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Count Zarth
02-13-2006, 07:31 PM
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1722414.html?menu=news.quirkies

Pencil in penis backfires

A Serbian man needed emergency surgery after sticking a pencil inside his penis to keep it stiff during sex.

Zeljko Tupic, from Belgrade, told doctors he had experienced erectile difficulties in the past.

So as he prepared for a night with his new lover, he decided to insert a thin pencil into his penis.

Tupic had to cut his sex session short when the pencil shifted and became lodged in his bladder, forcing him to call an ambulance, the daily Kurir reported.

Doctor Aleksandar Milosevic from Belgrade's Zvezdara hospital, who succesfully removed the pencil, said: "At first the patient did not tell us what really happened, but x-rays proved the truth.

"Tupic said he had no idea there were things like Viagra available but agreed that in future he will try pills before he takes any more chances with pencils."

Pierce
02-13-2006, 07:32 PM
Ouch.

cdcox
02-13-2006, 07:33 PM
Tupic... toothpick... heh, heh.

Simplex3
02-13-2006, 07:33 PM
At no time have I ever even considered the possibility of putting anything IN my d**k. This guy is an idiot.

mike_b_284
02-13-2006, 07:34 PM
Ouch.


Captain Obvious

Smed1065
02-13-2006, 07:42 PM
I just would have to start licking her if I could not get it up, he-l no pencil no way!

I feel sick to my stomach or should I say bladder now. :)

plbrdude
02-13-2006, 07:54 PM
that whole story reeks of unnaturalness.

JBucc
02-13-2006, 08:01 PM
Tying the pencil to your dick I could understand...

Nzoner
02-13-2006, 08:04 PM
That gives new meaning to get the Led out.

beavis
02-13-2006, 08:06 PM
There's a short story by Chuck Palahniuk about a similar situation. I think it was called guts if I remember correctly. Apparently, this isn't unheard of in other cultures.

KChiefsQT
02-13-2006, 08:07 PM
I just got the chills and I don't even have a penis. Who posts this shit anyways???? :shake:

JBucc
02-13-2006, 08:07 PM
Who else

HolmeZz
02-13-2006, 08:18 PM
Atleast he didn't try to sharpen it.

4th and Long
02-13-2006, 08:20 PM
This guy either had a huge urethra or one really small pencil.

Count Zarth
02-13-2006, 08:22 PM
This guy either had a huge urethra or one really small pencil.

I am curious about the length of his member, unless he shortened the pencil somehow.

HolmeZz
02-13-2006, 08:23 PM
I've gotta stop opening this topic. My dick's starting to hurt.

4th and Long
02-13-2006, 08:23 PM
I am curious about the length of his member, unless he shortened the pencil somehow.
Be more concerned about the circumference of the pencil.

*cringing*

Nzoner
02-13-2006, 08:25 PM
I am curious about the length of his member

Well color me shocked

Phobia
02-13-2006, 08:25 PM
Well, there goes my plans for valentines day. Any other ideas?

Rain Man
02-13-2006, 08:27 PM
If this happened in America, all of our pencils would soon come with a warning on the side. "WARNING: INSERTING PENCIL INTO YOUR PENIS MAY CAUSE INJURY."

KChiefsQT
02-13-2006, 08:27 PM
I am curious about the length of his member, unless he shortened the pencil somehow.
oh wow. This keeps getting wierder.

4th and Long
02-13-2006, 08:27 PM
Well, there goes my plans for valentines day. Any other ideas?
Fret not. Just purchase one of those oversized pencil eraser that slip over the end of the pencil. Insert that end first. No way in hell will it slip into your baldder.

You're welcome.

Count Zarth
02-13-2006, 08:28 PM
Well, there goes my plans for valentines day. Any other ideas?

Get your missus to show you how to insert some tables into word.

Simplex3
02-13-2006, 08:31 PM
Well, there goes my plans for valentines day. Any other ideas?
Grab a glass rod and a hammer.

KChiefsQT
02-13-2006, 08:32 PM
How are you men with dicks reading this shit? My body is crawling all over.

4th and Long
02-13-2006, 08:34 PM
How are you men with dicks reading this shit? My body is crawling all over.
Ever been kicked in the nuts?

Nuff said.

Count Zarth
02-13-2006, 08:35 PM
How are you men with dicks reading this shit? My body is crawling all over.

I'm not affected by such things. I guess some people faint at the sight of blood.

KChiefsQT
02-13-2006, 08:36 PM
Ever been kicked in the nuts?

Nuff said.

So, now you're implying I have nuts?




ROFL

Simplex3
02-13-2006, 08:36 PM
I'm not affected by such things. I guess some people faint at the sight of blood.
Born without one, huh?

Rain Man
02-13-2006, 08:37 PM
How are you men with dicks reading this shit? My body is crawling all over.

I innocently clicked on a tubgirl link once, and ever since then, nothing can shock or disgust me.

Well, other than the Broncos.

4th and Long
02-13-2006, 08:38 PM
So, now you're implying I have nuts?




ROFL
No. :p but if you had experienced that pain, you'd understand how we can talk about this with relative calmness.

Count Zarth
02-13-2006, 08:41 PM
Shouldn't the article have been titled, simply "Pencil in penis?"

I mean...OBVIOUSLY it backfired.

Nzoner
02-13-2006, 08:42 PM
How are you men with dicks reading this shit? My body is crawling all over.

Once you've had your dick caught in a zipper nothing else really seems too painful.

4th and Long
02-13-2006, 08:45 PM
Once you've had your dick caught in a zipper nothing else really seems too painful.
Thank you, Ted Stroehmann.

http://www.cinema.com/image_lib/1019_007_thumb.jpg

stevieray
02-13-2006, 08:45 PM
How are you men with dicks

As opposed to?

Nzoner
02-13-2006, 08:45 PM
Thank you, Ted Stroehmann.

http://www.cinema.com/image_lib/1019_007_thumb.jpg


"We got a bleeder!!"

Rain Man
02-13-2006, 08:46 PM
That scene was painful, but there were two parts that really stand out to me as hilarious.

The first was when Markie Post (the mom) jumped in and sprayed Bactine on him.

The second was obvious. "Just yank it down." followed by "We have a bleeder!"

stevieray
02-13-2006, 08:54 PM
That scene was painful, but there were two parts that really stand out to me as hilarious.

The first was when Markie Post (the mom) jumped in and sprayed Bactine on him.

The second was obvious. "Just yank it down." followed by "We have a bleeder!"


mmmm. markie post.

KChiefsQT
02-13-2006, 08:55 PM
As opposed to?
men without dicks

stevieray
02-13-2006, 08:57 PM
men without dicks

today's women?

KChiefsQT
02-13-2006, 09:01 PM
today's women?
I've met some men... that just couldn't have dicks, or a set of jewels. It wouldn't be possible.

Rain Man
02-13-2006, 09:03 PM
mmmm. markie post.


Mmmmm.


I told my parents that I watched Night Court because of John Laroquette, but truthfully it was just to watch Ms. Sullivan jiggle up to the bench.

stevieray
02-13-2006, 09:07 PM
Mmmmm.


I told my parents that I watched Night Court because of John Laroquette, but truthfully it was just to watch Ms. Sullivan jiggle up to the bench.

I liked the episode where she took care of the baby at home. In nightgowns and robes.

I'm old school. I like something left for the imagination.

stumppy
02-13-2006, 09:18 PM
I am curious about the length of his member................

Maybe you can catch up with him in a bathroom peeker.

Count Zarth
02-13-2006, 09:18 PM
Maybe you can catch up with him in a bathroom peeker.

I think the airfare would be prohibitive.

Sure-Oz
02-13-2006, 09:24 PM
At no time have I ever even considered the possibility of putting anything IN my d**k. This guy is an idiot.
No ****ing shit, wtf

Jenny Gump
02-13-2006, 09:56 PM
In nursing school, I had to take care of a sicko that stuck a pencil in his penis with a balloon around the end. Shoved that latex balloon as far up as the pencil would take it. He somehow attempted (but failed) to blow up the balloon, which I'm thinking would have been some kind of flexible feat in itself. However, he damaged his urethra with the pencil. What an idiot.

"Hi you sick f*ck. I'll be your student nurse today."

Archie F. Swin
02-13-2006, 10:36 PM
Some people will do anything to make their backpack lighter.

dj56dt58
02-13-2006, 11:07 PM
In nursing school, I had to take care of a sicko that stuck a pencil in his penis with a balloon around the end. Shoved that latex balloon as far up as the pencil would take it. He somehow attempted (but failed) to blow up the balloon, which I'm thinking would have been some kind of flexible feat in itself. However, he damaged his urethra with the pencil. What an idiot.

"Hi you sick f*ck. I'll be your student nurse today."
I'm gonna have nightmares from these posts...

greg63
02-13-2006, 11:13 PM
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1722414.html?menu=news.quirkies

Pencil in penis backfires

A Serbian man needed emergency surgery after sticking a pencil inside his penis to keep it stiff during sex..."


What an idiotic moron. :shake:

greg63
02-13-2006, 11:15 PM
In nursing school, I had to take care of a sicko that stuck a pencil in his penis with a balloon around the end. Shoved that latex balloon as far up as the pencil would take it. He somehow attempted (but failed) to blow up the balloon, which I'm thinking would have been some kind of flexible feat in itself. However, he damaged his urethra with the pencil. What an idiot.

"Hi you sick f*ck. I'll be your student nurse today."


ROFLROFLROFLROFL

pak1983
02-13-2006, 11:16 PM
was it a number 2?

Rausch
02-13-2006, 11:35 PM
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1722414.html?menu=news.quirkies

Pencil in penis backfires


What kind of God-frosaken opiates and hallucinogens must you be on to go ****whit enough to think this wouldn't backfire?...

Nightwish
02-14-2006, 12:08 AM
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1722414.html?menu=news.quirkies

Pencil in penis backfires

A Serbian man needed emergency surgery after sticking a pencil inside his penis to keep it stiff during sex.

Zeljko Tupic, from Belgrade, told doctors he had experienced erectile difficulties in the past.

So as he prepared for a night with his new lover, he decided to insert a thin pencil into his penis.

Tupic had to cut his sex session short when the pencil shifted and became lodged in his bladder, forcing him to call an ambulance, the daily Kurir reported.

Doctor Aleksandar Milosevic from Belgrade's Zvezdara hospital, who succesfully removed the pencil, said: "At first the patient did not tell us what really happened, but x-rays proved the truth.

"Tupic said he had no idea there were things like Viagra available but agreed that in future he will try pills before he takes any more chances with pencils."
I'm not sure which is scarier, getting a pencil stuck in your penis, or being operated on in the Balkans by a guy named Milosevic!

Dunit35
02-14-2006, 03:00 AM
I knew a girl that stuck a pencil in her vagina. She was real young and it got stuck and had to go to the ER.

el borracho
02-14-2006, 03:03 AM
Zeljko Tupic? I thought for sure it was Rich Scantron who did this.

SLAG
02-14-2006, 03:03 AM
I knew a girl that stuck a pencil in her vagina. She was real young and it got stuck and had to go to the ER.


I had heard of a girl breaking off a hot dog up in there once.

Rausch
02-14-2006, 03:30 AM
I'm not sure which is scarier, getting a pencil stuck in your penis, or being operated on in the Balkans by a guy named Milosevic!


Uh, I do.......

chagrin
02-14-2006, 05:44 AM
speechless

chagrin
02-14-2006, 05:48 AM
Okay, maybe not - I can't believe nobody has posted the words "pencil dick" yet.

MahiMike
02-14-2006, 06:06 AM
Another reason why I always use a pen instead of a pencil...

Dartgod
02-14-2006, 06:17 AM
The pen(cil) is mightier than the....er, sword.

J Diddy
02-14-2006, 08:10 AM
I wonder if it erased his balls....

Chiefnj
02-14-2006, 08:22 AM
Is there ever a time when sticking a pencil in your penis wouldn't backfire? Has there ever been an occassion in the history of mankind where someone did this and at the end of the event said "God-damn, this turned out better than I thought!"?

greg63
02-14-2006, 12:01 PM
Is there ever a time when sticking a pencil in your penis wouldn't backfire? Has there ever been an occassion in the history of mankind where someone did this and at the end of the event said "God-damn, this turned out better than I thought!"?


...Not that I know of.

plbrdude
02-14-2006, 12:07 PM
Is there ever a time when sticking a pencil in your penis wouldn't backfire? Has there ever been an occassion in the history of mankind where someone did this and at the end of the event said "God-damn, this turned out better than I thought!"?


i fail to see how the results of doing something like that could ever be good. i can't even imagine what one would be thinking.

Kclee
02-14-2006, 12:11 PM
Okay, maybe not - I can't believe nobody has posted the words "pencil dick" yet.

Or this one:

Lucky Day: Hold it El Guapo! Or I'll fill you so full of lead you'll be using your dick for a pencil!

Frankie
02-14-2006, 12:44 PM
Pencil in penis backfires.Correction,... frontfires.

ROYC75
02-14-2006, 01:11 PM
Yep, he had a pencil dick.

ROYC75
02-14-2006, 01:13 PM
Okay, maybe not - I can't believe nobody has posted the words "pencil dick" yet.

OK dickhead, I didn't read the whole thread comments, you beat me to the punch, err dick.

Extra Point
02-14-2006, 01:33 PM
Not the sharpest tool in the shed........

Rooster
02-14-2006, 01:54 PM
Or this one:

Lucky Day: Hold it El Guapo! Or I'll fill you so full of lead you'll be using your dick for a pencil!


ROFL Classic ROFL

chagrin
02-14-2006, 03:11 PM
OK dickhead, I didn't read the whole thread comments, you beat me to the punch, err dick.

That'll teach ya to write me off so quick!

err, uh...nevermind

plbrdude
02-14-2006, 03:46 PM
:LOL:

Nightwish
02-14-2006, 04:06 PM
That'll teach ya to write me off so quick!

err, uh...nevermind
Yeah, it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "write off," doesn't it? ROFL

Rep for that!

Frankie
02-14-2006, 04:48 PM
If this method worked gochiefs would write the next "War and Peace."
(At least in volume, if not quality :p)

mike_b_284
02-14-2006, 05:20 PM
Is there ever a time when sticking a pencil in your penis wouldn't backfire? Has there ever been an occassion in the history of mankind where someone did this and at the end of the event said "God-damn, this turned out better than I thought!"?

ROFL ROFL ROFL

Count Zarth
02-14-2006, 06:08 PM
If this method worked gochiefs would write the next "War and Peace."
(At least in volume, if not quality :p)

What?

Frankie
02-15-2006, 12:03 PM
What?
Never mind. It was supposed to be a joke. At a second look it's not that funny. Not one of my wittiest moments on the CP. Carry on. :)