Cochise
03-16-2006, 08:18 AM
Worst movie ever.
(I haven't done a planet movie review before here so bear with me)
Well, not EVER, but the worst I have seen in a long time. Maybe gorehounds can get off on this kind of thing, but for the more well-adjusted among us, it really has no redeeming qualities.
It's almost amusing in some ways, like a spaghetti western. All the horror staples are here. The most deserted gas station in the world, the creepy degenerate running the shop, disfigured nuclear mutants that feed on human flesh. The horror-cliche stereotypical nuclear family is there too, complete with gruff gun-toting conservative dad, saintly matriarch, pregnant young woman, wuss who doesn't like guns, innocent baby, and eye-candy daughter. (don't get excited, there's no skin. I mean, if a horror movie is going to be horrible, they could at least throw you a bone, right?)
If you don't want spoilers (smarter would be to not see the movie at all), stop reading this post now.
Some lowlights of the film include numerous skull splittings with pickaxes, a mutant-on-girl rape scene, a mutant nursing from a new mother before killing her execution style, a guy being locked into a freezer full of disembodied limbs, and a few unmerciful renderings of a shotgun headshot suicide, someone's fingers being hacked off with an axe, images of a gutted family pet, and a zombie biting the head off a parakeet and squeezing its blood down his throat like it were a can of easy cheese. Of course these all are accompanied by various other 'filler' violence.
All in all, it's bad, even for a horror movie, and suffers from the usual predictability and stupid behavior by the characters. It might be the most violent film I have seen, but it's not frightening - rather, it alternates between wanton, unintentionally funny, boring, and grueling.
On a scale of * to *****, this movie gets 0 stars and owes me two.
Just thought I should warn everyone. If you're into gore then sawing your own limbs off with a hacksaw is just as realistic and probably more entertaining.
(I haven't done a planet movie review before here so bear with me)
Well, not EVER, but the worst I have seen in a long time. Maybe gorehounds can get off on this kind of thing, but for the more well-adjusted among us, it really has no redeeming qualities.
It's almost amusing in some ways, like a spaghetti western. All the horror staples are here. The most deserted gas station in the world, the creepy degenerate running the shop, disfigured nuclear mutants that feed on human flesh. The horror-cliche stereotypical nuclear family is there too, complete with gruff gun-toting conservative dad, saintly matriarch, pregnant young woman, wuss who doesn't like guns, innocent baby, and eye-candy daughter. (don't get excited, there's no skin. I mean, if a horror movie is going to be horrible, they could at least throw you a bone, right?)
If you don't want spoilers (smarter would be to not see the movie at all), stop reading this post now.
Some lowlights of the film include numerous skull splittings with pickaxes, a mutant-on-girl rape scene, a mutant nursing from a new mother before killing her execution style, a guy being locked into a freezer full of disembodied limbs, and a few unmerciful renderings of a shotgun headshot suicide, someone's fingers being hacked off with an axe, images of a gutted family pet, and a zombie biting the head off a parakeet and squeezing its blood down his throat like it were a can of easy cheese. Of course these all are accompanied by various other 'filler' violence.
All in all, it's bad, even for a horror movie, and suffers from the usual predictability and stupid behavior by the characters. It might be the most violent film I have seen, but it's not frightening - rather, it alternates between wanton, unintentionally funny, boring, and grueling.
On a scale of * to *****, this movie gets 0 stars and owes me two.
Just thought I should warn everyone. If you're into gore then sawing your own limbs off with a hacksaw is just as realistic and probably more entertaining.