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Rain Man
04-16-2006, 09:06 PM
I leaned in at an awkward angle to close one of our storm windows today, and I'm not the most coordinated person in the world. The bottom line is that the window fell and I ripped off about one-quarter of the fingernail on my left index finger. It didn't come off, though, and so I had a big chunk of fingernail hanging on my finger that was going to require open-heart surgery to remove, but which was going to hang up on everything and leave me shrieking in pain for a month if it it wasn't.

Enter my wife. She led me upstairs and put nail polish on the fingernail. The polish is holding the torn part in place while also smoothing it so it doesn't hang up on stuff and get torn again. I don't call her Einstein just for her expertise in theoretical physics.

I held the line at one finger, though, and I went with the clear polish as opposed to "Cherry Blossom" or "Pretty in Pink." A man has to set some limits.

Simplex3
04-16-2006, 09:07 PM
You're gay.


:p

listopencil
04-16-2006, 09:08 PM
Now put on fishnets and some heels. Then we can talk.

Chiefs Pantalones
04-16-2006, 09:09 PM
matching thong?

blueballs
04-16-2006, 09:09 PM
it works
on posion ivy
cuts off
air to breathe

listopencil
04-16-2006, 09:09 PM
matching thong?


Do they make translucent thongs?

VonneMarie
04-16-2006, 09:11 PM
What color are your bra and panties? Are they a matching set?

Rain Man
04-16-2006, 09:11 PM
I'm feeling a strange urge to invite Susan Sarandon to my house.

Simplex3
04-16-2006, 09:12 PM
I'm feeling a strange urge to invite Susan Sarandon to my house.
It would certainly raise the testosterone level at your place.

T-post Tom
04-16-2006, 09:12 PM
I'm wearing a Tibetan cock ring.

Katipan
04-16-2006, 09:14 PM
I'm wearing a Tibetan cock ring.

What did you do with the Tibetan?

Count Zarth
04-16-2006, 09:14 PM
I'm wearing a Tibetan cock ring.

I hear the tibetans make fine quality genital adornments.

milkman
04-16-2006, 09:15 PM
Now put on fishnets and some heels. Then we can talk.

So that's you're type, huh?

Dave Lane
04-16-2006, 09:16 PM
I'm wearing a Tibetan cock ring.

Is it a Cheerio?

Dave

Simplex3
04-16-2006, 09:16 PM
So that's you're type, huh?
He's a Denver fan isn't he?

mikey23545
04-16-2006, 09:17 PM
The color of a man's car never lies....

VonneMarie
04-16-2006, 09:17 PM
Is it a Cherrio?

Dave
LOL

milkman
04-16-2006, 09:17 PM
He's a Denver fan isn't he?

I wasn't thinking.

Rain Man
04-16-2006, 09:20 PM
It's strange to think back to when she was pretty.

http://www.spiegel.de/img/0,1020,433395,00.jpg

This is an eye-opening experience for me. I think I can still be manly even while supporting a carefully groomed index finger.

listopencil
04-16-2006, 09:20 PM
I wasn't thinking.


I never said what we would talk about. Fag.

Chiefs Pantalones
04-16-2006, 09:22 PM
Take those panties...now roll them up into a little ball...now put them in your mouth...

T-post Tom
04-16-2006, 09:23 PM
What did you do with the Tibetan?

I am Tibetan.

SPchief
04-16-2006, 09:24 PM
Rainman, I'm really not shocked. I thought all guys from denver wore nail polish and crossdressed.

NTTATWWT

milkman
04-16-2006, 09:25 PM
I never said what we would talk about. Fag.

A little sensitive, aren't we?

tk13
04-16-2006, 09:25 PM
I'd like to change my vote in the April Madness tournament.

listopencil
04-16-2006, 09:26 PM
A little sensitive, aren't we?


No, but I've got some bloating.

T-post Tom
04-16-2006, 09:26 PM
It's strange to think back to when she was pretty.

http://www.spiegel.de/img/0,1020,433395,00.jpg

This is an eye-opening experience for me. I think I can still be manly even while supporting a carefully groomed index finger.

Susan was quite hot in that flick. Bonking Tim Curry in drag launched her career. Maybe there's a fledgling starlet out there looking for a "rainman" wearing nail polish.... :)

Rain Man
04-16-2006, 09:26 PM
New Line Cinema just approached me about movie rights.

milkman
04-16-2006, 09:27 PM
No, but I've got some bloating.

ROFL

SPchief
04-16-2006, 09:27 PM
No, but I've got some bloating.



proves my point

blueballs
04-16-2006, 09:28 PM
Is it a Cherrio?

Dave

gives a whole new meaning
to feeling ones oats

morphius
04-16-2006, 09:28 PM
I let some girl in HS paint my pinky nail. Little did I know that I couldn't get the damn clear glitter nail polish off.

Oh well, lesson learned.

SPchief
04-16-2006, 09:30 PM
I let some girl in HS paint my pinky nail. Little did I know that I couldn't get the damn clear glitter nail polish off.

Oh well, lesson learned.


So you still have a pinky nail with glitter on it?

Isn't that precious

listopencil
04-16-2006, 09:31 PM
I let some girl in HS paint my pinky nail. Little did I know that I couldn't get the damn clear glitter nail polish off.

Oh well, lesson learned.


I let my wife paint my toenails when she was pregnant and couldn't reach her own. The reactions I got when I wore sandals were hilarious.

SPchief
04-16-2006, 09:32 PM
I let my wife paint my toenails when she was pregnant and couldn't reach her own. The reactions I got when I wore sandals were hilarious.



Again, proves my point

Rain Man
04-16-2006, 09:34 PM
Apparently, the working title of the movie is going to be "Blood on the Window." They're talking about having Ned Beatty play me, but I'm going to hold out for Antonio Banderas.

Skip Towne
04-16-2006, 09:34 PM
New Line Cinema just approached me about movie rights.
Sure they did!!!

Ari Chi3fs
04-16-2006, 09:35 PM
Im kinda shocked that you didnt go for the 'Peach' colored nailpolish. Shocked.

Skip Towne
04-16-2006, 09:52 PM
New Line Cinema just approached me about movie rights.
Sure they did!!!

listopencil
04-16-2006, 09:54 PM
Again, proves my point


Heh, I actually winked at a guy that was giving me the evil eye when my toes were painted. In a pizza place right down the street from where I lived. Homophobia can be funny.

Ari Chi3fs
04-16-2006, 09:54 PM
Im kinda shocked that you didnt go for the 'Peach' colored nailpolish. Shocked.

morphius
04-16-2006, 10:06 PM
So you still have a pinky nail with glitter on it?

Isn't that precious
Well, it did wear off, it just didn't come off.

Dave Lane
04-16-2006, 11:25 PM
I think your right.

Dave

Mr. Kotter
04-16-2006, 11:26 PM
Rump Ranger

:p

elvomito
04-16-2006, 11:55 PM
hey maybe you can be a stand-in on the sopranos

Katipan
04-17-2006, 12:07 AM
If you are male and you have ever painted any of your nails, you like at least 1 finger in your butt hole.

Mr. Kotter
04-17-2006, 12:11 AM
If you are male and you have ever painted any of your nails, you like at least 1 finger in your butt hole.
Second knuckle, pressure to the back, just before orgasm...

So I've heard.

QuikSsurfer
04-17-2006, 12:22 AM
just make sure you spread nair all over ur sac

Dave Lane
04-17-2006, 11:01 AM
just make sure you spread nair all over ur sac


Thats got to hurt!

Dave

Fried Meat Ball!
04-17-2006, 11:03 AM
Next thing you know you're going to be calling Jessica Simpson to come over with her strap on.

rad
04-17-2006, 11:30 AM
This thread is worthless without pics

ChiefsFire
04-17-2006, 11:53 AM
This thread is worthless without pics
:shake:

VonneMarie
04-17-2006, 11:56 AM
Thats got to hurt!

Dave
Nope.

It's kinda like a wax on wax off kind of thing. No pain at all. :)

rad
04-17-2006, 11:58 AM
:shake:

Sorry. Seemed like a good time for that one.

Rain Man
04-17-2006, 12:00 PM
This thread is worthless without pics

It's kind of gross, actually. The fingernail is badly torn, and just between you and me, I don't think my wife really took the time to get a smooth gloss with the polish.

rad
04-17-2006, 12:10 PM
It's kind of gross, actually. The fingernail is badly torn, and just between you and me, I don't think my wife really took the time to get a smooth gloss with the polish.

If you want something done right, by golly, you're better off just doing it yourself!

Superglue probably would have done the trick.