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Jenny Gump
06-29-2006, 06:44 PM
bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark....

Anyone want a dog?


Ok, before you PETA-lovin' nitwits start tracing me down so you can torch my house, let me say that I am not getting rid of my puppy. I'm just bitching. And for God's sake, I am allowed to bitch every now and then (at least that's what I tell people I bitch to).

I want to yell..."SHUT UP!!!!!" but it doesn't help. I am a prisoner in my own home. No privacy. The other day, I was watching porn, and I looked over to see the mutt sitting in front of the tv watching it with me. That's not right.

I can't go to the bathroom without him following me in there. He doesn't want to go pee or poop without me in the backyard. He whines if I don't love on him enough. He eats A LOT of food. He wants to play at 5:30 in the morning. When does the madness stop????

And no....this thread isn't about JimNasium.

Jenny Gump
06-29-2006, 06:45 PM
...

hypersensitiveZO6
06-29-2006, 06:46 PM
bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark....

Anyone want a dog?


Ok, before you PETA-lovin' nitwits start tracing me down so you can torch my house, let me say that I am not getting rid of my puppy. I'm just bitching. And for God's sake, I am allowed to bitch every now and then (at least that's what I tell people I bitch to).

I want to yell..."SHUT UP!!!!!" but it doesn't help. I am a prisoner in my own home. No privacy. The other day, I was watching porn, and I looked over to see the mutt sitting in front of the tv watching it with me. That's not right.

I can't go to the bathroom without him following me in there. He doesn't want to go pee or poop without me in the backyard. He whines if I don't love on him enough. He eats A LOT of food. He wants to play at 5:30 in the morning. When does the madness stop????

And no....this thread isn't about JimNasium.


That's interesting.

Count Zarth
06-29-2006, 06:48 PM
http://www.ultimatebarkcontrol.com/

http://www.ultimatebarkcontrol.com/DS_Pro.htm

morphius
06-29-2006, 06:49 PM
Sounds like my dog could come over and keep yours company. Pulled the same shit, wouldn't go outside without us going with her. Go to the kitchen, she follows, go upstairs, she follows... And whine, OMG, all the damn time.

morphius
just not a dog person.

Jenny Gump
06-29-2006, 06:51 PM
Sounds like my dog could come over and keep yours company. Pulled the same shit, wouldn't go outside without us going with her. Go to the kitchen, she follows, go upstairs, she follows... And whine, OMG, all the damn time.

morphius
just not a dog person.

I'm afraid my dog learned too much watching the PPV with me. Your bitch probably wouldn't be safe. He still isn't very proficient in putting on a condom.

HemiEd
06-29-2006, 06:56 PM
Glad to hear you bought your kid a dog. Take it to obedience classes while it is still young, we have discovered it makes the experience much more enjoyable for us.

morphius
06-29-2006, 06:58 PM
I'm afraid my dog learned too much watching the PPV with me. Your bitch probably wouldn't be safe. He still isn't very proficient in putting on a condom.
Luckily she is fixed, sadly your dog is probably a bit small...

stevieray
06-29-2006, 07:02 PM
...

I don't know...if you put glasses on that puppy...

Jenny Gump
06-29-2006, 07:03 PM
I don't know...if you put glasses on that puppy...

You are so going to hell. LMAO

Moooo
06-29-2006, 07:03 PM
...

You got a dog of the hound persuasion... There's the problem.

He'll outgrow it in a year or so...

Moooo

Jenny Gump
06-29-2006, 07:04 PM
You got a dog of the hound persuasion... There's the problem.

He'll outgrow it in a year or so...

Moooo

How much would it cost to kennel for a year?

Moooo
06-29-2006, 07:05 PM
How much would it cost to kennel for a year?

More than it would to trade him in for a basenji (barkless dog).

Moooo

Jenny Gump
06-29-2006, 07:05 PM
More than it would to trade him in for a basenji (barkless dog).

Moooo

Can't I just get his vocal cords removed? That's what I did to my son when he started talking.

Bootlegged
06-29-2006, 07:06 PM
blah blah blah, woman watching porn, blah blah blah

Moooo
06-29-2006, 07:07 PM
Can't I just get his vocal cords removed? That's what I did to my son when he started talking.

Okay, NOW PETA is gonna be all over your case... lol

Moooo

Jenny Gump
06-29-2006, 07:08 PM
blah blah blah, woman watching porn, blah blah blah

I'm encouraged that you know how to spell "blah".

Count Zarth
06-29-2006, 07:09 PM
Can't I just get his vocal cords removed? That's what I did to my son when he started talking.

http://www.ultimatebarkcontrol.com/

http://www.ultimatebarkcontrol.com/DS_Pro.htm

Also, PPV is just about the worst way to watch porn.

I recently found http://empornium.us

Porn in HD!

Bootlegged
06-29-2006, 07:15 PM
I'm encouraged that you know how to spell "blah".

Great. Thanks, Ed.

Moooo
06-29-2006, 07:16 PM
Great. Thanks, Ed.

She doesn't get that all you have to do is spell "halb" backwards...

Moooo

Ari Chi3fs
06-29-2006, 07:22 PM
Is JennyGUmp the new GoChiefs?

Psyko Tek
06-29-2006, 07:44 PM
through the pup outside

make sure he(?) knows inside is a treat and outside is where a dog goes

will cut down on all your problems

Bwana
06-29-2006, 08:20 PM
Bark, ZAP!!.........nothing.

MahiMike
06-29-2006, 08:25 PM
Could be worse. If he was a hairlipped dog, he'd say...

MARK! MARK! MARK!

dtebbe
06-29-2006, 08:28 PM
Bark, ZAP!!.........nothing.

I'll never forget the first time I put one of these on my dog. He barked, jumped streight up in the air and kept looking back at his ass, like something bit him there. I laughed for hours.

He did stop barking.

Now the poor old bastard is 13 and deaf. He never barks, I guess because he can't hear anything to bark at.

DT

Baconeater
06-29-2006, 08:32 PM
http://images.favoritehardware.com/acehardware/w280/ace-all-purpose-duck-tape-24-pac-1273392.jpg

Moooo
06-29-2006, 08:34 PM
http://images.favoritehardware.com/acehardware/w280/ace-all-purpose-duck-tape-24-pac-1273392.jpg

How does DUCK tape work on a dog...

Moooo

Count Zarth
06-29-2006, 08:46 PM
This thread reminds me of an incident of hilarity that will be lost to Chiefsplanet Oblivion.

BARK BARK! BARK BARK!

http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/6343/lassie0iy.gif (http://imageshack.us)

tommykat
06-29-2006, 08:59 PM
I now see why you and Jim get along. First off, take the dog to Jims house so his dog has a playmate......as you don't? :rolleyes: Anyway, after cutting his hair today per you say "don't shave it all off" Now you have something to grab when you are yelling " oh oh yes" :D

Halfcan
06-29-2006, 09:02 PM
I didn't get past the part where you were watching porn-whats this all about-something about a dog....

OldTownChief
06-29-2006, 09:34 PM
I now see why you and Jim get along. First off, take the dog to Jims house so his dog has a playmate......as you don't? :rolleyes: Anyway, after cutting his hair today per you say "don't shave it all off" Now you have something to grab when you are yelling " oh oh yes" :D

I read this twice and.......Oh, never mind.

Bwana
06-29-2006, 11:02 PM
I now see why you and Jim get along. First off, take the dog to Jims house so his dog has a playmate......as you don't? :rolleyes: Anyway, after cutting his hair today per you say "don't shave it all off" Now you have something to grab when you are yelling " oh oh yes" :D

Gulp! :eek:

Nzoner
06-29-2006, 11:14 PM
The other day, I was watching porn, and I looked over to see the mutt sitting in front of the tv watching it with me. That's not right.

Maybe the mutt was just trying to pick up some doggie style tips.

He wants to play at 5:30 in the morning.

I'd defintely ban the mutt's porn viewing.

BigMeatballDave
06-30-2006, 12:48 AM
blah blah blah, woman watching porn, blah blah blahYeah, thats all I got out of this, too...

SPchief
06-30-2006, 07:37 AM
I now see why you and Jim get along. First off, take the dog to Jims house so his dog has a playmate......as you don't? :rolleyes: Anyway, after cutting his hair today per you say "don't shave it all off" Now you have something to grab when you are yelling " oh oh yes" :D


I know tommykats posts are usually hard to read, but this one really has either no point or needs a decoder ring for it.

edit: damnit bwana :cuss:

sedated
06-30-2006, 07:38 AM
red rocket.

he just hasn't been milked enough

Lzen
06-30-2006, 08:40 AM
Bark, ZAP!!.........nothing.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!! ROFL

My friend had one of those and I borrowed it for my dog. She was climbing over the chain link fence.......yes, I said the chain link fence. Anyhoo, it was hilarious the first time I used it. She pissed herself right on the spot. ROFL However, she's smarter than she lets on. She would wait until she knew I wasn't around and then climb over. I've since built a 6' privacy fence.

I was just gonna suggest that Jenny put a muzzle on the mut.

Lzen
06-30-2006, 08:44 AM
Luckily she is fixed, sadly your dog is probably a bit small...

I imagine it would work something like this.

Braincase
06-30-2006, 08:46 AM
This thread has more potential than I thought...

Lassie
06-30-2006, 02:53 PM
bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark....



Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark wuff wuff bark bark bark bark

JimNasium
06-30-2006, 03:01 PM
Gulp! :eek:
Strangely enough I seemed to follow her post without any problem.

Jenny Gump
06-30-2006, 03:10 PM
Could be worse. If he was a hairlipped dog, he'd say...

MARK! MARK! MARK!

ROFL

Jenny Gump
06-30-2006, 03:15 PM
I now see why you and Jim get along. First off, take the dog to Jims house so his dog has a playmate......as you don't? :rolleyes: Anyway, after cutting his hair today per you say "don't shave it all off" Now you have something to grab when you are yelling " oh oh yes" :D

He wanted you to wax him, but I drew the line. (BTW, I follow this fine, because I have the decoder ring ver. 3.1.2)

Boyceofsummer
06-30-2006, 03:18 PM
What kind of (breed) of dog?

Jenny Gump
06-30-2006, 03:27 PM
What kind of (breed) of dog?

basset. cute as hell.

RedNFeisty
06-30-2006, 03:29 PM
basset. cute as hell.


We have a Beagel with the most annoying bark, the previous owner used a shock collar, I have it if you would like to try it. I have never use it though, it even has a video to show the proper way to send your dog yelping and jumping to the heavens.

Jenny Gump
06-30-2006, 03:30 PM
We have a Beagel with the most annoying bark, the previous owner used a shock collar, I have it if you would like to try it. I have never use it though, it even has a video to show the proper way to send your dog yelping and jumping to the heavens.

That sounds great. You sure Clint won't miss it?

RedNFeisty
06-30-2006, 03:33 PM
That sounds great. You sure Clint won't miss it?

You know, I never thought to use it on him. Damn girl, I have missed you!!

keg in kc
06-30-2006, 04:30 PM
Jenny, I'm sorry. No matter how much you bark, I'm still not going to pet you.

JimNasium
06-30-2006, 04:46 PM
Jenny, I'm sorry. No matter how much you bark, I'm still not going to pet you.
I only pet her when she meows.http://www.zillion.co.nz/utils/get-image.php?ItemImageID=6298&ImageType=2

|Zach|
06-30-2006, 05:07 PM
I am barely responsible enough for myself...to put another living being in my posession?

Not a good idea.

Jenny Gump
07-01-2006, 10:08 AM
I am barely responsible enough for myself...to put another living being in my posession?

Not a good idea.

Yeah. I've seen you with a plate of cheese fries.

|Zach|
07-01-2006, 10:10 AM
Yeah. I've seen you with a plate of cheese fries.
Mmhmm, I will play you little game. We can act like it wasn't you who dominated those fries like there was going to be a worldwide fry famine.

Jenny Gump
07-01-2006, 08:22 PM
Mmhmm, I will play you little game. We can act like it wasn't you who dominated those fries like there was going to be a worldwide fry famine.

Bastard. Some truths don't need to be told.