Ultra Peanut
06-25-2006, 09:38 PM
OH MY GOD I CANNOT WAIT (http://www.somethingawful.com/index.php?a=3873)
Halo 3
Genre: Shoot guns while ethnic slurs are being screamed at you
Developer: Bungie
Real first-person-shooters are played with a mouse and keyboard. Come talk to me when you little kiddie console gamers are ready to graduate to real games. In the meantime I'll be fragging newbies in Quake III Rocket Arena.
Halo 3 sells a zillion copies to frat boys on Xbox 360 this Fall!
Madden 2007
Genre: Football that's not as good as the 2k series
Developer: EA Sports
Another year, another Madden. This year's ballgame promises to be the only next-gen football game thanks to strong-arm mafia-like tactics. We sat down with EA spokesperson John Muller to get the inside scoop on this year's gridiron classic.
Last year's Madden was just a warm-up! This year we are really stepping up our game to crush the competition, of which there is none so mission accomplished! We're cutting more features than ever before. Season mode? See ya! Passing plays? Gone! Texture maps? Buh-bye! We're really taking Madden back to what the core football experience is all about, watching big men too stupid to wear a helmet when they ride a motorcycle touch each other. Also, each player will have a special attribute for "closet homosexuality".
Thanks John! We'll be looking forward with anticipation to see which of our favorite game modes get cut. Madden 2007 exclusively licenses its way onto Xbox 360 this Fall!
Halo 3
Genre: Shoot guns while ethnic slurs are being screamed at you
Developer: Bungie
Real first-person-shooters are played with a mouse and keyboard. Come talk to me when you little kiddie console gamers are ready to graduate to real games. In the meantime I'll be fragging newbies in Quake III Rocket Arena.
Halo 3 sells a zillion copies to frat boys on Xbox 360 this Fall!
Madden 2007
Genre: Football that's not as good as the 2k series
Developer: EA Sports
Another year, another Madden. This year's ballgame promises to be the only next-gen football game thanks to strong-arm mafia-like tactics. We sat down with EA spokesperson John Muller to get the inside scoop on this year's gridiron classic.
Last year's Madden was just a warm-up! This year we are really stepping up our game to crush the competition, of which there is none so mission accomplished! We're cutting more features than ever before. Season mode? See ya! Passing plays? Gone! Texture maps? Buh-bye! We're really taking Madden back to what the core football experience is all about, watching big men too stupid to wear a helmet when they ride a motorcycle touch each other. Also, each player will have a special attribute for "closet homosexuality".
Thanks John! We'll be looking forward with anticipation to see which of our favorite game modes get cut. Madden 2007 exclusively licenses its way onto Xbox 360 this Fall!