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View Full Version : Ides of March: The Real Story


Bob Dole
03-15-2006, 08:12 AM
It's that time of year again.

Thanks to mistranslation and that hack author, William Shakespeare, "Beware the Ides of March!" has become one of history's most miquoted lines.

Julius Caeser picked up a travelling coconcubine, Greta (pronounced Debbie), after completing his conquest of Gaul in 51BC. Greta accompanied him on his conquests of Brundisium and on to his landing in Alexandria in 48BC. At that point, Greta became jealous of Caeser's trysts with Cleopatra and became quite irritated by Caeser's repeated command, "Get in the kitchen and bake me a pie, bitch!" Evidence of her companionship and role in Caeser's life is evidenced by Caeser's other mistranslated quote after conquering Pontus in 47BC, when he uttered, "Veni, vidi, vici" or "I came, I saw, I ate pie."

As Caeser swept through Asia Minor to settle the disturbances there on his return trip to Rome, Greta became increasingly irritated. Caeser, never much in touch with the feelings of those around him, was oblivious to the developing problem. After Caeser's return to Rome. a local soothsayer named Tom Condon (pronounced Dick) caught the attention of Caeser at an after-work mixer, and passed along the warning, "Beware the pies of March." Caeser dismissed the warning as the ramblings of a lunatic and had Condon put to death.

Emboldened, the victorious and now unchallenged Caeser celebrated his four splendid triumphs (over the Gauls, Egyptians, Pharnaces and Juba) by demanding an ever-increasing quantity of Greta's delicious pie. Finally, Greta cracked under the years of pressure and in cooperation with some 60 conspirators, led by Marcus Junius Brutus, she served Caeser a fig pie laced with poison on March 15 of 44BC.

StcChief
03-15-2006, 08:50 AM
Taking Liberty with history. :) ROFL

Mr. Kotter
03-15-2006, 09:09 AM
And THAT'S the rest of the story.....

Heh. ROFL

Rain Man
03-15-2006, 09:39 AM
Another minor tidbit. As Caesar lay dying, Brutus came to his side, and said, "Did you eat a piece of poison pie, Caesar?"

With one of his last breaths, Caesar gasped out, "I et tu, Brutus."

cdcox
03-15-2006, 09:49 AM
Caesar was evidently a combat veteran.

chagrin
03-15-2006, 10:02 AM
Another minor tidbit. As Caesar lay dying, Brutus came to his side, and said, "Did you eat a piece of poison pie, Caesar?"

With one of his last breaths, Caesar gasped out, "I et tu, Brutus."


ROFL
Beautiful

:clap:

ChiefsFanatic
03-15-2006, 10:35 AM
Another minor tidbit. As Caesar lay dying, Brutus came to his side, and said, "Did you eat a piece of poison pie, Caesar?"

With one of his last breaths, Caesar gasped out, "I et tu, Brutus."

Rep.
ROFL