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Mr. Kotter
04-19-2006, 05:10 PM
I share this one with my History classes when we study the 50s.....Heh.http://www.robinsweb.com/humor/good_wife.htmlThings every wife should know. Some of you really need to share this with your wives...Saulbadguy, Clint, JimNasium, and ENDelt would do well to read this carefully....and pass it on to the ladies in their lives. Heh. (JK, Ladies!) :pDo you have ones you'd like to add? The Good Wife's Guide
Housekeeping Monthly - May 13, 1955
http://www.robinsweb.com/humor/goodwife.jpg

"We've come a long way, baby!!!"

Without further ado.....


1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

2.Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

3.Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4.Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

5. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

6. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

7. Be happy to see him.

8. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

9. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

10. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

11. Your goal: To try and make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

12. Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

13. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

14. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

15. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.
--->Extras!!! JUST KIDDING, Ladies.....I found it quite amusing though. :p

Clint in Wichita
04-19-2006, 05:14 PM
Jesus H. Christ in a chariot-driven sidecar....


I was born two generations too late. :mad:

Mr. Kotter
04-19-2006, 05:15 PM
Jesus H. Christ in a chariot-driven sidecar....


I was born two generations too late. :mad:

Make sure Red gets this one....ROFL

RedNFeisty
04-19-2006, 05:16 PM
Jesus H. Christ in a chariot-driven sidecar....


I was born two generations too late. :mad:

We can send you back.

RedNFeisty
04-19-2006, 05:16 PM
Make sure Red gets this one....ROFL

And I use to like you....



ROFL

Mr. Kotter
04-19-2006, 05:17 PM
And I use to like you....

Come on, now....admit you laughed. I still do when I read this tripe. ROFL

Clint in Wichita
04-19-2006, 05:18 PM
We can send you back.


Where's Doc Brown when you need him?

Dave Lane
04-19-2006, 05:20 PM
I think that list is older than the graphics christ Kotter thats like 10 years old...

Dave

ROFL

John_Wayne
04-19-2006, 05:20 PM
These all sound quite reasonable. What's the big deal?

RedNFeisty
04-19-2006, 05:20 PM
Come on, now....admit you laughed. I still do when I read this tripe. ROFL


It's okay, I forgive you this once.


I do actually find it funny. Even funnier stupid bitches put up with it for so long.

Mr. Kotter
04-19-2006, 05:21 PM
I think that list is older than the graphics christ Kotter thats like 10 years old...

Dave

ROFL

I hadn't seen it before using it last year.....sorry, you old fogie. :p

Clint in Wichita
04-19-2006, 05:24 PM
It's okay, I forgive you this once.


I do actually find it funny. Even funnier stupid bitches put up with it for so long.


Yeah...now all the stupid bitches wanna have careers and sh!t.

ChiefsOne
04-19-2006, 05:31 PM
I've tried to convience my wife of this, she just won't listen.

Damn women, give them the right to vote and see where we are now guys!

SLAG
04-19-2006, 05:36 PM
I've tried to convience my wife of this, she just won't listen.

Damn women, give them the right to vote and see where we are now guys!
give them an inch and they take a mile --good thing my wife can follow my directions

Mr. Kotter
04-19-2006, 06:15 PM
give them an inch and they take a mile --good thing my wife can follow my directions

:spock:

That's not how I remember it from your thread a while back.....:p

FTR, I hope things are better on your homefront of late.

bogie
04-19-2006, 06:28 PM
This sucks, not one word about giving a good BJ.

bogie
04-19-2006, 06:29 PM
Or anal... bummer!

SLAG
04-19-2006, 06:35 PM
FTR, I hope things are better on your homefront of late.
yeah we have overcome that last speed bump and things are really good. i am still quit smoking and i feel better than i have in a long time now just to find wife #2

Ari Chi3fs
04-19-2006, 06:58 PM
Thats what Im talking about.

Skip Towne
04-19-2006, 07:08 PM
yeah we have overcome that last speed bump and things are really good. i am still quit smoking and i feel better than i have in a long time now just to find wife #2
I must have missed something. If you have overcome the last speed bump why do you need to find wife #2?

SLAG
04-19-2006, 08:00 PM
I must have missed something. If you have overcome the last speed bump why do you need to find wife #2?
wife 2 is an addition not an replacement -- we have been inspired by big love :D

Ari Chi3fs
04-19-2006, 09:47 PM
i love 1955.

Simplex3
04-19-2006, 10:24 PM
This sucks, not one word about giving a good BJ.
I've got to tell you, I'd have to seriously consider it if my wife would do all of this in trade for no more BJ's.

Logical
04-19-2006, 10:31 PM
I think most men would settle for a BJ and a beer.

POND_OF_RED
04-20-2006, 02:41 AM
heres a funnny related story about a guy who was mental and made up a four page contract for his wife to go by...
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html

Rausch
04-20-2006, 03:14 AM
I'm printing a copy now for my g/f.

She'll read it or I'll beat her...

Mr. Kotter
04-20-2006, 07:52 AM
heres a funnny related story about a guy who was mental and made up a four page contract for his wife to go by...
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html

Unbelievable.

Simplex3
04-20-2006, 08:01 AM
Unbelievable.
I know. That guy is a f**king genius. He's on the forefront of societal evolution.

kindra68
04-20-2006, 09:47 AM
and all this time I thought that all I had to do was keep his balls empty and his belly full, damn

Simplex3
04-20-2006, 09:57 AM
and all this time I thought that all I had to do was keep his balls empty and his belly full, damn
Marry me.

ChiefsOne
04-20-2006, 10:06 AM
I forwarded The Good Wife's Guide to my wife and the only repsonse I got was a big FU. Guess I better send her back to that boarding school from Mona Lisa Smiles.

kaplin42
04-20-2006, 10:13 AM
and all this time I thought that all I had to do was keep his balls empty and his belly full, damn

heh, if youre ever looking for husband #2, look me up.

Mr. Kotter
04-20-2006, 10:15 AM
and all this time I thought that all I had to do was keep his balls empty and his belly full, damn

"....oh, it's sad to belong to someone else, when the right one comes along....."

:p

PastorMikH
04-20-2006, 10:20 AM
Oh, this is DEFINATELY Rep material.

I think I just found my sermon notes for Sunday.:D

Mr. Kotter
04-20-2006, 10:30 AM
Oh, this is DEFINATELY Rep material.

I think I just found my sermon notes for Sunday.:D
Glad to be of assistance, Pastor. :thumb:

Rain Man
04-20-2006, 10:33 AM
I bet the good husband guide consists of only one thing: it's our duty to teach our wives when you should go for it on third and short, and when you should punt.

PastorMikH
04-20-2006, 10:37 AM
Glad to be of assistance, Pastor. :thumb:



Oh, and BTW, this should be taught in Home Ec, NOT History!!!


:D

Ari Chi3fs
04-20-2006, 11:06 AM
"....oh, it's sad to belong to someone else, when the right one comes along....."

:p

hah hah a....

Nzoner
04-20-2006, 12:06 PM
I know a couple who recently divorced because the guy found a new love on the computer.Don't know all the details but I found it amusing when I heard the woman was using the nik June Cleaver.

Talisman
04-20-2006, 12:15 PM
Oh, this is DEFINATELY Rep material.

I think I just found my sermon notes for Sunday.:D
I found a text for you on women drivers...

Acts 27:15-20 (KJV)

"...we let her drive. And...all hope that we should be saved was then taken away."

RaiderH8r
04-20-2006, 04:06 PM
give them an inch and they take a mile --good thing my wife can follow my directions
I give'em an inch and tell'em its six.


Ba dum dum.

RedNFeisty
04-20-2006, 05:03 PM
You know guys; it is real easy to get your women to be as serving as the women in the 50ís, it is called multiple orgasms. Just because you guys can only shoot once doesnít mean she is as limited. :p

listopencil
04-20-2006, 05:27 PM
...it's our duty to teach our wives when you should go for it on third and short...




It's been a very looooong off-season.

listopencil
04-20-2006, 05:30 PM
You know guys; it is real easy to get your women to be as serving as the women in the 50ís, it is called multiple orgasms. Just because you guys can only shoot once doesnít mean she is as limited. :p



I find that the more orgasms my wife has the better mood she seems to be in on a daily basis. If nothing else, that's an excellent reason for multi's.

Chiefs_Mike_Topeka
04-20-2006, 06:00 PM
I bet the good husband guide consists of only one thing: it's our duty to teach our wives when you should go for it on third and short, and when you should punt.


Me personally............. I always say go for it on 3rd and short. I don't care where you are on the field!

RedNFeisty
04-20-2006, 06:04 PM
I find that the more orgasms my wife has the better mood she seems to be in on a daily basis. If nothing else, that's an excellent reason for multi's.


And they say you are not smart.

:)

Adept Havelock
04-20-2006, 06:07 PM
You know guys; it is real easy to get your women to be as serving as the women in the 50ís, it is called multiple orgasms. Just because you guys can only shoot once doesnít mean she is as limited. :p

Tantric Servitude? :D

ChiefFripp
04-20-2006, 08:24 PM
. Just because you guys can only shoot once doesnít mean she is as limited. :p

Lick then stick, lick then stick...rinse and repeat. By the fourth cycle a man can usually keep it up for atleast 30 minutes. It just takes a special woman to keep a man interested long enough. Remeber,if he rolls over after the first cycle, it's your fault not his. I'm sure that's written about in one of the chapters.


Notice how I used the word "cycle"? By using a word associated with the washing machine and menstrual phases, you should have a better understanding of what I mean.