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AZORChiefFan
07-17-2006, 09:06 PM
2 Jehovas Witnesses come to my door to invite me to a JW Convention. What the hell?

Moooo
07-17-2006, 09:08 PM
2 Jehovas Witnesses come to my door to invite me to a JW Convention. What the hell?

That's a sign, dude...

Moooo

Count Alex's Losses
07-17-2006, 09:11 PM
Nice. You should go only if you enjoy getting beat over the head with the bible for 8 hours, with a break for lunch.

HOWEVER there are lots of hot ladies around in their best formal wear.

AZORChiefFan
07-17-2006, 09:17 PM
Nice. You should go only if you enjoy getting beat over the head with the bible for 8 hours, with a break for lunch.

HOWEVER there are lots of hot ladies around in their best formal wear.

S'pose I could take my ipod. The convention is at the Glendale Arena. Though the battery may not last that long. hmmmm.

Ari Chi3fs
07-17-2006, 09:18 PM
I never understood Jehovah's Witness... Dont they like believe that only 98,000 people are actually going to heaven? [some arbitrary number like that]

So, why are they out recruiting? Seems like Id be trying to secure my spot, not give it away.

Moooo
07-17-2006, 09:19 PM
S'pose I could take my ipod. The convention is at the Glendale Arena. Though the battery may not last that long. hmmmm.

Lightning bolts soon to follow... :) JK

Moooo

P.S. Isn't it too hot to be spanking it in Phoenix?

Moooo

Count Alex's Losses
07-17-2006, 09:22 PM
I never understood Jehovah's Witness... Dont they like believe that only 98,000 people are actually going to heaven?

144,000. I think there is a biblical basis for it. The real kicker is who those 144,000 are. Apparently if you are one of the "anointed", you just "know." I'd like to meet one of those idiots.


So, why are they out recruiting? Seems like Id be trying to secure my spot, not give it away.

ROFL

Apparently most of them are satisfied with living forever in a paradise earth. That's what most of them are looking forward to, anyway. :shake:

AZORChiefFan
07-17-2006, 09:23 PM
Lightning bolts soon to follow... :) JK

Moooo

P.S. Isn't it too hot to be spanking it in Phoenix?

Moooo
I have the central air besides it's never too hot to rub one out.

Count Alex's Losses
07-17-2006, 09:24 PM
S'pose I could take my ipod. The convention is at the Glendale Arena. Though the battery may not last that long. hmmmm.

You just want to go to check it out? Be prepared to sing along with 5,000 other people.

Moooo
07-17-2006, 09:24 PM
Apparently most of them are satisfied with living forever in a paradise earth. That's what most of them are looking forward to, anyway. :shake:

Can't help but feel sorry for the ones who get their piece of "Paradise Earth" only to find out its in the middle of the Sahara or some swampland in Florida.

Moooo

CoMoChief
07-17-2006, 09:27 PM
2 Jehovas Witnesses come to my door to invite me to a JW Convention. What the hell?


Did you tell them they werent going to Heaven???

Count Alex's Losses
07-17-2006, 09:30 PM
Can't help but feel sorry for the ones who get their piece of "Paradise Earth" only to find out its in the middle of the Sahara or some swampland in Florida.

Moooo

According to their beliefs, the whole earth will be transformed after Armageddon.

Moooo
07-17-2006, 09:36 PM
According to their beliefs, the whole earth will be transformed after Armageddon.

Armageddons tend to do that.

I'm guessing all the rules of meteorology will be replaced then? That's the only way it would work, which could happen (he is God).

Moooo

Count Alex's Losses
07-17-2006, 09:39 PM
Armageddons tend to do that.

I'm guessing all the rules of meteorology will be replaced then? That's the only way it would work, which could happen (he is God).

Moooo

I guess the earth is going to expand it's size by a few billion miles, too, because supposedly EVERYONE is going to get resurrected. EVERYONE.

Except like, Hitler-level bad guys.

kcfanintitanhell
07-17-2006, 09:45 PM
Dont they like believe that only 98,000 people are actually going to heaven? [some arbitrary number like that]



I've done quite a bit of soul searching on this matter, and have come to the conclusion that hell, or, (what I'm hoping for, actually), purgatory, would be infinitely preferable to spending the rest of eternity with idiots like that.

melbar
07-17-2006, 11:15 PM
I never understood Jehovah's Witness... Dont they like believe that only 98,000 people are actually going to heaven? [some arbitrary number like that]

So, why are they out recruiting? Seems like Id be trying to secure my spot, not give it away.

144,000 in heaven and the rest (the meek) inheriting the Earth and living immortally on it forever.

Psyko Tek
07-18-2006, 12:13 AM
when they used to annoy me I answered the door in my boxers with a beer in my hand and my dick hangin' out

then you stand there and talk to them about the weather until they leave

doesn't really take that long and their friends don't show up much afterwards

Predarat
07-18-2006, 11:01 AM
You should have invited them into the computer room, shared the Pron with them then informed them they are no longer part of the 144,000.

StcChief
07-18-2006, 11:05 AM
You should have invited them into the computer room, shared the Pron with them then informed them they are no longer part of the 144,000.
ROFL

12 tribes of Isreal x 12,000/each tribe or something like that

Donger
07-18-2006, 11:07 AM
I had a similar experience with some Mormons yesterday. They showed up on bicycles, which made it even funnier. Then, I thought of that movie Orgazmo and I couldn't stop laughing. One of them prayed for my soul, I think, and then they left.

sedated
07-18-2006, 11:10 AM
religion's for suckers

Jilly
07-18-2006, 04:50 PM
if they were females you could have just opened the door and said, "what do you know, God does answer prayers. Giggity. Alright."

Dave Lane
07-18-2006, 05:09 PM
I never understood Jehovah's Witness... Dont they like believe that only 98,000 people are actually going to heaven? [some arbitrary number like that]

So, why are they out recruiting? Seems like Id be trying to secure my spot, not give it away.


144,000 12,000 from each of the 12 tribes of Isreal.

Dave

Calcountry
07-18-2006, 07:58 PM
Nice. You should go only if you enjoy getting beat over the head with the bible for 8 hours, with a break for lunch.

HOWEVER there are lots of hot ladies around in their best formal wear....which explains why I never get any.

Calcountry
07-18-2006, 07:59 PM
144,000. I think there is a biblical basis for it. The real kicker is who those 144,000 are. Apparently if you are one of the "anointed", you just "know." I'd like to meet one of those idiots.



ROFL

Apparently most of them are satisfied with living forever in a paradise earth. That's what most of them are looking forward to, anyway. :shake:About 100 thousand of them were at the Rose Bowl for The USC/Texas game.

big nasty kcnut
07-18-2006, 08:03 PM
Don't worry about them they just mad they can't have fun.

Calcountry
07-18-2006, 08:17 PM
ROFL

12 tribes of Isreal x 12,000/each tribe or something like thatThrow this verse at them the next time. "God is willing that none should perish, but all have eternal life."

dj56dt58
07-18-2006, 08:22 PM
I guess the earth is going to expand it's size by a few billion miles, too, because supposedly EVERYONE is going to get resurrected. EVERYONE.

Except like, Hitler-level bad guys.
And Mike Shannahan

kcfanintitanhell
07-18-2006, 08:33 PM
I guess the earth is going to expand it's size by a few billion miles, too, because supposedly EVERYONE is going to get resurrected. EVERYONE.

Except like, Hitler-level bad guys.
Seems I read somewhere once upon a time that the number of people alive on the planet today exceeds the total number of human beings that have died in the entire history of the human race.

Rain Man
07-18-2006, 08:42 PM
You know what would be a great porn plot? Some guy is watching porn when there's a knock on the door. He opens it, and it's two female missionaries of the Delilah's Witnesses, a non-mainstream religion that believes that believes that you have to have sex with 144,000 people to go to heaven. Oh, and they support a version of polygamy that doesn't require marriage and involves simultaneous sex with all partners.

stumppy
07-18-2006, 09:46 PM
You know what would be a great porn plot? Some guy is watching porn when there's a knock on the door. He opens it, and it's two female missionaries of the Delilah's Witnesses, a non-mainstream religion that believes that believes that you have to have sex with 144,000 people to go to heaven. Oh, and they support a version of polygamy that doesn't require marriage and involves simultaneous sex with all partners.


Is that your wife I see standing right behind you ?

Count Alex's Losses
07-18-2006, 09:50 PM
You know what would be a great porn plot? Some guy is watching porn when there's a knock on the door. He opens it, and it's two female missionaries of the Delilah's Witnesses, a non-mainstream religion that believes that believes that you have to have sex with 144,000 people to go to heaven. Oh, and they support a version of polygamy that doesn't require marriage and involves simultaneous sex with all partners.

"Witness my cock, ladies."

Moon§hiner
07-18-2006, 10:17 PM
Tell them you are really busy right now, but if they wouldn't mind giving you their address you will stop by and invite them to come to the bar with you later....true story and haven't had one on my doorstep for 4 years now. They point to my house and go to the next...I've been blackballed...heh

Rausch
07-18-2006, 10:56 PM
109 degree heated standing water in hose + proper ability to apply thumb to exit point + proper aim once turning on the water = JUSTICE...

Frosty
07-19-2006, 10:23 AM
Throw this verse at them the next time. "God is willing that none should perish, but all have eternal life."

Or this one:

Faithful is the saying and worthy of all welcome (for for this are we toiling and being reproached), that we rely on the living God, Who is the Saviour of all mankind, especially of believers. These things be charging and teaching. (I Tim:9-11)