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Otter
06-07-2006, 08:23 AM
You have an intimate evening dinner planned at a local restaurant; for the sake of argument letís say itís an Outback Steakhouse. A feast right in the meaty part of the bell curve as far at Tuesday Night goes; not showing off but not slacking either.

Your date for the night is someone youíve known been seeing for just under a year. Outside of the time you spend together for recreation there is no other commitment including financially. Also, before meeting for dinner youíve already confirmed that you would pick up the bill.

After a splendid evening, no awkward silences, spilled drinks or food particles hanging from the teeth the bill comes. As agreed I pay the bill and fill in the tip and total amounts then finally complete it with my John Hancock.

As she always does, your date picks up the already paid for bill and examines the totals.

Am I wrong to believe when one is receiving a free dinner that if you donít want to at least offer to pick up the tip the above actions are a little distasteful?

In all fairness she pays for dinner about 40% of the time.

Your thoughts.

Fried Meat Ball!
06-07-2006, 08:24 AM
IMO, it's OK if you're married. Not OK otherwise.

JBucc
06-07-2006, 08:25 AM
Is she hot?

Saulbadguy
06-07-2006, 08:25 AM
Just under a year? Naw.

Fried Meat Ball!
06-07-2006, 08:25 AM
And you stopped your charade about halfway through the scenario...

"... you've... you've ...

As agreed I pay..."


ROFL

Fried Meat Ball!
06-07-2006, 08:26 AM
Is she hot?
This thread is worthless without pics.

morphius
06-07-2006, 08:27 AM
If you have been seeing her for just under a year, I don't think its a big thing. First date might be a little worrying, but umpteenth date... not so much.

Are you just looking for reasons to get out of the relationship?

Iowanian
06-07-2006, 08:30 AM
Sounds to me like she was just checking the total to see if it was worthy of letting you touch her Uvula with your pickle on the drive home.

Otter
06-07-2006, 08:33 AM
If you have been seeing her for just under a year, I don't think its a big thing. First date might be a little worrying, but umpteenth date... not so much.

Are you just looking for reasons to get out of the replationship?

No. It just annoying after dinner I know it's going to happen and it bugs the heck out of me. I've made a conscience point not to do it in hopes of her picking up the habit with no luck.

Now I'm trying to figure out if I should be annoyed by it or not.

Otter
06-07-2006, 08:37 AM
Sounds to me like she was just checking the total to see if it was worthy of letting you touch her Uvula with your pickle on the drive home.

I don't know how you married guys do it.

ck_IN
06-07-2006, 08:37 AM
That would irk me a little as well. It's like she's checking to see if you've left the right tip or something.

Next time I'd fill out the tip, signature, etc. and hang on to it. Don't make a big show but just keep it in hand and out of hers and keep scanning for the waiter. If she asks to see it, I'd ask her why.

morphius
06-07-2006, 08:39 AM
Maybe she is frugal and is wanting to make sure that they didn't overcharge you, which may just make her a keeper...

StcChief
06-07-2006, 08:41 AM
No. It just annoying after dinner I know it's going to happen and it bugs the heck out of me. I've made a conscience point not to do it in hopes of her picking up the habit with no luck.

Now I'm trying to figure out if I should be annoyed by it or not.

Sounds like your annoyed already or you wouldn't have asked about it.

Sounds like she's making sure you didn't get screwed by the rest.
They may have an Automatic gratituty in some places etc.

she obviiously didn't think you looked over the bill with care...

As for you getting tail later, being annoyed could be problem there :p

Donger
06-07-2006, 08:46 AM
No, I wouldn't like that. Not one, little bit.

Bootlegged
06-07-2006, 08:48 AM
In this event it is proper to grab the Blooming Onion tray, smash it against her ass 3 times while repeating "NO!" in a stern voice that all can hear.

Iowanian
06-07-2006, 08:48 AM
I don't know how you married guys do it.

Thats simple.

Wedding cake gives most women an incredibly strong gag reflex which often results in...no need for them to see the bill.


I wouldn't read too much into what she did...sounds like she's been around a while, and most broads are just curious/nosy. I'll wager she has no idea it was an issue at all.


What I'm really wondering is if you leaned in and said
" JOEY DOESN'T SHAAAARE FOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!"

Mr. Flopnuts
06-07-2006, 08:49 AM
Maybe she is frugal and is wanting to make sure that they didn't overcharge you, which may just make her a keeper...



At first I was thinking, WTF? why would someone do that? Morphius however has a very good point. Maybe she is money saavy, if this girl is money conscious then she is a keeper. She had to have an idea of what it would cost based on the menu. That being said, I think she was seeing if your tip was satisfactory. If that is the case, that is totally uncalled for. It's really none of her business since she's not paying.

KCTitus
06-07-2006, 08:49 AM
Time or type of relationship is irrelevant, it's just rude. Post marriage, obviously, changes the situation a bit.

Nzoner
06-07-2006, 08:50 AM
Maybe she is frugal and is wanting to make sure that they didn't overcharge you, which may just make her a keeper...

A frugal woman?

If that's the case I suggest he pops the question today.

Iowanian
06-07-2006, 08:52 AM
Its possible that since you've been "seeing her" for a year, with no committment, she's just decided that if you're going to treat her like a hooker, she's going to make sure you've paid the full price of admission to cooterville.

"Ahm sorrah Ottah, Yowah gonna haveta supahsize it if you want to get to thihd base" [/baaahston accent]

Predarat
06-07-2006, 09:05 AM
It wouldnt bother me a bit but im too thinned skinned for my own damned good. But hell it was a nice evening, and if thats all that happened I wouldnt worry about it too much.

Otter
06-07-2006, 09:08 AM
That would irk me a little as well. It's like she's checking to see if you've left the right tip or something.

Next time I'd fill out the tip, signature, etc. and hang on to it. Don't make a big show but just keep it in hand and out of hers and keep scanning for the waiter. If she asks to see it, I'd ask her why.

I tried that once and honestly can't tell you the outcome. Must have been a Friday where the mico-brews were flowing.

That's a tactiful way of going about it though, thanks.

Its possible that since you've been "seeing her" for a year, with no committment, she's just decided that if you're going to treat her like a hooker, she's going to make sure you've paid the full price of admission to cooterville.

Just because you were raised on a farm and inherently bewildered by ďWhy buy the cow when the milk is free?Ē donít be bitter with me.

Fried Meat Ball!
06-07-2006, 09:12 AM
What I'm really wondering is if you leaned in and said
" JOEY DOESN'T SHAAAARE FOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!"



ROFL

Donger
06-07-2006, 09:14 AM
I tried that once and honestly can't tell you the outcome. Must have been a Friday where the mico-brews were flowing.

That's a tactiful way of going about it though, thanks.



Just because you were raised on a farm and inherently bewildered by ďWhy buy the cow when the milk is free?Ē donít be bitter with me.

Otter, after reading these replies, I would agree with those who say that it's inappropriate and borderline rude of her to do that. If you were married and financially joined, I would say it's just part of the gig (my wife does the same, but never did before getting married).

If I were you, next time keep the check on your side of the table. If she reaches over for it, ask her what she is doing. If she persists, make light of it (don't be an asshole) but make it clear that you don't appreciate her being nosy.

My $0.02.

Fried Meat Ball!
06-07-2006, 09:19 AM
Otter, after reading these replies, I would agree with those who say that it's inappropriate and borderline rude of her to do that. If you were married and financially joined, I would say it's just part of the gig (my wife does the same, but never did before getting married).

If I were you, next time keep the check on your side of the table. If she reaches over for it, ask her what she is doing. If she persists, make light of it (don't be an asshole) but make it clear that you don't appreciate her being nosy.

My $0.02.
:thumb:

I thought I was right on with my comment in post #2. It's OK if you're married, not otherwise.

And snide remarks can go a long ways if she has a sense of humor, so I think that's a good suggestion.

morphius
06-07-2006, 09:19 AM
We could also wonder if she was once a waitress and really hates people that don't tip well...

If it really bothers you, as Donger said, keep the check on your side and if she reaches for it grab it and with a smile and laughingly just say, "My treat means my treat". Do it a few times and she will get it.

Otter
06-07-2006, 09:20 AM
Otter, after reading these replies, I would agree with those who say that it's inappropriate and borderline rude of her to do that. If you were married and financially joined, I would say it's just part of the gig (my wife does the same, but never did before getting married).

If I were you, next time keep the check on your side of the table. If she reaches over for it, ask her what she is doing. If she persists, make light of it (don't be an asshole) but make it clear that you don't appreciate her being nosy.

My $0.02.

That supersedes my original plan of sticking the salad fork through the roof of her hand when she reaches for it.

:D

Itís just so petty you feel bad about actually caring about it but its there like or not. Very good advice and Iím glad to see itís not only me who it would annoy.

Fried Meat Ball!
06-07-2006, 09:24 AM
That supersedes my original plan of sticking the salad fork through the roof of her hand when she reaches for it.

:D

Itís just so petty you feel bad about actually caring about it but its there like or not. Very good advice and Iím glad to see itís not only me who it would annoy.
A lot of the petty stuff is what matters in a long term relationship, though. If that stuff drives you nuts now, it'll REALLY drive you nuts 10 years from now.

Obviously, this instance does not apply because as I stated earlier it's OK if you're married to the girl. But the small things do mattter.

Otter
06-07-2006, 09:24 AM
We could also wonder if she was once a waitress and really hates people that don't tip well...

If it really bothers you, as Donger said, keep the check on your side and if she reaches for it grab it and with a smile and laughingly just say, "My treat means my treat". Do it a few times and she will get it.

I have many faults, not tipping well isn't one of them. Paid for much of 6 years of college by waitering and bartending and know exactly where their coming from in that line of work.

chiefs4me
06-07-2006, 09:39 AM
women do it all the time and for two reasons, to see if they overcharged you, which they do alot, or to see if you left enough of a tip, remember, servers remember the lousy tippers, and she might of had a date at the same resturant come friday night with someone else, she wants good service next time she is in to eat...I really don't see the big deal, but that's my 2 cents.........:D

Donger
06-07-2006, 09:40 AM
to see if they overcharged you

Do you not realize that that is rather insulting?

BucEyedPea
06-07-2006, 09:43 AM
Do you not realize that that is rather insulting?

I agree. It's basically criticizing the guy, condescending of him...a I am smarter and more careful than though attitude. I wouldn't like it one bit. Let the guy lead.

Bootlegged
06-07-2006, 09:43 AM
The only acceptable response is a blooming onion tray to the ass. DON'T YOU PEOPLE GET IT? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

chiefs4me
06-07-2006, 09:47 AM
The only acceptable response is a blooming onion tray to the ass. DON'T YOU PEOPLE GET IT? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?





what if you didn't have blooming onion's, what ya gonna use then???ROFL

Bob Dole
06-07-2006, 09:51 AM
A frugal woman?

If that's the case I suggest he pops the question today.

Or checks for a hidden penis.

Donger
06-07-2006, 09:51 AM
I agree. It's basically criticizing the guy, condescending of him...a I am smarter and more careful than though attitude. I wouldn't like it one bit. Let the guy lead.

Heh. I just realized who wrote that.

I'm not surprised at all.

luv
06-07-2006, 09:54 AM
If the guy is picking up the tab, I don't look at the bill. That's like asking how much a present costs.

sedated
06-07-2006, 09:55 AM
who gives a f*ck? what does it matter?

she sees how much you paid, or she doesn't.

that's like getting pissed if someone leaves the price tag on a christmas gift.

sedated
06-07-2006, 09:56 AM
If the guy is picking up the tab, I don't look at the bill. That's like asking how much a present costs.

great minds think alike...or completely opposite

although your analogy is better, I still don't think it's a big deal.

If I paid a lot, I'd almost prefer that she sees it.

Sometimes I make a big deposit into my account, then leave ATM receipts all over the place. Men know what women want.

sedated
06-07-2006, 10:06 AM
I get more pissed when they don't occassionally offer to pay.

not that I want the woman to actually pay, but an offer would be nice.

can't they at least reach for the check? can I just get a reach?

Fried Meat Ball!
06-07-2006, 10:09 AM
I get more pissed when they don't occassionally offer to pay.

not that I want the woman to actually pay, but an offer would be nice.

can't they at least reach for the check? can I just get a reach?
You really like it when the guy at the table behind you reaches around, don't you?

Donger
06-07-2006, 10:09 AM
sedated, have you considered that if the women you are dating only care about money, then perhaps you're dating the wrong type?

Iowanian
06-07-2006, 10:12 AM
Donger, have you considered that these are women that would date, seDated? We're surely talking Threadwrecker with cerebral atrophy.

luv
06-07-2006, 10:13 AM
great minds think alike...or completely opposite

although your analogy is better, I still don't think it's a big deal.

If I paid a lot, I'd almost prefer that she sees it.

Sometimes I make a big deposit into my account, then leave ATM receipts all over the place. Men know what women want.
It may not be a big deal, but I still don't do it. If someone else is paying, then I usually try to find something a little less expensive. If the place doesn't serve alcohol, I just order Water. That type of stuff. Not all women are after money. It is a bonus though. :p

Donger
06-07-2006, 10:16 AM
Donger, have you considered that these are women that would date, seDated? We're surely talking Threadwrecker with cerebral atrophy.

Heh. Well, I'm of the opinion that you get what you expect.

chiefs4me
06-07-2006, 10:17 AM
Donger, have you considered that these are women that would date, seDated? We're surely talking Threadwrecker with cerebral atrophy.










oh my gosh how could I forget, because I have a different opinion, it's gotta be wrong.........:rolleyes: ROFL Have a nice day Killer, I have to take the little one...












swimming.:D

Donger
06-07-2006, 10:18 AM
oh my gosh how could I forget, because I have a different opinion, it's gotta be wrong.........:rolleyes: ROFL Have a nice day Killer, I have to take the little one...

Seriously, you don't think it's insulting to 'check the bill for errors' or to make sure you're husband/date can do basic math?

dtebbe
06-07-2006, 10:24 AM
So,.... Did you hit it?

Bob Dole
06-07-2006, 10:29 AM
Have you tried asking her why she insists on looking at it?

Or is this one of those relationships where you try not to speak to each other?

StcChief
06-07-2006, 10:44 AM
Seriously, you don't think it's insulting to 'check the bill for errors' or to make sure you're husband/date can do basic math?
Insulting yes....but maybe she has an hint that Math isn't his skill.

Lots of kids floating thru school can't do anything without a calculator.

sedated
06-07-2006, 10:46 AM
sedated, have you considered that if the women you are dating only care about money, then perhaps you're dating the wrong type?

there's another type?

luv
06-07-2006, 10:47 AM
Insulting yes....but maybe she has an hint that Math isn't his skill.

Lots of kids floating thru school can't do anything without a calculator.
That's when he can whip out his cell. They have tip calculators.

Otter
06-07-2006, 10:48 AM
Have you tried asking her why she insists on looking at it?

Or is this one of those relationships where you try not to speak to each other?

No, I havenít tried to ask what her curiosity is in the bill EVERY TIME.

A bill miscalculation was never caught and Iíve never left a bad tip. The best I could tell itís just a bad habit that needs to be broken by slamming the blooming onion across her melon.

Thank you Lattimer.

And no talking isnít the problem which is one of the things I like about the relationship. Iím kind of a quiet guy, sheís a chatter box, it works out well.

Itís just one of those things that are annoying yet so petty where the line between bringing up the problem and dealing with the consequences of bringing it up becomes convoluted.

Iíll make an effort to hang onto the bill next time and if she letís curiosity get the better of her Iíll play it off. Or slam her in the head with the blooming onion leftovers.

I just wanted to know if anyone else would find it annoying because I obviosly do.

kepp
06-07-2006, 10:48 AM
That would annoy me greatly. My wife does that, but I figure its par for the course when married. How about including her in the decision-making about the tip?

"Do you think the service/food was good enought to tip __%?"

After that, I'm thinking she won't feel the need to keep doing what she's doing. BTW, when did this behavior start? To me it sounds like the "no commitment" aspect of the relationship might be getting a little fuzzy in her mind.

luv
06-07-2006, 10:49 AM
That would annoy me greatly. My wife does that, but I figure its par for the course when married. How about including her in the decision-making about the tip?

"Do you think the service/food was good enought to tip __%?"

After that, I'm thinking she won't feel the need to keep doing what she's doing. BTW, when did this behavior start? To me it sounds like the "no commitment" aspect of the relationship might be getting a little fuzzy in her mind.
Very good idea.

Donger
06-07-2006, 10:50 AM
Insulting yes....but maybe she has an hint that Math isn't his skill.

Lots of kids floating thru school can't do anything without a calculator.

Perhaps, yet as you say, still insulting.

I'm relatively sure that chiefs4me has numerous areas in which she has little-to-no skill, and I doubt that she would appreciate those being pointed out to her, especially publically.

KCTitus
06-07-2006, 10:55 AM
calcuating the tip is a ruse...I mean how hard is it to look at a total, move the decimal point one to the left and then multiply that number by 2? That's tipping 20%.

Here's an excercise:

The bill total is 98.53.

Move the decimal point to the left and you get: 9.85
Multiply by two and you get: 19.70 or you can just round up to the nearest dollar.

Cmon people, if any of you need a calculator to do that math, turn in your man card.

sedated
06-07-2006, 10:55 AM
Making sure the guy didn't pay too much or too little sounds like a horrible excuse to me.

If I'm not paying, I could care less if the tip is 200%.

Otter
06-07-2006, 10:56 AM
Insulting yes....but maybe she has an hint that Math isn't his skill.

I can still do differential calculus with college students (to a -x point harhar), please don't insult my math skills.

Itís a question of etiquette, not intelligence.

Mr. Laz
06-07-2006, 10:58 AM
unacceptable ...... unless you have some kind of commitment with her.


it's rude to snoop about financial stuff ....... even the price of the meal.

Iowanian
06-07-2006, 11:01 AM
Hell, when I was in college, I don't think I ever did a chic who could do college calculus.

I think next time, without saying a word, when she reaches for your desert or the bill(unless to pay) you should stab her hand with your dinner fork, and draw a diagram of the physics on a napkin with her blood.

I kid.

I really doubt there was any calculated method behind her action...its probably just some sublimenal curiosity. I wouldn't sweat it, especially if she pays sometimes.

sedated
06-07-2006, 11:02 AM
calcuating the tip is a ruse...I mean how hard is it to look at a total, move the decimal point one to the left and then multiply that number by 2? That's tipping 20%.

Cmon people, if any of you need a calculator to do that math, turn in your man card.


even easier - just double the tax.

if tax is 7 or 7.5%, then double would be 14-15%.

just round up or down depending on service.

KCChiefsMan
06-07-2006, 11:04 AM
since you've been dating for a year, she should already have an idea of how you tip, so my answer is no...there is no reason for her to examine the bill

KCTitus
06-07-2006, 11:05 AM
even easier - just double the tax.

if tax is 7 or 7.5%, then double would be 14-15%.

just round up or down depending on service.

Another good suggestion...I always go 20% unless service sucked. The only drawback would be if you dont know the tax rate of your locality or if you're out of town, it can get confusing.

Locally, in the city, the tax rate of food is 10%--*grumble*fuggers*grumble...but in the burbs it's 6%.

RoadGrader
06-07-2006, 02:02 PM
Its possible that since you've been "seeing her" for a year, with no committment, she's just decided that if you're going to treat her like a hooker, she's going to make sure you've paid the full price of admission to cooterville.

"Ahm sorrah Ottah, Yowah gonna haveta supahsize it if you want to get to thihd base" [/baaahston accent]pardon the interruption but as a native Bostonian and friendly lurker here from PatriotsPlanet, I felt compelled to respond ~

"Ahm sorrah Ottah.....Yowah.....supahsize...." are all definitively of a Southern United States Regional Accent grouping.

I would say East-Northeastern Georgia and /or South-Southeastern South Carolinia in nature, especially the "sorrah (sorry) and the "Yowah" (Your)

a true Bostionan Accent of the above sentence would read more like:

"I'm wickkid sawry Ottur, Yaw gonnah havetah soupah sizezit big time if yah wanht ta get to thawd base offah me, yah zippah-head."

a true Bostonian Male's reaction to his date picking up the completed checkstub after he finished paying would be like:

"So, I see yaw lookin maybe to check how big a tip I give the servan-neurse theyah? How about befowah we go ovah yaw place we stop at the packie then aftah yah can check my shawts and I'll show yah ah wikkid awesome tip."

Otter
06-07-2006, 02:34 PM
pardon the interruption but as a native Bostonian and friendly lurker here from PatriotsPlanet, I felt compelled to respond ~

"Ahm sorrah Ottah.....Yowah.....supahsize...." are all definitively of a Southern United States Regional Accent grouping.

I would say East-Northeastern Georgia and /or South-Southeastern South Carolinia in nature, especially the "sorrah (sorry) and the "Yowah" (Your)

a true Bostionan Accent of the above sentence would read more like:

"I'm wickkid sawry Ottur, Yaw gonnah havetah soupah sizezit big time if yah wanht ta get to thawd base offah me, yah zippah-head."

a true Bostonian Male's reaction to his date picking up the completed checkstub after he finished paying would be like:

"So, I see yaw lookin maybe to check how big a tip I give the servan-neurse theyah? How about befowah we go ovah yaw place we stop at the packie then aftah yah can check my shawts and I'll show yah ah wikkid awesome tip."

Iowanian and me have shared sheep over some Colt 45 and he has inside info to da bing.

Fugget 'bout it.

StcChief
06-07-2006, 02:43 PM
pardon the interruption but as a native Bostonian and friendly lurker here from PatriotsPlanet, I felt compelled to respond ~

"Ahm sorrah Ottah.....Yowah.....supahsize...." are all definitively of a Southern United States Regional Accent grouping.

I would say East-Northeastern Georgia and /or South-Southeastern South Carolinia in nature, especially the "sorrah (sorry) and the "Yowah" (Your)

a true Bostionan Accent of the above sentence would read more like:

"I'm wickkid sawry Ottur, Yaw gonnah havetah soupah sizezit big time if yah wanht ta get to thawd base offah me, yah zippah-head."

a true Bostonian Male's reaction to his date picking up the completed checkstub after he finished paying would be like:

"So, I see yaw lookin maybe to check how big a tip I give the servan-neurse theyah? How about befowah we go ovah yaw place we stop at the packie then aftah yah can check my shawts and I'll show yah ah wikkid awesome tip."

Yeah but how's your DATAR

Iowanian
06-07-2006, 03:02 PM
now theyahr Graydahr, I musta been confused uh when I loaaaast the kaaaaah in the kaaaaaaaahpaaaahk.

Thanks for correcting me though. I'd hate to insult the dialect of a southie with a Southernah.

keg in kc
06-07-2006, 03:05 PM
You have an intimate evening dinner planned at a local restaurant;I don't think I'm qualified to speak on this thread.

jspchief
06-07-2006, 05:51 PM
My personal opinion is that it's rude. But I would also say the level to which it bothers you might be a barometer for the relationship.

Bob Dole
06-07-2006, 05:59 PM
I just wanted to know if anyone else would find it annoying because I obviosly do.s going to ask.

Bob Dole would find it annoying, and if someone repeatedly does something annoying, Bob Dole i

Nzoner
06-07-2006, 06:02 PM
On second thought maybe she's extremely jealous and was checking to make sure you and the hot waitress weren't exchanging numbers.