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View Full Version : Okay, that's it! I've had it with you women! No more!


Rain Man
05-28-2006, 06:29 PM
No more artistic closeups of flowers! Stop it! Just stop it!

I went to an art festival today, and half the women artists had at least one artistic closeup of a flower. And you won't believe this, or maybe you will, but I walked out of one of the booths, and there was a woman standing there with a camera, leaning into a flower pot to take the one-billionth closeup photo of a flower in the year 2006, of which all but three were taken by women.

No more! I've had it! No more closeup photos of dewy petals! No more impressionistic dashes of blossoms in early morning light! No more O'Keefeish representations of female genitalia embedded in pistils and stamens! It's over. It's done. Closeups of flowers are the 2000s version of those "Where's the Beef" commercials. It's beyond passe and is entering the realm of the pathetic. Move on to closeups of lips, or closeups of tropical fish, or something. Anything - anything that shows a little more creativity.

And while I'm here: please...no more pictures of Tuscany or of European doors, either.

Count Zarth
05-28-2006, 06:31 PM
Women are all unoriginal dykes for the most part. They put some shit on a canvas and think they're "enlightened."

big nasty kcnut
05-28-2006, 06:31 PM
Yeah we want artistic nude pictures of womens.

FAX
05-28-2006, 06:32 PM
Yeah.

FAX

BWillie
05-28-2006, 06:34 PM
Women are all unoriginal dykes for the most part. They put some shit on a canvas and think they're "enlightened."

So are pretty much any other main stream abstract or comtemporary artists. I could dip my cat in different colors of paint, swing it around by the tail and chuck it against a white wall repeatedly and market it by some well known artist and people would be completely awed.

Halfcan
05-28-2006, 06:35 PM
I have never been that impressed with Okeefe. Her musuem is nice, but every mountain print looked like the next.

Count Zarth
05-28-2006, 06:36 PM
Women should stick to creating art in the kitchen and on the porn set.

morphius
05-28-2006, 06:36 PM
So are pretty much any other main stream abstract or comtemporary artists. I could dip my cat in different colors of paint, swing it around by the tail and chuck it against a white wall repeatedly and market it by some well known artist and people would be completely awed.
Hey, that was my painting, get your own ideas!

luv
05-28-2006, 06:37 PM
Women should stick to creating art in the kitchen and on the porn set.
Someone's bitter.

milkman
05-28-2006, 06:42 PM
Someone's bitter.

If you had never been deflowered, and living in your mother's basement, you'd be bitter too.

Rain Man
05-28-2006, 06:45 PM
Here's the link to the festival sponsor. Watch it, and watch the five paintings scroll through in the display area. Three of the five are artistic closeups of flowers. This is killing me. Something must be done.

http://artfestival.com/

hypersensitiveZO6
05-28-2006, 06:46 PM
I don't have a problem with women. Women are cool. :clap:

milkman
05-28-2006, 06:49 PM
I don't have a problem with women. Women are cool. :clap:

I prefer hot women.

chiefsfaninNC
05-28-2006, 06:51 PM
I prefer hot women.


Boiled or grilled?

hypersensitiveZO6
05-28-2006, 06:51 PM
I prefer hot women.

Me too, only 1 out of every 30 are that though.

Rain Man
05-28-2006, 06:52 PM
I don't have a problem with women. Women are cool. :clap:

Here you go, suckup. Hang this on your wall.

https://www.ksu.edu/fergusonlab/herbarium/im2a41.jpg

luv
05-28-2006, 06:53 PM
Here you go, suckup. Hang this on your wall.


How about this?

Rain Man
05-28-2006, 06:57 PM
How about this?

Well, now that's kind of nice.

hypersensitiveZO6
05-28-2006, 06:59 PM
Here you go, suckup. Hang this on your wall.

https://www.ksu.edu/fergusonlab/herbarium/im2a41.jpg

Suckup? Who am I sucking up to? Its the truth, and I'm sorrry you feel the need to stereotype women today.

Count Zarth
05-28-2006, 07:01 PM
Someone's bitter.

You'll never taste me.

Rain Man
05-28-2006, 07:05 PM
Suckup? Who am I sucking up to? Its the truth, and I'm sorrry you feel the need to stereotype women today.

If you love women so much, why don't you just marry one?


Hmm. That packs more punch if it's about something other than women.

hypersensitiveZO6
05-28-2006, 07:09 PM
If you love women so much, why don't you just marry one?


Hmm. That packs more punch if it's about something other than women.

I am happily married.

Rain Man
05-28-2006, 07:15 PM
I am happily married.

I bet your wife has taken a closeup photo of a flower at some point. Ask her.

luv
05-28-2006, 07:18 PM
I bet your wife has taken a closeup photo of a flower at some point. Ask her.
I've been taken more pictures lately, but I've never considered taking one of a flower. I do find myself taking a lot of the clouds, sun, etc.

hypersensitiveZO6
05-28-2006, 07:18 PM
I bet your wife has taken a closeup photo of a flower at some point. Ask her.

She says she enjoys flowers, but has not taken a closeup photo yet. She say we can do that tomorrow.

Damnit Rainman! :cuss:

Talisman
05-28-2006, 07:18 PM
...

morphius
05-28-2006, 07:21 PM
I'm thinking of going out and taking a close-up picture of a weed right now for you Rain Man.

Rain Man
05-28-2006, 07:22 PM
I've been taken more pictures lately, but I've never considered taking one of a flower. I do find myself taking a lot of the clouds, sun, etc.

Yeah, but you're different. I can see it in your hands.

Off topic, but I cut my hand pretty badly back when I was in high school, and the scar blends perfectly with my lifeline. I bet that fortune tellers think I'm some sort of god.

Spicy McHaggis
05-28-2006, 07:25 PM
Women are all unoriginal dykes for the most part. They put some shit on a canvas and think they're "enlightened."

Art is either plagiarism or revolution.

luv
05-28-2006, 07:26 PM
Yeah, but you're different.
I get that a lot, but I don't mind. If only I could get a good one of a starry night. I've always loved the sky.

Baby Lee
05-28-2006, 07:51 PM
Lesbians, LESbians.
Lesbians in no man's land.

ROFL ROFL

Rain Man
05-28-2006, 08:11 PM
I get that a lot, but I don't mind. If only I could get a good one of a starry night. I've always loved the sky.

It's beautiful, but if I'm outside looking at it and start thinking about it, I find it a little scary. If not for gravity, I would be falling up through it, which would be a bad way to die.

hypersensitiveZO6
05-28-2006, 08:19 PM
Lesbians, LESbians.
Lesbians in no man's land.

ROFL ROFL

I bet if you asked Hali about Lesbians he would probably tell you that that were of the country of Lesbia.

KC Jones
05-28-2006, 08:23 PM
It's beautiful, but if I'm outside looking at it and start thinking about it, I find it a little scary. If not for gravity, I would be falling up through it, which would be a bad way to die.

What if you fell upwards really really slowly - so you would live a normal lifespan? (other than what your lifeline scar fools the fortune tellers into believing)

Baby Lee
05-28-2006, 08:26 PM
I bet if you asked Hali about Lesbians he would probably tell you that that were of the country of Lesbia.
Has anyone heard the bit on Howard where they morph from the sermon of that black preacher talking about how the no good men in his community was turning our fine women into Lesbians!!! . . . into the song I was referencing above?

ROFL ROFL - one of my favorite bits.

John_Locke
05-28-2006, 08:27 PM
Women should stick to creating art in the kitchen and on the porn set.


dude,

no wonder you don't get any.

never will with that attitude

my wife makes beautiful music

Boozer
05-28-2006, 08:31 PM
Has anyone heard the bit on Howard where they morph from the sermon of that black preacher talking about how the no good men in his community was turning our fine women into Lesbians!!! . . . into the song I was referencing above?

ROFL ROFL - one of my favorite bits.

His son can't get a date to the prom because every girl in his class is a LEZbian!

EDIT* My favorites lately have been the Riley Martin songs. "My Name Is," of course, but also D'yer Maker, etc.

Baby Lee
05-28-2006, 08:34 PM
His son can't get a date to the prom because every girl in his class is a LEZbian!

EDIT* My favorites lately have been the Riley Martin songs. "My Name Is," of course, but also D'yer Maker, etc.
The best bit, bar none is Blue Iris calling the southern lady.

Are you stroking your cock?

AH'LLL STROKE YOUR COCK WITH MAH SHOTGUN, YA DAMN FILTHY MOUTH!!!

Ahhh, yea!!!

That or Riley gets a call from David Letterman.

---------

EDIT: Did you catch Riley chewing Howard out Friday for not paying him enough for his show?

FAX
05-28-2006, 08:37 PM
The best bit, bar none is Blue Iris calling the southern lady.

Are you stroking your cock?

AH'LLL STROKE YOUR COCK WITH MAH SHOTGUN, YA DAMN FILTHY MOUTH!!!


Ahhh, yea!!!

If you would be so kind as to explain what you are alluding to, Mr. Baby Lee, I would be very grateful.

This sounds like excellent entertainment to me.

FAX

Boozer
05-28-2006, 08:45 PM
The best bit, bar none is Blue Iris calling the southern lady.

Are you stroking your cock?

AH'LLL STROKE YOUR COCK WITH MAH SHOTGUN, YA DAMN FILTHY MOUTH!!!

Ahhh, yea!!!

That or Riley gets a call from David Letterman.

---------

EDIT: Did you catch Riley chewing Howard out Friday for not paying him enough for his show?

"Uh, look man....My people gotta eat."

Baby Lee
05-28-2006, 08:47 PM
If you would be so kind as to explain what you are alluding to, Mr. Baby Lee, I would be very grateful.

This sounds like excellent entertainment to me.

FAX
Blue Irish is a husky voiced participant in 'Granny Porn.'
Richard Christie brought some of her clips to Howard's attention. In particular they were bowled over by her taking a load in the face and moaning "Ohh, it's better than Rejuvenation."
She's since become a 'whack packer' and lends her filthy mouth and dusky pipes to a number of phony-phone call bits.

That particular bit has her calling an older lady from [I believe] Alabama, with the accent you'd imagine. And they just keep going back and forth, Iris talking dirty, and the lady threatening grave retribution.

wazu
05-28-2006, 08:50 PM
It's beautiful, but if I'm outside looking at it and start thinking about it, I find it a little scary. If not for gravity, I would be falling up through it, which would be a bad way to die.

I know exactly what you mean. I love that feeling, though. The scary part for me about staring straight up is the eery feeling that an astronaut floating above the earth might flick a booger and it will hit me right in the eye. I'm guessing that would hurt, especially if the booger burst into flames upon entry to the atmosphere.

BucEyedPea
05-28-2006, 08:50 PM
Did someone say doors of Tuscany? :hmmm::clap:
http://www.danheller.com/images/Europe/Italy/Tuscany/house-big.jpg

KcMizzou
05-28-2006, 09:14 PM
I know exactly what you mean. I love that feeling, though. The scary part for me about staring straight up is the eery feeling that an astronaut floating above the earth might flick a booger and it will hit me right in the eye. I'm guessing that would hurt, especially if the booger burst into flames upon entry to the atmosphere.Man, if I didn't know any better, I'd think that was a Jack Handy quote.

greg63
05-28-2006, 11:17 PM
No more artistic closeups of flowers! Stop it! Just stop it!

I went to an art festival today, and half the women artists had at least one artistic closeup of a flower. And you won't believe this, or maybe you will, but I walked out of one of the booths, and there was a woman standing there with a camera, leaning into a flower pot to take the one-billionth closeup photo of a flower in the year 2006, of which all but three were taken by women.

No more! I've had it! No more closeup photos of dewy petals! No more impressionistic dashes of blossoms in early morning light! No more O'Keefeish representations of female genitalia embedded in pistils and stamens! It's over. It's done. Closeups of flowers are the 2000s version of those "Where's the Beef" commercials. It's beyond passe and is entering the realm of the pathetic. Move on to closeups of lips, or closeups of tropical fish, or something. Anything - anything that shows a little more creativity.

And while I'm here: please...no more pictures of Tuscany or of European doors, either.

So don't beat around the bush; tell us how you really feel. :D

Braincase
05-29-2006, 06:32 AM
The Society for the Advancement of Poofery is sending Thomas Kinkade over to kick your little market researchin' ass.

keg in kc
05-29-2006, 07:23 AM
Vagina.

It needed to be said. I'm surprised it hadn't been already.

alanm
05-29-2006, 07:44 AM
Here's the link to the festival sponsor. Watch it, and watch the five paintings scroll through in the display area. Three of the five are artistic closeups of flowers. This is killing me. Something must be done.

http://artfestival.com/
Ask your wife nicely if you can have your nuts back and stay home and watch a ball game today. ROFL

Fried Meat Ball!
05-29-2006, 07:50 AM
http://homepage.mac.com/aozer/Pics/CanonFlowerCloseup.jpg

Fried Meat Ball!
05-29-2006, 07:50 AM
I assume it's OK if a guy does it.

Jenny Gump
05-29-2006, 09:28 AM
I am a budding photographer myself. I recently joined a local camera club and attended my first geeky camera club meeting. The funny thing was that a lot of the same things you mention below is also true of photographers. Not just the female ones either.

I prefer to take spontaneous photos of people, in everyday situations. Not much of a butterfly, flower, unicorn type of girl. I'd be really happy in a war zone.

No more artistic closeups of flowers! Stop it! Just stop it!

I went to an art festival today, and half the women artists had at least one artistic closeup of a flower. And you won't believe this, or maybe you will, but I walked out of one of the booths, and there was a woman standing there with a camera, leaning into a flower pot to take the one-billionth closeup photo of a flower in the year 2006, of which all but three were taken by women.

No more! I've had it! No more closeup photos of dewy petals! No more impressionistic dashes of blossoms in early morning light! No more O'Keefeish representations of female genitalia embedded in pistils and stamens! It's over. It's done. Closeups of flowers are the 2000s version of those "Where's the Beef" commercials. It's beyond passe and is entering the realm of the pathetic. Move on to closeups of lips, or closeups of tropical fish, or something. Anything - anything that shows a little more creativity.

And while I'm here: please...no more pictures of Tuscany or of European doors, either.