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Gaz
03-16-2006, 09:35 AM
Matrix-esque action sequences? Check.
Guns? Check.
Swords? Check.
Fists of fury? Check.
Mila Jovovich in skin-tight outfits? Check.
Plot? Um…

It would be overzealous hyperbole to call "Ultraviolet" the stupidest movie ever, but it is certainly a contender.

But hey, anyone going to see "Ultraviolet" knows it is not a highbrow film, with important social commentary or great acting. This is a comic book on the screen.

"Ultraviolet" is about one thing and one thing only:

Kicking butt.

The action scenes are quite good. Frenetic, well-choreographed, stylized and brutal, with a big old heapin' helpin' of the "bullet time" effect from "The Matrix." Violet plows through hordes of goons, punching, slashing, kicking, shooting and running them over with cars. At one point, she simply dances around in the center of a group of Asian thugs and taunts them into shooting each other. Did I mention that this is a stupid movie? Mooks drop by the dozens [or the hundreds in the final climactic battle]. There is a fight with flaming swords in a dark room that is fun to watch. And Violet always finds time to strike a pose for a moment before the next punch-up, giving you time to admire Mila Jovovich her latest costume.

Unfortunately, the filmmakers kept interrupting the fights with those pesky dialogue scenes. These are almost painful to watch. The dialogue is stilted and the delivery is usually WAY over the top.

Do you know what you get when you suck all the philosophical subtext and dialogue out of "The Matrix?" Well, sure, you get "Matrix Unloaded," but you can also get "Ultraviolet."

If you insist on a plot or meaningful dialogue. If you demand characters with more depth than a tissue. If you want some steak with your sizzle, then by all means pass on "Ultraviolet."

On the other hand, if you are the type who enjoyed "The Transporter" or "XXX" then give "Ultraviolet" a shot. You will have some fun and will not be burdened by any deep social issues or commentary.

I give this one 3 Hoots. The talky bits are just embarrassing, but the fight scenes are Hootable to the max.

Just make sure to leave your brain at home.

You won't need it.

xoxo~
Gaz
Having his brain reinstalled.

Otter
03-16-2006, 11:15 AM
Think I'll be waiting till the DVD release on this one. Thanks Gaz.

Gonzo
03-16-2006, 11:42 AM
I'll be waiting for it's Cable release.

FAX
03-16-2006, 12:22 PM
I'm going to watch in on the big screen.

Mila is no Salma, but she'll do in a pinch.

FAX

Logical
03-16-2006, 12:27 PM
My only comment is that I don't enjoy the company you put XXX with. I guess I thought more of it than you did Gaz.

Gaz
03-16-2006, 12:56 PM
My only comment is that I don't enjoy the company you put XXX with. I guess I thought more of it than you did Gaz.

Do not get me wrong. I enjoyed “XXX.” But I enjoyed in the same vein as “The Transporter” or “Charlie’s Angels.” Mindless action. These are the kind of movies the Gaz Hoot Scale was designed for.

“Ultraviolet” is a bit more mindless than most, but still enjoyable.

xoxo~
Gaz
Has a soft spot for shoot-em-ups.

jidar
03-16-2006, 01:49 PM
I enjoyed Ultra Violet. You just have to go in knowing it's going to be stupid as hell, but the wow factor is great, I love their use of nano-tech in the movie as well.

Halfcan
03-16-2006, 01:53 PM
Nice review. Mila is hot-so I will probably watch it on DVD.

Otter
03-16-2006, 02:04 PM
You ever dip your toe in the Soprano's Pool Gaz?

Come and have some cool aid.

John_Wayne
03-16-2006, 02:32 PM
Gaz, what is your Hoot scale? Is it 0 - 5 hoots? I forgot. So, you give this movie 3 / 5 hoots, right? I just wanted to be sure. Obviously it makes a difference if you are using a 4 hoot, 5 hoot or 10 hoot scale. I'd be surprised if you gave this move 3 / 4 hoots.

You might find this crazy, but I really do base my movie viewing habits, somewhat, on the reviews from ChiefsPlanet. Usually, if I average the reviews together, I get a good idea of whether or not I want to see a movie. It's worked well so far.

Just for fun, where would you put the 1980 Popeye movie on your hoot scale? 1 hoot? 0 hoots? -2 hoots?

John_Wayne
03-16-2006, 02:35 PM
Nice review. Mila is hot-so I will probably watch it on DVD. She is very hot even though she has tiny hooters.

Logical
03-16-2006, 02:40 PM
Gaz, what is your Hoot scale? Is it 0 - 5 hoots? I forgot. So, you give this movie 3 / 5 hoots, right? I just wanted to be sure. Obviously it makes a difference if you are using a 4 hoot, 5 hoot or 10 hoot scale. I'd be surprised if you gave this move 3 / 4 hoots.

You might find this crazy, but I really do base my movie viewing habits, somewhat, on the reviews from ChiefsPlanet. Usually, if I average the reviews together, I get a good idea of whether or not I want to see a movie. It's worked well so far.

Just for fun, where would you put the 1980 Popeye movie on your hoot scale? 1 hoot? 0 hoots? -2 hoots?

Since Gaz has not had a chance to get back to you, I know the top is 5 hoots. I don't know if it goes down to 0.

John_Wayne
03-16-2006, 03:09 PM
Since Gaz has not had a chance to get back to you, I know the top is 5 hoots. I don't know if it goes down to 0.

That's what I thought. I assume it's a 1-5 scale.

Gaz
03-16-2006, 08:41 PM
As Vlad pointed out, the Gaz Hoot Scale maximum is [5]. I use this scale to rate films that cannot be rated on any scale that includes acting ability, social relevance or importance on whatever issue is currently hot. I am solely concern in whether a movie is fun.

On that scale, "Ultraviolet" is above average at 3 Hoots, but falls short of complete and utter Hootage because of the unfortunate attempts to introduce important quiet scenes in an otherwise loud and silly film. This is one of the rare instances where a movie fails to go far enough over the top. There is absolutely no chance that anyone with a fraction of a brain will take this film seriously, so they might as well have gone totally comic book with the movie. Sadly, they showed in appropriate restraint.

To be sure, the action scenes are mega-fun, but the inept attempts at real conversation, much less real emotions, simply drag the movie to a halt. Fortunately, the next kick-butt action scene reminds you of why you went to see "Ultraviolet" in the first place: violent action scenes filmed with state-of-the art "bullet time" camera gimmicks and Mila Jovovich's lovely posterior clad in leather in various shades.

As long as you expect nothing more than this, "Ultraviolet" satisfies. If you crave more, you will be disappointed.

xoxo~
Gaz
Card-carrying member of the the brain-deadened audience "Ultraviolet" craves.

'Hamas' Jenkins
03-16-2006, 08:49 PM
Gaz, have you seen "Equilibrium? If not, I recommend you check it out.

unlurking
03-16-2006, 10:31 PM
haha, great review, as usual Gaz

I'm looking forward to this movie, as I usually have no problem leaving my brain at the door. My problem is trying to remember to put it back in!

Ebolapox
03-16-2006, 10:32 PM
went to see it opening weekend... action was great... plot was confusing/nonexistant

-EB-

greg63
03-16-2006, 11:41 PM
..."Ultraviolet" is about one thing and one thing only:

Kicking butt

The action scenes are quite good. Frenetic, well-choreographed, stylized and brutal, with a big old heapin' helpin' of the "bullet time" effect from "The Matrix." Violet plows through hordes of goons, punching, slashing, kicking, shooting and running them over with cars. At one point, she simply dances around in the center of a group of Asian thugs and taunts them into shooting each other. Did I mention that this is a stupid movie? Mooks drop by the dozens [or the hundreds in the final climactic battle]. There is a fight with flaming swords in a dark room that is fun to watch. And Violet always finds time to strike a pose for a moment before the next punch-up, giving you time to admire Mila Jovovich her latest costume.


What else does it need?? :D

Gaz
03-17-2006, 05:54 AM
Gaz, have you seen "Equilibrium? If not, I recommend you check it out.

Yes, I saw "Equilibrium." Good stuff. Not great stuff, but good stuff. Wimmer recycles his "gun kata" routine in "Ultraviolet." Vi is at her butt-kicking best when surrounded by goons.

While I enjoyed "Equilibrium," I would have to say that "Ultraviolet" is more fun. "Equilibrium" was a dark, murky film and "Ultraviolet" is all primary colors and flash.

xoxo~
Gaz
Likes the pretty colors.

ChiefButthurt
03-17-2006, 06:15 AM
You're the bomb Gaz....you're way more cool than Bob Dole.

John_Wayne
03-17-2006, 07:24 AM
Thanks Gaz. Your movie reviews are the best. When I'm thinking of going to another movie, I'll ask your opinion first. Scary thought, huh?

Extra Point
03-17-2006, 07:36 AM
"Total Recall" was a three-hoot movie