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ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 04:13 PM
Alright everybody… time to come clean about something that you've done at work that's against the work rules. Something that you got away with and never got caught. It doesn't have to be on your current job. If so....so what. Don’t worry we won’t tell, you’re among friends.

I’ll start….long long time ago. A group of us hired a stripper for a co-worker’s birthday. She came to work and stripped down to everything except her g-string. Apparently, I was too horny to care about the work rules. About 12 people witnessed it and we got away with it. Whew, I feel better. Your turn.

JBucc
04-27-2006, 04:14 PM
I took a post it note from my boss' desk when he wasn't looking. It was exhilerating.

Rain Man
04-27-2006, 04:14 PM
I use the Internet for personal purposes.

SPchief
04-27-2006, 04:14 PM
This one time, I left a whole 5 minutes early.

chagrin
04-27-2006, 04:15 PM
I use the Internet for personal purposes.

ROFL

I'll bet the boss would be pissed

ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 04:15 PM
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

SPchief
04-27-2006, 04:16 PM
you asked.

jspchief
04-27-2006, 04:16 PM
I used to leave my crew on jobsites and go golfing. I also used to moonlight business that should have gone to my employer.

Rain Man
04-27-2006, 04:16 PM
ROFL

I'll bet the boss would be pissed

I beat myself up about it a lot. One time, I threatened to dock myself some pay, but it didn't do any good.

chagrin
04-27-2006, 04:17 PM
I beat myself up about it a lot. One time, I threatened to dock myself some pay, but it didn't do any good.

Reduce the allowable lunch time to 2 hours, maybe that will help?

RedNFeisty
04-27-2006, 04:17 PM
lol...I worked at a Subway long ago in Dallas, one Saturday I was the only employee to show for work so I locked the doors around 4 pm, Clint and I banged in the back several times and then I left for the night.

Donger
04-27-2006, 04:18 PM
I can't think of anything; I'm an exemplary employee.

I did once have sex in my office, but I don't know if that was against the rules.

ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 04:19 PM
lol...I worked at a Subway long ago in Dallas, I was the only employee to show for work so I locked the doors around 4 pm, Clint and I banged in the back several times and then I left for the night.


Now that's what I'm talking about. :drool:

jspchief
04-27-2006, 04:19 PM
I also worked at a gas station where I would sit and scratch lottery tickets untl I won enough to pay the register back. Some nights I would go through several hundred tickets.

ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 04:20 PM
I can't think of anything; I'm an exemplary employee.

I did once have sex in my office, but I don't know if that was against the rules.

Is your name George Costanza?

Donger
04-27-2006, 04:21 PM
Is your name George Costanza?

No.

ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 04:21 PM
I also worked at a gas station where I would sit and scratch lottery tickets untl I won enough to pay the register back. Some nights I would go through several hundred tickets.

ROFL Now that's a foolproof plan.

ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 04:23 PM
No.


George hit it with the cleaning lady and claimed he didn't know it was against the rules.

Donger
04-27-2006, 04:24 PM
George hit it with the cleaning lady and claimed he didn't know it was against the rules.

Okay.

Rain Man
04-27-2006, 04:24 PM
In my last job before starting my own company, I was the senior employee. One of the partners who was absolutely disgusted with all of the other partners would get out of the partner meetings, take me to lunch, and tell me everything that was being said. I would then share with her what my psycho ex-boss was telling the employees behind the other partners' backs.

It was pretty eye-opening, especially since it exposed to both of us what my psycho ex-boss was doing behind the backs of both the partners and employees. I really, really, really hate that guy.

JBucc
04-27-2006, 04:24 PM
It wasn't my work but I did crap in a urinal at a Burger King my friend worked at.

Rain Man
04-27-2006, 04:25 PM
I also worked at a gas station where I would sit and scratch lottery tickets untl I won enough to pay the register back. Some nights I would go through several hundred tickets.

Seems to me that that was a risky move from a math perspective.

jspchief
04-27-2006, 04:26 PM
ROFL Now that's a foolproof plan.Well there was some method to the madness, but there was still risk.

Every roll had three $50 winners guaranteed. So if the roll got down to 150 tickets, and no $50 winners had been claimed, there was a good chance that I could scratch them all and break even at the very worst. The only time it could burn me would be if someone bought the ticket, but hadn't returned it. So I'd scratch a few at a time until I got a big winner. I only got burnt once that I remember.

Rooster
04-27-2006, 04:27 PM
I also worked at a gas station where I would sit and scratch lottery tickets untl I won enough to pay the register back. Some nights I would go through several hundred tickets.


I would do a similar scam when I worked at a gas station. We rented movies that rang up exactly $2 on week days and $3 on weekends. Instead of ringing them in on movies I would ring them in on lottery tickets. I would keep a tally next to the register. Some nights I would scratch 50 to 60 tickets or I would just play Keno. Those were the days. :)

Baby Lee
04-27-2006, 04:28 PM
George hit it with the cleaning lady and claimed he didn't know it was against the rules.
"WAS THAT WRONG? Because believe me, if anyone had said that kind of thing was frowned upon. . ."

Phobia
04-27-2006, 04:29 PM
One time I artificially inflated this guy's post count. It was very, very funny and very wild and crazy on my part. I could have been fired or something.

ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 04:30 PM
It wasn't my work but I did crap in a urinal at a Burger King my friend worked at.

ROFL :clap:

Nzoner
04-27-2006, 04:31 PM
I was a cook at a local steakhouse and one evening a group of faculty at high school had a dinner meeting there.The vice principal who had given me numerous grief over the years was there and I did up a special steak for him by dragging it through the grease on the floor that would accumulate under the grill.

Baby Lee
04-27-2006, 04:35 PM
I was a cook at a local steakhouse and one evening a group of faculty at high school had a dinner meeting there.The vice principal who had given me numerous grief over the years was there and I did up a special steak for him by dragging it through the grease on the floor that would accumulate under the grill.
Last 4th of July, our cookout was centerpieced by a healthy collection of 12 oz Ribeyes that had 'fallen on the floor' at the Applebees where my buddy works.

epitome1170
04-27-2006, 04:36 PM
During high school I worked in a grocery store. On Sundays the bosses would be gone, so in the mornings after a long night I would grab some food (beef jerkey, soda, etc) and go up to a crawl space above the ceiling tiles and watch football on a handheld tv... or after football season just sleep. Those were good times, well until the nap lasts a little long and you end up getting a few hours overtime and then you have to lie about why.

ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 04:38 PM
I was a cook at a local steakhouse and one evening a group of faculty at high school had a dinner meeting there.The vice principal who had given me numerous grief over the years was there and I did up a special steak for him by dragging it through the grease on the floor that would accumulate under the grill.

I knew it.....NEVER send the meal back to the kitchen for ANY reason.

jspchief
04-27-2006, 04:38 PM
During high school I worked in a grocery store. On Sundays the bosses would be gone, so in the mornings after a long night I would grab some food (beef jerkey, soda, etc) and go up to a crawl space above the ceiling tiles and watch football on a handheld tv... or after football season just sleep. Those were good times, well until the nap lasts a little long and you end up getting a few hours overtime and then you have to lie about why.When I was 14 I worked at a grocery store and on Friday and Saturday nights I'd sit back in the milk cooler and drink beer and wine coolers. One of the other kids got fired for drinking a chocolate milk back there.

HemiEd
04-27-2006, 04:40 PM
I used the postage meter once when I did not have a stamp.

epitome1170
04-27-2006, 04:41 PM
When I was 14 I worked at a grocery store and on Friday and Saturday nights I'd sit back in the milk cooler and drink beer and wine coolers. One of the other kids got fired for drinking a chocolate milk back there.

ROFL

Yeah, I have done that too. I just laughed at the kids that got caught... idiots

Phobia
04-27-2006, 04:46 PM
When I was 14 I worked at a grocery store and on Friday and Saturday nights I'd sit back in the milk cooler and drink beer and wine coolers. One of the other kids got fired for drinking a chocolate milk back there.

I would never dream of doing such a thing.

I had an ulcer at 16 due to all the mountain dew I downed when I worked at a grocery store. I swear I was drinking a gallon or two per shift.

epitome1170
04-27-2006, 04:50 PM
I would never dream of doing such a thing.

I had an ulcer at 16 due to all the mountain dew I downed when I worked at a grocery store. I swear I was drinking a gallon or two per shift.

Those days were great, during break it was a 2 liter of dew and a box of little debbies. Thankfully, athletics kept the weight off, would never think of doing it now.

blueballs
04-27-2006, 04:52 PM
after seeking forgiveness
bragging now would
just be wrong

Count Alex's Losses
04-27-2006, 04:54 PM
When I worked at Kroger's the worst thing I ever did was take a little longer lunch break. I was so well behaved it was unbelievable. I also learned that cocks can grow to be 12 inches during that job, as a result of an overheard conversation in the break room.

In another job I had, I had sex in the office.

ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 04:55 PM
after seeking forgiveness
bragging now would
just be wrong

Oh come on.....clean your soul for the crowd.

ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 04:55 PM
In another job I had, I had sex in the office.



:shake: You're a virgin buddy.

Count Alex's Losses
04-27-2006, 05:05 PM
:shake: You're a virgin buddy.

Yes. It was self sex.

ENDelt260
04-27-2006, 05:07 PM
Yes. It was self sex.
Oh, well heck. I've masturbated at work plenty of times.

Count Alex's Losses
04-27-2006, 05:09 PM
Oh, well heck. I've masturbated at work plenty of times.

That's the story of thing I'm talking about. I'm just not into rule-breaking. My anti-perspirant started breaking down the second my break went over 15 minutes.

Bwana
04-27-2006, 05:10 PM
Seeing how I am as pure as the wind driven snow, I would never think of doing anything out of line at work. errr, with the exception of a few incidents when I was bartending. :)

Count Alex's Losses
04-27-2006, 05:12 PM
According to my former superiors, the worst thing I ever did at work was dive into the archives to get a photograph of one my co-workers. I then posted it on the internet and proclaimed my love for her. They found out and I was fired. Luckily, the firing coincided with the end of the semester.

Clint in Wichita
04-27-2006, 05:16 PM
lol...I worked at a Subway long ago in Dallas, one Saturday I was the only employee to show for work so I locked the doors around 4 pm, Clint and I banged in the back several times and then I left for the night.


You wanted a 12 inch club, I wanted a tuna round. End of story.

chiefsfaninNC
04-27-2006, 05:18 PM
I was a Marine Security guard for 3 years. One night I picked up a girl in a bar. I took her back to the embassy, took her into the Ambassador's office, and did her on his couch. After I was finished took her down to post one and relieved the Marine on duty who then took her back up there and did her on his desk while I watched the cameras (none of which were in the Ambassador's office). If we had got caught I would be typing from Leavenworth right now.

ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 05:18 PM
Seeing how I am as pure as the wind driven snow, I would never think of doing anything out of line at work. errr, with the exception of a few incidents when I was bartending. :)

Okay...bartender stories are real good....come on.

ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 05:20 PM
I was a Marine Security guard for 3 years. One night I picked up a girl in a bar. I took her back to the embassy, took her into the Ambassador's office, and did her on his couch. After I was finished took her down to post one and relieved the Marine on duty who then took her back up there and did her on his desk while I watched the cameras (none of which were in the Ambassador's office). If we had got caught I would be typing from Leavenworth right now.

Why? So you don't have the same previlages as the president(Clinton)? Ooops did I just say that?

Baby Lee
04-27-2006, 05:21 PM
You wanted a 12 inch club, I wanted a tuna round. End of story.
One vienna suasage and one mondo fish taco coming up.

Rain Man
04-27-2006, 05:22 PM
According to my former superiors, the worst thing I ever did at work was dive into the archives to get a photograph of one my co-workers. I then posted it on the internet and proclaimed my love for her. They found out and I was fired. Luckily, the firing coincided with the end of the semester.

Link?

chiefsfaninNC
04-27-2006, 05:22 PM
Why? So you don't have the same previlages as the president(Clinton)? Ooops did I just say that?


Damn I am older than that. It was under George W's father. No way I would have served under Slick Willy.

Clint in Wichita
04-27-2006, 05:24 PM
One vienna suasage and one mondo fish taco coming up.


For the longest time after that day, I thought cottage cheese was a standard Subway topping.

Count Alex's Losses
04-27-2006, 05:27 PM
Link?

The evidence is long gone.

ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 05:28 PM
For the longest time after that day, I thought cottage cheese was a standard Subway topping.

Oh damn. I hope RednFiesty is logged out.

Bwana
04-27-2006, 05:28 PM
For the longest time after that day, I thought cottage cheese was a standard Subway topping.

Heh! I would sleep with one eye open tonight after that dig. ROFL

Clint in Wichita
04-27-2006, 05:30 PM
Heh! I would sleep with one eye open tonight after that dig. ROFL


She's heard worse, and dished out much worse, too.

Baby Lee
04-27-2006, 05:40 PM
For the longest time after that day, I thought cottage cheese was a standard Subway topping.
ROFL ROFL - I was >< to putting mondo fish taco w/ cheese.

RedNFeisty
04-27-2006, 05:42 PM
Oh damn. I hope RednFiesty is logged out.

Ah, he was just jealous of the Subway club.

Dunit35
04-27-2006, 06:55 PM
It wasn't my job but it was my ex gfs job. One night when no one was in there she gave me a BJ right in front of the windows (on main street) that was awesome.

Rain Man
04-27-2006, 07:02 PM
The evidence is long gone.

The picture is on your hard drive. You know it's on your hard drive.

If not, perhaps we could locate a police sketch artist. I'll bet he could work off of a description.

Count Alex's Losses
04-27-2006, 07:05 PM
The picture is on your hard drive. You know it's on your hard drive.

If not, perhaps we could locate a police sketch artist. I'll bet he could work off of a description.

It used to be on my hard drive. I actually wish I still had it.

I also know her myspace page. Which has her picture. :)

BucEyedPea
04-27-2006, 07:06 PM
I jumped off a bridge into a river after having a business lunch with a prospective client who was male for a $12,000 project!

He challenged when driving back to his corporate headquarters,if you jump off that bridge I'll give you $12,000 in business. I said "It's a deal!"

Since it was a hot summer Monday, and already I had been driving back from a weekend at a lake in NH ( this was in northern Mass) I just happened to have a swimming suit in my trunk.

So I changed into it and jumped....it was scarey as hell and he had to cajole me to still jump while I stood on the ledge holding onto the railing for dear life.
Thing is it didn't look that high until I got out there...but eventually I did it.

I wound up eventually making over a $100k on that account which was a major corporation, the envy of many of my colleagues to nab. It felt cool around them when I got recognition for getting it. :) And NO I did not make this up!

morphius
04-27-2006, 07:21 PM
We had one job with moral so low that we would all go to lunch at 10:30 come back around 1 then play quake/age of empires the rest of the day and then go home early. It was sad, our manager would come over, see what we were doing, laugh and go back to his cube.

The bowling alley I think we did just about everything you could think of to get kicked out of a bowling alley except for have sex. Not that I didn't have the oppertunities/offers, but I was getting all I a boy could need.

ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 07:24 PM
It used to be on my hard drive. I actually wish I still had it.

I also know her myspace page. Which has her picture. :)

I agree with Rainman, I wanna see the pic.

ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 07:26 PM
We had one job with moral so low that we would all go to lunch at 10:30 come back around 1 then play quake/age of empires the rest of the day and then go home early. It was sad, our manager would come over, see what we were doing, laugh and go back to his cube.

The bowling alley I think we did just about everything you could think of to get kicked out of a bowling alley except for have sex. Not that I didn't have the oppertunities/offers, but I was getting all I a boy could need.


That sounds like one with low morals and high morale.

ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 07:27 PM
I jumped off a bridge into a river after having a business lunch with a prospective client who was male for a $12,000 project!

He challenged when driving back to his corporate headquarters,if you jump off that bridge I'll give you $12,000 in business. I said "It's a deal!"

Since it was a hot summer Monday, and already I had been driving back from a weekend at a lake in NH ( this was in northern Mass) I just happened to have a swimming suit in my trunk.

So I changed into it and jumped....it was scarey as hell and he had to cajole me to still jump while I stood on the ledge holding onto the railing for dear life.
Thing is it didn't look that high until I got out there...but eventually I did it.

I wound up eventually making over a $100k on that account which was a major corporation, the envy of many of my colleagues to nab. It felt cool around them when I got recognition for getting it. :) And NO I did not make this up!

:clap: Now that's getting the job done. Okay, so what did you do that you didn't get caught at?

Mr. Laz
04-27-2006, 07:27 PM
Sex,Sleep,Sex ... more Sex


left for a few minutes when i was the only management there (<-- this was the biggest no-no)

morphius
04-27-2006, 07:28 PM
That sounds like one with low morals and high morale.
Hehe, maybe it was a bit of both.

ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 07:29 PM
Sex,Sleep,Sex ... more Sex


left for a few minutes when i was the only management there (<-- this was the biggest no-no)


At least you had more sex than sleep.

BucEyedPea
04-27-2006, 07:30 PM
:clap: Now that's getting the job done. Okay, so what did you do that you didn't get caught at?


That was it. No one knew how I got that account.
Since I was my own boss, there was no one else to hide it from 'cept other colleagues in the biz!

seclark
04-27-2006, 07:33 PM
It wasn't my work but I did crap in a urinal at a Burger King my friend worked at.
did you wipe your ass w/the blow dryer?
sec

Mr. Laz
04-27-2006, 07:35 PM
At least you had more sex than sleep.

i had a terrible habit of nailing the help ... for years. :shake:

ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 07:41 PM
Oh yea...a side issue to the stripper thing. A guy I worked with didn't make it in to watch the birthday stripper. I took a ton of pictures while she danced. I got them developed and showed him about a week later. He was leafing through the pics, he stops and says....hey "I used to date her". Now that was funny.

Talisman
04-27-2006, 07:50 PM
I used to post on here all the time at work until the day the boss called me into his office and told me to close the door. He plopped a 100 page report on his desk of my internet useage over the previous 4 weeks. He flipped through it and all I could see was www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread... over and over again.

He also showed me a graph of website hits by work hour and it realllllly spiked in the 4:00 - 5:00 pm hour. It was obvious that once it hit 4:00 or so, I was done working for the day.

All I could think was...

"Only 100 pages?"

ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 07:56 PM
I used to post on here all the time at work until the day the boss called me into his office and told me to close the door. He plopped a 100 page report on his desk of my internet useage over the previous 4 weeks. He flipped through it and all I could see was www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread... over and over again.

He also showed me a graph of website hits by work hour and it realllllly spiked in the 4:00 - 5:00 pm hour. It was obvious that once it hit 4:00 or so, I was done working for the day.

All I could think was...

"Only 100 pages?"

Don't you just hate that when the boss says " close the door". Man that sucks.

Mr. Laz
04-27-2006, 08:04 PM
Don't you just hate that when the boss says " close the door". Man that sucks.
the weight hits your stomach like a ton ... the quieter the tone of his voice, the worse it is.

heaven forbid there is a "witness" in the room with him


double heaven forbid you don't recognize the witness

ChiefButthurt
04-27-2006, 08:07 PM
the weight hits your stomach like a ton ... the quieter the tone of his voice, the worse it is.

heaven forbid there is a "witness" in the room with him


double heaven forbid you don't recognize the witness

Yea the witness is some ass from Human Resources OR in your case some SOB from the IT department.

Ari Chi3fs
04-27-2006, 08:53 PM
Bartending down in westport at Sanford and Sons... I had brought a dugout in, and smoked pot all night through a pipe that resembled a cigarette.

People were all looking around for someone passing a joint. It owned.

Skip Towne
04-27-2006, 08:58 PM
One time Endelt went to San Diego while he was on call at work.

ChiefButthurt
04-28-2006, 06:47 AM
One time Endelt went to San Diego while he was on call at work.

He must have his own jet. Those IT guys are rich.

joesomebody
04-28-2006, 08:19 AM
We made a slip in slide in the hallway of the top floor of our quarters when I was stationed in Japan.

greg63
04-28-2006, 08:26 AM
I stole company pens and paper clips.


...I feel so dirty. :p

pak1983
04-28-2006, 08:45 AM
Damn I am older than that. It was under George W's father. No way I would have served under Slick Willy.

Yeah since he was so horrible. Im sure you would have much rather been in baghdad at this point in time to eh?

Phobia
04-28-2006, 08:53 AM
I used to post on here all the time at work until the day the boss called me into his office and told me to close the door. He plopped a 100 page report on his desk of my internet useage over the previous 4 weeks. He flipped through it and all I could see was www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread... over and over again.

He also showed me a graph of website hits by work hour and it realllllly spiked in the 4:00 - 5:00 pm hour. It was obvious that once it hit 4:00 or so, I was done working for the day.

All I could think was...

"Only 100 pages?"
Don't you think it's about time your boss found out about Warpaint? Think what an ambassador you could be... You're making him a better, more informed Chiefs fan. Congratulations for that. I think you deserve a raise.

Skip Towne
04-28-2006, 08:57 AM
Don't you think it's about time your boss found out about Warpaint? Think what an ambassador you could be... You're making him a better, more informed Chiefs fan. Congratulations for that. I think you deserve a raise.
Warpaint? Never heard of it. Got a link?

Phobia
04-28-2006, 09:00 AM
You're a bad, bad man, Skip.