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CosmicPal
04-27-2006, 06:20 PM
I swear, I don't know what it is man....

I've been working out now for the past three weeks. Yay. I had no idea how much I've ignored my body the past few years with the heavy partying...damn. I am way out of shape, man.

Enough of that though....So, I'm at the gym (YMCA) today. I play basketball for a half hour and then I go into the room with the stationary machines and start working out my glorious legs. Anyways, I'm doing knee presses when I look up and this gal is smiling at me while she's working out. Usually this is a good thing. But, not for me. Nope. Turns out she's like old enough to be my mother. She's gotta be sixty some years old!

Well, I smile back. You know- one of those polite returns just to let them know you are a kind person and that you appreciate their gesture, but that that's as far as it's going to go.

I move to another machine, and she grabs the machine next to mine! I then go to another machine and she grabs the machine next to me again! Holy grandmother of gawd I'm being stalked by Maude!

So, I'm thinking to myself, "Could it just be a freakin' coincidence that she's wanting to use those particular machines?" I decide the best way to confirm this is to go into another room where the bikes are and start pedaling on a stationary bike. Well, I'm sitting there on my bike and watching the TV when I look up and see the old lady using the step machine behind me! That was it! I got up, when to the locker room and changed and went home.

:shake:

listopencil
04-27-2006, 06:21 PM
Just hit it and get it over with.

Rain Man
04-27-2006, 06:21 PM
Maybe she's not a real woman. Maybe she's Death.

Did she have a scythe?

Sully
04-27-2006, 06:23 PM
Dear Penthouse......

CosmicPal
04-27-2006, 06:23 PM
Maybe she's not a real woman. Maybe she's Death.

Did she have a scythe?

Don't all women show themselves as Death at one time or another?

ENDelt260
04-27-2006, 06:24 PM
See? Nothing good can come from working out. I suggest returning to bars and pool halls.

4th and Long
04-27-2006, 06:24 PM
Dear Penthouse......
AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

CosmicPal
04-27-2006, 06:24 PM
Dear Penthouse......

Ugggh....no way!

The last thing I want is to have to wake up the next morning to meet her Bingo group. However, eating out would be cheap since she could get us the senior discounts every where we went.

listopencil
04-27-2006, 06:25 PM
Maybe she's not a real woman. Maybe she's Death.

Did she have a scythe?



I heard that Death uses a weed whacker now. May not be true, but that's the word on the street.

Sully
04-27-2006, 06:26 PM
Ugggh....no way!

The last thing I want is to have to wake up the next morning to meet her Bingo group. However, eating her out would be cheap since she could get us the senior discounts every where we went.

Dude...
cmon.

4th and Long
04-27-2006, 06:28 PM
I heard that Death uses a weed whacker now. May not be true, but that's the word on the street.
With today's gas prices? No way!

And don't even try and tell me that Death has an extension cord THAT long!

Dunit35
04-27-2006, 06:28 PM
Atleast you wouldn't have to worry about her having her period.

Rain Man
04-27-2006, 06:30 PM
I heard that Death uses a weed whacker now. May not be true, but that's the word on the street.

Technology marches on. If you don't move with it, pretty soon people are living to 100.

Bwana
04-27-2006, 06:34 PM
Just hit it and get it over with.

Exactly...hehehe ROFL

hypersensitiveZO6
04-27-2006, 06:40 PM
Just hit it and get it over with.


she's doing some setups.......................I won't say it.

jspchief
04-27-2006, 06:40 PM
Joking aside, maybe she's relatively new to the gym and was just trying to pick up on your workout regimen.

Talisman
04-27-2006, 06:45 PM
Maybe you shouldn't have worn that T-shirt...

http://currentcatalog.com/images/products/200880.jpg

hypersensitiveZO6
04-27-2006, 06:48 PM
ROFL

Sully
04-27-2006, 07:02 PM
Joking aside, maybe she's relatively new to the gym and was just trying to pick up on your workout regimen.

That's actually pretty funny to think about.
I can see her notebook.

Ex #1: 5 minutes on 2nd bike from the left
Ex#2: 5 minutes on 5th bke from the left
Ex #3: 5 minutes on the bike in the other room.

seclark
04-27-2006, 07:15 PM
Joking aside, maybe she's relatively new to the gym and was just trying to pick up on your workout regimen.
or, maybe she just wants to work out next to someone who makes her feel better about herself.
sec

badgirl
04-27-2006, 08:59 PM
I just read this thread and I find it quiet funny, you better watch your back upon leaving the gym, she may rape you or abduct you or something, and you may end up tied to her bed somewhere in the woods.

If we don't hear from you for a while we will asume this is the case.

blueballs
04-27-2006, 09:37 PM
think of your
mother giving
head

Ari Chi3fs
04-27-2006, 10:14 PM
If she has dentures, she could take them out and you two could party.

Fish
04-27-2006, 10:16 PM
Dude.... you can't get her pregnant..........

Rausch
04-27-2006, 11:08 PM
Send her my way playa'...

KChiefsQT
04-28-2006, 02:31 AM
Maybe she's not a real woman. Maybe she's Death.

Did she have a scythe?
you have a job to do "I know it's hard out here for a pimp" ... but that shouldn't distract you from roundin up the hoes and setting the guys up. I'm this [ ] close to firing you and starting my own brothel. I'll get the fellow planeteers laid while you shoot the shit when there's work to be done. :shake: Signed, Madam

KChiefsQT
04-28-2006, 02:32 AM
I just read this thread and I find it quiet funny, you better watch your back upon leaving the gym, she may rape you or abduct you or something, and you may end up tied to her bed somewhere in the woods.

If we don't hear from you for a while we will asume this is the case.

:hmmm: Maybe you should join that gym... ya know so she'll take you instead.

badgirl
04-28-2006, 04:18 AM
:hmmm: Maybe you should join that gym... ya know so she'll take you instead.
Hey!! good idea :rolleyes:

Amnorix
04-28-2006, 06:43 AM
You should know by now that you're irresistable to the Denny's Breakfast Club Members.

http://www.nappyhead.co.uk/acatalog/tshirt_granny_magnet.gif

Inspector
04-28-2006, 07:06 AM
Don't knock it until you've tried it.

Earthling
04-28-2006, 08:05 AM
Wow...What a coincidence. My wife just started working out at a gym in that area too!

ExtremeChief
04-28-2006, 08:18 AM
Nanna needs some sugar


http://www.phonesexconnections.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/betty001.jpg

greg63
04-28-2006, 08:23 AM
...Sounds like a Fatal Attraction to me.