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View Full Version : Arrrrr, they've breached the hull. (Personal bragging)


Rain Man
03-23-2006, 02:46 PM
We're expanding the business again, and times are good. My company is doubling our office space, and today was the day that a construction worker axed open a wall to combine the new space with the old. It's cool - We've got a big ol' hallway now that's long enough to run 40s. (We're going to add that as a new interviewing tool.)

It's more space than we need right now, and the extra space is this big open area that's probably 1,000 square feet. What should I do with the open space? My early thoughts are to make it my office, and have the biggest office in Denver for a while, or to make it a mini-golf course. Any other ideas?

It's about 30 x 30, with windows on one side, offices on two sides, and a wall on the fourth. There's a big structural column right in the middle of it, too.

SLAG
03-23-2006, 02:47 PM
Hire Me

Rain Man
03-23-2006, 02:48 PM
What do you do?

And what's your time in the 40?

Iowanian
03-23-2006, 02:49 PM
small gym and relaxation area for your workers.

Put a foosball table, heavy punching bag, an exercise bike.....something like that for stress relief and to spawn creativity.

If I made that space MY office, I'm pretty sure I'd put a gumball machine, big enough for 2 midgets to tiny ride bikes around inside the globe, just like the circus stunt riders....just for sport.

KCTitus
03-23-2006, 02:49 PM
kickball court...obviously.

rageeumr
03-23-2006, 02:52 PM
Got any use for an engineering manager? :)

Count Alex's Losses
03-23-2006, 02:52 PM
Turn the space into a film studio and start filming amateur porn. Your employees are naturally horny in the corporate setting, and there's bound to be an attractive subset. You can also hire some of the construction workers.

Amnorix
03-23-2006, 02:52 PM
Air hockey and a pool table. Watch worker productivity decline rapidly.

Actually -- with your collection of interns etc., how about a king sized bed and mirrored walls and ceilings? Install soundproofing...

rageeumr
03-23-2006, 02:52 PM
But seriously... four square courts. As many as you can fit.

Iowanian
03-23-2006, 02:53 PM
Meatpeeker might be onto something.

Your office might be alot more popular with the ladies if you just put a twister mat and a Sybian in the middle of your space.

Count Alex's Losses
03-23-2006, 02:54 PM
Moneyshots travel farther in the thin air of Denver.

Skip Towne
03-23-2006, 02:55 PM
If it is on the ground floor, I'd make it into a brothel. But on higher floors there would be too much ****ing overhead.

Amnorix
03-23-2006, 02:56 PM
Meatpeeker might be onto something.

Your office might be alot more popular with the ladies if you just put a twister mat and a Sybian in the middle of your space.

A Sybian. Nice touch.
ROFL

Iowanian
03-23-2006, 02:57 PM
watch that google search at work....


yeah....I'd put the sybian next to the giant gumball machine.
Walkins welcome, but you must be able to fit through this circle to ride.

Don't pay any attention to the camera in the ceiling and on the desk...its just security for the night watch.

Amnorix
03-23-2006, 02:58 PM
Moneyshots travel farther in the thin air of Denver.

At the risk of hijacking this thread, which already has serious potential, I've never understood the appeal of the money shot. Why do I want to see a guy spurting?!? :spock: :hmmm:

Amnorix
03-23-2006, 02:59 PM
watch that google search at work....

:fire: :fire:

Rain Man
03-23-2006, 03:02 PM
I will point out as well that part of our new space is directly beneath the hot tub in the women's locker room of the health club in our building.

I'm liking a lot of the ideas presented here. However, I must agree with Amnorix on the whole money shot thing. I already have an extensive written record of documentation that I don't even want men appearing in my porn.


On a completely different topic, does anyone here know how to thread a camera lens through a plumbing pipe?

Count Alex's Losses
03-23-2006, 03:04 PM
On a completely different topic, does anyone here know how to thread a camera lens through a plumbing pipe?

Call an oil company. I reccomend Halliburton.

Rain Man
03-23-2006, 03:04 PM
Hmm. I wonder if I could install a periscope.

Count Alex's Losses
03-23-2006, 03:06 PM
Anyway, on a serious note, if I'm not mistaken, you're often forced to watch the Chiefs at work.

Turn the space into a gameroom with a big HDTV, DirecTV and several comfy chairs and sofas.

ENDelt260
03-23-2006, 03:06 PM
Hire Me
Don't do it Rain Man. He shows up late and wastes all day on the Internet.

Dartgod
03-23-2006, 03:08 PM
I will point out as well that part of our new space is directly beneath the hot tub in the women's locker room of the health club in our building.

http://www.shopwildplanet.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/wpt70103.jpg

Rain Man
03-23-2006, 03:10 PM
Anyway, on a serious note, if I'm not mistaken, you're often forced to watch the Chiefs at work.

Turn the space into a gameroom with a big HDTV, DirecTV and several comfy chairs and sofas.


We're already got a room for that. Seriously. Our focus group viewing room has a fortysomething-inch TV in it, with a couch and chairs. My only problem is that we're having all sorts of trouble getting a DirectTV line brought in, since there are issues about roof access.

I'm thinking gym in the open space.

Rain Man
03-23-2006, 03:13 PM
Don't do it Rain Man. He shows up late and wastes all day on the Internet.

We certainly don't need another one of those.

JimNasium
03-23-2006, 03:14 PM
Turn the space into a film studio and start filming amateur porn. Your employees are naturally horny in the corporate setting, and there's bound to be an attractive subset. You can also hire some of the construction workers.
Would it be possible for you to speak about things that you actually have first hand knowledge of please?

ENDelt260
03-23-2006, 03:15 PM
We certainly don't need another one of those.
On the plus side, from the looks of the things in the user pictures thread, if you stand next to him all day you'll look more attractive.

Amnorix
03-23-2006, 03:15 PM
II'm liking a lot of the ideas presented here. However, I must agree with Amnorix on the whole money shot thing. I already have an extensive written record of documentation that I don't even want men appearing in my porn.

I note in particular that there's really nothing a man can do that a woman with a strap on wouldn't look better doing...

On a completely different topic, does anyone here know how to thread a camera lens through a plumbing pipe?

http://www.spooktech.com/bodyworn/tacticalvideosystems.shtml

http://www.spooktech.com/bodyworn/tacticalvideosurveillancesystem2.jpg

Hog Farmer
03-23-2006, 03:28 PM
You might find something helpful here:
www.spy-tronix.com (http://www.spy-tronix.com)

Sounds like a good place for those large boulders you've always wanted.

Rain Man
03-23-2006, 03:33 PM
I note in particular that there's really nothing a man can do that a woman with a strap on wouldn't look better doing...



Wiser words were never spoken.

Mr. Laz
03-23-2006, 03:34 PM
We're expanding the business again, and times are good. My company is doubling our office space, and today was the day that a construction worker axed open a wall to combine the new space with the old. It's cool - We've got a big ol' hallway now that's long enough to run 40s. (We're going to add that as a new interviewing tool.)

It's more space than we need right now, and the extra space is this big open area that's probably 1,000 square feet. What should I do with the open space? My early thoughts are to make it my office, and have the biggest office in Denver for a while, or to make it a mini-golf course. Any other ideas?

It's about 30 x 30, with windows on one side, offices on two sides, and a wall on the fourth. There's a big structural column right in the middle of it, too.

your company should be ashamed for using illegal workers

Rain Man
03-23-2006, 03:34 PM
On the plus side, from the looks of the things in the user pictures thread, if you stand next to him all day you'll look more attractive.

That's a scary thought. Was he in some sort of industrial accident or something?

Iowanian
03-23-2006, 03:35 PM
Learn from the planet...Right as those illegals are finishing the work, call INS instead of paying them.

ENDelt260
03-23-2006, 03:37 PM
That's a scary thought. Was he in some sort of industrial accident or something?
Possibly a genetic experiment gone awry...

SLAG
03-23-2006, 03:46 PM
Possibly a genetic experiment gone awry...

No No We are talking about MY ugly Face not yours

Rain Man
03-23-2006, 03:48 PM
your company should be ashamed for using illegal workers

No habla inglis.

ENDelt260
03-23-2006, 03:49 PM
No habla inglis.
Your Spanish sucks, too.

ENDelt260
03-23-2006, 03:50 PM
No No We are talking about MY ugly Face not yours
C'mon now. There's been plenty of photos of me posted on this site. Everyone knows I'm beautiful.

harpes
03-23-2006, 03:52 PM
Does a brass pole, strobe lights and a bottle of jack give you any ideas?

kepp
03-23-2006, 03:57 PM
Roller Rink - racing, limbo contests, couples dances - and you can earn extra $$ hosting 8th grade birthday parties.

Logical
03-23-2006, 04:09 PM
Moneyshots travel farther in the thin air of Denver.TMI

But if this were true don't you suppose that Denver would have become the porn Bukkake capital of the world?

ENDelt260
03-23-2006, 04:12 PM
TMI

But if this were true don't you suppose that Denver would have become the porn Bukkake capital of the world?
Too cold. Hot chicks live in warm climates.

Count Alex's Losses
03-23-2006, 04:13 PM
TMI

But if this were true don't you suppose that Denver would have become the porn Bukkake capital of the world?

My sources within the industry tell me that most of the studios in the San Fernando Valley import their moneyshots from the Rocky Mountains!

SLAG
03-23-2006, 04:13 PM
TMI

But if this were true don't you suppose that Denver would have become the porn Bukkake capital of the world?

It is the Limp Bizkit Capitol of the world

Skip Towne
03-23-2006, 04:15 PM
C'mon now. There's been plenty of photos of me posted on this site. Everyone knows I'm beautiful.
I like the one where you..............ummm...............lost control of your bladder.

ENDelt260
03-23-2006, 04:17 PM
I like the one where you..............ummm...............lost control of your bladder.
That's cause you're a sick, twisted old man. Luckily for you, in this age of the Internet there's plenty of sites to satisfy your pee fetish. I'd appreciate it if you quit spanking your old, limp noodle to a photoshopped pic of me. It's starting to creep me out.

Amnorix
03-23-2006, 04:30 PM
That's a scary thought. Was he in some sort of industrial accident or something?



ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

Rain Man
03-23-2006, 05:04 PM
Too cold. Hot chicks live in warm climates.

There has to be some sort of climate zone that's the perfect combination to get bikini tops and nipping out. I'm thinking it's a warm place that gets frequent icy breezes.

ENDelt260
03-23-2006, 05:15 PM
There has to be some sort of climate zone that's the perfect combination to get bikini tops and nipping out. I'm thinking it's a warm place that gets frequent icy breezes.
I've never heard a more noble call for some market research.

Rain Man
03-23-2006, 05:17 PM
I've never heard a more noble call for some market research.

Perhaps I have just discovered my reason for existence.

Toad
03-23-2006, 09:59 PM
Is there room for a lil' dodge ball?

Mr. Kotter
03-23-2006, 10:07 PM
Congrats. :thumb:

alanm
03-23-2006, 10:53 PM
I will point out as well that part of our new space is directly beneath the hot tub in the women's locker room of the health club in our building.

I'm liking a lot of the ideas presented here. However, I must agree with Amnorix on the whole money shot thing. I already have an extensive written record of documentation that I don't even want men appearing in my porn.


On a completely different topic, does anyone here know how to thread a camera lens through a plumbing pipe?I'm your guy Kevin. I'm well versed in that sort of thing.
:)

PastorMikH
03-23-2006, 10:56 PM
I vote for the office. If I remember right from another thread a year or so back, (Ceiling tile counting if I remember right) that your office isn't really all that big. I'd suggest centering your desk in the middle of the back wall - prefferable a window at your back. If no window is handy, bookshelves with a bunch of old hardback books bought from a used book store will do. Now, this is important, make sure you have your chair's height cranked up and saw about 2 inches off the legs of the chairs accross from the desk so people have to look up to you.

;):)

big nasty kcnut
03-23-2006, 11:18 PM
If it was me i'd use it for a video game room. Also part of it used as a bar for clients.

trndobrd
03-23-2006, 11:55 PM
You should install a cage in the middle. Force prospective employees into cage death matches for the job. I would also help avoid pesky equal employment complaints in your promotion practices. You would be able to explain to the Dept of Labor investigator that everyone considered for the VP position were equally armed with a pickaxe handle.