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KC Jones
05-25-2006, 11:13 PM
No, not the miller lite commercials. What are some of the rules you've made in your house that are "man" rules? The more offbeat and unusual the better.

I'll start, among one of the rules I've managed to get entrenched is the following:

If the wife pulls out the fragile ancient gold trimmed china that can't go in the dishwasher or the stuff that's too big to fit into the dishwasher to impress our dinner company; then she cleans it. Only exceptions are for Holidays.

Guru
05-25-2006, 11:16 PM
They are not my nic-nacs. You can clean them. Might take her a year though.

2bikemike
05-25-2006, 11:16 PM
I always sleep in our bed. If I snore or if she's pissed at me she has to find other sleeping arrangements. The bed is mine.

KC Jones
05-25-2006, 11:20 PM
My father in law managed to get this one in:

She mows the lawn.

I'm still amazed at that.

DJJasonp
05-25-2006, 11:20 PM
guys who pull out of "guy events" (such as golf, poker night, strip club, etc.) because they cant stand up to their wives or girlfriends.... must be publicly ridiculed until they man-up on a future occasion and earn their way back off of the hot seat.

Also....You drink my last drop of alcohol....you replace....that doesnt mean giving me money for it....that means getting your lazy ass off of the sofa and going to the store the next day and replacing said item(s).

Guru
05-25-2006, 11:21 PM
My father in law managed to get this one in:

She mows the lawn.

I'm still amazed at that.

http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/jawdropper.gif

How did he manage that?

KC Jones
05-25-2006, 11:26 PM
http://smiley.onegreatguy.net/jawdropper.gif

How did he manage that?

He travelled a bit back in the day and she occasionally had to mow the lawn. She was fed up with having an ancient piece of crap heavy lawnmower (he's a total gearhead and can keep anything running). She said, "buy us a nice new self propelled mower and I'll mow the lawn." The words were no sooner out of her mouth than he was taking her to Sears to pick out a mower, she bitched and complained but he never let her back out. I believe she's been doing it about 20+ years now.

greg63
05-25-2006, 11:27 PM
They are not my nic-nacs. You can clean them. Might take her a year though.
:thumb:
I've just adopted a new man rule.

Another is lift the lid when you're done and you won't have to worry about me forgetting to.

greg63
05-25-2006, 11:29 PM
My father in law managed to get this one in:

She mows the lawn.

I'm still amazed at that.

:eek:

Earthling
05-25-2006, 11:30 PM
On Sunday, the TV is mine....all day.

Simplex3
05-25-2006, 11:31 PM
Your problem is the approach. See, you don't "make a rule" to get out of chores. That's for idiots. You simply f**k it up so badly that she won't ever let you touch that thing again. I haven't been allowed to do any laundry in about 8 years, not since I screwed up three or four expensive pieces of clothing. It was worth every penny.

KC Jones
05-25-2006, 11:34 PM
Your problem is the approach. See, you don't "make a rule" to get out of chores. That's for idiots. You simply f**k it up so badly that she won't ever let you touch that thing again. I haven't been allowed to do any laundry in about 8 years, not since I screwed up three or four expensive pieces of clothing. It was worth every penny.

Heh - me too, although it wasn't really my intention. I didn't really even mind doing laundry, but my point of view was - if it can't go in the washer with other clothes of the same color on a regular cycle, then it's your job to keeps it separate from the dirty clothes hamper. Same results in the end.

big nasty kcnut
05-26-2006, 12:12 AM
Ok mine is do not disturb me during the chiefs game.

Simplex3
05-26-2006, 12:22 AM
Ok mine is do not disturb me during the chiefs game.
Yes, but without a woman rules are pretty much BS. No, mother and sisters don't count. Unless you're boning one of them.

greg63
05-26-2006, 12:25 AM
Your problem is the approach. See, you don't "make a rule" to get out of chores. That's for idiots. You simply f**k it up so badly that she won't ever let you touch that thing again. I haven't been allowed to do any laundry in about 8 years, not since I screwed up three or four expensive pieces of clothing. It was worth every penny.


Yup, that's how my dad always did it; I didn't realize it at the time but that was a genius at work.

Guru
05-26-2006, 12:26 AM
:thumb:
I've just adopted a new man rule.

Another is lift the lid when you're done and you won't have to worry about me forgetting to.


Glad I could help.

Simplex3
05-26-2006, 12:27 AM
Yup, that's how my dad always did it; I didn't realize it at the time but that was a genius at work.
I made a huge miscalculation when my wife and I were dating. In an effort to have a date be at my apartment, therefore near my bed, I cooked for her. I did a good job so that she'd be impressed by my cooking manhood. From that point forward she's known I can cook. Huge tactical error.

I tell people at work all the time:

"Never write a memo. At a minimum it proves you know how to write a memo."

Guru
05-26-2006, 12:29 AM
I made a huge miscalculation when my wife and I were dating. In an effort to have a date be at my apartment, therefore near my bed, I cooked for her. I did a good job so that she'd be impressed by my cooking manhood. From that point forward she's known I can cook. Huge tactical error.

I tell people at work all the time:

"Never write a memo. At a minimum it proves you know how to write a memo."

Good move at the time. Bad move over time. :shake:

Simplex3
05-26-2006, 12:31 AM
Good move at the time. Bad move over time. :shake:
Yeah, I didn't even get any that night. It was a total waste.

greg63
05-26-2006, 12:32 AM
I made a huge miscalculation when my wife and I were dating. In an effort to have a date be at my apartment, therefore near my bed, I cooked for her. I did a good job so that she'd be impressed by my cooking manhood. From that point forward she's known I can cook. Huge tactical error.

I tell people at work all the time:

"Never write a memo. At a minimum it proves you know how to write a memo."


Hey, ya know what they; experience is the best teacher. I learn the hard way never storm out of the house after an argument and forget to pick up your set of keys...if you plan on getting back in the house that day, and invest in a comfortable couch.

Guru
05-26-2006, 12:35 AM
Yeah, I didn't even get any that night. It was a total waste.


Now that really sucks. :shake:

luv
05-26-2006, 12:40 AM
If I had a man in the house, I'd make him go downstairs and shoot my neighbor's annoying barking dog.

Simplex3
05-26-2006, 12:41 AM
If I had a man in the house, I'd make him go downstairs and shoot my neighbor's annoying barking dog.
Women can pull triggers, too.

luv
05-26-2006, 12:42 AM
Women can pull triggers, too.
Men can also clean fancy dishes.

Simplex3
05-26-2006, 12:43 AM
Men can also clean fancy dishes.
Not without chipping them we can't.

big nasty kcnut
05-26-2006, 02:21 AM
But i had a girl and she knew sunday was chiefs football day no calling no anything.

Simplex3
05-26-2006, 02:28 AM
But i had a girl and she knew sunday was chiefs football day no calling no anything.
If she isn't over at your place then how the hell is she going to get you beers and fix you meals? Think this stuff through. :shake:

Rooster
05-26-2006, 10:06 AM
My father in law managed to get this one in:

She mows the lawn.

I'm still amazed at that.

:clap: WOW.. That is simply amazing. It is men like that we all must learn from.

jspchief
05-26-2006, 10:10 AM
I'll start, among one of the rules I've managed to get entrenched is the following:

If the wife pulls out the fragile ancient gold trimmed china that can't go in the dishwasher or the stuff that's too big to fit into the dishwasher to impress our dinner company; then she cleans it. Only exceptions are for Holidays.You call that a "real man" rule? That implies that you actually wash dishes at other times. If you were a real man, the type of dish would have no bearing on the fact that she washes the dishes.

keg in kc
05-26-2006, 10:15 AM
Since I live alone, are all my rules 'real man' rules?

Oh wait, I don't have any rules. Nevermind.

keg in kc
05-26-2006, 10:16 AM
If she isn't over at your place then how the hell is she going to get you beers and fix you meals? Think this stuff through. Seriously, how can you get a halftime bj if she's not there. Or a 1st quarter bj. Or a 2nd quarter bj. Or a 3rd quarter bj. Or a 4th quarter bj. Or the obligatory completed pass bj. Or the "that guy made a tackle, get back to it" bj. Or the "look, a beer commercial, time for a hummer" bj.

HarryParatestes
05-26-2006, 10:21 AM
If you're a guy talking to me...your personal anecdotes will not last

longer than 2 minutes. I came here to drink and cut up....not to listen

to your life story. :mad: :cuss: :banghead:

keg in kc
05-26-2006, 10:23 AM
F*ck that.

If you're a guy talking to me...stop.

I'm here to drink, maybe get laid if some poor spunk depository is drunk and desperate enough. So shut the hell up and don't c*ckblock.

Fish
05-26-2006, 10:23 AM
http://img154.imageshack.us/img154/8546/marriage12lo.jpg

CoMoChief
05-26-2006, 10:23 AM
Women can pull triggers, too.


Doenst mean they can aim though. :p

CoMoChief
05-26-2006, 10:29 AM
I need to make a rule regarding something like "on gameday Sundays, I will call you. You will not call me." Last season there were a few times when she wanted to just "talk" during a Chiefs game. Most of the time I would just hang up the phone on her and then we'd get into some sort of argument that I would always win, but at least this rule that I wanna propose would save my breath.

I dont interrupt her during that retarded Desperate Housewives show. That may be because Family Guy is on then but anyways, I do my part, it is now time to do hers IMO.

Iowanian
05-26-2006, 10:32 AM
If its cooked on the Grill, its my job.
If its cooked inside, its not.

jspchief
05-26-2006, 10:32 AM
I need to make a rule regarding something like "on gameday Sundays, I will call you. You will not call me." Last season there were a few times when she wanted to just "talk" during a Chiefs game. Most of the time I would just hang up the phone on her and then we'd get into some sort of argument that I would always win, but at least this rule that I wanna propose would save my breath.

I dont interrupt her during that retarded Desperate Housewives show. That may be because Family Guy is on then but anyways, I do my part, it is now time to do hers IMO.You need to make tha trule clear early. Set the precedent that Chiefs games are not time for conversation.

luv
05-26-2006, 10:37 AM
I need to make a rule regarding something like "on gameday Sundays, I will call you. You will not call me." Last season there were a few times when she wanted to just "talk" during a Chiefs game. Most of the time I would just hang up the phone on her and then we'd get into some sort of argument that I would always win, but at least this rule that I wanna propose would save my breath.

I dont interrupt her during that retarded Desperate Housewives show. That may be because Family Guy is on then but anyways, I do my part, it is now time to do hers IMO.
How about having her over with the stipulation she has to watch the game.

Inspector
05-26-2006, 10:38 AM
Your problem is the approach. See, you don't "make a rule" to get out of chores. That's for idiots. You simply f**k it up so badly that she won't ever let you touch that thing again. I haven't been allowed to do any laundry in about 8 years, not since I screwed up three or four expensive pieces of clothing. It was worth every penny.

Oh, the details of my plan have been leaked.

I did this very thing many, many years ago. I've never been allowed to do laundry since. She really loved that sweater.

You are obviously a highly intelligent person.

luv
05-26-2006, 10:39 AM
Doenst mean they can aim though. :p
I've held a handgun once in my life. Never shot one. You're damned right I can't aim. Now get over here and shoot the dog!

keg in kc
05-26-2006, 10:39 AM
How about having her over with the stipulation she has to watch the game.What in the holy hell are you doing out of bed already, young lady?

luv
05-26-2006, 10:42 AM
What in the holy hell are you doing out of bed already, young lady?
My boss called. She's on vacation starting today, which puts me in charge. They are having a problem in the department I used to be over. That assistant has to go in early. She said that the production manager (my boss' boss) wants me there with my "expertice". I don't have a ****ing clue about the job that they're doing there now, because we didn't do that while I was over that department. I told her I wouldn't have a clue what was going on, but that I'd be there. Hell, I'm hourly, and it would be another hour of OT.

Long story short: My boss called, and I couldn't get back to sleep.

Inspector
05-26-2006, 10:45 AM
OK, in all honesty, my man rule is simply do what I'm told.

I've been married a long time. It's conditioning. It happens over time.

I gave up years ago. The laundry thing was my only real victory.

I'm getting pretty disgusted with myself now.

keg in kc
05-26-2006, 10:45 AM
Damn, that sucks.

You know what else sucks. I wish I hadn't quoted you in my post, because then I would've been able to say "what? did you think I was talking to you? I said "young" and "lady"...

Damn, another wasted opportunity.

luv
05-26-2006, 10:48 AM
Here's a rule I like. I don't know if you might want to consider it a man rule though. Outside domestic chores (mowing the yard, filling the car up with gas, taking out the trash) are man chores, while inside domestic chores (cooking, cleaning, laundry) are woman chores.

luv
05-26-2006, 10:49 AM
Damn, that sucks.

You know what else sucks. I wish I hadn't quoted you in my post, because then I would've been able to say "what? did you think I was talking to you? I said "young" and "lady"...

Damn, another wasted opportunity.
You're slipping.

keg in kc
05-26-2006, 10:52 AM
You're slipping.Technically speaking, I've slipped. And it only gets worse from here. F*cking old age.

keg in kc
05-26-2006, 10:53 AM
Here's a rule I like. I don't know if you might want to consider it a man rule though. Outside domestic chores (mowing the yard, filling the car up with gas, taking out the trash) are man chores, while inside domestic chores (cooking, cleaning, laundry) are woman chores.Here's a rule I like: if something needs doing, inside or out, do it, whether your a man or a woman. And if you do it together, it might even go twice as fast.

'course, I've never been much for "domestication" or gender roles. I'm more into independent types.

luv
05-26-2006, 10:56 AM
Here's a rule I like: if something needs doing, inside or out, do it, whether your a man or a woman. And if you do it together, it might even go twice as fast.

'course, I've never been much for "domestication" or gender roles. I'm more into independent types.
I hate mowing, having to stop at the gas station, and taking out the trash. I don't really mind doing the inside stuff, as long as you (generally speaking) don't expect everything to be spotless all the time. I slack on vacuuming and dusting, but it does get done.

keg in kc
05-26-2006, 10:59 AM
I hate mowing, having to stop at the gas station, and taking out the trash. Mowing I can understand, but the gas station and taking out trash? Hell, as far as I'm concerned, stuff like that that only takes 5 minutes you do just to get it over with. And, seriously, if you're driving your own car, uh, you probably ought to put your own gas in it.

Now, doing dishes. That's a pain in the ass.

Fish
05-26-2006, 11:01 AM
I hate mowing, having to stop at the gas station, and taking out the trash. I don't really mind doing the inside stuff, as long as you (generally speaking) don't expect everything to be spotless all the time. I slack on vacuuming and dusting, but it does get done.

What is this "dusting" that you speak of?

Nzoner
05-26-2006, 11:02 AM
OK, in all honesty, my man rule is simply do what I'm told.

I've been married a long time. It's conditioning. It happens over time.

I gave up years ago. The laundry thing was my only real victory.

I'm getting pretty disgusted with myself now.


Quitter!

Even after 20 years of marriage I'm still as stubborn as ever,as Tom Petty says,I Won't Back Down

keg in kc
05-26-2006, 11:04 AM
What is this "dusting" that you speak of?It's what I do about twice a year when I notice a nimbus of something similar to snow on my furniture.

CoMoChief
05-26-2006, 11:11 AM
How about having her over with the stipulation she has to watch the game.


Ummmmmmmmmmmmm, no thanks. Then shell wanna know....whos that with the ball, whats he trying to do, how many points do we score if we do this yadda yadda yadda. No thanks, I dont want to explain to her the concept of the game while I am watching it. I was already nice enough to take her to the Pats v. Chiefs MNF game at Arrowhead a couple seasons ago as opposed to one of my long time friends only to hear her complain that Arrowhead Stadium is too loud and that I needed to stop yelling in her ear. That is the VERY last time I'll ever take her to a Chiefs game. And yes, it was her first Chiefs game ever.

Kclee
05-26-2006, 11:12 AM
My father in law managed to get this one in:

She mows the lawn.

I'm still amazed at that.

My wife mows way more than me. She also only has to work 3 days a week since she works 12hr shifts so she usually has way more time than me. I think she kind of likes it. She gets up at 5 am to run every morning so I think she thinks of it as just another exercise. Plus she can get a tan. I certainly don't complain. Oh, this all didn't start until I bought one of the self propelled mowers that start with a key instead of pulling the rope, just FYI.

keg in kc
05-26-2006, 11:12 AM
I've always fantasized about having a girlfriend who was a football fan. My ex-wife tried to be, but it wasn't very convincing.

luv
05-26-2006, 11:15 AM
Ummmmmmmmmmmmm, no thanks. Then shell wanna know....whos that with the ball, whats he trying to do, how many points do we score if we do this yadda yadda yadda. No thanks, I dont want to explain to her the concept of the game while I am watching it. I was already nice enough to take her to the Pats v. Chiefs MNF game at Arrowhead a couple seasons ago as opposed to one of my long time friends only to hear her complain that Arrowhead Stadium is too loud and that I needed to stop yelling in her ear. That is the VERY last time I'll ever take her to a Chiefs game. And yes, it was her first Chiefs game ever.
If she's asking questions, that shows that she's learning. If she has any brains, then the info will stick. Might take a few games of you being annoyed, but you could brag to your friends that your girl likes to watch football.

stumppy
05-26-2006, 11:20 AM
Here's a rule I like. I don't know if you might want to consider it a man rule though. Outside domestic chores (mowing the yard, filling the car up with gas, taking out the trash) are man chores, while inside domestic chores (cooking, cleaning, laundry) are woman chores.


Bingo. Nothing wrong with that arrangement.

KCTitus
05-26-2006, 11:29 AM
guys who pull out of "guy events" (such as golf, poker night, strip club, etc.) because they cant stand up to their wives or girlfriends.... must be publicly ridiculed until they man-up on a future occasion and earn their way back off of the hot seat.

I need a ruling on this one...what if said object of ridicule willingly accepts his 'nancy' status? Is that revocation of Man status altogether?

Inspector
05-26-2006, 11:30 AM
Quitter!

Even after 20 years of marriage I'm still as stubborn as ever,as Tom Petty says,I Won't Back Down

Yes, I admit it.

I'm weak. Whipped.

I've seen it before though. The one who controls the vagina, controls the house.

KCTitus
05-26-2006, 11:36 AM
Yes, I admit it.

I'm weak. Whipped.

I've seen it before though. The one who controls the vagina, controls the house.

Holy Crap...get control of it then, cause that's just pathetic. To get beat down to the point of 'Yes Dear'ing everything is just a shell of a man.

Inspector
05-26-2006, 11:45 AM
Holy Crap...get control of it then, cause that's just pathetic. To get beat down to the point of 'Yes Dear'ing everything is just a shell of a man.

I'm turning over a new leaf. You guys are my inspiration.

I'll show her. Just wait until she..............................







Shhh, gotta go. Need to take out the trash...

KCTitus
05-26-2006, 11:47 AM
I'm turning over a new leaf. You guys are my inspiration.

I'll show her. Just wait until she..............................







Shhh, gotta go. Need to take out the trash...

ROFL

Baby steps, big guy...

keg in kc
05-26-2006, 03:09 PM
Real men don't take baby steps.

KC Jones
05-26-2006, 08:00 PM
Holy Crap...get control of it then, cause that's just pathetic. To get beat down to the point of 'Yes Dear'ing everything is just a shell of a man.

At my wedding reception, my best man's dad pulled me aside. His words of wisdom were:

"Son, there's 3 things you have to remember to have a happy marriage:

1) Yes dear.
2) Whatever you say dear.
3) I'll get right on that honey."

:D

KC Jones
05-26-2006, 08:08 PM
Here's a rule I like: if something needs doing, inside or out, do it, whether your a man or a woman. And if you do it together, it might even go twice as fast.

'course, I've never been much for "domestication" or gender roles. I'm more into independent types.

Not entirely related but...

I was actually raised doing a lot of traditionally female chores. My mother got cancer when I was 7, and died when I was 13. She had me help her with all kinds of stuff. I think part of it was just spending extra time with me, but part of it was making sure I could take care of myself. I was amazed when I got to college, and other guys had no clue how to iron their shirts, do laundry, cook, etc. To this day, I wont let my wife iron my clothes because she sucks at it. She sucked at cooking too, but she's become quite the gormet in recent years.

sedated
05-26-2006, 08:59 PM
In an effort to have a date be at my apartment, therefore near my bed, I cooked for her. I did a good job so that she'd be impressed by my cooking manhood. From that point forward she's known I can cook. Huge tactical error.



I don't mind cooking because I like eating edible food.

2bikemike
05-27-2006, 05:51 PM
While I was out buying a new pair of sunglasses last night. I saw this kid of about 16 giving his dad a ration of chit for carrying his wifes purse. My wife and I just kind of laughed. Because she knows that there is no way in hell that I am handling her purse. No ifs and or buts. Thats the rule.

Skip Towne
05-27-2006, 06:02 PM
Yes, I admit it.

I'm weak. Whipped.

I've seen it before though. The one who controls the vagina, controls the house.
You need to perfect your short right to the jaw.

R&GHomer
05-27-2006, 07:37 PM
My man rule is simple. I don't do jack shite on Chiefs game day. No running to the store, no malls, nada.

Nzoner
05-27-2006, 07:57 PM
My man rule is simple. I don't do jack shite on Chiefs game day. No running to the store, no malls, nada.

I take my rule one step further as it includes ANY NFL game,and yes I'm thanking the football gods for adding Thursday & Saurday games this season.

listopencil
05-27-2006, 08:49 PM
Rule #1- Do not nag me. If I didn't do it when you asked nicely, being a bitch isn't going to get it done either.

listopencil
05-27-2006, 08:51 PM
Rule #2) Do not allow me to see you even partially unclothed unless you are ready to have sex that night. Not a stray nipple nor a flash of panties unless you are willing to back it up.

'Hamas' Jenkins
05-27-2006, 08:53 PM
The first time anyone visits, they are required to watch various scenes from Action Jackson.

Barbecue, huh?? How do you like your ribs??

http://www.80sreborn.com/images/action-jackson-4.jpg

listopencil
05-27-2006, 08:54 PM
Rule #3) I'm willing to do the household chores with you if you're willing to earn a paycheck as well.. Complaining about how I do them, however, gets you nowhere.

Logical
05-27-2006, 09:00 PM
Not entirely related but...

I was actually raised doing a lot of traditionally female chores. My mother got cancer when I was 7, and died when I was 13. She had me help her with all kinds of stuff. I think part of it was just spending extra time with me, but part of it was making sure I could take care of myself. I was amazed when I got to college, and other guys had no clue how to iron their shirts, do laundry, cook, etc. To this day, I wont let my wife iron my clothes because she sucks at it. She sucked at cooking too, but she's become quite the gormet in recent years.

Wow, sad but enriching story. Sorry about your mom but the fact she found a way to provide extra bonding and improve your overall life for the future is a great story.