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JimNasium
04-13-2006, 09:13 PM
it was stated that the average length of a male member is 5 1/2 inches. For once in my life I am above average.

Iowanian
04-13-2006, 09:16 PM
You're measuring from your tailbone again jimbo...I don't think thats a legal measurement.

JimNasium
04-13-2006, 09:17 PM
You're measuring from your tailbone again jimbo...I don't think thats a legal measurement.
You mean you are not supposed to include the coin purse?

UteChief
04-13-2006, 09:18 PM
Well I thought it was only 3.5 to the g spot so 5.5 works. Plus it's not the pen it's the penmanship.

tommykat
04-13-2006, 09:18 PM
it was stated that the average length of a male member is 5 1/2 inches. For once in my life I am above average.

:hmmm: Really? Jenny must be home and you are "Home Alone". ROFL

JimNasium
04-13-2006, 09:19 PM
:hmmm: Really? Jenny must be home and you are "Home Alone". ROFL
Actually, I'm home with kids.

Halfcan
04-13-2006, 09:20 PM
You measured? That is weird.

tommykat
04-13-2006, 09:21 PM
Actually, I'm home with kids.

knew that....;)

JimNasium
04-13-2006, 09:22 PM
You measured? That is weird.
Who says I measured? I've got assistants to do the menial work.

JimNasium
04-13-2006, 09:23 PM
knew that....;)
Sorry to hear about your puppy. :(

tk13
04-13-2006, 09:23 PM
Who says I measured? I've got assistants to do the menial work.
You spelled "penile" wrong.

JimNasium
04-13-2006, 09:24 PM
You spelled "penile" wrong.
I'm not very intelligent.

tommykat
04-13-2006, 09:24 PM
Sorry to hear about your puppy. :(

Thanks it was so hard to see all the blood etc..just keep crying...sorry to knock off your thread.

Katipan
04-13-2006, 09:25 PM
This is a fantastic thread.

Skip Towne
04-13-2006, 09:29 PM
I'm not very intelligent.
I've always said that.

stumppy
04-13-2006, 09:29 PM
Sheesh. Can't believe I'm just average.

What about when it gets hard?

Ari Chi3fs
04-13-2006, 09:30 PM
You fawkers are always good for a larf.

Skip Towne
04-13-2006, 09:31 PM
Sheesh. Can't believe I'm just average.

What about when it gets hard?
Hey, we're measuring across the head.

JimNasium
04-13-2006, 09:32 PM
This is a fantastic thread.
Twelve inches would qualify as fantastic. Sorry, but I'm not fantastic.

Katipan
04-13-2006, 09:33 PM
A girl is only so deep and yet men are obsessed with penis length.

What the hell do you do with a 12 inch penis?

Kill bugs?
Shoe horn?

Skip Towne
04-13-2006, 09:34 PM
Twelve inches would qualify as fantastic. Sorry, but I'm not fantastic.
Jenny told me you were halfastic.

JimNasium
04-13-2006, 09:35 PM
A girl is only so deep and yet men are obsessed with penis length.

What the hell do you do with a 12 inch penis?

Kill bugs?
Shoe horn?
I think I would most likely walk around with my hand on it making grunting noises. I guess I'll never know. :p

JimNasium
04-13-2006, 09:36 PM
Jenny told me you were halfastic.
Wouldn't you like to know...Vito.

morphius
04-13-2006, 09:36 PM
I've always said that.
You've always said that you were not very intelligent?

Iowanian
04-13-2006, 09:41 PM
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
On the Internet, my clam hammer is so big, that women used to pay me to sit naked on the floor with it stretched out, so they could put golf balls at my pee hole...

They were really impressed when I shot the ball back into their ball bucket on the other side of the room.

Good for tips.

Katipan
04-13-2006, 09:42 PM
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
On the Internet, my clam hammer is so big, that women used to pay me to sit naked on the floor with it stretched out, so they could put golf balls at my pee hole...

They were really impressed when I shot the ball back into their ball bucket on the other side of the room.

Good for tips.

I've put money in your g-string.

Rausch
04-13-2006, 09:42 PM
I've been told that trimming the hedges makes the sidewalk look longer.

Rausch
04-13-2006, 09:44 PM
Wouldn't you like to know...Vito.

I'll have you know I talked to both Jenny's for a half hour or so.








She was not amused...

Katipan
04-13-2006, 09:45 PM
It also increases the odds that someone will play on it.

Rausch
04-13-2006, 09:46 PM
It also increases the odds that someone will play on it.

"Quit'cher bitchen. It'll put fiber in yer' diet..."

leviw
04-13-2006, 09:47 PM
I've been told that trimming the hedges makes the sidewalk look longer.

If you're going to spend time trimming, you might as well bring out the razor and take care of it all. Your significant other will not be disappointed.

Katipan
04-13-2006, 09:48 PM
You know her, huh?

Rausch
04-13-2006, 09:53 PM
If you're going to spend time trimming, you might as well bring out the razor and take care of it all. Your significant other will not be disappointed.


I'm not sure if this is a misguided comment on my unit or an equally misguided attempt to get me to go he-kini line...

Skip Towne
04-13-2006, 09:54 PM
You've always said that you were not very intelligent?
No, I was trying to say that you weren't very intelligent. I don't know what went wrong.

leviw
04-13-2006, 09:54 PM
I'm not sure if this is a misguided comment on my unit or an equally misguided attempt to get me to go he-kini line...

It was just misguided in general. Moving on...

VonneMarie
04-13-2006, 09:55 PM
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
On the Internet, my clam hammer is so big, that women used to pay me to sit naked on the floor with it stretched out, so they could put golf balls at my pee hole...

They were really impressed when I shot the ball back into their ball bucket on the other side of the room.

Good for tips.
ROFL

Iowanian
04-13-2006, 09:57 PM
It was just misguided in general. Moving on...

Sorry pal....even if the grass is shorter than the south pole science station, no chic is thinking that thimble is doing any wombwrecking.

leviw
04-13-2006, 09:59 PM
Sorry pal....even if the grass is shorter than the south pole science station, no chic is thinking that thimble is doing any wombwrecking.
Like I've always said, it's not for her benefit. It's for mine.

SLAG
04-13-2006, 10:00 PM
On TLC on the program "Inside Sex" or something, they stated that the smaller the Penis looks when it is not erect the bigger it is when it is erect..

Skip Towne
04-13-2006, 10:00 PM
A girl is only so deep and yet men are obsessed with penis length.

What the hell do you do with a 12 inch penis?

Kill bugs?
Shoe horn?
Finally, the voice of reason. My ex couldn't take the last inch or so and I never complained. Yet all these testosterone driven cavemen still want 12" . :shrug:

Rausch
04-13-2006, 10:00 PM
No, I was trying to say that you weren't very intelligent. I don't know what went wrong.


I've met Silent Bob, I haven't met you.

Right now I'm siding with Silent Morph (you've never bought me a beer, grandpa.)

VonneMarie
04-13-2006, 10:01 PM
On TLC on the program "Inside Sex" or something, they stated that the smaller the Penis looks when it is not erect the bigger it is when it is erect..
I can tell you right now, that is NOT true.

Iowanian
04-13-2006, 10:01 PM
Skip...I hate to break it to you, but they tied off her skinsock during her historectomy at first light.

Rausch
04-13-2006, 10:03 PM
I can tell you right now, that is NOT true.

I thought we had something special?...

DJay23
04-13-2006, 10:04 PM
The angle of the dangle is directly proportional to the heat of the meat.

VonneMarie
04-13-2006, 10:05 PM
I thought we had something special?...
It was.

I've never had sex with a guy that uses a tweezer to get in...

Skip Towne
04-13-2006, 10:07 PM
I've met Silent Bob, I haven't met you.

Right now I'm siding with Silent Morph (you've never bought me a beer, grandpa.)
Well, you just lowered your chances exponentially of me ever buying you a beer.

Rausch
04-13-2006, 10:07 PM
It was.

I've never had sex with a guy that uses a tweezer to get in...

Ghads.

Completely uncalled for.

listopencil
04-13-2006, 10:08 PM
I can tell you right now, that is NOT true.

How do you prove or disprove something like that without asking someone who has seen many penises? Hmmm...gochiefs?

morphius
04-13-2006, 10:08 PM
No, I was trying to say that you weren't very intelligent. I don't know what went wrong.
That should tell you everything you need to know :D

Rausch
04-13-2006, 10:08 PM
Well, you just lowered your chances exponentially of me ever buying you a beer.


With the amount of pr0n I've purchased on DTV it's the least you could do...

Rausch
04-13-2006, 10:09 PM
How do you prove or disprove something like that without asking someone who has seen many penises?

Between a 20-something gal and a Denver fan I'd say you're both equally qualified...

VonneMarie
04-13-2006, 10:11 PM
How do you prove or disprove something like that without asking someone who has seen many penises? Hmmm...gochiefs?
I only know of one to tell you that statement was not true.

VonneMarie
04-13-2006, 10:11 PM
Between a 20-something gal and a Denver fan I'd say you're both equally qualified...
What? :spock:

listopencil
04-13-2006, 10:12 PM
Between a 20-something gal and a Denver fan I'd say you're both equally qualified...


Well, viewing mine would make it uneccessary for you to go hungering after more man meat but I'm taken and I don't thwing that way thailor.

Skip Towne
04-13-2006, 10:16 PM
Well, you just lowered your chances exponentially of me ever buying you a beer.
Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you that I hope you and Morphidite are happy together, YES!!!

morphius
04-13-2006, 10:17 PM
Well, viewing mine would make it uneccessary for you to go hungering after more man meat but I'm taken and I don't thwing that way thailor.
Well, with that nose and those ears you better have a big...

Rausch
04-13-2006, 10:18 PM
What? :spock:

Yer not 20?

Uh....heh......****.

Ah.....ugh........must.....scrub..........wash.....make.....clean.....so wrong.....

morphius
04-13-2006, 10:18 PM
Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you that I hope you and Morphidite are happy together, YES!!!
Now you are talking to yourself on a BB, what are you GoChiefs?

VonneMarie
04-13-2006, 10:19 PM
Yer not 20?

Uh....heh......****.

Ah.....ugh........must.....scrub..........wash.....make.....clean.....so wrong.....
I'm 21...

I just wasn't paying attention. :huh:

Rausch
04-13-2006, 10:21 PM
Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you that I hope you and Morphidite are happy together, YES!!!

We're both straight, but it's nice to hear you encourage same seggs relationships.

I've got a buddy I can introduce you to...

morphius
04-13-2006, 10:21 PM
I'm 21...

I just wasn't paying attention. :huh:
and your not even blond.

VonneMarie
04-13-2006, 10:23 PM
and your not even blond.
Well, you're stoopid!


Yes! ...

Skip Towne
04-13-2006, 10:23 PM
Now you are talking to yourself on a BB, what are you GoChiefs?
Actually I was talking to Rausch. Have you two decided who is pitcher and who is catcher? Not that I care but just to clarify.

Rausch
04-13-2006, 10:24 PM
I'm 21...

I just wasn't paying attention. :huh:

Well, it was good for me anyway...

morphius
04-13-2006, 10:24 PM
Well, you're stoopid!


Yes! ...
How long have you been posting here, everyone knows its "your and idiot" :D

VonneMarie
04-13-2006, 10:26 PM
How long have you been posting here, everyone knows its "your and idiot" :D
Sorry I'm not in the loop.


Stoopid...

VonneMarie
04-13-2006, 10:26 PM
Well, it was good for me anyway...
Um, you completely lost me again.

morphius
04-13-2006, 10:27 PM
Actually I was talking to Rausch. Have you two decided who is pitcher and who is catcher? Not that I care but just to clarify.
You must be having a great night with those images dancing in your head.

morphius
04-13-2006, 10:29 PM
Sorry I'm not in the loop.


Stoopid...

I was bringing you into the loop, but hey, I have been called worse...

Skip Towne
04-13-2006, 10:29 PM
We're both straight, but it's nice to hear you encourage same seggs relationships.

I've got a buddy I can introduce you to...
You lie to your friends and I'll lie to mine but let's not lie to each other. I won't tell anybody about you and Morph. Tic-a-lock

Rausch
04-13-2006, 10:32 PM
You must be having a great night with those images dancing in your head.

He decides to have a male-on-male fantasy and picks the whitest, most goofy, and unlikely mudderfuggers on the whole BB.

Somewhere, GoatCheese is laughing and pointing...

VonneMarie
04-13-2006, 10:32 PM
I was bringing you into the loop, but hey, I have been called worse...
I apologize. And to show you my gratitude I will use the phrase "your and idiot" in one of my post in the next 24 hours.

Rausch
04-13-2006, 10:33 PM
You lie to your friends and I'll lie to mine but let's not lie to each other.

http://www.nedleypublishing.com/images/ProofPositiveCover.jpg

Rausch
04-13-2006, 10:35 PM
I apologize. And to show you my gratitude I will use the phrase "your and idiot" in one of my post in the next 24 hours.

You'll get much more use out of this...

stevieray
04-13-2006, 10:35 PM
for once in my life
I 've got someone who doesn't think
that i'm below average

just like they did before

for once in my life
this extra eighth inch won't leave me
not like it's left me before

for once I can say
this is mine you can't take it..
as long as I know jenny's not faking it...

for once in my life
i've got an above average penis who neeeeeeds meeeee.....

morphius
04-13-2006, 10:36 PM
He decides to have a male-on-male fantasy and picks the whitest, most goofy, and unlikely mudderfuggers on the whole BB.

Somewhere, GoatCheese is laughing and pointing...
Okay, that is the funniest thing I have read here in a while.

LMAO!!!

VonneMarie
04-13-2006, 10:37 PM
You'll get much more use out of this...
http://www.backstage-fashion.com/Family_Guy_Stewie_patch_pfg0015.jpg

J Diddy
04-13-2006, 10:37 PM
You'll get much more use out of this...


watch Out

Grammer Nazi on Patrol

Katipan
04-13-2006, 10:38 PM
Indeed. If I were to pick a male on male fantasy. Morphius on Rausch sounds like fun.

morphius
04-13-2006, 10:39 PM
I apologize. And to show you my gratitude I will use the phrase "your and idiot" in one of my post in the next 24 hours.
LOL! No need, don't be one of the crowd, its probably cooler if you don't in this case.

morphius
stoopid head.

Rausch
04-13-2006, 10:39 PM
watch Out

Grammer Nazi on Patrol


Hey, pointing out the grammer mistakes in others provides me with a nearly unlimited spell-check on all my posts.

:)

VonneMarie
04-13-2006, 10:41 PM
LOL! No need, don't be one of the crowd, its probably cooler if you don't in this case.

morphius
stoopid head.
No. I need to be in the "in crowd" it's very important to me.

morphius
04-13-2006, 10:41 PM
Indeed. If I were to pick a male on male fantasy. Morphius on Rausch sounds like fun.
Well, thats a little less disturbing.

morphius
off to bed with the pregnant lady...

morphius
04-13-2006, 10:42 PM
No. I need to be in the "in crowd" it's very important to me.
What if the "in" crowd really isn't "in"?

Rausch
04-13-2006, 10:43 PM
Indeed. If I were to pick a male on male fantasy. Morphius on Rausch sounds like fun.

Hate to break yer heart, but I'm not taking a brat in the bun fer all the beer in Deutschland...

VonneMarie
04-13-2006, 10:43 PM
What if the "in" crowd really isn't "in"?
Why wouldn't it be?

Skip Towne
04-13-2006, 10:44 PM
Indeed. If I were to pick a male on male fantasy. Morphius on Rausch sounds like fun.
I'd agree if they just hadn't dragged me into their little love triangle. Include me OUT!!! I've told both of them to leave me alone but both of them call me all the time. What to do? :shrug:

Rausch
04-13-2006, 10:44 PM
No. I need to be in the "in crowd" it's very important to me.

Can you make a fridge beer run in 4.4 seconds?

VonneMarie
04-13-2006, 10:45 PM
I'd agree if they just hadn't dragged me into their little love triangle. Include me OUT!!! I've told both of them to leave me alone but both of them call me all the time. What to do? :shrug:
Skip, you're so hot. Take it as a compliment.

BTW, I got next...

Rausch
04-13-2006, 10:45 PM
I'd agree if they just hadn't dragged me into their little love triangle. Include me OUT!!! I've told both of them to leave me alone but both of them call me all the time. What to do? :shrug:


Quit being a dartboard for our love batter...

VonneMarie
04-13-2006, 10:46 PM
Can you make a fridge beer run in 4.4 seconds?
No. But, I know someone who can.

Skip Towne
04-13-2006, 10:48 PM
Quit being a dartboard for our love batter...
You'd think at my age these young guys wouldn' want old wrinkly sex. But you can see for yourself, they just can't stay away from me.

Katipan
04-13-2006, 10:48 PM
I'd agree if they just hadn't dragged me into their little love triangle. Include me OUT!!! I've told both of them to leave me alone but both of them call me all the time. What to do? :shrug:

You're just asking for it dressed like that.

Mr. Kotter
04-13-2006, 10:49 PM
Are you fuggers really so incompetent you don't label the "Nite Crew" threads anymore....or you just expect us dumb fuggers to figure it out, by the post time and counts!!!!

:cuss: :cuss: :cuss:

Mr. Kotter
04-13-2006, 10:50 PM
No. I need to be in the "in crowd" it's very important to me.

You are very definitely part of the "in" crowd....heh. ;)

Katipan
04-13-2006, 10:50 PM
This thread is about a Planet penis. What the hell did you expect?

VonneMarie
04-13-2006, 10:51 PM
You'd think at my age these young guys wouldn' want old wrinkly sex. But you can see for yourself, they just can't stay away from me.
ROFL ROFL ROFL

VonneMarie
04-13-2006, 10:51 PM
You are very definitely part of the "in" crowd....heh. ;)
:D

Mr. Kotter
04-13-2006, 10:52 PM
Hey, pointing out the grammer mistakes in others provides me with a nearly unlimited spell-check on all my posts.

:)

What? You are gettin' your panties in a wad about grammar....why, the next time, I ought to...

:p

Mr. Kotter
04-13-2006, 10:53 PM
This thread is about a Planet penis. What the hell did you expect?

A Planet Penis? And it involves a she-male like JimNasium? *****, PLEEEEZE..... :harumph:

Skip Towne
04-13-2006, 10:54 PM
You're just asking for it dressed like that.
I try not to provoke them but they are young guys. Young boys and old men appeal to them somehow. :shrug: I don't question it but just try to go with the flow.

Rausch
04-13-2006, 10:55 PM
No. But, I know someone who can.

http://www.forumspile.com/ASL-Naked.jpg

stevieray
04-13-2006, 10:56 PM
this thread could kill a hard on.

Rausch
04-13-2006, 10:56 PM
Young boys and old men appeal to them somehow. :shrug: I don't question it but just try to go with the flow.

Katipan
04-13-2006, 10:57 PM
I dunno. I have a boner.

VonneMarie
04-13-2006, 10:58 PM
http://www.forumspile.com/ASL-Naked.jpg
It's a guy...

stevieray
04-13-2006, 10:58 PM
I dunno. I have a boner.

interesting, when I typed that I thought, well, except katipan.

Mr. Kotter
04-13-2006, 11:01 PM
I dunno. I have a boner.

We are NOT interested in Brian's state of arrousal..... :banghead:

VonneMarie
04-13-2006, 11:05 PM
Ok, who killed the thread?

Mr. Kotter
04-13-2006, 11:08 PM
Ok, who killed the thread?

I think it was Brad's A/S/L pic....I'm still cleaning puke from my keyboard.

BASTARD! :cuss:

ENDelt260
04-13-2006, 11:09 PM
Indeed. If I were to pick a male on male fantasy. Morphius on Rausch sounds like fun.
morphius doesn't even have a goatee...

Katipan
04-13-2006, 11:10 PM
interesting, when I typed that I thought, well, except katipan.

awww my favorite alannah miles song played right as i read your post.

ENDelt260
04-13-2006, 11:12 PM
We are NOT interested in Brian's state of arrousal..... :banghead:
Liar.

Mr. Kotter
04-13-2006, 11:16 PM
awww my favorite alannah miles song played right as i read your post.

So....are you guys across the parking lot, in apartments with a view of each others deck? Or are you side-by-side posting on two computers in the same room? :hmmm:

ENDelt260
04-13-2006, 11:37 PM
No.

Katipan
04-13-2006, 11:40 PM
Mr. Kotter... Is that what you would do with a girl?

Mr. Kotter
04-13-2006, 11:42 PM
Mr. Kotter... Is that what you would do with a girl?

No.

Hint: I am NOT Clayton (gochiefs....). Heh.

Herzig
04-14-2006, 05:25 AM
Like I've always said, it's not for her benefit. It's for mine.

If you shave it all, don't you kind of look like a pre pubescent boy? I don't even want to imagine such a thing.

JimNasium
04-14-2006, 05:55 AM
Why oh why did this thread have to turn to man sechs?

Bootlegged
04-14-2006, 07:34 AM
I'm 7". AROUND. Think about it.

morphius
04-14-2006, 07:49 AM
Why oh why did this thread have to turn to man sechs?
I don't know, it was going just fine until Skip released his distrubing delusions on the rest of us. Somehow he decided that Rausch and I pointing and laughing at Skip while he was wearing shorts, white socks pulled up to the knees, and shiney black leather boots , means that we have some sort of man love for him. Its sort of like an abused puppy really, where he considers any attention as a good thing I guess.

morphius
04-14-2006, 07:50 AM
I'm 7". AROUND. Think about it.
Get your .... out of the beer can you freak.

But please leave the room first, most of us don't want to see it.

ROYC75
04-14-2006, 08:06 AM
Why oh why did this thread have to turn to man sechs?

Probally because you felt a little bit cocky about being better than average ? :shrug:

Must of been this stuff ......http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=93609&page=1&pp=15

jiveturkey
04-14-2006, 08:17 AM
I'm 7". AROUND. Think about it.So you're built like a can of tuna???

Bootlegged
04-14-2006, 08:24 AM
So you're built like a can of tuna???

A carafe, actually

jiveturkey
04-14-2006, 08:29 AM
A carafe, actuallyThat would explain your avatar.