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View Full Version : Murders - how do you like them?


Rain Man
06-16-2006, 06:31 PM
I found a cool set of data from the Feds the other day (can't find the link at the moment) and they listed all manner of deaths. With a little work, I was able to pull out the homicide figures and how they occurred, thus answering an age-old question for me.

So without further ado, here's how murders in the U.S. are committed, based on 2003 statistics (the latest available).

Shootings - 67.2% of all murders

Stabbing/piercing/cutting - 11.6%

Unspecified (presumably no body was found) - 9.4%

Suffocation - 3.8%

Miscellaneous, not classifiable (multiple modes, maybe?) - 3.4%

Striking/hitting - 1.3%

Miscellaneous, classifiable (all of the odd things that are known, but not common enough to get their own category) - 1.3%

Use of fire or flame - 0.9%

Poisoning - 0.5%

Drowning - 0.3%

Use of a motor vehicle - 0.3%

Fall (or more aptly, "pushed") - 0.1%

Use of a hot object or substance (Ewwwww....) - 0.02%


Anything surprising about this list?

'Hamas' Jenkins
06-16-2006, 06:36 PM
Too bad skullf*cking isn't on there.

Count Zarth
06-16-2006, 06:36 PM
I'm surprised there aren't more deaths by phaser. You can set those to kill, you know.

NJ Chief Fan
06-16-2006, 06:38 PM
what no poll?

trndobrd
06-16-2006, 06:39 PM
I'll take Col Mustard, in the Library, with the candle stick.

Bob Dole
06-16-2006, 06:41 PM
With stabbing/cutting at over 10%, we clearly need to push for Federal knife control legislation.

Hydrae
06-16-2006, 06:44 PM
My great-grandfather once killed a man in St Joe with an axe handle. Spent two years for manslaughter for it too.

Seems he had been fired from his job (this was in 1919 or so), went out and got drunk, came back and hit his boss with the axe handle that was sitting in the work yard.

I always felt bad for his wife though. She had 3 kids at the time then lost her husband to prison and 2 of the three kids to the flu epidemic. Talk about having a bad year or two! It also helps explain why my grandfather (the one child to survive the flu) didn't get past the third grade, he had to work to help support his mother. It sure is a different world we live in today.

Ari Chi3fs
06-16-2006, 06:58 PM
weird, I dont see NUTHOOKS there.

Bacon Cheeseburger
06-16-2006, 07:03 PM
I'm surprised there's not more "falls" and drownings. I would think those would be the easiest to make look like accidents.

sedated
06-16-2006, 07:07 PM
I prefer to decapitate, then drive down the highway with the head in my lap, then get into a head-on collision with a passing car

Mr. Laz
06-16-2006, 07:11 PM
Murders - how do you like them?

as a general rule, i don't.

Cochise
06-16-2006, 07:15 PM
"Offseason" should be on the list somewhere.

ENDelt260
06-16-2006, 07:24 PM
I'm surprised there's not more "falls" and drownings. I would think those would be the easiest to make look like accidents.
Well, if they're successful at making it look like an accident, it's not gonna show up in the murder stats, now is it?

Adept Havelock
06-16-2006, 07:30 PM
With Fava Beans and a nice Chianti, of course.

'Hamas' Jenkins
06-16-2006, 07:30 PM
With stabbing/cutting at over 10%, we clearly need to push for Federal knife control legislation.

Tell that to the Rwandans....:shake:

Monkeylook4food
06-16-2006, 07:33 PM
Well, if they're successful at making it look like an accident, it's not gonna show up in the murder stats, now is it?
I think they done a real fine job down there in Rolla. A real fine job.

Adept Havelock
06-16-2006, 07:37 PM
Bob Dole][/b]
With stabbing/cutting at over 10%, we clearly need to push for Federal knife control legislation.
:clap:
Tell that to the Rwandans....:shake:Sure, "Hamas"....all that was needed to prevent the Rwandan genocide was stricter knife controls. ROFL ROFL ROFL

Try reading "Shake Hands with the Devil: The Failure of Humanity in Rwanda" by General Dallaire. While you're buying it, spend an extra nickel and buy yourself a clue to go with it. :rolleyes:

sedated
06-16-2006, 07:37 PM
crush their head in a vice

sedated
06-16-2006, 07:37 PM
tuna and antifreeze

Adept Havelock
06-16-2006, 07:39 PM
tuna and antifreezeArsenic and Fentanyl in pot brownies is pretty effective too. "I can't stop eating them....." :p

WilliamTheIrish
06-16-2006, 07:58 PM
Tell that to the Rwandans....:shake:

Ugh.

Bacon Cheeseburger
06-16-2006, 10:48 PM
Well, if they're successful at making it look like an accident, it's not gonna show up in the murder stats, now is it?
:doh!:
OK, so I completely contradicted myself in that statement, so I'll try to rephrase it. Those methods would be the best approach with "making it look like an accident" in mind.

Or perhaps the numbers are so low because many DO get away with it....:hmmm:

Loki
06-16-2006, 11:19 PM
death by ninja... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpTaBulIL_w)

TinyEvel
06-17-2006, 09:54 AM
Man, REALLY disappointed that poisoning is only .05%
Where's the romance these days?
Guns are so mainstrream Hollywood.
What's this world coming to?

Rain Man
06-17-2006, 10:05 AM
I kind of agree with tinyevel. There's a huge lack of imagination in these statistics. Guns and knives, guns and knives. I'm just holding out hope that the "miscellaneous" categories are full of rich stories employing water spigots and cantaloupes and stagecoaches.

BucEyedPea
06-17-2006, 10:18 AM
Long, slow death through nagging :p

FAX
06-17-2006, 10:22 AM
Not a murder, per se, but an excellent example of creative demise nonetheless ...

A circus act in Romania ended in tragedy on 23 January when fire-eater Vlad Cazacu, 43, belched in mid-performance and was blown to bits. Incredibly no one came to his rescue as stunned onlookers assumed this was part of an amazing illusion. Consequently this unfortunate man, who probably could have been saved, was allowed to just lie there and die.

"In the first part of the performance," said fellow circus performer Nicole Antosu, "Vlad held a flammable cocktail in his mouth to spit fire at a burning torch. Somehow, he must have swallowed some of the liquid, because when he burped he triggered an explosion." The Parrot (Accra, Ghana) - 2-8 June

FAX

FAX
06-17-2006, 10:26 AM
It was the elephant with the poo in the zoo ...

Paderborn, Germany - Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes. The plugged-up pachyderm finally let fly. Standing next to his elephant, Mr. Riesfeldt suffocated under 200 pounds of elephant manure. Investigators say Riesfeldt, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an enema when the beast unloaded on him.

“The sheer force of the elephant’s unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him,” said flabbergasted police detective Erik Dern. With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated.

FAX

Gonzo
06-17-2006, 10:27 AM
Well this is a little more original.

http://www.kptm.com/news/local/3021416.html