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alnorth
06-19-2006, 05:16 PM
Heres how it works, You make a wish and the person below corrupts it in some horrible way. Then that person makes their own wish.

Example:

Person 1: I wish I had a million dollars
Person 2: Granted, but you spend it all on booze and live in a gutter for the rest of your life. I wish I was done with school.
Person 3: Granted, in 10 years you go back for your GED. I wish... etc

I'll start: I wish that I had Chiefs season tickets, 15th row on the 50 yard line.

sedated
06-19-2006, 05:22 PM
Granted, but you'd get them taken away for fighting with the donks fan and thrown in jail.

I wish all donks fans were dead, or at least mute

Calcountry
06-19-2006, 05:40 PM
Granted, but you'd get them taken away for fighting with the donks fan and thrown in jail.

I wish all donks fans were dead, or at least muteGranted, but then some Charger fans were in your face 24/7 for 5 years.

I wish that the A's rack up another world title this year.

alnorth
06-19-2006, 05:52 PM
Granted, but then some Charger fans were in your face 24/7 for 5 years.

I wish that the A's rack up another world title this year.

Granted, the A's move to Portland and win it all. The loss of your favorite baseball team sends you spiralling into depression and you consider suicide.

I wish I knew which teams to bet on at the casino.

OldTownChief
06-19-2006, 06:00 PM
Granted, the A's move to Portland and win it all. The loss of your favorite baseball team sends you spiralling into depression and you consider suicide.

I wish I knew which teams to bet on at the casino.

Granted, You know which teams to bet on, but you still lose. I wish I had a million more wishes.

rad
06-19-2006, 06:04 PM
Granted, but due to a communication breakdown, you get 1 million more fishes.

I wish I was a rock star...

JBucc
06-19-2006, 06:05 PM
havn't(haven't?)we done this before?

KC Dan
06-19-2006, 06:06 PM
Granted, but due to a communication breakdown, you get 1 million more fishes.

I wish I was a rock star...
Granted, but you OD one week later.

I wish that Skip would have his post count wiped out and he is now a nOOB

Count Zarth
06-19-2006, 06:09 PM
Granted, he becomes a mod and bans you.

I wish I was married to Carrie Underwood.

KC Dan
06-19-2006, 06:11 PM
Granted, he becomes a mod and bans you.

I wish I was married to Carrie Underwood.
Granted, but she makes you dress up like Princess Leia and gives you a light saber up the dark highway!
I wish that every Hummer on the road would simultanelously explode.

OldTownChief
06-19-2006, 06:18 PM
Granted, but she makes you dress up like Princess Leia and gives you a light saber up the dark highway!
I wish that every Hummer on the road would simultanelously explode.


Granted but this leaves you with no wife/gf.

I wish Carrie Underwood gets as fat as Kelly Clarkson.

Rain Man
06-19-2006, 06:18 PM
Granted, but she makes you dress up like Princess Leia and gives you a light saber up the dark highway!
I wish that every Hummer on the road would simultanelously explode.

Wow. You just killed thousands of American soldiers in Iraq. Congratulations on destroying democracy.

I wish I could be in the front row of a Springsteen concert.

KC Dan
06-19-2006, 06:23 PM
Wow. You just killed thousands of American soldiers in Iraq. Congratulations on destroying democracy.

I wish I could be in the front row of a Springsteen concert.
damn! i meant the on road wife poser models....:banghead:

Adept Havelock
06-19-2006, 06:24 PM
Wow. You just killed thousands of American soldiers in Iraq. Congratulations on destroying democracy.

I wish I could be in the front row of a Springsteen concert.

Granted, but he drags you onstage to dance, and toungue-kisses you in front of thousands of people, recorded forever on a concert video endlessly played on VH-1.

I wish I hadn't had those last three pints last night. Oy, the headache.

OldTownChief
06-19-2006, 06:26 PM
Wow. You just killed thousands of American soldiers in Iraq. Congratulations on destroying democracy.

I wish I could be in the front row of a Springsteen concert.

Granted, but the opening act is Gallagher and he has bags of dog shit AND you forgot to bring your protective plastic shield.

I wish for world peace.

JBucc
06-19-2006, 06:27 PM
Granted, but he drags you onstage to dance, and toungue-kisses you in front of thousands of people, recorded forever on a concert video.

I wish I hadn't had those last three pints last night. Oy, the headache.Granted, but without the blood thinning alcohol that clot doesn't break up and clogs up your heart and you die.

I wish I had a big house and a cool degree in coolness.

4th and Long
06-19-2006, 06:42 PM
Granted, but without the blood thinning alcohol that clot doesn't break up and clogs up your heart and you die.

I wish I had a big house and a cool degree in coolness.
Granted, however your house is located in Harlem (watch those stray bullets during a drive-by, pal) and your coolness degree has less to do with your personality and more to do with fixing air conditioning units.

I wish this thread would go at least one more page.

Ari Chi3fs
06-19-2006, 06:43 PM
Granted, but without the blood thinning alcohol that clot doesn't break up and clogs up your heart and you die.

I wish I had a big house and a cool degree in coolness.

Granted, now your house is so awesome, but you are cyrogenically frozen alongside Ted Williams.


I wish a I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her.

Adept Havelock
06-19-2006, 07:27 PM
Granted, now your house is so awesome, but you are cyrogenically frozen alongside Ted Williams.


I wish a I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her.


Granted, but you miss three consecutive free throws in game 7 of the NBA finals (at the end of the game), your team loses. You become the NBA version of L** El*****. That night your famous supermodel girlfriend goes on national TV to denounce you as a ballplayer and lover. The fans of your city turn out at the airport on your return home and have you publicly drawn and quartered. Still unsatisfied, they rampage and burn down Allen Fieldhouse, as it was your alma mater and they wish to remove your taint from the school.

I wish I had absolute power over an advanced first world nation.

alnorth
06-19-2006, 07:42 PM
Granted, but you miss three consecutive free throws in game 7 of the NBA finals (at the end of the game), your team loses. You become the NBA version of L** El*****. That night your famous supermodel girlfriend goes on national TV to denounce you as a ballplayer and lover. The fans of your city turn out at the airport on your return home and have you publicly drawn and quartered. Still unsatisfied, they rampage and burn down Allen Fieldhouse, as it was your alma mater and they wish to remove your taint from the school.

I wish I had absolute power over an advanced first world nation.

Granted, that nation is located in a very small space station on the moon where you conduct dull scientific experiments alone for the rest of your life.

I wish Barry Bonds suffered a career-ending injury one home run shy of breaking Hank Aaron's record.

sedated
06-19-2006, 07:43 PM
I wish I had absolute power over an advanced first world nation.

Granted, but you become arrogant. In your attempt to defend the honor of your father, you use a national tragedy to invade an innocent country. The citizens who elected you become upset at your horrid leadership and dumbfounding stupidity, and break out the nuthooks. You are overthrown and convicted as a tyrant.

I wish the guy above me hadn't responded first

(D'OH)

Adept Havelock
06-19-2006, 07:48 PM
Granted, that nation is located in a very small space station on the moon where you conduct dull scientific experiments alone for the rest of your life.

I wish Barry Bonds suffered a career-ending injury one home run shy of breaking Hank Aaron's record.

Granted, unfortunately the injury involves you and a nun in a comprimising position, and the entire country sees the (pixilated) footage on sportscenter.

I wish sedated had fulfilled this wish.

OldTownChief
06-19-2006, 07:51 PM
Granted, that nation is located in a very small space station on the moon where you conduct dull scientific experiments alone for the rest of your life.

I wish Barry Bonds suffered a career-ending injury one home run shy of breaking Hank Aaron's record.

Granted but the next day it is discovered that he had taken a new undetectable steroid which allowed him the come back from career endingness and the rules were changed for him, allowing him to bat 20 times in the next game breaking HA's record by 19. And all BB fans rejoiced.

I wish 2 people wouldn't respond to the same post in this thread, leaving 2 possible "wishes" to respond to

Halfcan
06-19-2006, 08:05 PM
Granted but the next day it is discovered that he had taken a new undetectable steroid which allowed him the come back from career endingness and the rules were changed for him, allowing him to bat 20 times in the next game breaking HA's record by 19. And all BB fans rejoiced.

I wish 2 people wouldn't respond to the same post in this thread, leaving 2 possible "wishes" to respond to

Granted but when you check for the response your computer gets a virus from all the porn you looked up last night. After spending big $$ on the geek squad to get it up and running you find this stupid post.

I wish I had the powers of Superman!

KCChiefsMan
06-19-2006, 08:24 PM
Granted but when you check for the response your computer gets a virus from all the porn you looked up last night. After spending big $$ on the geek squad to get it up and running you find this stupid post.

I wish I had the powers of Superman!


granted, but when the powers of superman are entered into you, it changes your gene structure, giving you an extra Y chromosome, making you a raging homosexual....and the whole world is seeing you snapping your fingers around and you enjoy getting pounded in the butt.

I wish I had a lifetime supply of toilet paper

Logical
06-19-2006, 08:40 PM
granted, but when the powers of superman are entered into you, it changes your gene structure, giving you an extra Y chromosome, making you a raging homosexual....and the whole world is seeing you snapping your fingers around and you enjoy getting pounded in the butt.

I wish I had a lifetime supply of toilet paperGranted but it is made of sandpaper.

I wish I had good kidneys

Adept Havelock
06-19-2006, 08:40 PM
Granted but it is made of sandpaper.

I wish I had good kidneys

Granted, but they are harvested by British calico-colored guina pigs. They make steak-and-kidney pie out of them.

I wish I had an uncorruptable wish.

alnorth
06-19-2006, 08:46 PM
Granted, but they are harvested by British calico-colored guina pigs. They make steak-and-kidney pie out of them.

I wish I had an uncorruptable wish.

Granted, your wish to be a dung beetle goes uncorrupted.

I wish I always knew what my opponents were holding in Poker.

KcMizzou
06-19-2006, 08:48 PM
Granted, but they are harvested by British calico-colored guina pigs. Hah.. someone's been watching G4. Those commercials are great.

Adept Havelock
06-19-2006, 08:48 PM
Hah.. someone's been watching G4. Those commercials are great.
Actually, they showed it at a movie theatre. Very strange.


Granted, your wish to be a dung beetle goes uncorrupted.

I wish I always knew what my opponents were holding in Poker.

ROFL
Granted, but you try it in Vegas, and spend an unpleasant evening getting multiple bones slowly broken, one at a time.

I wish I had a non-anal sexual encounter with Uma Thurmann.

Rain Man
06-19-2006, 08:50 PM
ROFL
Granted, but you try it in Vegas, and spend an unpleasant evening getting multiple bones slowly broken, one at a time.

I wish I had a non-anal sexual encounter with Uma Thurmann.


Congratulations. Uma just defecated on your chest, and it really turned her on.

I wish I could go on a relaxing vacation.

sedated
06-19-2006, 08:54 PM
Congratulations. Uma just defecated on your chest, and it really turned her on.

I wish I could go on a relaxing vacation.

Granted, but your relaxing vacation doesn't involve your kids, and they are left at home to starve to death. You are greeted at home by the authorities, and spend life in prison.

I wish Uma Thurman had defecated on my chest

Rain Man
06-19-2006, 08:57 PM
Granted, but your relaxing vacation doesn't involve your kids, and they are left at home to starve to death. You are greeted at home by the authorities, and spend life in prison.

I wish Uma Thurman had defecated on my chest

Uma did...while you were having open-heart surgery.

I wish I could finish writing a novel.

Adept Havelock
06-19-2006, 09:00 PM
Uma did...while you were having open-heart surgery.

I wish I could finish writing a novel.

You do, sadly, due to an imagined plagiarism, Salman Rushdie declares a fatwa on you, and hires numerous assassins to track you down and kill you.

I wish I had a twenty gallon jug of 100 year old scotch.

OldTownChief
06-19-2006, 09:04 PM
You do, sadly, due to an imagined plagiarism, Salman Rushdie declares a fatwa on you, and hires numerous assassins to track you down and kill you.

I wish I had a twenty gallon jug of 100 year old scotch.

Granted but while having a shot with Rain Man one of his numerous assassins misses him and hits the bottle. I wish the Chiefs would win the next SB.

Cochise
06-19-2006, 09:05 PM
Granted but while having a shot with Rain Man one of his numerous assassins misses him and hits the bottle. I wish the Chiefs would win the next SB.

Granted, but due to labor stoppage the next super bowl isn't played until 2246.

I wish that Kansas City would get an NHL team.

OldTownChief
06-19-2006, 09:09 PM
Granted, but due to labor stoppage the next super bowl isn't played until 2246.


ROFL :cuss:

alnorth
06-19-2006, 09:47 PM
Granted, but due to labor stoppage the next super bowl isn't played until 2246.

I wish that Kansas City would get an NHL team.

Granted, the league schedules all games involving KC, including playoffs, for 9am weekdays.

I wish I was immortal.

greg63
06-19-2006, 09:51 PM
Granted, the league schedules all games involving KC, including playoffs, for 9am weekdays.

I wish I was immortal.
Wish granted; you must live with your mother-inlaw for all time.

I wish to be King of the world.

Adept Havelock
06-19-2006, 10:02 PM
Wish granted; you must live with your mother-inlaw for all time.

I wish to be King of the world.


Granted, you are now stuck on the bow of the Titanic with the rotting and fish-nibbled corpse of Kate Winslet, for all eternity.

I wish I had invented and patented the transistor.

Bowser
06-19-2006, 11:15 PM
Granted, you are now stuck on the bow of the Titanic with the rotting and fish-nibbled corpse of Kate Winslet, for all eternity.

I wish I had invented and patented the transistor.

Granted, but Ben Franklin is struck by lightning, instead of his kite with a key on it, killing him instantly. You show everyone you know your transistor, but without electricity, they think you are insane and lock you up with an Uma Thurman who has a lifelong diarreha problem to go along with a craving for Mexican food.

I wish I knew the secrets of the universe.

CoMoChief
06-19-2006, 11:36 PM
Granted, but Ben Franklin is struck by lightning, instead of his kite with a key on it, killing him instantly. You show everyone you know your transistor, but without electricity, they think you are insane and lock you up with an Uma Thurman who has a lifelong diarreha problem to go along with a craving for Mexican food.

I wish I knew the secrets of the universe.


All of the secrets were created by the one and only Chuck Norris.

I wish I had enough money to buy the Royals and make them VERY competitive.

luv
06-19-2006, 11:48 PM
All of the secrets were created by the one and only Chuck Norris.

I wish I had enough money to buy the Royals and make them VERY competitive.
And, once they are, they get moved to Maryland.

I wish I could find a good man.

Moooo
06-19-2006, 11:50 PM
And, once they are, they get moved to Maryland.

I wish I could find a good man.

You find him and marry him, only to discover he's a eunuch.

I want world peace...just because it'll be interesting to see how to corrupt it.

Moooo

alnorth
06-19-2006, 11:53 PM
You find him and marry him, only to discover he's a eunuch.

I want world peace...just because it'll be interesting to see how to corrupt it.

Moooo

Everyone is killed by a catastrophic outbreak of bird flu. Without humans, the world is very peaceful.

I wish NASCAR fans found something more productive to do on the weekend.

Moooo
06-19-2006, 11:56 PM
Everyone is killed by a catastrophic outbreak of bird flu. Without humans, the world is very peaceful.

I wish NASCAR fans found something more productive to do on the weekend.

I can't resist...

Soccer almost instantaneously becomes the number 2 sport in America, making the sales of Capri Sun skyrocket.

I wish Kansas City got a Hockey or Basketball team.

alnorth
06-20-2006, 12:02 AM
I can't resist...

Soccer almost instantaneously becomes the number 2 sport in America, making the sales of Capri Sun skyrocket.

I wish Kansas City got a Hockey or Basketball team.

Granted. The Harlem Globetrotters relocates, becoming the Kansas City Globetrotters. They play maybe 2 or 3 games in KC a year during their annual comedy tour across the major and minor towns in America.

I wish the Wal-Mart recycling centers in Des Moines paid $1 per aluminum can.

luv
06-20-2006, 12:03 AM
Granted. The Harlem Globetrotters relocates, becoming the Kansas City Globetrotters. They play maybe 2 or 3 games in KC a year during their annual comedy tour across the major and minor towns in America.

I wish the Wal-Mart recycling centers in Des Moines paid $1 per aluiminum can.
Causing all of the Wal-Marts to go bankrupt, which causes widespread histeria amongst NASCAR fans.

I wish chocolate had zero calories.

Pitt Gorilla
06-20-2006, 12:12 AM
Granted, now your house is so awesome, but you are cyrogenically frozen alongside Ted Williams.


I wish a I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her.I wish I had a rabbit in a hat (with a bat) and a 64 Impala...

greg63
06-20-2006, 12:14 AM
Causing all of the Wal-Marts to go bankrupt, which causes widespread histeria amongst NASCAR fans.

I wish chocolate had zero calories.
Granted; you are stuck in that old Lucy show as Lucy herself working in the Chocolate factory and stuffing her face with chocolates. :D

Halfcan
06-20-2006, 12:15 AM
Causing all of the Wal-Marts to go bankrupt, which causes widespread histeria amongst NASCAR fans.

I wish chocolate had zero calories.

Granted but then you realize it was Exlax.

I wish I wasn't so handsome, it can be a burden when I am not taken serious for my mind.

Halfcan
06-20-2006, 12:16 AM
Granted; you are stuck in that old Lucy show as Lucy herself working in the Chocolate factory and stuffing her face with chocolate. :D

Your suppose to make a wish.

I wish Greg would have made a wish.

greg63
06-20-2006, 12:20 AM
Your suppose to make a wish.

I wish Greg would have made a wish.


oops; I wish I hadn't made that last wish; so therefore I wish I was a Hawk. :D

greg63
06-20-2006, 12:22 AM
Granted but then you realize it was Exlax.

I wish I wasn't so handsome, it can be a burden when I am not taken serious for my mind.
Granted; you then wake up from the anesthesia only to find that you live in a Twilight Zone universe where ugly deformity is the excepted norm.



Nite Planet!

rad
06-20-2006, 06:33 AM
Granted but then you realize it was Exlax.

I wish I wasn't so handsome, it can be a burden when I am not taken serious for my mind.

Granted, you now look like Patrick Ewing.

I wish I was a pornstar.

Rain Man
06-20-2006, 08:08 AM
Granted, you now look like Patrick Ewing.

I wish I was a pornstar.

(This one's too easy.) You are a porn star. Your costars Bart and Jimmy are on their way out of the dressing room.

I wish that I had a luxury penthouse apartment in Manhattan.

crispystl420
06-20-2006, 08:13 AM
(This one's too easy.) You are a porn star. Your costars Bart and Jimmy are on their way out of the dressing room.

I wish that I had a luxury penthouse apartment in Manhattan.
granted But Fran Drescher moves in next door the next week

I wish beer grew on trees

Gonzo
06-20-2006, 08:25 AM
granted But Fran Drescher moves in next door the next week

I wish beer grew on trees
Granted, but the beer is only good for one day and then it turns into a shitty girly fu-fu drink.
I wish my wife was a nympho and was only attracted to me. :hmmm:

King_Chief_Fan
06-20-2006, 08:26 AM
granted But Fran Drescher moves in next door the next week

I wish beer grew on trees

granted, but you live in the desert where nothing grows

I wish Denver goes 2-14 in 2006.

DaKCMan AP
06-20-2006, 08:33 AM
Granted, but the beer is only good for one day and then it turns into a shitty girly fu-fu drink.
I wish my wife was a nympho and was only attracted to me. :hmmm:

Granted, but you're gay.

I wish I had a 6 pack.

rad
06-20-2006, 08:34 AM
granted, but you live in the desert where nothing grows

I wish Denver goes 2-14 in 2006.

Granted, but the 2 wins are against us.

I wish Skip came back...

DaKCMan AP
06-20-2006, 08:36 AM
Granted, but the 2 wins are against us.

I wish Skip came back...

Granted, but you have to leave.


I wish we never invaded Iraq.

Fried Meat Ball!
06-20-2006, 08:39 AM
Granted, but you have to leave.


I wish we never invaded Iraq.
Granted, but Saddam Hussein invaded the U.S. and made you his bitch.

I wish Tom Cruise would be mute.

rad
06-20-2006, 09:04 AM
Granted, but Saddam Hussein invaded the U.S. and made you his bitch.

I wish Tom Cruise would be mute.

Granted, but he gets elected as mayor of your city.

I wish I had a $100,000 a year job.

ExtremeChief
06-20-2006, 09:15 AM
Granted, but he gets elected as mayor of your city.

I wish I had a $100,000 a year job.

Granted, but the new calendar has 41,785 days a year.

I wish my truck got 40 miles per gallon.

DaKCMan AP
06-20-2006, 09:16 AM
Granted, but he gets elected as mayor of your city.

I wish I had a $100,000 a year job.

Granted, but you have to pay $75,000 a year in taxes.

I wish today were Friday.

Fried Meat Ball!
06-20-2006, 09:22 AM
Granted, but you have to pay $75,000 a year in taxes.

I wish today were Friday.
Granted, but weekends cease to exist.

I wish Gates BBQ was free.

Fried Meat Ball!
06-20-2006, 09:24 AM
Granted, but the new calendar has 41,785 days a year.

I wish my truck got 40 miles per gallon.
Granted, but having to ride with TubGirl drags you back down to 16.

I gave my wish in the last one.

Pitt Gorilla
06-20-2006, 09:24 AM
(This one's too easy.) You are a porn star. Your costars Bart and Jimmy are on their way out of the dressing room.

I wish that I had a luxury penthouse apartment in Manhattan.Granted, but the "luxery penthouse" in Manhattan, KS consists of four poles and a tin roof overlooking the tracks.

ExtremeChief
06-20-2006, 09:26 AM
Granted, but weekends cease to exist.

I wish Gates BBQ was free.

Granted. The new and improved Gates BBQ is made with felines.

I wish my computer refreshed quicker so I would get this in before someone else does.

Fried Meat Ball!
06-20-2006, 09:28 AM
Granted. The new and improved Gates BBQ is made with felines.

I wish my computer refreshed quicker so I would get this in before someone else does.
Granted, but it's a Mac. ROFL


I wish Natalie Portman and Nicole Kidman would do lesbian porn.

Rain Man
06-20-2006, 09:31 AM
Granted, but it's a Mac. ROFL


I wish Natalie Portman and Nicole Kidman would do lesbian porn.

This thread is over. Neg rep to anyone who ruins his wish.

KC Dan
06-20-2006, 09:33 AM
Granted, but it's a Mac. ROFL


I wish Natalie Portman and Nicole Kidman would do lesbian porn.
Granted, but you are in a coma from an auto accident the day the video is released but it includes a cameo from Rain Man.

I wish that someone would renovate my kitchen for me at no cost.

Fried Meat Ball!
06-20-2006, 09:37 AM
I hope to see fewer green dots for KC Dan soon. :cuss:

Rain Man
06-20-2006, 09:38 AM
That just destroyed my day.

KC Dan
06-20-2006, 09:42 AM
That just destroyed my day.
thought that you'd like that

ROFL

RockChalk
06-20-2006, 09:51 AM
Granted, but you are in a coma from an auto accident the day the video is released but it includes a cameo from Rain Man.

I wish that someone would renovate my kitchen for me at no cost.

Granted, but due to some cost cutting moves, your gas stove catches on fire and burns your house down.

I wish that the Glass family would be vacationing on a yacht in the Atlantic and a terrible hurricane sinks their boat, thus freeing the Royals from a worthless owner.

Fried Meat Ball!
06-20-2006, 09:52 AM
Granted, but due to some cost cutting moves, your gas stove catches on fire and burns your house down.

I wish that the Glass family would be vacationing on a yacht in the Atlantic and a terrible hurricane sinks their boat, thus freeing the Royals from a worthless owner.
Granted, but Matt Millen takes over and give MLB the first-ever winless season.

I wish I was a famous filmmaker.

Rain Man
06-20-2006, 09:56 AM
Granted, but Matt Millen takes over and give MLB the first-ever winless season.

I wish I was a famous filmmaker.


Congratulations. You are Alfred Hitchcock. Good luck getting out of that coffin.

I wish I had a Dr. Pepper.

ExtremeChief
06-20-2006, 10:03 AM
Congratulations. You are Alfred Hitchcock. Good luck getting out of that coffin.

I wish I had a Dr. Pepper.

Granted. Dr. Jack Pepper has now moved in with you and you are his love slave.

I wish I could think of a clever wish.

Fried Meat Ball!
06-20-2006, 10:15 AM
Granted. Dr. Jack Pepper has now moved in with you and you are his love slave.

I wish I could think of a clever wish.
Granted, unfortunately it involves Ron Jeremy, Don Rickles and santorum.


I wish gargoyles were real.

ExtremeChief
06-20-2006, 10:19 AM
Granted, unfortunately it involves Ron Jeremy, Don Rickles and santorum.


I wish gargoyles were real.


Granted. You have a pair, but they have lied about the UV protection all these years, and you will soon be blind.

I wish the sun rose in the west and set in the east.

Rain Man
06-20-2006, 10:25 AM
Granted. You have a pair, but they have lied about the UV protection all these years, and you will soon be blind.

I wish the sun rose in the west and set in the east.


After a giant meteor strike, the earth has now rotated 180 degrees as all life expires.


I wish the earth wouldn't get destroyed by a giant meteor strike.

Earthling
06-20-2006, 10:29 AM
After a giant meteor strike, the earth has now rotated 180 degrees as all life expires.


I wish the earth wouldn't get destroyed by a giant meteor strike.


Before the meteor hits the earth our scientist find a way to teleport the entire earth out of harms way. Unfortunately they miscalculate and send the earth into the sun.

I wish I was Superman..!!

mlyonsd
06-20-2006, 10:32 AM
Before the meteor hits the earth our scientist find a way to teleport the entire earth out of harms way. Unfortunately they miscalculate and send the earth into the sun.

I wish I was Superman..!!

You find out you've been exposed to Kryptonite and become Superman. You are an instant chick magnet. Then you discover Kryptonite has also changed your sexual needs and all you want now is to get corn holed.

I wish all men wearing blue tights weren't gay.

ExtremeChief
06-20-2006, 10:33 AM
Before the meteor hits the earth our scientist find a way to teleport the entire earth out of harms way. Unfortunately they miscalculate and send the earth into the sun.

I wish I was Superman..!!

Granted. You are now a smilie on a message board.


I wish the Royals didn't suck.

King_Chief_Fan
06-20-2006, 10:46 AM
Granted. You are now a smilie on a message board.


I wish the Royals didn't suck.

granted, but since they are good, they are moved to the west coast

I wish I didn't have to make a wish

RockChalk
06-20-2006, 10:47 AM
Granted. The Royals don't suck because they don't exist. Lamar Hunt bought them and changed the team to soccer players, averaging 212 fans per game.

I wish soccer didn't exist.

Rain Man
06-20-2006, 10:49 AM
Granted. The Royals don't suck because they don't exist. Lamar Hunt bought them and changed the team to soccer players, averaging 212 fans per game.

I wish soccer didn't exist.

Instead of soccer as a pastime, the Third World is now learning Islam and how to build roadside bombs.

I wish Islam didn't exist.

rad
06-20-2006, 10:50 AM
granted, but since they are good, they are moved to the west coast

I wish I didn't have to make a wish

Granted, but you just did.

I wish I win the lottery.

mlyonsd
06-20-2006, 11:28 AM
Granted, but you just did.

I wish I win the lottery.

Granted. You win the Chiefs organization from Lamar in a poker game only to become Peterson's new bitch.

I wish Peterson would retire.

greg63
06-20-2006, 11:55 AM
Granted. You win the Chiefs organization from Lamar in a poker game only to become Peterson's new bitch.

I wish Peterson would retire.
Granted, but then the front office hires his kid to take his place who is just like him.

I wish for infinite wealth.

Gonzo
06-20-2006, 12:50 PM
Granted, but then the front office hires his kid to take his place who is just like him.

I wish for infinite wealth.
Granted! But now you have all the losers from messageboards stalking you at all times and you never get a moments peace. (Bluballs)

I wish D.T. would be inducted to the HOF.

Fried Meat Ball!
06-20-2006, 12:51 PM
Granted, but then the front office hires his kid to take his place who is just like him.

I wish for infinite wealth.
Congratulations, you have an infinite wealth of sewage in your back yard.

I wish this thread didn't drown all my hopes and dreams.

Rain Man
06-20-2006, 01:27 PM
Congratulations, you have an infinite wealth of sewage in your back yard.

I wish this thread didn't drown all my hopes and dreams.

Your hopes and dreams are now on fire.

I wish we had two moons.

Fried Meat Ball!
06-20-2006, 01:32 PM
Your hopes and dreams are now on fire.

I wish we had two moons.
Granted, unfortunatley those moons belong to GoChiefs and Nick Athan.

I wish I didn't have to work to make money.

Over-Head
06-20-2006, 01:35 PM
Granted, unfortunatley those moons belong to GoChiefs and Nick Athan.

I wish I didn't have to work to make money.Granted
You’d only waste it renting ppv porn, and hookers..

I wish I had a pound of BC Hydro

Braincase
06-20-2006, 02:10 PM
Granted
You’d only waste it renting ppv porn, and hookers..

I wish I had a pound of BC Hydro

Granted...
It comes in a safe, and you don't have the combination...

I wish I had the abs I had at 19...

mlyonsd
06-20-2006, 02:24 PM
Granted...
It comes in a safe, and you don't have the combination...

I wish I had the abs I had at 19...

Granted. You're involved in a car accident and become brain dead. You waste away to 89 pounds and look like a skeleton with flesh. Since you didn't leave a living will a CP poll is created asking should they pull the plug on you or not, with the results dictating your outcome. Unfortunately an end date for the poll isn't thought of and the argument then turns to how long to leave the poll open.

I wish I could fly in space just one time in my life before I croak.

SquirrellyBastard
06-20-2006, 02:26 PM
Granted...
It comes in a safe, and you don't have the combination...

I wish I had the abs I had at 19...


Granted...but the roids you took to achieve your abs have shrunk your balls to the size of peas.

I wish I could go back in time..

RockChalk
06-20-2006, 02:37 PM
Granted...but the roids you took to achieve your abs have shrunk your balls to the size of peas.

I wish I could go back in time..

Granted...

While at a dance a club you meet an attractive young woman and spend the entire evening making love to her. The next morning you ask her name and find out she's your mother. This turns you on even more...

I wish that I had a baseball instructional video that had 1993 commercials still airing 10 times a morning during sportcenter.

mlyonsd
06-20-2006, 03:04 PM
Granted...

While at a dance a club you meet an attractive young woman and spend the entire evening making love to her. The next morning you ask her name and find out she's your mother. This turns you on even more...

I wish that I had a baseball instructional video that had 1993 commercials still airing 10 times a morning during sportcenter.

ROFL ROFL ROFL I'm not sure that one can be topped.

alnorth
06-20-2006, 05:06 PM
Granted...

While at a dance a club you meet an attractive young woman and spend the entire evening making love to her. The next morning you ask her name and find out she's your mother. This turns you on even more...

I wish that I had a baseball instructional video that had 1993 commercials still airing 10 times a morning during sportcenter.

Granted. You purchase a copy of the baseball instructional video you saw on sportscenter, only to have it inexplicably ruin your DVD player ... and your TIVO ... and kill a pet goldfish named "Bubbles".

I wish people who lived in Florida didnt bitch about the cost of Homeowner's insurance.