PDA

View Full Version : The Old Lady and the 2 Lawyers.....


ROYC75
06-28-2006, 07:02 AM
Lawyers should never ask an Alabama grandma a
question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, Mrs. Jones, do you know me?

She responded, Why, yes, I do know you, Mr.Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will
amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. So Yes, I know you very well.

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do,he pointed across the room and asked,Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?

She again replied, Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I too know him very well.

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench
and, in a very quiet voice, said, If either of you idiots asks
her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair. :D

RedNFeisty
06-28-2006, 07:44 AM
That was very funny, I have to tell my bosss that.

Rooster
06-28-2006, 07:49 AM
:clap: That was a good one.

ROYC75
06-28-2006, 10:33 AM
DR. PHIL WAS CONDUCTING A GROUP THERAPY SESSION WITH FOUR YOUNG MOTHERS AND
THEIR SMALL CHILDREN. "YOU ALL HAVE OBSESSIONS," HE OBSERVED.

TO THE FIRST MOTHER, HE SAID, "YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH EATING... YOU'VE EVEN
NAMED YOUR DAUGHTER CANDY."

HE TURNED TO THE SECOND MOM. "YOUR OBSESSION IS WITH MONEY... AGAIN, IT
MANIFESTS ITSELF IN YOUR CHILD'S NAME, PENNY."

HE TURNS TO THE THIRD MOM. "YOUR OBSESSION IS ALCOHOL.THIS, TOO, MANIFESTS
ITSELF IN YOUR CHILD'S NAME, BRANDY."

AT THIS POINT, THE FOURTH MOTHER GETS UP TAKES HER LITTLE BOY BY THE HAND
AND WHISPERS, "COME ON DICK, WE'RE LEAVING !