View Full Version : Pretty Funny joke...

Dave Lane
03-14-2006, 04:21 PM
Not sure that this is for DC but pretty funny for both sides of the aisle


A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude
and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you
help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know
where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air
balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above
sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100
degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Democrat." "I am,"
replied the man. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist,
"everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to
do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much
help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican." "I am,"
replied the balloonist. "How did you know?" "Well," said the man, "you don't
know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due
to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how
to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same
position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault."

03-14-2006, 04:22 PM
Yep. Everything is the Democrat's fault.

03-14-2006, 04:23 PM

03-14-2006, 04:24 PM
and to the D.C. forum we go...

Radar Chief
03-14-2006, 04:25 PM
:LOL: That's a good one. ROFL

03-14-2006, 04:27 PM
heh. Every time I get that by email, someone has reversed the party names again

03-14-2006, 04:34 PM
heh. Every time I get that by email, someone has reversed the party names again

Yep. I even got it with 'raider fan' and 'Chiefs fan'.

03-14-2006, 06:10 PM
The first time I heard it the guy in the boat was an engineer and the guy in the balloon was in marketing. Translated to politics it doesn't make any sense.

siberian khatru
03-14-2006, 06:34 PM
Yep. I even got it with 'raider fan' and 'Chiefs fan'.

I got it with "George Carlin" and "Ted Nugent."

03-14-2006, 06:37 PM
Terrell Owens and Keyshawn Johnson were sitting at a bar, when they noticed that a young girl across the room was choking on some deep fried cheese.

As she was gagging, Terrell said, "She's in trouble, Keyshawn. We need to help her."

He ran over to the girl in two quick strides, held both sides of her head in his big, strong, pass-catching hands, and asked her, "Can you swallow?" Gasping, she shook her head no. Then he asked, "Can you breathe?" Panicking now, she again wildly shook her head no.

With that, he yanked up her skirt, pulled down her panties, and licked her square on the butt. The girl was so shocked that she coughed up the cheese and began to breathe again.

Terrell sat back down with Keyshawn and said, "You know, Keyshawn, that hind-lick maneuver really works!"


Skip Towne
03-14-2006, 06:38 PM
So where is the funny joke? :shrug:

03-14-2006, 06:47 PM
Terrell Owens and Keyshawn Johnson drove into a lumberyard. Terrell got out of the car, walked into the office, and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

The lumberyard owner said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" Terrell paused for a moment then he said, "I'll go check," and went back to the car.

He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours." "Alright. How long do you need them?" Terrell paused again and said, "Uh... I'd better go check."

After a few minutes, Terrell returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house.