PDA

View Full Version : Suggestions for birthday presents for whatshisname


Katipan
02-15-2006, 11:52 AM
Since you've known him longer. :p

His planned present is backordered because... well.... It just is. And that's fine. There's no huge rush for it. But I want the lug to have something to open on his natal day.

And before all the cute pervert comments come...Something I can buy him.



Not a hooker.



XOXO,
Merkatiwhateverthe****itistoday

NewChief
02-15-2006, 11:53 AM
Case of beer, couple of tabs of X, and a gram of blow.

Dartgod
02-15-2006, 11:54 AM
A new bag for you to carry his balls around in?

Stinger
02-15-2006, 11:55 AM
Fly in Chiefs4me and have her jump out of a cake?

Katipan
02-15-2006, 11:55 AM
Case of beer, couple of tabs of X, and a gram of blow.

That's how we celebrate Saturdays.

Dartgod
02-15-2006, 11:56 AM
Oooh, I know.

A premium membership at WPI!

Katipan
02-15-2006, 11:56 AM
A new bag for you to carry his balls around in?

Something for HIM, honey. We can talk about my birthday in December.

SPchief
02-15-2006, 11:58 AM
Oooh, I know.

A premium membership at WPI!


ROFL

milkman
02-15-2006, 12:01 PM
Baked beans.

SPchief
02-15-2006, 12:02 PM
Easy a steak and a blowjob

Dunit35
02-15-2006, 12:03 PM
From what I've heard on here he has a thing for bigger ladies. Get him a big lady blow up doll.

Smed1065
02-15-2006, 12:03 PM
A copy of the movie Basic Instinct 2, seems to have some good threesomes. :)

Katipan
02-15-2006, 12:05 PM
From what I've heard on here he has a thing for bigger ladies. Get him a big lady blow up doll.

I don't even know if I'm supposed to expend the effort to talk shit back to you or if you're just a mongoloid.

sedated
02-15-2006, 12:06 PM
Gift Certificate to the Liquor Store?

Dunit35
02-15-2006, 12:06 PM
I don't even know if I'm supposed to expend the effort to talk shit back to you or if you're just a mongoloid.

Hey now, I'm not talking shit...I'm more just being stupid...I sorry. :(

Hog Farmer
02-15-2006, 12:07 PM
Bag of Boar Semen with A.I. catheter.

PastorMikH
02-15-2006, 12:08 PM
gain 150 pounds for him.


:)

Dunit35
02-15-2006, 12:10 PM
Get him some of his favorite DVD's. Since his main present is on backorder.

Katipan
02-15-2006, 12:12 PM
I've given the man movies, liquor and boar semen already. :)

Geez, he's spoiled.

Stinger
02-15-2006, 12:13 PM
gain 150 pounds for him.


:)

They have not been together that long .... this is usally the gift a man gets from his wife on their first anniversary. :D

Dunit35
02-15-2006, 12:14 PM
I've given the man movies, liquor and boar semen already. :)

Geez, he's spoiled.


You could always get him a few clothing items.

Hog Farmer
02-15-2006, 12:15 PM
I've given the man movies, liquor and boar semen already. :)

Geez, he's spoiled.

You're a good girl. ROFL

Spicy McHaggis
02-15-2006, 12:15 PM
TiVo. Unless he has it. Then get him, um...






You said no hookers, right?

PastorMikH
02-15-2006, 12:15 PM
They have not been together that long .... this is usally the gift a man gets from his wife on his first anniversary. :D


LOL


My wife is still within 10 poinds of what she was when we were married almost 17 years ago - and that's after 3 kids as well. I gained more in the first month of marriage than she has during the whole time.

sedated
02-15-2006, 12:18 PM
LOL


My wife is still within 10 poinds of what she was when we were married almost 17 years ago - and that's after 3 kids as well. I gained more in the first month of marriage than she has during the whole time.


it doesn't count if she weighed 400 when you married her

milkman
02-15-2006, 12:18 PM
I've given the man movies, liquor and boar semen already. :)

Geez, he's spoiled.

There's two things a man can't ever get enough of.

One is liquor.
Just get him some more.

Hog Farmer
02-15-2006, 12:19 PM
LOL


My wife is still within 10 poinds of what she was when we were married almost 17 years ago - and that's after 3 kids as well. I gained more in the first month of marriage than she has during the whole time.

Are you telling us she weighed 250 when you got married ? ROFL

Hog Farmer
02-15-2006, 12:20 PM
Damn, I can't believe a pothead beat me to it.

luv
02-15-2006, 12:20 PM
it doesn't count if she weighed 400 when you married her
I've met his wife. She's thin.

PastorMikH
02-15-2006, 12:23 PM
it doesn't count if she weighed 400 when you married her



She was just under 120 when we got married and is at upper 120s now. And no, she's not really short either, shes about 5'4" tall.

PastorMikH
02-15-2006, 12:24 PM
I've met his wife. She's thin.



Go ahead, you can say the same for me.;):D

luv
02-15-2006, 12:26 PM
Go ahead, you can say the same for me.;):D
My momma taught me never to lie. :p

Katipan
02-15-2006, 12:26 PM
She was just under 120 when we got married and is at upper 120s now. And no, she's not really short either, shes about 5'4" tall.

God bless her metabolism.

But dammit man, that's short. :p

PastorMikH
02-15-2006, 12:29 PM
God bless her metabolism.

But dammit man, that's short. :p


She might go 5'5". She is starting to get heckled a bit from our 13 year old daughter that has passed her in the last year.


I wished I had her metabolism. Shoot, my dad was 6'0" and 150 pounds for years, now he's about 5'10" and 145lbs. Could I by chance inherit his metabolism? NOOOO! I get my moms. I probably still have some Pizza stored from 1990 somewhere around my waist.

luv
02-15-2006, 12:29 PM
God bless her metabolism.

But dammit man, that's short. :p
All the better for....never mind. This is a pastor's wife we're talking about. ;)

ENDelt260
02-15-2006, 12:30 PM
Case of beer, couple of tabs of X, and a gram of blow.
A gram? A F*CKING gram!!?!?! You insult me.

sedated
02-15-2006, 12:31 PM
Damn, I can't believe a pothead beat me to it.


quick to the pipe, quick to the...typing thing...uh...letters n stuff.











hehe, colors are funny

ENDelt260
02-15-2006, 12:32 PM
There's two things a man can't ever get enough of.

One is liquor.
Just get him some more.
Hey, SideWinder really does know me.

milkman
02-15-2006, 12:33 PM
All the better for....never mind. This is a pastor's wife we're talking about. ;)

Something akin to a religious experience?

sedated
02-15-2006, 12:39 PM
There's two things a man can't ever get enough of.

One is liquor.
Just get him some more.


if the second thing is little boys underwear, I'm gonna be very disappointed

vailpass
02-15-2006, 12:58 PM
If you already have a gift coming why not take him out for a birthday night to remember instead?

Start here for dinner & drinks:
Richardson's (description below)
1582 E Bethany Home Rd
Phoenix, AZ 85014-2434
(602) 265-5886

The Scene
Crowded and smokey? Heck yeah. But for legions of loyal fans, that's the beauty of this casual Southwestern/New Mexican restaurant and bar--a quintessential neighborhood hangout for nearly 15 years. This pueblo-style place boasts a big U-shaped bar smack in the middle of the room.

The Food
There's room for everybody. Just know that the Chorizo-stuffed pork chop, the Sandia chicken, the house salad and a slew of New Mexican specialties you'll see elsewhere actually originated here. It's all good, including interesting wood-fired pizzas, burgers and pasta dishes--all given a Southwestern twist. But don't miss Richardson's melt-in-your-mouth carne adovada, and if you come for brunch (offered every day), you'll love the eggs Benedict ladled with jalapeno hollandaise.


Go here afterwards for more drinks and music:
http://www.rhythmroom.com/

Or here:
http://www.cheznouscentral.com/index.shtml


Stop here on your way back to Scottsdale:
http://www.bsc247.com/

Now you are back to your neck of the woods; prior to stumbling back to his place get drinks and jello shots here:
http://www.azcoachhouse.com/

Phobia
02-15-2006, 01:58 PM
I think he needs a really kick ass hammock.

Or maybe an outdoor fridge.

You came with a big TV, right? Cuz that's on the list as well.

Katipan
02-15-2006, 02:00 PM
I think he needs a really kick ass hammock.

Or maybe an outdoor fridge.

You came with a big TV, right? Cuz that's on the list as well.

:D

Every TV in my home is bigger than his.

Including the one in the kid's room and the one on top of the outside fridge.

Can I buy you a plane ticket to come fix his deck that he messed up?

Phobia
02-15-2006, 02:03 PM
Can I buy you a plane ticket to come fix his deck that he messed up?

Only if you buy a plane ticket for my trailer shop too.

Katipan
02-15-2006, 02:05 PM
Only if you buy a plane ticket for my trailer shop too.

I bet you could fix it with a pocketknife and a beer.

I don't even know whats wrong with it.

But since 11/12/05 he's been telling me he has to fix it.

Phobia
02-15-2006, 02:08 PM
Bah, he just has to reassemble the bar top and set it in place - I think. Anybody can do that. Even Brian.

I'd recommend getting him some basic tools, but I saw him handle a tool while I was there. I don't recommend it. He's not exactly handy.

Katipan
02-15-2006, 02:10 PM
Bah, he just has to reassemble the bar top and set it in place - I think. Anybody can do that. Even Brian.

I'd recommend getting him some basic tools, but I saw him handle a tool while I was there. I don't recommend it. He's not exactly handy.

Would you be overly surprised to know I have every tool you could possibly need? :D

Cram your little wife in your carryon and bring her too.

Jenny Gump
02-15-2006, 02:11 PM
Personally, I think he got the present of a lifetime when you agreed to be merciful and actually date him. Sounds to me like he actually owes you a present.

ENDelt260
02-15-2006, 02:12 PM
Personally, I think he got the present of a lifetime when you agreed to be merciful and actually date him. Sounds to me like he actually owes you a present.
I keep trying to tell her that.

Katipan
02-15-2006, 02:13 PM
Personally, I think he got the present of a lifetime when you agreed to be merciful and actually date him. Sounds to me like he actually owes you a present.

awwww babygirl :D

He gets me lots of stuff. Though... I think the last present of a manicure/pedicure was so he could show off my hot feet to his horny downstairs neighbor.

But. whatever.

Jenny Gump
02-15-2006, 02:15 PM
awwww babygirl :D

He gets me lots of stuff. Though... I think the last present of a manicure/pedicure was so he could show off my hot feet to his horny downstairs neighbor.

But. whatever.

I think its romantic when your man "whores out" your toes.

A good present would be a big ol' bow taped...well, you know where.

Katipan
02-15-2006, 02:16 PM
I think its romantic when your man "whores out" your toes.

A good present would be a big ol' bow taped...well, you know where.

Yeah but Brian gets pissy when I try and see Tom's penis.

ENDelt260
02-15-2006, 02:17 PM
The neighbor in question has issues. He'll wander around bars with his camera phone snapping shots of girls' feet in sandals.

It ain't right.

ENDelt260
02-15-2006, 02:17 PM
Yeah but Brian gets pissy when I try and see Tom's penis.
There's conflicting reports on what size bow would fit it anyway.

stumppy
02-15-2006, 02:23 PM
You should get him what I got last year from my two boys and the EX. A couple of shirts and a piece of ass.

Eh, come to think of it maybe not. All three of mine were two sizes too big.:D

Phobia
02-15-2006, 02:31 PM
You should get him what I got last year from my two boys and the EX. A couple of shirts and a piece of ass.

Eh, come to think of it maybe not. All three of mine were two sizes too big.:D

Outstanding. Gloria deserves this and more.

JimNasium
02-15-2006, 03:20 PM
Vegas hooker.

JimNasium
02-15-2006, 03:23 PM
Go ahead, you can say the same for me.;):D
You know we aren't supposed to lie Pastor. :shake: :p

ENDelt260
02-15-2006, 03:24 PM
Y'know... forget about a WPI membership... I can't believe Phil didn't try to sell her a ChiefsPlanet hat. A red one. With "ENDelt260" embroidered on the back in yellow.

PastorMikH
02-15-2006, 03:32 PM
You know we aren't supposed to lie Pastor. :shake: :p



Actually, it's all according to perspective. Standing next to you, everyone looks heavy.:)

JimNasium
02-15-2006, 03:33 PM
Actually, it's all according to perspective. Standing next to you, everyone looks heavy.:)
Like I always tell my daughters, I'm 205 pounds of love.

Jenny Gump
02-15-2006, 03:40 PM
Like I always tell my daughters, I'm 205 pounds of love.

Yes you are indeed.

JimNasium
02-15-2006, 03:41 PM
Yes you are indeed.
Ahhhh, shucks.

Nzoner
02-15-2006, 03:44 PM
Plane tickets are a great idea,say for 6 or so planeteers so we can come visit and stuff.





Yes I said we,I'm expecting to be 1 of the 6 or his ass can sleep outside come next 37 Forever

Katipan
02-15-2006, 03:45 PM
So that's what we look like. :D

awesome.

Katipan
02-15-2006, 03:47 PM
Plane tickets are a great idea,say for 6 or so planeteers so we can come visit and stuff.





Yes I said we,I'm expecting to be 1 of the 6 or his ass can sleep outside come next 37 Forever

He's planning on winning the Powerball tonight.

I'll pick you up in a private jet in the morning.

sedated
02-15-2006, 03:48 PM
Plane tickets are a great idea,say for 6 or so planeteers so we can come visit and stuff.





Yes I said we,I'm expecting to be 1 of the 6 or his ass can sleep outside come next 37 Forever


can I volunteer to be 1 of the 6?

I'll just need to find a way to get my briefcase full of drugs on the plane. :hmmm:

ENDelt260
02-15-2006, 03:55 PM
can I volunteer to be 1 of the 6?

I'll just need to find a way to get my briefcase full of drugs on the plane. :hmmm:
Ship your drugs UPS.

Nzoner
02-15-2006, 03:55 PM
He's planning on winning the Powerball tonight.

I'll pick you up in a private jet in the morning.

"Hi,I'm Katipan,fly me"

sedated
02-15-2006, 04:00 PM
Ship your drugs UPS.


nice try.

and I'm sure they'd be waiting for me totally untouched when I got there. :rolleyes:

Katipan
02-15-2006, 04:17 PM
"Hi,I'm Katipan,fly me"

Hi, I'm Katipan, just how high do you want me to get you?

ChiefsFire
02-15-2006, 04:21 PM
one word.....

Motumbo

ENDelt260
02-15-2006, 04:31 PM
one word.....

Motumbo
I had some Dikembe Mutumbo shoes when I was a kid.

Jenny Gump
02-15-2006, 05:43 PM
So that's what we look like. :D

awesome.

ROFL

Donger
02-15-2006, 05:51 PM
Get an early pregnancy test.

My wife, then just a squeeze, gave me one for my birthday as a gag gift.

I didn't get the joke, however.

plbrdude
02-15-2006, 06:02 PM
have you considered "muscle car".
nothing could say i love you like a ls6 chevelle.

ENDelt260
02-15-2006, 06:22 PM
Get an early pregnancy test.

My wife, then just a squeeze, gave me one for my birthday as a gag gift.

I didn't get the joke, however.
My big bro once sent a Father's Day card to a buddy of his.

Of course... Father's Day comes during the summer... while this buddy was staying with his parents.

I bet that was a fun scene.

ENDelt260
02-15-2006, 06:23 PM
have you considered "muscle car".
nothing could say i love you like a ls6 chevelle.
Ooh, ooh... baby... I know where you can buy a Chevelle.

Katipan
02-15-2006, 06:46 PM
Ooh, ooh... baby... I know where you can buy a Chevelle.

YES! I love Donny!

I'll do his dishes. We'll get it for nothing.

PastorMikH
02-15-2006, 09:15 PM
Ooh, ooh... baby... I know where you can buy a Chevette.



Say, Katipan, there's an idea. Don't pay too much though, chevettes aren't all that popular anymore.

ENDelt260
02-15-2006, 09:22 PM
He might have a Chevette for sale, too.

Complete with plastic spinners from K-Mart.

Jenny Gump
02-15-2006, 09:26 PM
This reminds me...I got a new car. Finally. But it isn't a chevelle.

ENDelt260
02-15-2006, 09:28 PM
This reminds me...I got a new car. Finally. But it isn't a chevelle.
In all fairness... the Chevelle wouldn't be new. It's older than me.

PastorMikH
02-15-2006, 09:29 PM
He might have a Chevette for sale, too.

Complete with plastic spinners from K-Mart.



Ah, the chevette, the poor man's Pacer.

Jenny Gump
02-15-2006, 09:29 PM
In all fairness... the Chevelle wouldn't be new. It's older than me.


I didn't think of that. Well, whatever she gets you, I'm sure you won't deserve it. :D

ENDelt260
02-15-2006, 09:30 PM
I didn't think of that. Well, whatever she gets you, I'm sure you won't deserve it. :D
What if she gives me a sock in the face?

keg in kc
02-15-2006, 09:31 PM
Aww, aren't you two kids just so cute.

Bowser
02-15-2006, 09:34 PM
Get him a laurel. And hardy handshake.

Jenny Gump
02-15-2006, 09:35 PM
What if she gives me a sock in the face?

Well, if you're into that sort of thing....

ENDelt260
02-15-2006, 09:35 PM
Well, if you're into that sort of thing....
I'm really not. But, I'm pretty sure I deserve it.

Jenny Gump
02-15-2006, 09:37 PM
I'm really not. But, I'm pretty sure I deserve it.

Oh God...already?

keg in kc
02-15-2006, 09:37 PM
John: Look, if you leave, Gloria is gonna freak out and throw a shit fit and it's going to go into crisis lock down mode here at the house.

Jeremy: I don't give a baker's f*ck! I just had my own sock duct taped into my mouth last night!

John: Woah, what?

Jeremy: Yeah, the, the sock that I wore all day, playing football in, pouring sweat in, was shoved into my mouth and then was duct taped over it.

John: Well, then let's talk about it. I'm a good listener

Jeremy: I'm not going to discuss this. I felt like Jodie Foster in The Accused lastnight.

Jenny Gump
02-15-2006, 09:38 PM
John: Look, if you leave, Gloria is gonna freak out and throw a shit fit and it's going to go into crisis lock down mode here at the house.

Jeremy: I don't give a baker's f*ck! I just had my own sock duct taped into my mouth last night!

John: Woah, what?

Jeremy: Yeah, the, the sock that I wore all day, playing football in, pouring sweat in, was shoved into my mouth and then was duct taped over it.

John: Well, then let's talk about it. I'm a good listener

Jeremy: I'm not going to discuss this. I felt like Jodie Foster in The Accused lastnight.

This is a bad thing?

keg in kc
02-15-2006, 09:39 PM
I don't think there's any good answer I can give to that.

ENDelt260
02-15-2006, 09:41 PM
Oh God...already?
How long have you "known" me?

keg in kc
02-15-2006, 09:42 PM
Damn, I totally missed an opportunity for a premature ejaculation joke there.

Dammit. I'm getting slower as I get older. And I twun't never quick to start with.

ENDelt260
02-15-2006, 09:43 PM
Heh... keg said twunt.

Jenny Gump
02-15-2006, 09:43 PM
How long have you "known" me?

Point taken.

keg in kc
02-15-2006, 09:46 PM
Heh... keg said twunt.Yes. Yes he did.

KCHawg
02-15-2006, 09:56 PM
I saw him handle a tool while I was there. I don't recommend it.

Probably good advice, but why did you see him handling his tool?

QuikSsurfer
02-15-2006, 10:06 PM
Case of beer, couple of tabs of X, and a gram of blow.

i'll match your X and raise you an 8ball

ENDelt260
02-15-2006, 10:06 PM
Probably good advice, but why did you see him handling his tool?
We're very close.

Katipan
02-15-2006, 10:49 PM
This reminds me...I got a new car. Finally. But it isn't a chevelle.

yay for jenny. :clap:

whadja get? whadja get?