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View Full Version : Whats the best way to tell your spouce she needs to loose weight?


Demonpenz
07-30-2006, 11:25 PM
I have a friend his wife had 3 kids and let herself go. Now he wants advice on how to tell her to loose some weight. I figured you guys would know the best way

oaklandhater
07-30-2006, 11:25 PM
Yes it makes you look fat.

grandllama
07-30-2006, 11:26 PM
"loose some weight bitch or i'm going to **** jenny gump"

Mecca
07-30-2006, 11:31 PM
LOL, this is going to go over real well. Basically every woman is going to consider you an asshole for this.......

Spicy McHaggis
07-30-2006, 11:31 PM
Start working out yourself if you don't already. Then slip in bits about how much better you feel since you've started, weight lost, other benefits. Suggest you do it as a couple because you enjoy it and want to share it or that if she goes she'll help keep you motivated.

I like going to the gym and used to go with my ex probably two out of the four times a week I went. Unfortunately, having a toned girlfriend doesn't prevent her from becoming as crazy, toned girlfriend.


Anyway, that's the only way I know that won't result in a swift kick to the groin.

Demonpenz
07-30-2006, 11:33 PM
I just told him maybe buy her a treadmill or a gym membership. Or stop buying ice cream for her.

Rausch
07-30-2006, 11:37 PM
"I don't know where my ****ing belt is.....NO, it's not behind the couch.



You know what, **** it, I'll just wear one of yours..."

grandllama
07-30-2006, 11:38 PM
"I don't know where my ****ing belt is.....NO, it's not behind the couch.



You know what, **** it, I'll just wear one of yours..."

You know, I have no clue what your talking about... but when I was in your house, the pix I saw told me your ol' lady was a hottie....

;)

ENDelt260
07-30-2006, 11:39 PM
Call her a c*nt. She'll lose 200 pounds 'fore you know it.

grandllama
07-30-2006, 11:40 PM
Call her a c*nt. She'll lose 200 pounds 'fore you know it.

live 'n learn

ENDelt260
07-30-2006, 11:42 PM
live 'n learn
I'm not so hip to the learnin' half.

grandllama
07-30-2006, 11:43 PM
I'm not so hip to the learnin' half.

yup, with us MO / KS guys, learnin is haf the battle

Rausch
07-30-2006, 11:43 PM
You know, I have no clue what your talking about... but when I was in your house, the pix I saw told me your ol' lady was a hottie....

;)

I did the atkins thing for about a year and went from 225 to 170-175.

Being able to wear her belts was the final straw. She started some jazzer-cise $#it and cleansed the house of anything (outside of beer) that had the words sugar or carbs on them.

It really does improve the sex life. Neither person has to look at a fat b@st@rd, and that helps...

grandllama
07-30-2006, 11:50 PM
I did the atkins thing for about a year and went from 225 to 170-175.

Being able to wear her belts was the final straw. She started some jazzer-cise $#it and cleansed the house of anything (outside of beer) that had the words sugar or carbs on them.

It really does improve the sex life. Neither person has to look at a fat b@st@rd, and that helps...

you know, this is going to be my only serious post of the night...

congratulations.

and if she is even hotter than the pix I saw...

triple congratulations.

when I met you I'd lost 50

now i'm down to 290

its a big difference to ALL involved.

ms llama left me 1.5 years ago. when she heard what I was down to (you've seen me)...

all she wants to do is get back with me (thats 20lbs less than when I met her)

BucEyedPea
07-30-2006, 11:52 PM
There's ONLY 2 ways:

(1) Honey, you need to lose weight. You've let yourself go.

OR

(2) I love you just the way you are.

ENDelt260
07-30-2006, 11:53 PM
I bet if you f*ck a chick half her weight she'd get the message.

BucEyedPea
07-30-2006, 11:57 PM
What if half her weight is 90 lbs?

Demonpenz
07-30-2006, 11:58 PM
What if half her weight is 90 lbs?


Easier to go against a wall with her

Mosbonian
07-30-2006, 11:58 PM
Reading this thread all I can think of is the old song by Rick Nelson...."Fools Rush In"

mmaddog
*******

Bacon Cheeseburger
07-30-2006, 11:58 PM
Call her from a good divorce attorney's office.

ENDelt260
07-30-2006, 11:59 PM
What if half her weight is 90 lbs?
Cruise the junior highs.

greg63
07-31-2006, 12:05 AM
You say: "Dear, I'm concerned about your health and the risk you’re taking by not maintaining proper body mass." :D

grandllama
07-31-2006, 12:06 AM
You say: "Dear, I'm concerned about your health and the risk you’re taking by not maintaining proper body mass." :D

and the fact that you just can't get me hard anymore....

Moooo
07-31-2006, 03:02 AM
I have a friend his wife had 3 kids and let herself go. Now he wants advice on how to tell her to loose some weight. I figured you guys would know the best way

The best way... DON'T!!! Its not like she doesn't know it, she's not an idiot. Obviously if she's at a point in time in her life where she doesn't feel up to losing the weight on her own, having her husband tell her she's not attractive (which is how all women take it) will only make it worse.

Moooo, who didn't read a single reply to this thread, and didn't have to

Logical
07-31-2006, 03:19 AM
I have a friend his wife had 3 kids and let herself go. Now he wants advice on how to tell her to loose some weight. I figured you guys would know the best wayHave all his assets locked away in the Caymen islands and call from a location 4000 miles away.

Hog Farmer
07-31-2006, 05:41 AM
Sit on the sofa and start Jackin off watchin reruns of Baywatch! Maybe she'll grab a clue.

Simplex3
07-31-2006, 05:47 AM
Just be ready for when she tells you that your d**k is too small and you smell.

As of this morning I've lost 84lbs and have about another 40 to go. My wife has done things like adjusted our menu to help me, which has in turn helped her (not that she needs NEARLY the help I do).

Braincase
07-31-2006, 06:00 AM
"Honey, I wasn't going to say anything, but seein's how three cheerios and and a mini-donut have fallen into your gravity well and are now in orbit..."

Troy1220
07-31-2006, 06:01 AM
"Whats the best way to tell your spouce she needs to loose weight?"

I'd tell her, "Honey, if you lose 15 pounds, I promise I'll work on my spelling."

jjjayb
07-31-2006, 06:31 AM
Easy. When she catches you banging her sister just tell her it's because she's too fat.

Bob Dole
07-31-2006, 06:35 AM
You might try just mooing at her whenever she walks past your lazy ass sitting on the couch.

Mr. Flopnuts
07-31-2006, 06:36 AM
You might try just mooing at her whenever she walks past your lazy ass sitting on the couch.



This is good. I would just start calling her fatass though. "Could you get me a beer while you're up.............FATASS"

morphius
07-31-2006, 06:38 AM
Tell her she is looking more and more like her Mom every day.

the Talking Can
07-31-2006, 06:39 AM
"bitch, you're fat"

DaKCMan AP
07-31-2006, 06:44 AM
Rent her out. Not only will she lose some weight but he'll make some cash too.

badgirl
07-31-2006, 07:15 AM
Why does anyone need to be told they need to lose weight? A person should know if they are getting a little overweight themselves without being told, you'd think three children would be enough to keep the weight off in itself.

morphius
07-31-2006, 07:18 AM
Why does anyone need to be told they need to lose weight? A person should know if they are getting a little overweight themselves without being told, you'd think three children would be enough to keep the weight off in itself.
She probably already knows that she is fat, but thats not really the issue here.

jspchief
07-31-2006, 07:20 AM
You know, it's a funny issue. Most wives wouldn't bat an eye at bitching at their husbands for the very same thing. Yet men have to walk on eggshells.

My advice? Reform your diet and start an excercise program and make it known that you expect her to participate too. Do the things you think she needs to do, making it known that it is a change in lifestyle for the entire family.

If she ignores your subtlety, tell her straight up, and be honest about your reason, whether it be health concerns or physical attraction. That's all you can do. Of course, the result will likely be ugly. But if you feel like it's something that is threatening your marriage, you have nothing to lose.

jspchief
07-31-2006, 07:22 AM
Why does anyone need to be told they need to lose weight? A person should know if they are getting a little overweight themselves without being told, you'd think three children would be enough to keep the weight off in itself.I'm sure she knows she's overweight. If she's doing nothing about it, that says she's willing to accept it. The issue here is whether the husband is willing to accept it too.

kepp
07-31-2006, 07:29 AM
A couple things...does she have a friend that is currently trying to lose weight? If so, that could be your best bet. Otherwise, I'd use "Honey, I'd really like us to get healthier. We're probably cheating ourselves out of a couple years by letting our health go."

Probably the most important thing, though, is that she is made to feel secure about their relationship regardless of her weight. That makes it a lot easier for her to face the challenge of dieting/weight loss.

the Talking Can
07-31-2006, 07:30 AM
A couple things...does she have a friend that is currently trying to lose weight? If so, that could be your best bet. Otherwise, I'd use "Honey, I'd really like us to get healthier. We're probably cheating ourselves out of a couple years by letting our health go."

Probably the most important thing, though, is that she is made to feel secure about their relationship regardless of her weight. That makes it a lot easier for her to face the challenge of dieting/weight loss.

yeah...bang her first, then when she is secure, tell her she's just too damn fat....

DaKCMan AP
07-31-2006, 07:33 AM
Assuming one is old enough to speak, have the kid tell her. :D

ZepSinger
07-31-2006, 07:36 AM
Seriously, just start noticing trim women. You won't have to say a thing- believe me, they know you're looking.

Z

Iowanian
07-31-2006, 07:37 AM
I think the best way if you really want to help is...

"Hey, its a nice evening....lets go for a bike ride"
"That was fun, lets walk down to the xyz in the morning before work"


I'm sure she knows it, she's probably just overwhelmed with the chaos or depressed and needs a spark. No need to be a dick to her, unless her reply involves her sucking the filling out of a box of twinkeys like a fat tick.

the Talking Can
07-31-2006, 07:38 AM
, unless her reply involves her sucking the filling out of a box of twinkeys like a fat tick.


ROFL

Hog Farmer
07-31-2006, 07:53 AM
You could just tell her that if she doesn't drop 20 pounds fast that you just can't take it any more and you're gonna have to kill yourself.

Oh, wait! Maybe that's not a good idea.

kepp
07-31-2006, 07:58 AM
yeah...bang her first, then when she is secure, tell her she's just too damn fat....
Not quite what I meant, but to each his own...

Iowanian
07-31-2006, 08:02 AM
Get her drunk, insert a spiggot into her kidney lard as she sleeps, put a heat lamp on her and drain the fat off like bacon grease.

the Talking Can
07-31-2006, 08:04 AM
Not quite what I meant, but to each his own...

I know....my bad attempt at humor...

badgirl
07-31-2006, 08:05 AM
How overweight are we talking here? :hmmm:

morphius
07-31-2006, 08:05 AM
yeah...bang her first, then when she is secure, tell her she's just too damn fat....
Start screwing one of her rolls, and when she looks unsatisfied, just say, "What?".

the Talking Can
07-31-2006, 08:08 AM
Start screwing one of her rolls, and when she looks unsatisfied, just say, "What?".

oh man....this thread is going to hell... ROFL

Iowanian
07-31-2006, 08:09 AM
How overweight are we talking here? :hmmm:

You know how your arse looks like it was beaten with a bag of nickles?


This poor gal looks like the Micheline man was run over by an industrial garden weasle.


Does it really matter?

The first question is, is your friend the beacon of health or could he justify losing a little weight? I find it hypocritical for anyone with a beer gut to expect their wife to look like the barfing Olsen twin.

sedated
07-31-2006, 08:10 AM
Start screwing one of her rolls, and when she looks unsatisfied, just say, "What?".

some guys pay extra for that


(or so I've heard)

Iowanian
07-31-2006, 08:13 AM
Start screwing one of her rolls, and when she looks unsatisfied, just say, "What?".


I wouldn't think that would be necessary man. Its uncalled for even.

It would probably work to just light some candles, spray some lavender scent on the bed linens, do your best to appear effortless in the piggyback ride you give her to the bedroom and lay her down gently.....and flop down a 10lb bag of flour next to the Ky on the bed.

morphius
07-31-2006, 08:20 AM
oh man....this thread is going to hell... ROFL
I think I need a new acronym...

LIAFTO: Lord, I apologize for that one

morphius
going to hell

Iowanian
07-31-2006, 08:23 AM
Morph says a lady isn't truely fat, until she leaves a body outline on the sheets that looks like pine tar.

morphius
07-31-2006, 08:27 AM
Morph says a lady isn't truely fat, until she leaves a body outline on the sheets that looks like pine tar.
Says the man looking to bring in flour into the equation...
:D

Iowanian
07-31-2006, 08:28 AM
"I Learned it by watching YOU DAD! I learned it from watching you"


Remember that 80's anti drug commercial?

morphius
07-31-2006, 08:29 AM
"I Learned it by watching YOU DAD! I learned it from watching you"


Remember that 80's anti drug commercial?
yup.

R&GHomer
07-31-2006, 08:29 AM
When asked, do these jeans make my ass look fat? You reply, No, your ass makes your ass look fat!

Rausch
07-31-2006, 09:02 AM
When I needed to lose weight and did it that's all the motivation she needed to do the same.

Women are uber-jealous and she kept giving me the "now you're gonna' go out and get another woman" line of BS.

I told her hey, if you lose even 1/2 of what I lost I WILL HAVE another woman. Be kinda' kinky, 'eh?...

Mr. Laz
07-31-2006, 09:08 AM
Start working out yourself if you don't already. Then slip in bits about how much better you feel since you've started, weight lost, other benefits. Suggest you do it as a couple because you enjoy it and want to share it or that if she goes she'll help keep you motivated.

I like going to the gym and used to go with my ex probably two out of the four times a week I went. Unfortunately, having a toned girlfriend doesn't prevent her from becoming as crazy, toned girlfriend.


Anyway, that's the only way I know that won't result in a swift kick to the groin.
yep... there is not "best way to tell ..." a woman anything


suggest,influence .... yes

tell ........ no


start walking,working out or whatever ..... invite her to come along so you guys can spend time together and get healthy.


warning!!! never say lose weight ... always say "get healthy"

no matter how many times she ask it's always "get healthy"


i can't emphasize this enough ... never bring up losing weight.

Predarat
07-31-2006, 09:55 AM
Seriously, just start noticing trim women. You won't have to say a thing- believe me, they know you're looking.

Z
That really does work!!

Bob Dole
07-31-2006, 10:03 AM
Bob Dole assumes you didn't have her sign the prenuptual agreement that stated if her weight ever varied by more than 12 pounds, she was forbidden from using your resulting infidelity in any civil suit.

Donger
07-31-2006, 10:07 AM
I hate loose weight. It's very dangerous.

greg63
07-31-2006, 10:08 AM
You could just tell her that if she doesn't drop 20 pounds fast that you just can't take it any more and you're gonna have to kill yourself.

Oh, wait! Maybe that's not a good idea.My wife would add another 20 pounds, and then hand me the revolver.

vailpass
07-31-2006, 12:02 PM
Let her walk in on you nailing a skinny broad; tell her life's too short to have to **** a pig all the time.