have.

Dunit35
02-09-2006, 08:04 PM
Maybe it's time for the school to upgrade their internet in the dorms.

Smed1065
02-09-2006, 08:35 PM
I am glad I was raised in a "Magazine" era. Looks like it saved me a lot of trouble. :)

keg in kc
02-09-2006, 08:36 PM
I always wanted to get laid in the library.

'course, right now, I'd take getting laid anywhere. I'm not picky anymore.

Boozer
02-09-2006, 08:52 PM
Arizona State or Appalachian State University?

Hayden Library = Arizona State. This police beat entry ain't got shit on my roommate. The write-up of his public urination incident included the quote "I ain't ashamed of nothin'."

Skip Towne
02-09-2006, 08:58 PM
I am glad I was raised in a "Magazine" era. Looks like it saved me a lot of trouble. :)
But didn't you get ink all over your pickle?

Bowser
02-09-2006, 09:02 PM
I bet he transfers to Berkeley.

FAX
02-09-2006, 09:04 PM
The library had a selection
Of resources that caused erection
A lad there once lusted
Until he was busted
"Hey, I just needed a better connection!"

FAX

Smed1065
02-09-2006, 09:05 PM
He-l thats nothing compared to getting arrested for having it out and shorting out your laptop! That is how he got caught, his laptop started shooting sparks.

Update:
Now they are reporting that it might have been something beside hit laptop that was "shooting" sparks.

Boozer
02-09-2006, 09:05 PM
Ironically, the library is probably about the only place within that square mile that doesn't have hot chicks crawling all over the place.

Well, the library and the Vine.

Skip Towne
02-09-2006, 09:13 PM
Ironically, the library is probably about the only place within that square mile that doesn't have hot chicks crawling all over the place.

Well, the library and the Vine.
The hot chicks crawl around in Arizona? That's kinda weird.

Boozer
02-09-2006, 09:13 PM
The hot chicks crawl around in Arizona? That's kinda weird.

We kneecap them so they're easier to catch.

FAX
02-09-2006, 09:16 PM
Once a librarian was clerking
When she noticed a student was smirking
She said to a friend,
"I don't mean to offend
But is he studying or is he jerking?"

FAX

Skip Towne
02-09-2006, 09:19 PM
We kneecap them so they're easier to catch.
You're always thinking. It puts them in the right position too.

FAX
02-09-2006, 09:22 PM
The library has just one rule here
Be quiet. Don't act like a fool here
When the librarian saw
A d*ck the size of a straw
She said, "I didn't know Taco John went to school here."

FAX

Skip Towne
02-09-2006, 09:25 PM
The library has just one rule here
Be quiet. Don't act like a fool here
When the librarian saw
A d*ck the size of a straw
She said, "I didn't know Taco John went to school here."

FAX
Is this a budding Planet romance? You seem extraordinarily interested in Taco John in a sexual way.

ENDelt260
02-09-2006, 09:27 PM
Well, the library and the Vine.

Hey, I pulled a hot chick out of the Vine once.

FAX
02-09-2006, 09:30 PM
Is this a budding Planet romance? You seem extraordinarily interested in Taco John in a sexual way.

Perhaps not in the way you may mean, Mr. Skip Towne.

Taco's undoubtedly infitessimal member has become a continuing theme in my art.

FAX

Smed1065
02-09-2006, 09:34 PM
Was you playing Tarzan? Or just showing her your banana.

Boozer
02-09-2006, 09:35 PM
Hey, I pulled a hot chick out of the Vine once.

When was that? She wasn't some fatty running a fever, was she?

ENDelt260
02-09-2006, 09:36 PM
When was that? She wasn't some fatty running a fever, was she?
Kat.

Remember? The next Madonna? That was psychic. ROFL

Boozer
02-09-2006, 09:37 PM
Kat.

Remember? The next Madonna? That was psychic. ROFL

Sorry, Kat doesn't exactly pop into my mind when you say "hot chick." Not the greatest looker, but I hear she killed at the Improv. ROFL "Fresh, clean? Why are they bragging about being showered?"

ENDelt260
02-09-2006, 09:38 PM
Sorry, Kat doesn't exactly pop into my mind when you say "hot chick." Not the greatest looker, but I hear she killed at the Improv. ROFL "Fresh, clean? Why are they bragging about being showered?"
ROFL

Toss back a few steins and she was gorgeous. Still wasn't very funny, though.

Boozer
02-09-2006, 09:40 PM
ROFL

Toss back a few steins and she was gorgeous. Still wasn't very funny, though.

On the plus side, I don't believe she's ever emailed ChiefsPlanet administration to have all references to her deleted. So she has that going for her, which is nice.

ENDelt260
02-09-2006, 09:45 PM
On the plus side, I don't believe she's ever emailed ChiefsPlanet administration to have all references to her deleted. So she has that going for her, which is nice.
I could post her full name and see how it long it takes her to.

ENDelt260
02-09-2006, 09:47 PM
Funny thing about that other girl, though. I went through that thread and changed all the references to her name. But, if you google her first name, the Planet is still the first hit.

Boozer
02-09-2006, 09:48 PM
Funny thing about that other girl, though. I went through that thread and changed all the references to her name. But, if you google her first name, the Planet is still the first hit.

What did you change it to? "Mah-uh-uh?"

Boozer
02-09-2006, 09:48 PM
I could post her full name and see how it long it takes her to.

Which one? "Condor" or the other one?

ENDelt260
02-09-2006, 09:51 PM
What did you change it to? "Mah-uh-uh?"
Mukmuk

ENDelt260
02-09-2006, 09:52 PM
Which one? "Condor" or the other one?
ROFL Nice code word. Yes, "Condor".

Boozer
02-09-2006, 09:53 PM
Mukmuk

Is that Tagalog?

ENDelt260
02-09-2006, 09:54 PM
Is that Tagalog?
ROFL No.

ENDelt260
02-09-2006, 09:54 PM
Well. I mean... I don't think so.

Boozer
02-09-2006, 09:56 PM
Well. I mean... I don't think so.

ROFL There's a 50% chance it's a dish involving Guinea pig.

ENDelt260
02-09-2006, 09:56 PM
Heh... I should hide this thread while Katipan's not around.

Katipan
02-09-2006, 10:32 PM
I wonder what Boozer is like on Roofies.

ENDelt260
02-09-2006, 10:32 PM
I wonder what Boozer is like on Roofies.
We could find out tomorrow if you want, sweetheart.

Katipan
02-09-2006, 10:33 PM
Are you going to explain all my jokes, darling? :(

ENDelt260
02-09-2006, 10:34 PM
Are you going to explain all my jokes, darling? :(
Sorry. I've been drinking.

Miles
02-09-2006, 10:36 PM
Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ingnorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frouned upon, you know, cause I've worked in a lot of offices and I tell you peope do that all the time.

KCChiefsMan
02-09-2006, 10:37 PM
this guy must have no imagination

mcan
02-09-2006, 11:19 PM
He wasn't really hurting anybody... It sucks that they have to call the police for this kind of thing. He got CAUGHT, but he didn't intentionally expose himself to anyone.

I'm not saying that masturbating in public should be decriminalized, but this kid is going to have to register as a SEX OFFENDER, and that will follow him around until he is old and grey... By the time he is 50, he will still be on that list, and that list will be (it already is) available to everybody with an internet connection and the time to look up the sex offenders in their neighborhood. He will be lumped onto the same list as all the guys who kidnapped a 12 year old girl... The neighbors won't descriminate... He will have a hell of a time finding a decent job...

This really sucks for him.

ENDelt260
02-09-2006, 11:20 PM
mcan, while I certainly agree that masturbating in a college library is not on the level of diddling a five year old girl.... the guy had to have known what he was doing was inappropriate. I have a hard time feeling sympathy for him.

Demonpenz
02-09-2006, 11:23 PM
thats why you just wear some mesh shorts. still good good friction with that instead of just pulling your shorts down that far. what a rookie

mcan
02-09-2006, 11:26 PM
mcan, while I certainly agree that masturbating in a college library is not on the level of diddling a five year old girl.... the guy had to have known what he was doing was inappropriate. I have a hard time feeling sympathy for him.


I'm not saying it's appropriate... But I just got done surfing a site that shows all the registered sex offenders in "your" area. You type in your address, and all these dots (red, green, yellow, or blue) start appearing around your house. You click on the red dot, and up pops a mugshot and a name... it's scary. Some of those guys got arrested for 'indecent exposure' some of them got arrested for raping young children. That's a pretty huge difference, IMO. And I can just imagine how some 18 year old kid looking to get off can seriously mess up the rest of his life by getting put on one of those lists, and consequently one of those websites... :shake:

ENDelt260
02-09-2006, 11:28 PM
I have a friend who got a couple public urination tickets down here. He was told if he got a third, he'd be a registered sex offender. Now, the cop may have been bluffing to scare him as cops are known to lie.... but, I could see how a cop could write an indecent exposure ticket to a dude standing outside with his weiner out. Even though he wasn't trying to show it to a kid... just take a piss cause he was drunk.

Um... I forgot my point.

Miles
02-09-2006, 11:46 PM
Um... I forgot my point.

Don't pull your package out in public?

ENDelt260
02-09-2006, 11:50 PM
Don't pull your package out in public?
Luckily mine's small enough no one would notice.

Ari Chi3fs
02-10-2006, 06:51 AM
he should have just hooked up with a substitute teacher or something.

greg63
02-10-2006, 07:10 AM
Is that wrong?


"Should I have not done that? 'Cause I gotta tell ya; I gotta claim ignorance on this thing."

plbrdude
02-10-2006, 08:04 AM
i guess the feller never heard the term "pocket pool".