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View Full Version : My daughter wants to have a sleep over


bogie
07-14-2006, 06:01 PM
My daughter is 8 years old. There's an 8 year old boy that lives up the street from us that she's friends with. He's a good kid. She wants to have a sleep over with him and I must admit I'm concerned. If the sleep over did happen, it would be at my house. Should an 8 year old girl have a sleep over with an 8 year boy? What's your opinion?

cdcox
07-14-2006, 06:04 PM
It depends. Do you want your 13 yo daughter to have a sleep over with a 13 yo boy? Or do you want your daughter to go to coed sleep overs with many girls and boys? If not, you need to set the rule now.

58-4ever
07-14-2006, 06:04 PM
I wouldn't let it happen. I was 6 when I first started investigating.

bogie
07-14-2006, 06:06 PM
It depends. Do you want your 13 yo daughter to have a sleep over with a 13 yo boy? Or do you want your daughter to go to coed sleep overs with many girls and boys? If not, you need to set the rule now.

What reason do I use if I say no?

bogie
07-14-2006, 06:07 PM
cdcox and 58-4ever do you have children?

KC Dan
07-14-2006, 06:07 PM
What reason do I use if I say no?
Your'e her father - "NO", reason enough

cdcox
07-14-2006, 06:09 PM
What reason do I use if I say no?

Boys and girls can be friends, but they shouldn't sleep at each others houses until they are married.

I've got a 16 yo daughter.

bogie
07-14-2006, 06:10 PM
Your'e her father - "NO", reason enough

I appreciate that, but don't agree. I like to have reasons for my decisions.

bogie
07-14-2006, 06:11 PM
Boys and girls can be friends, but they shouldn't sleep at each others houses until they are married.

I've got a 16 yo daughter.

That's a good answer.

Mecca
07-14-2006, 06:11 PM
Boys and girls can be friends, but they shouldn't sleep at each others houses until they are married.

I've got a 16 yo daughter.

Wow.........girls slept at my house in a pretty frequent fashion from the time I was 16 till well now.

KC Dan
07-14-2006, 06:13 PM
I appreciate that, but don't agree. I like to have reasons for my decisions.In principle, I agree with you but I have a 20yr old and later on say -- 13-14 yrs old, your daughter will have been trained to receive a reason response for your edicts. And, then she will question most if not all of your decisions that she doesn't agree with. Good luck with that...

HemiEd
07-14-2006, 06:16 PM
I would say no, I raised two daughters. Have her invite some of her girlfriends but the boys should not be invited IMO.

Mecca
07-14-2006, 06:18 PM
The only reason I'm sort of amused by this is do you really think the 2 8 year old kids are thinking about this in nearly the sexual fashion we are? I think about as sexual as that gets is "uh you show me yours and I'll show you mine".

Nzoner
07-14-2006, 06:19 PM
Boys and girls can be friends, but they shouldn't sleep at each others houses until they are married.

I've got a 16 yo daughter.

I can just see a teen's reasoning with that,"dad said we couldn't sleep at each other's houses but he said nothing about the backseat."

bogie
07-14-2006, 06:19 PM
She already wants to questions my decisions. If I give her a reason in the beginning, she knows my mind is made up. I am looking forward to her growing up, but not looking forward to some of the challenges ahead.

bogie
07-14-2006, 06:22 PM
The only reason I'm sort of amused by this is do you really think the 2 8 year old kids are thinking about this in nearly the sexual fashion we are? I think about as sexual as that gets is "uh you show me yours and I'll show you mine".

I'm not really worried about my kid. I am worried about the little boy though.

bogie
07-14-2006, 06:23 PM
I can just see a teen's reasoning with that,"dad said we couldn't sleep at each other's houses but he said nothing about the backseat."

crap.

cdcox
07-14-2006, 06:23 PM
Wow.........girls slept at my house in a pretty frequent fashion from the time I was 16 till well now.

I know some kids these days have coed sleepovers that are more or less platonic, but I'm not comfortable with that idea. I'm certainly not going to provide a convenient place for her to fornicate.

When we were dating in college, my wife used to come visit me during the summer. She'd stay at my parent's house, but in the guest bedroom. Even during the day, we were expected to stay in public parts of the house (family room, kitchen, etc) when we were together. I respected my parents and their decision under their roof. We're raising our daughter to do the same.

Mecca
07-14-2006, 06:24 PM
I'm not really worried about my kid. I am worried about the little boy though.

Just show him a big knife and tell him you'll cut his ding a ling off if your daughter sees it. That should keep it in his pants till he's atleast 17.

Mecca
07-14-2006, 06:25 PM
I know some kids these days have coed sleepovers that are more or less platonic, but I'm not comfortable with that idea. I'm certainly not going to provide a convenient place for her to fornicate.

When we were dating in college, my wife used to come visit me during the summer. She'd stay at my parent's house, but in the guest bedroom. Even during the day, we were expected to stay in public parts of the house (family room, kitchen, etc) when we were together. I respected my parents and their decision under their roof. We're raising our daughter to do the same.

LOL.....see I always had a completely seperate floor from everyone else. And when girls slept over they always well slept in my bed, my parents never cared to much, but then again I'm a male and not a female.

bogie
07-14-2006, 06:25 PM
I know some kids these days have coed sleepovers that are more or less platonic, but I'm not comfortable with that idea. I'm certainly not going to provide a convenient place for her to fornicate.

When we were dating in college, my wife used to come visit me during the summer. She'd stay at my parent's house, but in the guest bedroom. Even during the day, we were expected to stay in public parts of the house (family room, kitchen, etc) when we were together. I respected my parents and their decision under their roof. We're raising our daughter to do the same.

I was raised the same and completely agree.

big nasty kcnut
07-14-2006, 06:26 PM
Ok tell her that she can go play at the boy house but she can't sleep over with him cause he might not like to sleep over by himself.

bogie
07-14-2006, 06:27 PM
Just show him a big knife and tell him you'll cut his ding a ling off if your daughter sees it. That should keep it in his pants till he's atleast 17.

I'll be doing that when her dates come to pick her up.

Nzoner
07-14-2006, 06:28 PM
LOL.....see I always had a completely seperate floor from everyone else. And when girls slept over they always well slept in my bed, my parents never cared to much, but then again I'm a male and not a female.

Like bogie said it's not his daughter he's worried about.

I can't imagine having a daughter now knowing how I was as a hormone raging teenage boy.

Mecca
07-14-2006, 06:28 PM
I'll be doing that when her dates come to pick her up.
ROFL, that will work on the small child now......I don't think it will work on the 16-17 year old kid. I'd probably react by saying to the girl "your old man is weird". Then totally forget about it and go about my business.

bogie
07-14-2006, 06:29 PM
Ok tell her that she can go play at the boy house but she can't sleep over with him cause he might not like to sleep over by himself.

not sure I follow this...

Mecca
07-14-2006, 06:30 PM
Like bogie said it's not his daughter he's worried about.

I can't imagine having a daughter now knowing how I was as a hormone raging teenage boy.

And there it is, the biggest misconception of all time. WOMEN ARE HORNY TOO! There's a reason some chicks are sluts, there's a reason things happen. Alot of women are every bit as horny as men are, just alot of people especially guys with daughters don't like to know that.

bogie
07-14-2006, 06:31 PM
ROFL, that will work on the small child now......I don't think it will work on the 16-17 year old kid. I'd probably react by saying to the girl "your old man is weird". Then totally forget about it and go about my business.

Mecca, you're scaring the shit out of me. I've said before, I hope my daughter grows up smart and ugly.

cdcox
07-14-2006, 06:31 PM
I can just see a teen's reasoning with that,"dad said we couldn't sleep at each other's houses but he said nothing about the backseat."

I'm realistic. My daughter is definitely interested in boys, but she is pretty hard nosed when she thinks about them making sexual advances toward her (Quote: "I'll staple his balls to a tree"). I'm sure that will change sooner rather than later. Some kids remain celibate until marriange. Most don't. But one thing is for sure, I'm not going to send a message that it is okay, and provide a place under my own roof to do it.

Hydrae
07-14-2006, 06:33 PM
I see no problem as long as while they are awake, they are supervised and when they go to sleep later, it is in seperate rooms (like he sleeps on the couch). My 11 year old has girls he plays with (no, not that way, he's still a kid!) but only with his door open so we can check on them anytime we want.

Now by the same token, another son (now 15) got himself in all kinds of trouble at the age of 6 when he was caught behind the house with his pants down while he and a neighbor girl were doing the "show me yours and I'll show you mine" routine. The part that surprised me is that she initiated it! ROFL

Nzoner
07-14-2006, 06:35 PM
And there it is, the biggest misconception of all time. WOMEN ARE HORNY TOO! There's a reason some chicks are sluts, there's a reason things happen. Alot of women are every bit as horny as men are, just alot of people especially guys with daughters don't like to know that.

No misconception here I simply would not want to be the father of a girl as it's the mis-contraception that would worry me more.

Nzoner
07-14-2006, 06:37 PM
I'm realistic. My daughter is definitely interested in boys, but she is pretty hard nosed when she thinks about them making sexual advances toward her (Quote: "I'll staple his balls to a tree"). I'm sure that will change sooner rather than later. Some kids remain celibate until marriange. Most don't. But one thing is for sure, I'm not going to send a message that it is okay, and provide a place under my own roof to do it.

Dude I was being an ass as usual,personally,I think what you're doing is right on.I just opted not to have kids at all so I probably shouldn't even be a part of this discussion.

Mecca
07-14-2006, 06:37 PM
Mecca, you're scaring the shit out of me. I've said before, I hope my daughter grows up smart and ugly.

Basically you have to teach your daughter well and kind of let her be her own person. That's my experiences from the girls/women I know. The ones that were extremely strapped down by their parents were alot more likely to do freaky shit right away just because they knew it would piss off their parents. Being overbearing and freaking out on a girls date is a good way to get her to bring home a guy she knows you won't like on purpose.

cdcox
07-14-2006, 06:38 PM
The only reason I'm sort of amused by this is do you really think the 2 8 year old kids are thinking about this in nearly the sexual fashion we are? I think about as sexual as that gets is "uh you show me yours and I'll show you mine".

The problem is that the 8 yo will become a 13 yo. If you allow coed sleepovers now, its pretty tough to change to a more restrictive policy later. If bogie sets the policy in his house now, his daughter won't expect to be able to do it later. If bogie doesn't care about his future 13 yo or 16 yo daughter having a coed sleepover, then it would be fine to have a coed sleep over now.

KC Dan
07-14-2006, 06:39 PM
Dude I was being an ass as usual,personally,I think what you're doing is right on.I just opted not to have kids at all so I probably shouldn't even be a part of this discussion.
now if we can only apply this to jAZ & mememymymimi

ROFL

HemiEd
07-14-2006, 06:41 PM
I'll be doing that when her dates come to pick her up.

A mistake that I made and regret to this day.

Mecca
07-14-2006, 06:41 PM
The problem is that the 8 yo will become a 13 yo. If you allow coed sleepovers now, its pretty tough to change to a more restrictive policy later. If bogie sets the policy in his house now, his daughter won't expect to be able to do it later. If bogie doesn't care about his future 13 yo or 16 yo daughter having a coed sleepover, then it would be fine to have a coed sleep over now.

And that's the thing you have to decide what kind of parent you are. I know my parents always trusted me to not do anything overly stupid. Hell I had a girl live with me for 2 months because she needed a place to stay they were fine with her staying in our house at the time. And after all this and them being fine with girls sleeping here I have no kids and no diseases LOL.

It's just a matter of teach your kids well and things will be ok, I'm glad my parents have never been overbearing and pretty much let me do my thing because they had trust in me.

Hydrae
07-14-2006, 06:44 PM
A mistake that I made and regret to this day.

Sounds like the start to an interesting story. Please, do continue. :)

bogie
07-14-2006, 06:44 PM
Basically you have to teach your daughter well and kind of let her be her own person. That's my experiences from the girls/women I know. The ones that were extremely strapped down by their parents were alot more likely to do freaky shit right away just because they knew it would piss off their parents. Being overbearing and freaking out on a girls date is a good way to get her to bring home a guy she knows you won't like on purpose.

All sound advise. I try not to be overbearing. Of course she's only 8 so I haven't had too many reasons to be overbearing yet.

bogie
07-14-2006, 06:46 PM
A mistake that I made and regret to this day.

I know, I'm not going to do it. But I'd like to. What happened in your case?

HemiEd
07-14-2006, 06:52 PM
Sounds like the start to an interesting story. Please, do continue. :)

I was mean as hell to the strange looking little ****ers that came to the house to call on my youngest daughter. Their profile did not fit what I perceived as the ideal young man to be seeing my daughter, she was my baby. They just quit coming to the house in the open and would meet other places, unsupervised. In retrospect, I should have cultivated it and got to know them, some of them probably turned out to be good prospects. The two guys she ended up getting hooked up with sure were not, worthless poorly raised pieces of shit. She is raising two sons by herself now.

Mecca
07-14-2006, 06:54 PM
And Ed basically backs up exactly what I said about freaking out on your daughters dates.....

memyselfI
07-14-2006, 06:54 PM
Diffuse the potential ackwardness by inviting a few more kids.

Mr. Laz
07-14-2006, 06:55 PM
8 years old is very borerline imo

6 and younger is prolly safe


maybe say "no" on the sleepover but distract by having him spend the day and eat dinner or something.


at 8 years old you need to be setting some boundaries about personal space etc imo.

bogie
07-14-2006, 06:55 PM
I was mean as hell to the strange looking little ****ers that came to the house to call on my youngest daughter. Their profile did not fit what I perceived as the ideal young man to be seeing my daughter, she was my baby. They just quit coming to the house in the open and would meet other places, unsupervised. In retrospect, I should have cultivated it and got to know them, some of them probably turned out to be good prospects. The two guys she ended up getting hooked up with sure were not, worthless poorly raised pieces of shit. She is raising two sons by herself now.

I will take this to heart.

memyselfI
07-14-2006, 06:56 PM
The problem is that the 8 yo will become a 13 yo. If you allow coed sleepovers now, its pretty tough to change to a more restrictive policy later. If bogie sets the policy in his house now, his daughter won't expect to be able to do it later. If bogie doesn't care about his future 13 yo or 16 yo daughter having a coed sleepover, then it would be fine to have a coed sleep over now.

Not so. Because once they hit Jr. High they automatically start changing things. They have different gym classes and boys and girls start hanging in cliques.

Mr. Laz
07-14-2006, 06:57 PM
Diffuse the potential ackwardness by inviting a few more kids.

good idea ..... and then make a point of having the girls sleep in one location and the boys sleep in another.


then you can tell your daughter that she is old enough that boys and girls don't sleep together etc,etc. (go has far as you feel comfortable with the elaboration)

HemiEd
07-14-2006, 06:58 PM
I will take this to heart.

I hope it helps you, and wish I could do it over.

bogie
07-14-2006, 07:00 PM
Diffuse the potential ackwardness by inviting a few more kids.

I can hardly handle having one extra for a sleep over.

memyselfI
07-14-2006, 07:01 PM
good idea ..... and then make a point of having the girls sleep in one location and the boys sleep in another.


then you can tell your daughter that she is old enough that boys and girls don't sleep together etc,etc. (go has far and you feel comfortable with the elaboration)

Exactly. The kids can party together until 10:00 or 11:00 and then they break up and sleep in different quarters. You need ample supervision for this but it can work.

bogie
07-14-2006, 07:02 PM
8 years old is very borerline imo

6 and younger is prolly safe


maybe say "no" on the sleepover but distract by having him spend the day and eat dinner or something.


at 8 years old you need to be setting some boundaries about personal space etc imo.

I tend to agree.

memyselfI
07-14-2006, 07:02 PM
I can hardly handle having one extra for a sleep over.

If you keep them busy with videos or video games and pizza and tell them that they are going to bed at a certain time and anyone who isn't willing to follow the rules will have their parents called to be picked up, you'd be amazed at how easy it is to have a few kids over.

stevieray
07-14-2006, 07:03 PM
As a father, you are four things

a king..to provide
a warrior..to protect
a mentor..to teach
a friend..to connect

You'll make the right decision.

stevieray
07-14-2006, 07:05 PM
at 8 years old you need to be setting some boundaries about personal space etc imo.


I agree...including privacy.

bogie
07-14-2006, 07:08 PM
If you keep them busy with videos or video games and pizza and tell them that they are going to bed at a certain time and anyone who isn't willing to follow the rules will have their parents called to be picked up, you'd be amazed at how easy it is to have a few kids over.

This is a good idea. I don't think it will work well with my daughter. She doesn't do well with groups. When a group of her friends get together, she tends to pull away. She's great with all of her friends one on one, but not when they're all together in a group.

Mr. Laz
07-14-2006, 07:08 PM
I agree...including privacy.

yep, close the door when you change clothing,bathroom etc

shorts under dresses, don't lift you dress

personal spots on body

cdcox
07-14-2006, 07:09 PM
Not so. Because once they hit Jr. High they automatically start changing things. They have different gym classes and boys and girls start hanging in cliques.

Some kids do, but others don't. My daughter has a good platonic male friend and a larger group of kids she hangs out with that is a mixed group of guys and girls, not all of whom are dating. I think this is great, but would not be comfortable with coed sleepovers. Some kids these days do have platonic coed sleepovers.

bogie
07-14-2006, 07:09 PM
As a father, you are four things

a king..to provide
a warrior..to protect
a mentor..to teach
a friend..to connect

You'll make the right decision.

Thanks!

memyselfI
07-14-2006, 07:11 PM
This is a good idea. I don't think it will work well with my daughter. She doesn't do well with groups. When a group of her friends get together, she tends to pull away. She's great with all of her friends one on one, but not when they're all together in a group.

Well then the answer would be no. Don't have a single boy stay over with your daughter. My suggestion would be ask the boy over for dinner and a movie or other event. Make it a late evening, like 10:30 or 11:00. They will both be so tired that when you are driving him home they'll be dozing off in the car.

Mr. Laz
07-14-2006, 07:11 PM
This is a good idea. I don't think it will work well with my daughter. She doesn't do well with groups. When a group of her friends get together, she tends to pull away. She's great with all of her friends one on one, but not when they're all together in a group.
maybe it would be a good chance to work on her group interaction skills then.

just a suggestion ... do what you feel best.

bogie
07-14-2006, 07:13 PM
Well then the answer would be no. Don't have a single boy stay over with your daughter. My suggestion would be ask the boy over for dinner and a movie or other event. Make it a late evening, like 10:30 or 11:00. They will both be so tired that when you are driving him home they'll be dozing off in the car.


No it is.

HemiEd
07-14-2006, 07:13 PM
Well then the answer would be no. Don't have a single boy stay over with your daughter. My suggestion would be ask the boy over for dinner and a movie or other event. Make it a late evening, like 10:30 or 11:00. They will both be so tired that when you are driving him home they'll be dozing off in the car.


I can not believe I am saying this but I agree with memyselfI.

jettio
07-14-2006, 07:14 PM
If you change your mind and allow the sleepover, I hope you or the wife will tell the daughter to quit calling the little boy every hour on the hour afterwards, sheesh.

memyselfI
07-14-2006, 07:15 PM
And since he lives up the street tell him he's welcome back for breakfast in the morning...

Hydrae
07-14-2006, 07:17 PM
Have you talked with the parents of the boy? Presenting the decision from a united front from both sets of parents will keep any arguements to a minimum.

bogie
07-14-2006, 07:25 PM
maybe it would be a good chance to work on her group interaction skills then.

just a suggestion ... do what you feel best.

We do work on her interactive skills. We are friends with the parents of most of her friends and will often have parties with parents and kids. She's improving. When all the kids get together it becomes kind of competetive about what games they play, activities, attention etc. Her friends are very outgoing and she's very quiet. She doesn't like to compete, unless she swimming. She loves to race her friends in the pool because she can beat them all.

Mr. Flopnuts
07-14-2006, 07:25 PM
I don't have kids. I will say that at 8 yrs old it would have been inappropriate for me, and I don't think I was too different than the average 8 yr old. I would say that if I did have kids I would want to teach this lesson sooner rather than later.

bogie
07-14-2006, 07:28 PM
Have you talked with the parents of the boy? Presenting the decision from a united front from both sets of parents will keep any arguements to a minimum.

We have. They're cool with it, but understand if we don't allow it.

bogie
07-14-2006, 07:28 PM
And since he lives up the street tell him he's welcome back for breakfast in the morning...

That's a very good idea.

BucEyedPea
07-14-2006, 07:30 PM
I allowed it when my daughter was 3 with the boy next door. But in the middle of the night the doorbell rang with her crying and his older sister bringing her home.

But 8...I'd say no and none thereafter.

bogie
07-14-2006, 07:31 PM
I don't have kids. I will say that at 8 yrs old it would have been inappropriate for me, and I don't think I was too different than the average 8 yr old. I would say that if I did have kids I would want to teach this lesson sooner rather than later.

I don't remember being 8 years old. For some reason, I have very little memory earlier than 4th grade.

ZepSinger
07-14-2006, 07:37 PM
I have 3 daughters, age 4 thru 8.
Not in a million years. Well, at least not for 15-20.

Z

memyselfI
07-14-2006, 07:43 PM
We have. They're cool with it, but understand if we don't allow it.

Well, if it makes you feel any better, a Minister (Christian) and his wife we know has had elementary aged co-ed sleepovers at his house with no problem. The key is lots of supervision and guidelines.

bogie
07-14-2006, 07:57 PM
Well, if it makes you feel any better, a Minister (Christian) and his wife we know has had elementary aged co-ed sleepovers at his house with no problem. The key is lots of supervision and guidelines.

I'm not sure how you supervise a group at 4:00 AM unless I'm in the room with them.

go bowe
07-14-2006, 08:00 PM
Well, if it makes you feel any better, a Minister (Christian) and his wife we know has had elementary aged co-ed sleepovers at his house with no problem. The key is lots of supervision and guidelines. minister (Christian)?

it's sad that you had to say it that way...

but around here...

mcan
07-14-2006, 08:08 PM
I'm pretty much for the idea of letting your kids do whatever as long as they are safe and know what is/is not appropriate.

My parents aren't very logical people. They make decisions based upon what is EASIEST for them, and not necessarily what is best, or even what is acceptable. Just what is easiest. Also, I had a couple of friends from football and stuff whos parents pretty much loved me and didn't care if I stayed there all the time. But my parents would be like: Didn't you sleep over there two days ago? Well, then... No...

It was picking apart my parent's shitty logic that made me develop into a reasonable person though, so I guess it wasn't all bad.

BucEyedPea
07-14-2006, 08:19 PM
Wow.........girls slept at my house in a pretty frequent fashion from the time I was 16 till well now.
Ya' know what will cure you....having a daughter. :p :hmmm:

hypersensitiveZO6
07-14-2006, 08:21 PM
No, you really can't do that. As harmless as it is, you can't let little girls or boys get that mindset. If you let that happen, it will just lead to many problems in the future. He can come over to your house, but now stay over. I also reccomend rules like not shutting doors. I reccomend something like a camping trip. It would be appropriate and you could moniter the situation easily.

Jim Jones
07-14-2006, 08:34 PM
I don't agree with this "dont be overbearing" crap. Look at all these teen sluts that end up Maury Povich and Jenny Jones, the excuse that EVERY SINGLE ONE of them uses is that their parents let them do whatever they want and dont set any rules for them.

8 year olds sleeping over just aint right and it sets a bad predicent for the future. If theyre sleeping over at 8, what's happening at 16? You gotta put your foot down now. And sure, a few people here will tell you that it will cause them to rebel.. but theyve got a lot better chance of rebelling if you just let them do whatever they want.

Iowanian
07-14-2006, 09:33 PM
I'd ask myself 1 question...is this boy more likely to be her prom date in 10 years, or her hair dresser in 12?

If he doesn't color coordinate his clothes now, its probably not sleepover night.

Maybe you could compromise, and have a "campout" in your back yard...put up a tent, make a fire, cook mellows, and stay out there with them....for their own protection from polar bears or whatnot.

Iowanian
07-14-2006, 09:35 PM
Ya' know what will cure you....having a daughter. :p :hmmm:

...or finding his corpse being covered with soil and dried oak leaves if he was caught trying that with the daughter of a man like me.

boys...no good somesabitches.

wutamess
07-14-2006, 11:14 PM
I can't believe you 're even pondering the freaking question. The answer is, "HELL NO" he can't sleep over.

And the reason is.... you're daddy, you pay the bills and she lives under your roof.

If you need an explanation because you can't sack up to your daughter, tell her because you said so. If that doesn't work then you'll be questioned all of your life about why you made this decision or that decision. Then you're forced to explain something that you might not want to explain at the current moment (like sex).

I have a 9yo daughter and her 10 yo male cousin can't even sleep over. Matter of fact, we don't let her sleep over or rarely let anyone else sleep over here outside of my niece. Why? because I used to sleep over at my 2nd cousin by marriage and we used to "experiement" at the age of 5+. We didn't do anything but it was more dry humping & you show me yours, etc. Kids are more advanced than you think.

My daughter already knows, we don't do sleepovers unless it's over my sisters house, my mothers house, or our house (no friends just niece & nephew).

Case and point, one of her best friends had a slumber party/sleepover for her B-Day. We'll pick her up as late as 11pm but she's not spending the night. Too many sickos that appear to be innocent. Ask the Catholic religion.

1. You never fatten frogs for snakes. I know you think now it's an innocent 8 yo sleepover. When do the male/female sleepovers stop? What about when she's 16 etc? Do they still do the sleep over thing?

2. You're just asking for trouble by starting the sleep over thing. You can be accused of all kinds of sexual stuff by any kid (even though you may not have done anything) why even chance it and add the drama in your life? Vice versa, someone could molest your daughter (you sure as hell don't want that). And it's all your word against theirs. Even if you didn't do anything, how do you think that makes people look at you even if you're cleared?

Not everything requires an explanation (she's a KID) and she'll understand why you've always said no later in life. You're an ADULT, start acting like one.

~ Can't believe you're even considering it.

Guru
07-14-2006, 11:17 PM
Your'e her father - "NO", reason enough


I agree with this.

Some things just plain do not require a reason spelled out for them.

Moooo
07-14-2006, 11:17 PM
I would talk to their parents. See what kind of people they are, and what they think of it.

Also, just because he sleeps over doesn't mean they have to sleep beside each other. You can have him sleep in another room or something. If she questions why, it will be a little easier than explaining why he can't stay over at all...

Moooo

Immaculate
07-14-2006, 11:33 PM
Can I come?

chubychecker
07-14-2006, 11:36 PM
I can't believe you 're even pondering the freaking question. The answer is, "HELL NO" he can't sleep over.

And the reason is.... you're daddy, you pay the bills and she lives under your roof.

If you need an explanation because you can't sack up to your daughter, tell her because you said so. If that doesn't work then you'll be questioned all of your life about why you made this decision or that decision. Then you're forced to explain something that you might not want to explain at the current moment (like sex).

I have a 9yo daughter and her 10 yo male cousin can't even sleep over. Matter of fact, we don't let her sleep over or rarely let anyone else sleep over here outside of my niece. Why? because I used to sleep over at my 2nd cousin by marriage and we used to "experiement" at the age of 5+. We didn't do anything but it was more dry humping & you show me yours, etc. Kids are more advanced than you think.

My daughter already knows, we don't do sleepovers unless it's over my sisters house, my mothers house, or our house (no friends just niece & nephew).

Case and point, one of her best friends had a slumber party/sleepover for her B-Day. We'll pick her up as late as 11pm but she's not spending the night. Too many sickos that appear to be innocent. Ask the Catholic religion.

1. You never fatten frogs for snakes. I know you think now it's an innocent 8 yo sleepover. When do the male/female sleepovers stop? What about when she's 16 etc? Do they still do the sleep over thing?

2. You're just asking for trouble by starting the sleep over thing. You can be accused of all kinds of sexual stuff by any kid (even though you may not have done anything) why even chance it and add the drama in your life? Vice versa, someone could molest your daughter (you sure as hell don't want that). And it's all your word against theirs. Even if you didn't do anything, how do you think that makes people look at you even if you're cleared?

Not everything requires an explanation (she's a KID) and she'll understand why you've always said no later in life. You're an ADULT, start acting like one.

~ Can't believe you're even considering it.

There is therapy for issues like this.

wutamess
07-14-2006, 11:46 PM
There is therapy for issues like this.

I knew some bunghole would mis interpret some of this.

LiL stumppy
07-15-2006, 12:08 AM
I wouldn't worry about it.But then again I have never been a parent.Thats coming from the kid view.

Pitt Gorilla
07-15-2006, 12:13 AM
Just show him a big knife and tell him you'll cut his ding a ling off if your daughter sees it. That should keep it in his pants till he's atleast 17.Does that ever work? Hostile fathers never really bothered me.

chubychecker
07-15-2006, 12:15 AM
Does that ever work? Hostile fathers never really bothered me.
Yep that would've just egged me on.

KS Smitty
07-15-2006, 12:19 AM
My daughter is 8 years old. There's an 8 year old boy that lives up the street from us that she's friends with. He's a good kid. She wants to have a sleep over with him and I must admit I'm concerned. If the sleep over did happen, it would be at my house. Should an 8 year old girl have a sleep over with an 8 year boy? What's your opinion?

I have 21 & 14 year old daughters and honestly, at age 8 they could have had sleepovers with a male friend/relative and it wouldn't have bothered us at all. I have had male friends all my life and didn't have sex with them. It was something that was instilled in me (don't put out) and the guy friends that I've had all my life are still some of the best friends that a person could have almost 40 years later. Bogie, if you trust in what you've taught your daughter and that she truly believes what you say then it shouldn't hurt for her to have her friend (male or female) over for the night, just as long as she considers them a "true friend" and vice-versa (not boy or girl friend). Sometimes true friends are not the same sex as you are but it takes 35 years for a person to realize how important they are and by then you're planting flowers on their grave.
Just MHO

StcChief
07-15-2006, 12:38 AM
NFW. raise a boy I know how they work/think.

luv
07-15-2006, 12:42 AM
That's a tough one. Personally, I would gay no once they got to the age where they have started going to school. I wouldn't judge someone else for letting it happen. You know these kids.

If it did happen, I would say that they sleep in the living room on separate pieces of furniture. JMO

StcChief
07-15-2006, 12:56 AM
Well maybe 8 but that is likely the limit. I would be careful here though.

Demonpenz
07-15-2006, 01:09 AM
I hope you kids enjoy the fish sticks...wait a second... I never buy fishsticks. WTH IS THAT SMELL

Count Alex's Wins
07-15-2006, 01:16 AM
The part that surprised me is that she initiated it! ROFL

Little slut.

memyselfI
07-15-2006, 07:11 AM
I'd ask myself 1 question...is this boy more likely to be her prom date in 10 years, or her hair dresser in 12?

If he doesn't color coordinate his clothes now, its probably not sleepover night.

Maybe you could compromise, and have a "campout" in your back yard...put up a tent, make a fire, cook mellows, and stay out there with them....for their own protection from polar bears or whatnot.

Bravo. :clap:

Great idea.

Over-Head
07-15-2006, 08:56 AM
As long as there were about 3 other children involved and you set the livingroom up as "sleep Central" with you and your other half keeping a close eye on them till they ALL went to sleep, personally "I" wouldn’t have a problem with it.BUT1 on 1 , sorry I’d tell my child "NO, and when your grown up and a parent yourself you can say NO without an explanation"

patteeu
07-15-2006, 09:21 AM
No

What reason do I use if I say no?

"It's not appropriate."

Iowanian
07-15-2006, 09:34 AM
Does that ever work? Hostile fathers never really bothered me.

It works alot better if you believe he's very serious about throwing pieces of your corpse in an abandoned well.

SLAG
07-15-2006, 10:23 AM
Post 100

that is all

Delano
07-15-2006, 02:02 PM
Post 100

that is all

Pathetic on so many levels.

The Pedestrian
07-15-2006, 02:27 PM
I'd vote for Iowanian's idea of the campout, but even with that, make sure they don't go into a single tent at any time for any reason. I remember that age well enough to say that I wouldn't let a daughter of mine (if I had one) do the coed sleepover.

bogie
07-17-2006, 01:25 PM
I'd ask myself 1 question...is this boy more likely to be her prom date in 10 years, or her hair dresser in 12?

If he doesn't color coordinate his clothes now, its probably not sleepover night.

Maybe you could compromise, and have a "campout" in your back yard...put up a tent, make a fire, cook mellows, and stay out there with them....for their own protection from polar bears or whatnot.

This is exactly what we've decided to do.

bogie
07-17-2006, 01:30 PM
I can't believe you 're even pondering the freaking question. The answer is, "HELL NO" he can't sleep over.

And the reason is.... you're daddy, you pay the bills and she lives under your roof.

If you need an explanation because you can't sack up to your daughter, tell her because you said so. If that doesn't work then you'll be questioned all of your life about why you made this decision or that decision. Then you're forced to explain something that you might not want to explain at the current moment (like sex).

I have a 9yo daughter and her 10 yo male cousin can't even sleep over. Matter of fact, we don't let her sleep over or rarely let anyone else sleep over here outside of my niece. Why? because I used to sleep over at my 2nd cousin by marriage and we used to "experiement" at the age of 5+. We didn't do anything but it was more dry humping & you show me yours, etc. Kids are more advanced than you think.

My daughter already knows, we don't do sleepovers unless it's over my sisters house, my mothers house, or our house (no friends just niece & nephew).

Case and point, one of her best friends had a slumber party/sleepover for her B-Day. We'll pick her up as late as 11pm but she's not spending the night. Too many sickos that appear to be innocent. Ask the Catholic religion.

1. You never fatten frogs for snakes. I know you think now it's an innocent 8 yo sleepover. When do the male/female sleepovers stop? What about when she's 16 etc? Do they still do the sleep over thing?

2. You're just asking for trouble by starting the sleep over thing. You can be accused of all kinds of sexual stuff by any kid (even though you may not have done anything) why even chance it and add the drama in your life? Vice versa, someone could molest your daughter (you sure as hell don't want that). And it's all your word against theirs. Even if you didn't do anything, how do you think that makes people look at you even if you're cleared?

Not everything requires an explanation (she's a KID) and she'll understand why you've always said no later in life. You're an ADULT, start acting like one.

~ Can't believe you're even considering it.

I appreciate your response. You could pull back on the assholeness. There's a difference between, not "sacking up" and treating someone with respect, even if they're 8 years old.

bogie
07-17-2006, 01:32 PM
I agree with this.

Some things just plain do not require a reason spelled out for them.

I agree, some things. Not on this case though.

Iowanian
07-17-2006, 02:08 PM
More proof that Iowanian Rules.

CoMoChief
07-17-2006, 02:11 PM
She already wants to questions my decisions. If I give her a reason in the beginning, she knows my mind is made up. I am looking forward to her growing up, but not looking forward to some of the challenges ahead.


You mean like puberty and her turning into a woman, whatever the hell thats supposed to mean.

sedated
07-17-2006, 02:19 PM
she only wants to have a sleepover with 1 male friend?

the writing is on the wall.

if you let it happen, take her out the next day to buy her Paris Hilton's Official Stupid Spoiled Slut Video Playset

bogie
07-17-2006, 02:43 PM
More proof that Iowanian Rules.

Indeed.

bogie
07-17-2006, 02:44 PM
You mean like puberty and her turning into a woman, whatever the hell thats supposed to mean.

Yea, whatever the hell that's supposed to mean.

bogie
07-17-2006, 02:48 PM
she only wants to have a sleepover with 1 male friend?

the writing is on the wall.

if you let it happen, take her out the next day to buy her Paris Hilton's Official Stupid Spoiled Slut Video Playset

She wants to have a sleepover with a freind. The whole male female thing hasn't entered in to her equation yet. But I'm not willing to risk turning her into the next Paris Hilton. Fortunately, she's neither spoiled or stupid or a slut for that matter.

Iowanian
07-17-2006, 02:52 PM
if you let it happen, take her out the next day to buy her Paris Hilton's Official Stupid Spoiled Slut Video Playset

You're talking about the guy's 8 year old daughter.

I know its tough for you to know when to tone down the dipshittery, but sometimes, there is a time to choose not to be an asswipe.

sedated
07-17-2006, 03:14 PM
You're talking about the guy's 8 year old daughter.

I know its tough for you to know when to tone down the dipshittery, but sometimes, there is a time to choose not to be an asswipe.

what'd I say? :shrug:



(it was from an episode of South Park, BTW)



(asswipe)