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View Full Version : An Open Letter To Mr. Flopnuts' Wife:


Simplex3
05-06-2006, 05:05 PM
Your husband asked that I extoll the virtues of allowing him to post on this board to you. Here goes:

1. Community
What man doesn't want to belong to a group? It will be poker night, a bowling league, something. This outlet just makes sense for you. The low cost and zero travel time mean more money for you to buy pillows and candlesticks and more time for him to dust under them.

2. Release
Men generate a great deal of testosterone which can lead toward hostility. This behavior will manifest itself in lifelong intimacy issues if not released in a healthy manner. What better place for him to get calling someone a dumb whore out of his system than here? You certainly don't want that at your house.

3. Bonding
Men need to bond. This type of bonding frequently happens at nudie bars. Nudie bars cost money. They also have naked women (I know, who knew?). Now we all know the phrase "nobody cares where you get your appetite as long as you come home to eat", but we here at the Planet also have a solution for this. The Girlie thread is perfect. He doesn't have to tip the girls and nobody has to worry about what he may or may not catch while there.

4. Maturity
Every man needs entertainment. Generally we prefer the juvenile kind. If he's allowed to vent that behavior on random strangers over the Internet it will result in fewer Dutch Ovens in bed, a lowering in the frequency of wedgies, and many other positive benefits. You may actually find yourself feeling like a wife instead of a mother.

5. Advice
Every man turns to others for advice in life situations. If he has real friends he's liable to actually listen to the stupid crap they'll tell him. The more he's here the fewer real friends he'll have. Since it's common knowledge that all advice given on the Planet is bulls**t and may lead to coughing, fever, anal discharge, elevated blood pressure, and in rare circumstances death, he won't feel like actually acting on any of the stupid ideas he hears.

In conclusion,
Can Mr. Flopnuts come out and play?

Mr. Flopnuts
05-06-2006, 05:12 PM
ROFL................that is priceless. She is SOOOOOOO gonna love you now. I think you just successfully took my half of the Asshole of the Year award. So I thank you, I'm probably gettin butt sex tonight.

SLAG
05-06-2006, 05:22 PM
ROFL................that is priceless. She is SOOOOOOO gonna love you now. I think you just successfully took my half of the Asshole of the Year award. So I thank you, I'm probably gettin butt sex tonight.


Hmm.. Is she strapping it on or is there another reason you are called flopnuts

Sure-Oz
05-06-2006, 05:36 PM
Donkey Punch!

Mr. Flopnuts
05-06-2006, 05:58 PM
Hmm.. Is she strapping it on or is there another reason you are called flopnuts


1 point for Mr. Slag

Adept Havelock
05-06-2006, 06:32 PM
Simplex3- Priceless. ROFL ROFL

Slag02- Game, set, and match!

Mr. Flopnuts- Lube up, lay back, and try to go to your "happy place". Hopefully, it'll be over soon.

burt
05-06-2006, 06:36 PM
Simplex3- Priceless. ROFL ROFL

Slag02- Game, set, and match!

Mr. Flopnuts- Lube up, lay back, and try to go to your "happy place". Hopefully, it'll be over soon.


The rest of us are hoping it lasts for him..........

milkman
05-06-2006, 07:20 PM
There is no way any woman could argue with the logic in your letter.

Good job.

Mr. Flopnuts
05-06-2006, 09:59 PM
It's been a long day, and my butt is sore. What's everyone up too?

Mr. Flopnuts
05-06-2006, 09:59 PM
:cuss: