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View Full Version : Funny Stuff Show us your most serious injury with MS Paint!


alnorth
02-17-2006, 10:40 PM
We all have those stories of personal trauma or a journey into the inner depths of pain, but sometimes you just cant find someone who cares enough to listen to your tale of woe.

Further, perhaps you also fancy yourself an artist and have mastered that most wonderful of inventions, MS Paint. With many an oval and well-placed spray can feature, you can create a sight to dazzle the eyes.

Sadly, there never was a way to combine the two... untill now.

alnorth
02-17-2006, 10:40 PM
A long time ago right after a big snow, my brothers and I somehow convinced our dad that it would be a cool idea if we tied a toboggan to the back of his truck and took turns riding it while driving the back roads.

Well, on my turn he drove maybe a little too fast, and on a turn the toboggan hit a patch of ice and slid right to the ditch, throwing me off to land head-first on a poorly-placed stone.

Phobia
02-17-2006, 11:34 PM
Once I died.

SNR
02-17-2006, 11:51 PM
Here's a bird's eye view of my most serious injury ever. Maybe not the most painful, but certainly the most unpleasant.

By the way, I will never eat at a Polish restaurant ever again.

ENDelt260
02-17-2006, 11:53 PM
Once I died.
Were you back to fighting terrorists twenty minutes later?

Count Alex's Losses
02-17-2006, 11:54 PM
I've never had a serious injury. The worst thing I ever did was sprain my ankle playing flag football.

Phobia
02-17-2006, 11:56 PM
Were you back to fighting terrorists twenty minutes later?
You've seen my show, haven't you?

alnorth
02-18-2006, 12:10 AM
You've seen my show, haven't you?

What killed ya?

cdcox
02-18-2006, 12:15 AM
Here is a bad nurse removing my catherter when I had my appendix out.

Ari Chi3fs
02-18-2006, 12:37 AM
Funny thread idea... my likey.

Ok, dont drink and drive... well, dont drink and drive, and get pulled over.

Phobia
02-18-2006, 12:45 AM
What killed ya?

Well, Jack got shot in the head with a howitzer. Fortunately, it was a flesh wound. Another agent pushed his brains back in his head and put a bandaid over the wound, then he used CPR. It was an intense moment.

SLAG
02-18-2006, 12:49 AM
I was 11 and i got bit by a chow,

It Clenched its teeth inside my cheek.

Didnt tear my cheek off but did requrire the Emergency room to call in an On call Plastic Surgen to repair the Gaping hole in my cheek from the dogs teeth

Bob Dole
02-18-2006, 12:58 AM
Here is a bad nurse removing my catherter when I had my appendix out.

That's pretty wild, because here's the photo of Bob Dole's procedure:

sedated
02-18-2006, 12:58 AM
heres when the short bus that tuk me to skool flipt over

Count Alex's Losses
02-18-2006, 12:59 AM
Here is a bad nurse removing my catherter when I had my appendix out.

JEBUS!

cdcox
02-18-2006, 01:02 AM
JEBUS!

Actually, I'm pretty sure it was the debil.

banyon
02-18-2006, 01:38 AM
Barfight. He got the worst of it after i kicked him in da face.

greg63
02-18-2006, 01:46 AM
I've never had a serious injury. The worst thing I ever did was sprain my ankle playing flag football.


...Same here, but only I sprained my ankle running down the stairs at the trade school.

alnorth
02-18-2006, 11:12 AM
One time when I was young, we went on a vacation to some stupid place, but we brought my bike along, so I took it for a ride.

I saw a VERY steep hill, one of those inclines where if you were going down in a car your instinctive reaction is to hit the brakes and go down slowly. I could only think of how fast I'd be able to fly down the hill.

LiL stumppy
02-18-2006, 12:09 PM
hahaha this is a good thread.Ill try and make one.

Rain Man
02-18-2006, 12:18 PM
In the big picture, this is me supporting the weight of the world while other people try to kick me in the groin.

Rain Man
02-18-2006, 12:27 PM
On the physical side, this is me looking at a truck that's about to broadside me in roughly 1994. I was a passenger when the driver mistakenly pulled into oncoming traffic.

Cochise
02-18-2006, 12:31 PM
i found out one day that when you're riding your bike, you shouldn't close both your eyes.

i actually knocked the box off, which would be kind of cool if I hadn't done it with my skull

Bwana
02-18-2006, 12:33 PM
I smoked my right wrist down in Flordia at the Tae Kwon Do Black Belt nationals. I threw some tape on it in between rounds and finished 1st, but damn that hurt!

Rain Man
02-18-2006, 12:36 PM
This is me at the age of 17, sitting in my bedroom and realizing that I pretty much have to work alone if I'm ever going to get anywhere in life.

Skip Towne
02-18-2006, 12:39 PM
In the big picture, this is me supporting the weight of the world while other people try to kick me in the groin.
Hahahaha Nice globe.

JBucc
02-18-2006, 12:48 PM
Here's when I stabbed myself trying to cut a watermelon
http://img105.imageshack.us/img105/6008/untitled2of.png

Rain Man
02-18-2006, 12:52 PM
Hahahaha Nice globe.

Did you notice that I added the island part of Equatorial Guinea? People always leave that out when they draw globes.

Rain Man
02-18-2006, 12:53 PM
That watermelon looks good enough to eat.

Bwana
02-18-2006, 12:57 PM
Heh! Another good one was the summer I was a fly fishing guide by Yellowstone park. I had an afternoon off so I took off up in the mountains on a motor bike. The throttle and power band got stuck and I was hauling ass across a boulder field with no way to stop until I chashed. Lots of pain and blood but nothing broken.

blueballs
02-18-2006, 01:10 PM
I just do not have the patience
and it still hurts

stevieray
02-18-2006, 01:25 PM
In the big picture, this is me supporting the weight of the world while other people try to kick me in the groin.


Boy, Global warming sure dried up the Oceans.

CosmicPal
02-18-2006, 01:46 PM
When I was 8 years old, my brother and I were playing golf in the front yard. I had come back with an armful of golf balls and dropped them by my brother when he took a practice swing and hit me next to my left eye thus shattering my skull and left me hospitalized for a few weeks.

jAZ
02-18-2006, 01:47 PM
Vroom, vroom...

stevieray
02-18-2006, 01:48 PM
When I was 8 years old, my brother and I were playing golf in the front yard. I had come back with an armful of golf balls and dropped them by my brother when he took a practice swing and hit me next to my left eye thus shattering my skull and left me hospitalized for a few weeks.

This explains a lot.

CosmicPal
02-18-2006, 01:53 PM
This explains a lot.


nlm

stevieray
02-18-2006, 01:54 PM
nlm

:)

Dunit35
02-18-2006, 02:10 PM
I tried to make a picture but it sucked horribly.
I broke my ankle and tore ligments in it playing bball once. I have horrible arthritis in it now and pops all the time.

Archie F. Swin
02-18-2006, 02:16 PM
This may be the best thread evah!

I'm worried about Big Daddy's no genitalia rule though

Bwana
02-18-2006, 02:26 PM
I tried to make a picture but it sucked horribly.
I broke my ankle and tore ligments in it playing bball once. I have horrible arthritis in it now and pops all the time.

You suck at this game. :p

CosmicPal
02-18-2006, 02:31 PM
This friend of mine, who was a bouncer, was breaking up a fight outside the bar in OPKS one night and I went in to help him. When he heard me running up he turned around and clocked me before I knew anything was happening. Ended up breaking my arm when I hit the pavement.

CosmicPal
02-18-2006, 02:35 PM
Here's when I stabbed myself trying to cut a watermelon
http://img105.imageshack.us/img105/6008/untitled2of.png

Were you really that happy that you cut yourself with a knife? I don't think that was the right face. I don't know about you, but I think most of the human race when they cut themselves aren't smiling at the result of the cut. Unless they were drunk or tripping on acid or something.

Bwana
02-18-2006, 02:41 PM
I tried to make a picture but it sucked horribly.
I broke my ankle and tore ligments in it playing bball once. I have horrible arthritis in it now and pops all the time.

heh! :D

JBucc
02-18-2006, 02:45 PM
Unless they were drunk or tripping on acid or something.probably both

SLAG
02-18-2006, 02:50 PM
mine on pg 1 was the best

Archie F. Swin
02-18-2006, 02:50 PM
I was 4 or 5 years old screwing around on my dad's boat trailer when I fell through it and my chin hit the non skid. It was that kind of hardened tar type non-skid that come to a point every few inches. Ripped my chin open, needed stitches.

JBucc
02-18-2006, 02:58 PM
here's one when I was younger and tripped my brother at WalMart and he hit his head on one of those yellow barrier things
http://img439.imageshack.us/img439/3456/untitled14ub.png

redbrian
02-18-2006, 03:23 PM
Going on three weeks in a cast with one more to go after shredding my right Achilles tendon pushing wife’s car on Friday the 13th (which also had a full moon that day).

alnorth
02-18-2006, 03:26 PM
here's one when I was younger and tripped my brother at WalMart and he hit his head on one of those yellow barrier things
http://img439.imageshack.us/img439/3456/untitled14ub.png

Did Wal-Mart still have that star thing in their name way back then?

JBucc
02-18-2006, 03:27 PM
Did Wal-Mart still have that star thing in their name way back then?That's just bird shit

plbrdude
02-18-2006, 03:54 PM
senior year

OnTheWarpath58
02-18-2006, 04:48 PM
When I was 13, I got a new bike.......

5 minutes later, i'm racing down the street we live on.....steep hill.

The subdivision streets were made with 4 blocks of concrete and the seams were sealed with tar. Over time, the concrete/tar would break down, creating potholes. I didn't see the diamond shaped one that engulfed the front tire of my bike, sending me over the handlebars, almost full flip in air, landing pretty much flat on my back, and sliding another 20 yards or so down the hill.

End result:

Broken collarbone, broken pelvis, and the biggest road rash you've ever seen...covered my entire back. Burnt out the back of my shirt.

Dunit35
02-18-2006, 04:54 PM
heh! :D


Ha..thanks. I'm glad everyone can draw but me.

Bwana
02-18-2006, 04:58 PM
Ha..thanks. I'm glad everyone can draw but me.

No problem, I just didn't want you to feel left out. :D

Dave Lane
02-18-2006, 05:09 PM
I was 11 and i got bit by a chow,

It Clenched its teeth inside my cheek.

Didnt tear my cheek off but did requrire the Emergency room to call in an On call Plastic Surgen to repair the Gaping hole in my cheek from the dogs teeth


It was a pit bull wasn't it!

Dave

banyon
02-18-2006, 05:20 PM
Not my injury, but my friend broke his hand at about 3 AM at the front desk of our residence hall like this...

JBucc
02-18-2006, 05:46 PM
Here's one of me stubbing my toe on the door. My toenail really got crushed, but the flying off looks better.
http://img471.imageshack.us/img471/8682/untitled22vz.png

Demonpenz
02-18-2006, 05:56 PM
stuff

cdcox
02-18-2006, 07:12 PM
Okay, guess what happened here:

ENDelt260
02-18-2006, 07:18 PM
This friend of mine, who was a bouncer, was breaking up a fight outside the bar in OPKS one night and I went in to help him. When he heard me running up he turned around and clocked me before I knew anything was happening. Ended up breaking my arm when I hit the pavement.
I always think it's funny when regulars think they should go help bouncers break up bar fights. I ain't gettin' paid for that shit. I sit on my ass and drink beer.

alnorth
02-18-2006, 07:19 PM
Okay, guess what happened here:

You tried to eat a flaming marshmallow and burned the $#!+ out of yourself?

JBucc
02-18-2006, 07:22 PM
Okay, guess what happened here:very nice fire

Rain Man
02-18-2006, 07:23 PM
Okay, guess what happened here:

You branded your nose on a drunken cowboy dare?

cdcox
02-18-2006, 07:26 PM
You tried to eat a flaming marshmallow and burned the $#!+ out of yourself?

Close. I tried to blow it out, and ended up getting it stuck on my nose, still flaming. This was during my awkward teenage years.

listopencil
02-18-2006, 07:30 PM
You mean an injury I caused or does it have to be one that happened to me/my friend?

cdcox
02-18-2006, 07:30 PM
You branded your nose on a drunken cowboy dare?

My teenage years were not that awkward.

alnorth
02-18-2006, 07:46 PM
You mean an injury I caused or does it have to be one that happened to me/my friend?

If its sufficiently humorous and/or horrifying, it need not even be an injury.

Mr. Laz
02-18-2006, 08:01 PM
http://img71.exs.cx/img71/4167/car0hh.jpg

Rain Man
02-18-2006, 08:12 PM
I'm really kind of surprised that there have been this many injuries with MS Paint.

C-Mac
02-18-2006, 08:22 PM
When I was 18 working at WalMart, a customer brought his car battery in to be tested. I hooked the battery load testing device to the battery in the cart and when I hit the test switch it was just like pushing a detonating plunger. My ears when deaf, face went numb and blood was flowing down my face. Fortunately only one nasty cut right between my eyes from battery debris. Got second degree burns on my eyes from the acid....that part really sucked for a few days.

Rain Man
02-18-2006, 08:23 PM
You're a realist, I'm an impressionist. We're both men of art.

listopencil
02-18-2006, 08:23 PM
My cousin had gotten a model rocket set (with the little cylinders of solid fuel) one Summer. At my urging, he snuck the fuel cylinders over to my house and we broke around four of them apart and spilled the powder into a pile. We stood around trying to flick lit matches into the pile but the matches kept going out because we were too scared to stand very close. Finally I said, "One of us is going to have to hold a lit match to it." My cousin said, "OK" and did it. Instantly a pillar of smoke erupted and I couldn't see him through it. As the smoke cleared I could see him standing there-missing his eyebrows and part of the top of his hair with the rest of his head smoking, his face burned red except for where his hands had come up leaving an unburned "shadow" of his fingers across both cheeks, tears and snot streaming down his face. His first words were, "I feel like such an idiot." and the only thing that stopped my laughing was when I rushed him into our bathroom to flush his eyes out(which were burning and itching pretty badly) in the sink. Ahhh...good times.

KChiefsQT
02-18-2006, 08:32 PM
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b34/KChiefsQT/wakeboarding.jpg

KC Jones
02-18-2006, 08:35 PM
This is my leg currently - I just had surgery yesterday to remove my saphenous vein. I haven't pulled off the dressing yet to have a look but the doctor mentioned there would be a couple dozen incisions. It's painful, but the drugs are good.

Archie F. Swin
02-18-2006, 08:39 PM
so...umm...they had to remove your leg to do the procedure?

stevieray
02-18-2006, 09:00 PM
i thought it was cheese, but if you look at the slo motion still...it was some homeless dude.

(it was the eyebrow that tipped investigators)

stevieray
02-18-2006, 09:01 PM
...

Bowser
02-18-2006, 09:02 PM
ROFL

Rain Man
02-18-2006, 09:05 PM
ROFL

The Flying Elvises.

ChiefsLV
02-18-2006, 09:06 PM
When I was 13 I was riding my bike in the desert. I wasn't paying attention and at the last minute just missed a rock with my front tire. Unfortunately by back tire didn't miss it and it sent me flying. I landed face down on another rock that gouged me right below the left eye. I also broke my right thumb. Face wounds bleed like a mofo.

http://members.cox.net/bellowrb/bigspill/scene1.jpg
http://members.cox.net/bellowrb/bigspill/scene2.jpg
http://members.cox.net/bellowrb/bigspill/scene3.jpg
http://members.cox.net/bellowrb/bigspill/scene4.jpg

alnorth
02-18-2006, 09:10 PM
You hit the rock so hard that one of your blood spurts was hurled into the sun? Ouch, I hope it didnt leave an ugly scar.

cdcox
02-18-2006, 09:30 PM
When I was 13 I was riding my bike in the desert. I wasn't paying attention and at the last minute just missed a rock with my front tire. Unfortunately by back tire didn't miss it and it sent me flying. I landed face down on another rock that gouged me right below the left eye. I also broke my right thumb. Face wounds bleed like a mofo.

http://members.cox.net/bellowrb/bigspill/scene1.jpg
http://members.cox.net/bellowrb/bigspill/scene2.jpg
http://members.cox.net/bellowrb/bigspill/scene3.jpg
http://members.cox.net/bellowrb/bigspill/scene4.jpg

Ah, the dreaded face crayon.

Dartgod
02-18-2006, 10:54 PM
It was 4th grade recess. I was playing on the monkey bars and attempted to jump about halfway across and grab a bar. My hands slipped and I landed upside down directly on my head on the asphalt surface. Knocked me out and I ended up with a skull fracture. At least one person swore that I got smarter as a result. Many more swore I did not.

stumppy
02-19-2006, 03:33 AM
Here's when I hooked a friend of mine in the ear. He was really mad when his new rod and reel went overboard because of the sudden jerking pressure being applied to his right ear.ROFL

Dartgod
02-19-2006, 10:21 AM
Here's another one of mine. Again, when I was in grade school, probably 5th grade, I was playing football with some friends in one's front yard. Well, you know those round water meter lids? I found out that when you hit your knee on the corner of one real hard, it can actually split your skin wide open. Clear from one side of your leg to the other.

Nasty stuff...

CosmicPal
02-19-2006, 12:06 PM
Nasty stuff...

Dat's some pretty good artwork there, DG.

We should take these paintings to the Nelson Art Gallery and have them do a showing.

ChiefButthurt
01-24-2007, 11:48 AM
The best thread of all times....resurrected.

Iowanian
01-24-2007, 12:03 PM
I guess I've got to dig out mspaint now. I can contribute here.

Iowanian
01-24-2007, 12:24 PM
Summer after 8th grade.
In this issue, our hero is riding his brother's bike home at night, in the country because his little brother is too tired after a late little league game....Our hero "grabs hold" of a passing minivan to hitch a ride up a big hill....at the top, our hero's bike slides under the back tire of the minivan and it drives over his leg just above and on the ankle.

crazycoffey
01-24-2007, 12:36 PM
This is the funniest thing on this planet, I just picked myself off the floor. I hit my head when I fell, but it wasn't bad enough to get the paint out.

I may have to work on something though. funny stuff

HonestChieffan
01-24-2007, 12:45 PM
Word Picture....


Table saw...nice Delta UniSaw...Really sharp Carbide blade...

Piece of really nice black walnut...to big


Making Big Walnut piece smaller


Index finger on left hand.....

Smaller now too!!

Iowanian
01-24-2007, 01:58 PM
The Great Cow Wreck of Iowania via 1991

Story of summer before college....After pulling a calf, cow goes berzerker, stomps new calf, tackles Momowanian, kicks in her head, breaks her leg badly, i grab cow by head, which rams me into barn, does 30 second mosh pit on my stomoch, chest, head and back.

Baby Lee
01-24-2007, 02:14 PM
Guy in the neighborhood got ahold of my bike before I tried out my rad new ramp on the asphalt road in front of my house. Loosened my front wheel from my forks. First jump, front wheel went 'whee!!!,' fork dug into the asphalt, and my chin proved less than an irresistible force.

Dartgod
01-24-2007, 02:15 PM
The Great Cow Wreck of Iowania via 1991

Story of summer before college....After pulling a calf, cow goes berzerker, stomps new calf, tackles Momowanian, kicks in her head, breaks her leg badly, i grab cow by head, which rams me into barn, does 30 second mosh pit on my stomoch, chest, head and back.
That's one evil looking cow. Serves you right for even going near it.

Buck
01-24-2007, 02:16 PM
http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f138/mattdayjr/brokenwrist.jpg
Basically, I fell out of a shopping cart at the Commissary at the Naval Base here in San Diego when I was about 4 years old.

Rooster
01-24-2007, 02:17 PM
The Great Cow Wreck of Iowania via 1991

Story of summer before college....After pulling a calf, cow goes berzerker, stomps new calf, tackles Momowanian, kicks in her head, breaks her leg badly, i grab cow by head, which rams me into barn, does 30 second mosh pit on my stomoch, chest, head and back.

That is one angry looking cow Iowanian.

Iowanian
01-24-2007, 02:19 PM
1st day after college was out..1996, friday night...driving with my good friend to meet some of his new, impending family before his wedding. Van turns in front of us...WHAM! No seatbelts.

Neither of us are pretty for wedding photos in a couple of weeks.

Iowanian
01-24-2007, 02:33 PM
As I grabbed my bag of gear to leave the house before my first bull ride in 1992 or 1993, my dad said "well, don't bust your ass".

I rode strong.....for 6 seconds or so, then this way and that way, arse over tea kettle, the thud of the ground, the sound of breath smashed from lungs, and hard whack and burning sensation in the arse area......

Jump up, escape danger....feel sweaty in a "I'm passing out" kinda way...feel cold breeze, hear and feel blood dripping on boots and ground. I reach down, Wedding tackle, in tact! whew...Reach back....pants ripped from belt loop to crotch seem.....Blood everywhere....this can't be good.

Ass gashed. Should have listened closer to dad's instructions.

Feign no pain...Fake smile.....Walk past cowboys and ladies watching.....Turn out 2nd bull, time to go home, hide wounds out of embarrassment.....LONG, LONG drive back to college....Longer walk to class next day, rumors abound as I hide my shameful injury....Finally whisper to friend....truth less embarrassing than assumptions...he shouts it out......Eruption of laughter in classroom, lasts longer than walk across campus.

I live with my shame, and a scar few people will ever see. Go ahead...have a laugh at my tramatic event.

Redrum_69
01-24-2007, 02:41 PM
As I grabbed my bag of gear to leave the house before my first bull ride in 1992 or 1993, my dad said "well, don't bust your ass".

I rode strong.....for 6 seconds or so, then this way and that way, arse over tea kettle, the thud of the ground, the sound of breath smashed from lungs, and hard whack and burning sensation in the arse area......

Jump up, escape danger....feel sweaty in a "I'm passing out" kinda way...feel cold breeze, hear and feel blood dripping on boots and ground. I reach down, Wedding tackle, in tact! whew...Reach back....pants ripped from belt loop to crotch seem.....Blood everywhere....this can't be good.

Ass gashed. Should have listened closer to dad's instructions.

Feign no pain...Fake smile.....Walk past cowboys and ladies watching.....Turn out 2nd bull, time to go home, hide wounds out of embarrassment.....LONG, LONG drive back to college....Longer walk to class next day, rumors abound as I hide my shameful injury....Finally whisper to friend....truth less embarrassing than assumptions...he shouts it out......Eruption of laughter in classroom, lasts longer than walk across campus.

I live with my shame, and a scar few people will ever see. Go ahead...have a laugh at my tramatic event.



You just turned on Gochiefs....his palms are sweating as we speak

Chieficus
01-24-2007, 03:03 PM
This is from back in 2000. Was playing a game of ultimate frisbee on the practice field of OU's football team... It was about a month after I had my wisdom teeth surgically taken out. I went diving for a frisbee and another guy's knee (from my own team--he was going for the frisbee too) hit me square in the jaw.

It knocked me out for a minute, snapped my jaw clean on both sides, and produced a nice steady flow of blood from my mouth.

Needless to say I still play ultimate, I just don't do much diving anymore...

DMAC
01-24-2007, 03:08 PM
Very drunk...college years...friend bet me I couldn't hold on to the wires for more than 5 seconds...Problem was....I couldn't let go!

Rooster
01-24-2007, 03:17 PM
Very drunk...college years...friend bet me I couldn't hold on to the wires for more than 5 seconds...Problem was....I couldn't let go!

ROFL ROFL You have a gift with this paint program. Well done.

DMAC
01-24-2007, 03:35 PM
ROFL ROFL You have a gift with this paint program. Well done.Thanks. I am a loser.

Archie F. Swin
01-24-2007, 04:10 PM
The Great Cow Wreck of Iowania via 1991

Story of summer before college....After pulling a calf, cow goes berzerker, stomps new calf, tackles Momowanian, kicks in her head, breaks her leg badly, i grab cow by head, which rams me into barn, does 30 second mosh pit on my stomoch, chest, head and back.

Damn!!

When good cows go bad!
How long was momowanian's recovery?

boogblaster
01-24-2007, 06:59 PM
Iowaggie ride mama-bull... papa-bull come from behind, gash bunger..lie about ridie bull..truth out...

Iowanian
01-24-2007, 07:43 PM
I think momowanian spent 2 weeks in leg traction...close to it anyway. Her foot was pointing the wrong direction, from about 4" above her knee. She had a couple of surgeries on that. I don't know how many stitches in her forehead. I know I thought she was dead when I went in.

I learned alot that day.....she never made a peep during any of her Bovine-beating. When I stopped getting kicked and stomped, I had no wind of course....mama's only concern was if I was alright. Thats a good mama friends. Dad was in the middle of it but didn't get whooped.

I've told the whole story here before, but didn't figure a picture thread was the place.

Whatta day that was.

Fairplay
01-24-2007, 08:54 PM
My parents moved into a neighborhood when i was about 12.
Soon afterword i was told of the bully up the block. I wanted to show how tough i was. So me and some other kids went to his house.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v30/fairplay/Thebullyone.jpg
He was outside and i told him i could beat him up. Words word exchanged and soon after so were the fists...........
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v30/fairplay/Thebully2.jpg
The fight was on kids gathered around, it was the big showdown....
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v30/fairplay/Thebully3.jpg
Holy mother of god! I got my a** handed to me on a platter. Next thing i knew i was on the ground with his shoes kicking me. Stop ! Stop!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v30/fairplay/TheBully4.jpg

Moral of the story: Don't get in stupid fights because you might get the f**k beat out of you.

stevieray
01-24-2007, 08:58 PM
My parents moved into a neighborhood when i was about 12.
Soon afterword i was told of the bully up the block. I wanted to show how tough i was. So me and some other kids went to his house.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v30/fairplay/Thebullyone.jpg
He was outside and i told him i could beat him up. Words word exchanged and soon after so were the fists...........
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v30/fairplay/Thebully2.jpg
The fight was on kids gathered around, it was the big showdown....
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v30/fairplay/Thebully3.jpg
Holy mother of god! I got my a** handed to me on a platter. Next thing i knew i was on the ground with his shoes kicking me. Stop ! Stop!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v30/fairplay/TheBully4.jpg

Moral of the story: Don't get in stupid fights because you might get the f**k beat out of you.


ya, but I got grounded for two weeks for doing that.

Fairplay
01-24-2007, 09:01 PM
Actually the guys first name was Steve.

TinyEvel
01-24-2007, 09:58 PM
I was in a bike race in rural San louis Obispo.
We were at teh bottom of a long descent, going about 35-40 MPH. The guy next to me decided to attack by going between the two guys in front of us. He locked bars with one of the guys and they went down immediately. I ran over them, catapulting me forward off my bike and over them, up-side down. I landed on my back in the gravelly shoulder of the road and skipped along like that a few times then did a roll, my legs rolling over and actually ending up in a crouch position.

I ran to my bike to get back on it. After noticing both rims taco'd, I saw blood dripping from my shredded forearm and knee. I sat down on the edge of the road.
I could hear someone moaning from a drainage ditch along the side of the road, too. And another guy was writhing in the road. Looked like someone dotted him with a red spraycan on every protruding piece of his body (shoulder, elbow, wrist, knuckle, etc)
WE got a ride to the hospital in an ambulance. THey were already full from previous crashes, so they put me on a gurney in the hall. I was lying there on my bca kfor a while. Then a nurse came over to wash my wounds. She washed my arm and knee, we pulled down the side of my shorts and it looked like someone had taken a scooper and scooped out about a 2-inch diameter, 1/4 inch deep section of my skin on my hip (Gravel bites!). She said "anywhere else?"

I said that my back hurt, may be scraped up.

I sat up and she said "Oh my god."

There was a blood stain on the gurney sheet the whole size of my back.

My whole back was scraped off, like one big scab. My jersey shredded (I still have it)

The worse part was two days later I had rolled over onto my back while sleeping. I woke up and the sheet was stuck to my back. I had to pull the bottom sheet off the bed and get into the shower with it, wet it down until I was able to peel it off.

Also, a couple days later it was a whole big scab, I sneezed and the whole thing cracked like a dry lake bed.
That hurt!

trndobrd
01-24-2007, 10:56 PM
ouch

Archie F. Swin
01-25-2007, 12:05 AM
ouch

'NAM?

listopencil
01-25-2007, 12:28 AM
When I was about seven years old I was playing hide and go seek in the back yard with my siblings. I ended up hiding in the garage, inside of a wardrobe with one of my older sisters. Apparently I had to go to the bathroom and she was pissed because it as a great spot and me running out of the garage would give her away. She decided to hurry me out by shoving me through the door. I fell on an upturned lawnmower. The blade almost cut my right arm in half right at the elbow joint. I ran screaming into the house gushing blood. I was whisked off to the local military hospital where they sowed me back together from the inside out. I still have an ugly scar.

AZORChiefFan
01-25-2007, 12:34 AM
I was 11 and i got bit by a chow,

It Clenched its teeth inside my cheek.

Didnt tear my cheek off but did requrire the Emergency room to call in an On call Plastic Surgen to repair the Gaping hole in my cheek from the dogs teeth

I had nearly the same thing happen to me. I was 2 or 3 and my grandfathers German Shepard bit me in the face. I too had an emergency room visit with some plastic surgery.

Or maybe we both have the same memories and aliens or the gov't planted them into our heads.

listopencil
01-25-2007, 12:37 AM
I had nearly the same thing happen to me. I was 2 or 3 and my grandfathers German Shepard bit me in the face. I too had an emergency room visit with some plastic surgery.

Or maybe we both have the same memories and aliens or the gov't planted them into our heads.



You think that's weird? I was the Chow...and the German Shepherd.

Baconeater
01-25-2007, 12:42 AM
When I was about seven years old I was playing hide and go seek in the back yard with my siblings. I ended up hiding in the garage, inside of a wardrobe with one of my older sisters. Apparently I had to go to the bathroom and she was pissed because it as a great spot and me running out of the garage would give her away. She decided to hurry me out by shoving me through the door. I fell on an upturned lawnmower. The blade almost cut my right arm in half right at the elbow joint. I ran screaming into the house gushing blood. I was whisked off to the local military hospital where they sowed me back together from the inside out. I still have an ugly scar.
Your sister looks hot. Got any more pics of her?

listopencil
01-25-2007, 12:45 AM
Your sister looks hot. Got any more pics of her?




We don't talk now. I could fake some up that would piss her off if she saw them, though.

trndobrd
01-25-2007, 07:53 AM
'NAM?

Ft. Riley, 3am. Right foot went down in a hole hidden in some high vegetation, the rest of me kept going forward.

PinkFloyd
01-25-2007, 08:22 AM
Well; my injuries and scars would take up about 15 pages on here; so here's a description of all my injuries...

1. Scar above right eye from the result of a 30-.06 rifle scope getting to close to my eye...
2. Scar on my right arm when a nail caught it from a falling wall be torn down...
3. Scar on the corner of my bottom lip from when I was a kid... One of my brothers threw a dried up corn stalk and it stuck there like an arrow...
4. Scar on my right knee... It runs from one side of my leg to the other... When I was 14 playing baseball, they didn't drive the stake down in the ground all the way that the base clips on too... Slid right across it and it tore it open so wide, you could see the knee cap...
5. Two more scars on my right knee from knee surgery from playing baseball...
6. One scar on my left knee from surgery due to playing baseball...
7. Five scars on my right shoulder from having rotator cuff surgeries, due to playing baseball and softball...
8. No scar, but tore the ligaments in my right foot and ankle... That was just a stupid injury from not having my shoes tied... That was before a baseball game...

I think that's all that I can remember... I started playing baseball at 5 years old, and to this day, I still play slowpitch and fastpitch softball... I might have played only 10 games a year as a kid, but once I got about 16, the games went up to almost 165 a year... Played on alot of traveling teams, and even played alittle winter ball in Florida...

Oh; I bowled about 750 games last year, and I'll probably hit 1,000 this year since we're going to alot more tournaments thru the year...

I'm 41, but my body feels 55...

ZepSinger
01-25-2007, 08:33 AM
Back when I first started playing in a band, we hauled the equipment in a snowmobile trailer, pulled by my Datsun pickup. I pulled in late one night, backed into the side yard with the trailer, and then proceeded to lift off the trailer ball. When I did, the trailer rolled forward, and the hitch smashed thru the license plate of the truck, taking my hand with it. I went into the emergency room and got 7 stitches in my left index finger.

That sure sucked for the next 2 gigs later that same week...

Z

Extra Point
01-25-2007, 08:55 AM
Actually the guys first name was Steve.

Yeah, but before the fight, his name was A$$hole.

Excellent artwork!

Fairplay
01-25-2007, 08:16 PM
This happened this morning!!!

I wake up, get my marching orders of the day, i know its Thursday. Its trash day. Gotta round up the trash and get it out on the curb. Im not a morning person, i feel half asleep. So what if i've missed trash day twice in the last three months. Women remember that stuff though.



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v30/fairplay/razor_1.jpg
So i throw my hand in the trash to throw it in the baggy. I usually dump it into the baggy, but i didn't think there was much in there. I felt something wierd my mind half-asleep when suddenly..........
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v30/fairplay/razor_2.jpg
After i pulled out my finger i realized what i did. And yelled. I bleed for a long time, even with a band-aid on. My mouse at work had red stains on it. Im a careful person as a rule, i guess i was due for punishment.

Below is a close up of the damage.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v30/fairplay/razor_3.jpg

crazycoffey
01-26-2007, 10:11 AM
I went to Texas yesterday (I told the story in the notables noticed thread) But while there I had to show my brother and step - dad this thread, it was still funny for me.

Anyway, my brother reminded me of this story and thought it would be a good addition, it's not my injury, but since I'm not the first to post someone else's injury, and considering I caused the injury, perhaps it will be accepted.

wutamess
01-26-2007, 11:02 AM
When I was young (11 12ish) I was painting my uncles house on a 30 foot ladder. The 2 legs of the ladder slipped out and only thing that saved my leg from breaking was the porch rails that caught the ladder. Still have the scar to this day to prove that it did some damage. I haven't painted on ladders since.

Monty
01-26-2007, 12:34 PM
This isn't really an injury, but I became dehydrated last summer while getting the Command Center ready, so this is how I fixed the problem.

http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a211/txchief/CCCRefresh.jpg

Chiefs_Fan
01-26-2007, 01:07 PM
Broke my fingure drawing with mspaint:

Chiefs_Fan
01-26-2007, 01:18 PM
Most of these injurys have nothing to do with MSPaint!

crazycoffey
01-26-2007, 02:01 PM
Most of these injurys have nothing to do with MSPaint!

I like your broken finger on the mouse, mildly amusing.

but as far as this comment I will direct you to what the creator of the thread stated from the begining....


...We all have those stories of personal trauma or a journey into the inner depths of pain, but sometimes you just cant find someone who cares enough to listen to your tale of woe.

Further, perhaps you also fancy yourself an artist and have mastered that most wonderful of inventions, MS Paint. With many an oval and well-placed spray can feature, you can create a sight to dazzle the eyes.

Sadly, there never was a way to combine the two... untill now.

'Hamas' Jenkins
01-26-2007, 02:03 PM
Driving in December of '99. Come over the top of a hill where two cars are stopped. I put on the brakes, but hit a patch of black ice, spin sideways, and go driver's side door into the back of a Chevy Nova.

"Money for Nothing" was playing on the Radio...

crazycoffey
01-26-2007, 03:36 PM
I hope I kept this simple enough, so I don't get yelled at, or banned.




I have been contemplating even admitting this, and even more, how to draw it without getting banned.



I ended up with this;





One night my wife and I lay in bed (in the biblical way) and she was on top.......

......It was my injury and it is a horror story that we've all heard......











I broke my member, well, you know.........







Yes it hurt, and took about three months to feel "normal" (I use that term loosely) again.







My picture of this injury?????






Here........



you........



go........

Buck
01-26-2007, 03:40 PM
I hope I kept this simple enough, so I don't get yelled at, or banned.




I have been contemplating even admitting this, and even more, how to draw it without getting banned.



I ended up with this;





One night my wife and I lay in bed (in the biblical way) and she was on top.......

......It was my injury and it is a horror story that we've all heard......











I broke my member, well, you know.........







Yes it hurt, and took about three months to feel "normal" (I use that term loosely) again.







My picture of this injury?????






Here........



you........



go........

CRINGE

Gonzo
01-26-2007, 03:47 PM
I hope I kept this simple enough, so I don't get yelled at, or banned.




I have been contemplating even admitting this, and even more, how to draw it without getting banned.



I ended up with this;





One night my wife and I lay in bed (in the biblical way) and she was on top.......

......It was my injury and it is a horror story that we've all heard......











I broke my member, well, you know.........







Yes it hurt, and took about three months to feel "normal" (I use that term loosely) again.







My picture of this injury?????






Here........



you........



go........

Could'nt have hurt ya too much.

Dicky McElephant
01-26-2007, 03:53 PM
I hope I kept this simple enough, so I don't get yelled at, or banned.




I have been contemplating even admitting this, and even more, how to draw it without getting banned.



I ended up with this;





One night my wife and I lay in bed (in the biblical way) and she was on top.......

......It was my injury and it is a horror story that we've all heard......











I broke my member, well, you know.........







Yes it hurt, and took about three months to feel "normal" (I use that term loosely) again.







My picture of this injury?????






Here........



you........



go........


Your wife has a nice ass......

Baby Lee
01-26-2007, 03:55 PM
Here........



you........



go........
http://www.tatteredcoat.com/images/heat-pacino-great-ass.jpg
GREAT ASS!!!!

munkey
01-26-2007, 04:51 PM
Though it didn't really hurt it was extremely uncomfortable...

Baby Lee
01-26-2007, 05:12 PM
Though it didn't really hurt it was extremely uncomfortable...
OMEverFingG!!! Instant classic.

The existential grimace of the probee
The resigned slouch over the exam table
The shit eating grin of the doc
That he's wearing one of those bald baby bows
That he appears to be in full gallop
That he's using the bulbous, outsized peni . . . hand instead of that slender reed at the end of his other arm.

Sublime in every detail.

crazycoffey
01-30-2007, 04:50 AM
OMEverFingG!!! Instant classic.

The existential grimace of the probee
The resigned slouch over the exam table
The shit eating grin of the doc
That he's wearing one of those bald baby bows
That he appears to be in full gallop
That he's using the bulbous, outsized peni . . . hand instead of that slender reed at the end of his other arm.

Sublime in every detail.


that reminds me, I'm reaching that age to be getting my "Pros" checked, not looking forward to it.

crazycoffey
02-14-2007, 01:49 AM
Ever have one of those days where things just don't go your way??? I had one of them when I was in High school.. I was rushing to get to school and I slipped on the stairs......

cdcox
04-04-2008, 12:59 PM
Here is a bad nurse removing my catherter when I had my appendix out.



Bump in order to depict what Roy75 can look forward to on Monday, except without the nurse.

Count Alex's Losses
04-04-2008, 01:23 PM
Damn, Roy has a huge hog.

OK. Been waiting to do mine...

http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/4418/injury2in1.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

stlchiefs
04-04-2008, 01:35 PM
Bump in order to depict what Roy75 can look forward to on Monday, except without the nurse.

Why is she pulling a catheter out of your knee?

KCChiefsMan
04-04-2008, 05:13 PM
about 7 or 8 yrs old, thought it would be a good idea to rope down the deck.

crazycoffey
04-04-2008, 05:19 PM
classic thread

bowener
04-04-2008, 05:28 PM
:shake: The dangerous game of shower sex.

Its all fun and games until somebody breaks a dick.

edit: My red lightning signifies the painful areas.

Bwana
04-04-2008, 05:42 PM
:shake: The dangerous game of shower sex.

Its all fun and games until somebody breaks a dick.

edit: My red lightning signifies the painful areas.

Dude are you fricken serious? :doh!:

Dartgod
04-04-2008, 05:49 PM
Why is this thread not in the Hall of Classics?

bowener
04-04-2008, 05:53 PM
I guess donkey hates GOATSE more than we do.

bowener
04-04-2008, 06:02 PM
Dude are you fricken serious? :doh!:

I thought my world had ended...
but a few minutes of my woman
rubbing my sore dick,
a short prayer said and an amen
really did the trick.
Got me a Handjob; not to mention
a lollipop lick.

In all seriousness, I came damn close to having 3 elbows, but just lucked out and got some massive pain instead.

Iowanian
04-04-2008, 06:16 PM
in planet fashion, I'm considering a paintbrush photo of a potential pooping injury I'm fearing right now.

crazycoffey
04-04-2008, 06:17 PM
:shake: The dangerous game of shower sex.

Its all fun and games until somebody breaks a dick.

edit: My red lightning signifies the painful areas.


R3post - see post 130.....
beat you by MONTHS!


well, not the shower. Actually yours looks more painful, bro....

KCChiefsMan
04-04-2008, 06:24 PM
I have no talent with MS Paint. But don't fall asleep on the beach, especially if you drank too much the night before.

bowener
04-04-2008, 06:28 PM
R3post - see post 130.....
beat you by MONTHS!


well, not the shower. Actually yours looks more painful, bro....

:clap: congratulations??

I am not sure if we should be excited about having each experienced 'the terror', though I think you got it worse. Maybe I am just young enough that it didnt 'break', just bent at a horrible horrible painful angle.

As for the shower:
Yeah, it may seem like a great idea to hold a girl in the air with her knees over your elbows and her back riding the shower wall, but I promise you this, once your foot slips, there is no recovering from it... the action has taken place and the reaction will carry itself through to the painful end. Thankfully she was a great sport about it.

crazycoffey
04-04-2008, 06:51 PM
Thankfully she was a great sport about it.


That's the best part of the story, young man....
she's a keeper.

Frankie
04-04-2008, 08:38 PM
Wow! Lots of head injuries...!

Kinda explains this board. :hmmm:

ChiefButthurt
05-18-2010, 11:12 AM
We have too many new threads on the main page talking about recent illnesses / injuries......talk is bullshit....start drawing. :p

Mr. Laz
08-31-2011, 09:38 PM
oh yeeeeeeeeeeeeeea

Frankie
08-31-2011, 09:58 PM
WTF Laz?!

LMAO

ChiefsNow
09-01-2011, 03:25 AM
Humor at my expense.

tooge
09-01-2011, 08:34 AM
run over by car

lcarus
09-01-2011, 10:58 AM
Whatever happened to that thread that had people sloppily (usually) drawing what the poster above them states. That was a hilarious thread. It should be brought back.

PS - this thread is pretty good too