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View Full Version : Embarrassing things your child says...


BIG K
06-03-2006, 04:07 PM
Every member here who is a parent can understand that sometimes, a child will reveal embarrassing things about us, or construe something that has been said. Well today, my daughter unknowingly unloaded a truck load of embarrassment on me that will probably take quite some time to recover from.

I must first start this story off that my fiance' has recently moved in. In addition to her 'other' useless garbage that she has felt necessary to clutter my home with, she of course has brought more and more of her clothes every weekend. I can deal, for now, with her clothes cluttering up MY space in MY closet in MY home. However, for some strange reason her clothes arrive with no hangers. It has been an epic battle about hangers...Everytime I head to the store, it seems I am buying more and more hangers. I make my distaste for not having enough hangers well known in my home. This has proved to be a very costly mistake....

Today, we celebrated my daughter's 7th birthday party. As my home was filled with children and parents, my daughter was opening her presents. One of the children had given my daughter a two piece swimsuit. It of course, came with hangers. As my daughter pulled the clothing out, she tangled the two hooks of the hangers. She blurts out..

"Look Daddy, it comes with two Hookers!" (Instead of hangers, of course) Everyone in the room erupted with laughter. My daughter, obviously puzzled by the reaction then blurts out....

"Every day my Daddy buys new Hookers!!"

:shake:

ChiefsFire
06-03-2006, 04:08 PM
are you my daddy??

BCD
06-03-2006, 04:10 PM
LOL Funny stuff

hypersensitiveZO6
06-03-2006, 04:14 PM
"I thought you said Mommy was a beech".

KC Jones
06-03-2006, 04:15 PM
I took my kids to six flags last year. On one of the rides my four year old starts yelling - "It tickles my penis! It tickles my penis Daddy!"

:eek:

luv
06-03-2006, 04:30 PM
Today, we celebrated my daughter's 7th birthday party. As my home was filled with children and parents, my daughter was opening her presents. One of the children had given my daughter a two piece swimsuit. It of course, came with hangers. As my daughter pulled the clothing out, she tangled the two hooks of the hangers. She blurts out..

"Look Daddy, it comes with two Hookers!" (Instead of hangers, of course) Everyone in the room erupted with laughter. My daughter, obviously puzzled by the reaction then blurts out....

"Every day my Daddy buys new Hookers!!"

:shake:
ROFL Priceless.

If your fiance is moving in with you. It's no longer YOUR romm, YOUR hangers, or YOUR home. :p

luv
06-03-2006, 04:40 PM
Got the following little stories in an email a long time ago.

1. Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleeping in the guestbedroom that night. The next day, I talked to the children, and explained that it was O.K. to sleep with Mummy when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home, please don't sleep with Mummy that night. They said OK. After my next trip several weeks later, my wife and the children picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, there were hundreds of other folks also waiting for their arriving passengers. As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting, "Hi, Dad! I've got some good news!" As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good news?" "Nobody slept with Mummy while you were away this time!" Alex shouted. The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to see if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was.

2. An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then 4 yr old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. 'Be still, my heart,' thought my friend, 'my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!' Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

3. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

4. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "if I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

5. A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

6. At the beginning of a children's sermon, one girl came up to the altar wearing a beautiful dress. As the children were sitting down around the pastor, he leaned over and said to the girl, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?" The girl replied almost directly into the pastor's clip-on mike, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a b*tch to iron."

7. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."

morphius
06-03-2006, 05:52 PM
My 5 year decided that telling my MiL that I have a bigger pee pee then him was news that she would be interested in last month.