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View Full Version : Where to live after retirement?


tommykat
06-23-2006, 07:10 PM
>>>As we all know, sometimes we come face to face with the fact that it
may
>>>be time to relocate. The big question is: where to? Here are some
tips.
>>>
>>>You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where.....
>>>
>>>1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
>>>2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in
the
>>>toilet bowl.
>>>3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
>>>4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
>>>5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face
>>>when you open your oven door.
>>>6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING
>>>ME??!!
>>>
>>>You can Live in California where...
>>>
>>>1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
>>>2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
>>>3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
>>>4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
>>>5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long
it
>>>will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
>>>
>>>You can Live in New York City where...
>>>
>>>1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
>>>2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from
Columbus
>>>Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
>>>3.You think Central Park is "nature,"
>>>4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own
language
>>>makes you multi-lingual.
>>>5. You've worn out a car horn.
>>>6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
>>>
>>>You can Live in Maine where...
>>>
>>>1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
>>>2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
>>>3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
>>>4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
>>>5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
>>>construction.
>>>
>>>You can Live in the Deep South where...
>>>
>>>1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
>>>2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
>>>3. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
>>>5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty
>>>Jean, MARY BETH, etc.
>>>
>>>You can live in Colorado where..
>>>
>>>1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
>>>2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he
stops
>>>at the day care center.
>>>3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
>>>4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
>>>
>>>You can live in the Midwest where...
>>>
>>>1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
>>>2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
>>>3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
>>>4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
>>>5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was
>>>different!"
>>>
>>>AND You can live in Florida where..
>>>
>>>1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
>>>2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and
cars.
>>>3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist. And a superb
>>>plastic surgeon.
>>>4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
>>>5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
>>>6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and snowbirds.


Gotta love Denver.ROFL

Count Alex's Wins
06-23-2006, 07:11 PM
Posting rules for Tommykat:

1. If it came from your e-mail inbox, don't post it.

tommykat
06-23-2006, 07:24 PM
Posting rules for Tommykat:

1. If it came from your e-mail inbox, don't post it.

OK so delete it.......

4th and Long
06-23-2006, 07:29 PM
OK so delete it.......
tk, it would probably be OK if you would just learn to go back and take all those damn >>> out of them.

sedated
06-23-2006, 07:34 PM
>>>>not funny

StcChief
06-23-2006, 07:45 PM
Settle for something cheap

Adept Havelock
06-23-2006, 07:49 PM
Kill two birds with one stone. After retirement, purchase and move into a mausoleum. Then wait.

Dave Lane
06-23-2006, 08:19 PM
Now there a man with vision!

Dave