View Full Version : You might be a Chiefs fan if...

12-12-2000, 09:59 AM
I heard a commercial on the radio yesterday for some comedian appearing in KC who has an act something like Jeff Foxworthy. Instead of “you might be a redneck…” , though he does a thing about “you might be a Chiefs fan if…” Here are a couple that I remember from the commercial plus a couple of my own. Anyone else got any good ones?

You might be a Chiefs fan if…

…your wife is bigger than Chester McGlockton.
…you use the “girlfriend by committee” system.
…you think 5 hours of sleep a night is too much.
…when Elvis grew a beard for good luck, your wife shaved hers off.

[This message has been edited by Dartgod (edited 12-12-2000).]

12-12-2000, 10:01 AM
LOL at the last one.

You might be a Chiefs fan if.....
you enjoy hitting yourself in the head with a ball peen hammer.

12-12-2000, 10:05 AM
You might be a Chiefs fan if:

You keep a defibrillator next to your beer during Chiefs games...<P>

12-12-2000, 10:06 AM
Dartgod - Congrats on the 3 point win in Yahoo, lucky bastiage... I tried for a 300 last night, even though I started off like crap, 173, 267 and a 275 for a 715 series. My two highest games and my highest series to date. First game I spent adjusting trying to get away from the 100 pin, left it 4 times with a 50% pickup, and one adjustment left me a split so it was an ugly game.

12-12-2000, 10:10 AM
Jeff, thanks for the congrats. You are right - lucky is the best way to describe my victory. I posted you a note about it on the Yahoo league page. Nice series. Too bad you weren’t on it that first game. Although I’ve shot two 300’s, my best series ever is 721.

[This message has been edited by Dartgod (edited 12-12-2000).]

12-12-2000, 10:22 AM
You might be a Chiefs fan if........

...you believe that this is yr 4 of a 5 yr plan to the Super Bowl.

I BELIEVE,I BELIEVE,I BELIEVE that we are in trouble! http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

12-12-2000, 10:25 AM
I've been busy lately and out of touch. How was the cross-country trip with Mrs. Packard?

[This message has been edited by PostalChief (edited 12-12-2000).]

12-12-2000, 10:27 AM
You might be a Chiefs fan if:.....

you believe John Tait was really offended to hear an F-bomb slung his way.
you believe Dan Williams is due for another big year in 2001 - he has a good year every other, other, other year.
you hate Mighty Mouse & Spiderman cartoons more than anyone on the planet.
and on a more somber note, if you swore you'd NEVER wear a seatbelt but now find yourself buckling up to drive to the end of your driveway for the mail.

12-12-2000, 10:28 AM
Dartgod - I did better then I deserved in the FFL, so I really can't complain. Not being in last place at the end was huge for me after losing my first 6 or so.

As for the first game in bowling, that 10 pin was giving me hell, and I despise that pin. Both lanes were different and I just had to keep moving until the 10 pin went with the rest, on move was too far and left me an ugly split that I missed. Right now I own high game and high series (4 pins) in my league.

12-12-2000, 10:30 AM
Postal - We made it in 2 days and it went great, everything has been going pretty good since she got home. Heard the babies heartbeat for the first time yesterday, was pretty cool. The weather in KC is horrible, way too much ice.

Rick Stephens
12-12-2000, 10:33 AM
You might be a Chiefs fan if;

You wife or girl friend looks like Carl Peterson!

12-12-2000, 10:36 AM
You are the man. Just lovely up here in Omaha, you'd love it. 8" of snow on the ground, 3 degrees w/-7 wind chill. Aaahh.

12-12-2000, 10:49 AM
You might be a Chiefs fan if.....

You spend more money on the tailgate shindigs than season tickets, house payments and a car combined. *GRIN*

~Had to toss that one in Bob~

12-12-2000, 12:50 PM
You might be a Chiefs fan if;

You're trying to sell all your Chiefs paraphernalia the day after the first round of the playoffs.

12-12-2000, 01:01 PM
...if you really own your own pair of those ugly red pants!!!

12-12-2000, 01:12 PM
You might be a Chiefs fan if:

- you think Tony Richardson is your teams answer to finding a top notch HB.

- you think Chester McGlockton is one of the best DL in the league.

- you think Elvis Grbac is a better QB than Manning.

- you think condiment colors make a nice uniform.

- you've spent the entire month of January completely depressed muttering about a kicker shanking a field goal that could have won a playoff game.

Rick Stephens
12-12-2000, 02:07 PM
You might be a Chiefs fan if:

You think Gunther is a another Vince Lombardi!

You think Lew Bush spends too much time in the bush!

You think that Kurt Shottenheimer is better suited for a circus act!

Your girlfriends a$$ is bigger than Arrowhead !

12-12-2000, 02:09 PM

You are one of the few people in the country who doubts that Chester and Donell split a bag of Cheetos at halftime.

...you don't like anyone named Kurt because of snotenheimer.or jimmy or mike......but thats rough, have brothers named jimmy and mike....the pricks.

Clint in Wichita
12-12-2000, 02:10 PM
You might be a Chiefs fan if:

Your entire universe has a red tint to it.

Baby Lee
12-12-2000, 02:18 PM
If every Sunday afternoon is capped off by limping to the hardware store to buy some new drywall and a tub of joint compound.

[This message has been edited by JC-Johnny (edited 12-12-2000).]

12-12-2000, 02:23 PM
You might be a Chiefs fan if...

When you think of Joe Montana, you think of him in Chiefs uniform

You hate the Raiders and everything associated with the Raiders until they become a Chief (Marcus Allen)

You love everyone dressed in Red and Gold , but hate the same players when dressed in silver and black

If you can bad mouth the Chiefs, but any fan of another team cannot

Baby Lee
12-12-2000, 02:26 PM
Bricky - that's amazing. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!

12-12-2000, 02:38 PM
You might be a Chiefs fan if...

you think the last word of the national anthem is CHIEFS

every time you hear the word "Denise" you think to yourself, "I really hate the Raiders"

It looks I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue!

Rick Stephens
12-12-2000, 06:20 PM
You might be a Chiefs fan if:

You believe Elvis has a playoff Win !!

12-12-2000, 06:55 PM
you might be a Chiefs fan if...

The losses that used to make you go ballistic, now just make you depressed.

12-13-2000, 06:55 AM
You be a Chief fan if
You think that Marty Shottenheimer was a great coach.
Your fondest football memories are from 30 years ago.
You are shocked and pleasantly surprised when your first round draft pick is something other than an O-Lineman.
You hear someone mention The Three Stooges and your first thought is of Raye, Spurt, and Stock.
the milkman
a proud Chief fan, and probably a red neck also

12-13-2000, 09:58 AM
You might be a Chiefs fan......

..... even if your name is Packfan and hang out on this BB all the time! :D http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/wink.gif

12-13-2000, 10:00 AM
maybe this thread should read..." You might be a sado-masechist if you are a Chiefs fan"

I know I don't like the pain, but keep coming back for the rush... http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/rolleyes.gif

12-13-2000, 11:01 AM
You might be a Chiefs Fan if you went to the Carolina game and stayed till the end.
.....If you are going to the Denver game regardless of the lousy record, lousy coaching and lousy weather.
.....If you spend your every spare minute reading and posting on Chiefs bulletin boards till your eyes bleed KC red.

These arn't funny but they are true for many.