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View Full Version : What the - my food court closed!


Rain Man
04-20-2006, 12:09 PM
I went down to get some lunch, and there's a food court about a block from my office.

[Dramatic reenactment] (Walk, walk, walk. Bonk into locked door.) "What the - ? There's a sign. What does the sign say? 'Closed'? 'Thanks for your patronage'? (Sink to ground in fetal position, moaning loudly.) [/end dramatic reenactment]

It brings a tear to my eye to think of all the good times I've had there. The Hawaiian Bowl. Sesame chicken at the place with the teenage server who was into self-help books. Fish and chips - the best fish and chips I've ever had, with hush puppies that were incredible. The pizza place with the dwarf lady at the checkout counter. The greek place that I'd go to even though the counter guy was weird, because I couldn't get enough of those seasoned fries. Sitting up on the top level, looking out over the street with the flies buzzing around my head. This is a sad day, my friends. A sad day. An era has ended.

Predarat
04-20-2006, 12:12 PM
I have good news for you, banquet frozen dinners are on sale 10 for 10 dollas! Until Saturday that is, then the go back to being 1.42 a pop.

StcChief
04-20-2006, 12:21 PM
I guess you and everyone else didn't go down there much...

Sign should have said 'thanks to your lack of patronage
we are closed.'

HemiEd
04-20-2006, 12:23 PM
Pretty simple, the Snack Bar at Wal-Mart put them out of business.

cdcox
04-20-2006, 12:24 PM
The Sesame Chicken server was only working there in order to get enough pay stubs to prove legal residency and move on to a better job.

The Fish and Chips sever ran off with a someone they met in a focus group.

The pizza dwarf is now hauling rocks. He always dreamed of hauling boulders, but the recent popularity of smaller rocks has allowed him to enter this industry despite his diminutive size.

The weird Greek server's drug habit was gettin to large to support by slinging gyros, so he had to move on to bike theft.

BigOlChiefsfan
04-20-2006, 12:29 PM
The sign may have said 'Sesame Chicken'.

But that wasn't chicken.

Skip Towne
04-20-2006, 12:31 PM
I guess you're a "lunch pail guy" now. My teacher told me that's what I'd be if I didn't study harder.

Rain Man
04-20-2006, 12:35 PM
I remember this one time, I went there and I got fish and chips, and the guy there, when you asked for ketchup, would give you these little plastic cups of ketchup rather than packets. So I got my fish and chips and my plastic cups of ketchup, and I sat down in a nice spot and started eating, and these people came to sit near me, and one of them came over and asked if she could take a chair from my table since I was by myself.

You can't buy memories like that.

Phobia
04-20-2006, 12:36 PM
The sign said you've got to have a membership card to get inside.

Nzoner
04-20-2006, 12:38 PM
Pretty simple, the Snack Bar at Wal-Mart put them out of business.

My first thought as well,there must be a Wal-mart close by.

Dartgod
04-20-2006, 12:41 PM
The sign said you've got to have a membership card to get inside.UHH!!

Nzoner
04-20-2006, 12:41 PM
The sign said you've got to have a membership card to get inside.

Nice use of the old school rock there Phil.

Baby Lee
04-20-2006, 12:43 PM
slinging gyros
When snapping gyros reach middle-age!!

cdcox
04-20-2006, 12:46 PM
When snapping gyros reach middle-age!!

In this case, "slinging" was a verb, not an adjective.

Baby Lee
04-20-2006, 12:47 PM
I remember this one time, I went there and I got fish and chips, and the guy there, when you asked for ketchup, would give you these little plastic cups of ketchup rather than packets. So I got my fish and chips and my plastic cups of ketchup, and I sat down in a nice spot and started eating, and these people came to sit near me, and one of them came over and asked if she could take a chair from my table since I was by myself.

You can't buy memories like that.
OMeffingG!!
The collective wisdom of the Planet has been so sorely and utterly WRONG!!

You are a HORRIBLE story teller.

"So anyways, I thought I could go to the winky-dog and get a winky-dog. Or I could go to the Tandoori hut and get a plate of basmati rice. But I already had grits for breakfast on Tuesday, and that's kind of like rice, and you know, . . . it was good and all, but I might be grained out. But the girl who picks up my rice plate when I'm done his fat cute. Not cute for a fat girl, but cute BECAUSE she's a little fat, if that makes any sense. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, . . . ."

morphius
04-20-2006, 12:53 PM
How to respond...

A) Don't worry Rainman, there are other food courts out there, someday you will find the right one.

B) Denver is IMPODING get out while you can Rainman!!!!

hmmm.

chagrin
04-20-2006, 01:05 PM
How to respond...

A) Don't worry Rainman, there are other food courts out there, someday you will find the right one.

B) Denver is IMPODING get out while you can Rainman!!!!

hmmm.

Wait a minute, my doctor told me I was IMPODING too!

Baby Lee
04-20-2006, 01:07 PM
Wait a minute, my doctor told me I was IMPODING too!
What's with the fancy duds.

Daddy always tol' me, If'n yah gonna BE impotent, yah gotta ACT impotent.

Rain Man
04-20-2006, 01:10 PM
OMeffingG!!
The collective wisdom of the Planet has been so sorely and utterly WRONG!!

You are a HORRIBLE story teller.


I wasn't finished yet.


So anyway, she takes my chair, and she picks it, and WHAM! She nails the security guard with it. He goes out like a light. Then all of a sudden she and her friends are pulling out Uzis and Glocks and Haagendaszes, and they announce that it's a heist. It turns out that there's a bank next door, and they think that they can blast through the food court wall directly into the vault...

Baby Lee
04-20-2006, 01:13 PM
I wasn't finished yet.


So anyway, she takes my chair, and she picks it, and WHAM! She nails the security guard with it. He goes out like a light. Then all of a sudden she and her friends are pulling out Uzis and Glocks and Haagendaszes, and they announce that it's a heist. It turns out that there's a bank next door, and they think that they can blast through the food court wall directly into the vault...
FFWD to the lesbian make-out scene, but leave out the Gyro guy's attempts at integration into that scene.

Rain Man
04-20-2006, 01:14 PM
FFWD to the lesbian make-out scene, but leave out the Gyro guy's attempts at integration into that scene.

Rats. I've told this story already?